We've become a forum of library ushers, and little else.

[princess4u]

Me too. It would be much nicer if it were phrased, "Thank you for bringing up this topic for some more current discussion. If you'd also like read what's been said previously.............."

Many of us come here for dialogue with those present, though it's also nice to see what was said before...

my feelings exactly - i actually have stopped visiting this forum as much
as i once did because i got tired of reading that the topic had already been posted and to refer to it elsewhere

there are new people and new thoughts on lit everyday -
the opinions and thoughts on previous threads are just that...
opinions and thoughts - sometimes i get the feeling that some
"veteran" posters begin to think of their thoughts and opinions
as being carved in concrete - some people just take themselves
entirely too seriously

i just don't see what's wrong with starting a new thread on a previously
discussed topic

 

[Marquis]

Toddle back to your own thread. You're cock blocking here.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, eh?

 

[Aeroil]

Yes, but is it hard to pass by threads that don't hold any interest to you? Like the entire strap-on family is to me.

The opening of a thread is a voluntary act.

And I like spanking threads!

haha, yeah we really don't need two strap-on threads, seeing as how they're almost identical.

 

[Etoile]

haha, yeah we really don't need two strap-on threads, seeing as how they're almost identical.

Hey buddy, maybe YOU don't see the advantage of multiple strap-ons, but...oh, wait.

 

[Aeroil]

Hey buddy, maybe YOU don't see the advantage of multiple strap-ons, but...oh, wait.

hehehe, far be it for me to protest multiple strap-ons, I think one thread can hold many however .

 

[WriterDom]

If you had read what I already have had to say on this issue before the advent of this thread you would know that is an incorrect interpretation of what I have in the sticky WD....and have you failed to notice I have clearly stated 'past threads'?



I quoted your stick. My addition wasn't an interpertation. Just because someone is critical of the forum doesn't mean it's a personal attack on you. And no I don't read stickys at lit. It's all noble to have a mission statement and rules and such. But in any of these forums, my eyes just skip to the good stuff.

 

[WriterDom]

[QUOTE
i just don't see what's wrong with starting a new thread on a previously
discussed topic[/QUOTE]

Me either. Especially since most of the good topics have already been taken.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Revenge is a dish best served cold, eh?

You tell me.

i'm not in the revenge business.

 

[SueJ]

Catalina, FWIW, I have no problem with your wording in the sticky thread. I think the problem is more that when somebody starts a new thread, often another member jumps in with a comment that the thread-starter should just go read the library. That squelches further conversation on the topic and makes the thread-starter feel like a real jerk. I don't think it's done intentionally; it's probably done to help provide additional information---just not worded carefully.

 

[esclave_PP]

I'm more than positive that since these boards, the BDSM talk and cafe for that matter, are support boards, that there is indeed room for everyone here. Whether that person is new to the lifestyle or old venerable folks, it doesn't matter. There is always new knowledge to be had.

Does it really matter if folks bring up topics discussed before? Whose to say something hasn't been brought to light yet? Besides, it will either get buried to the next pages or pruned eventually -- although -- I don't know if they use the auto pruner here or not. I do on the site that I run, it is a nice way of getting rid of extremely old posts without affecting people's post counts.

But back to the topic at hand. I'm hearing a few things here: 1) Harsh to new members to see "Go to the library" after a couple of posts, 2) A less than friendly atmosphere to allow new discussions, even on tired subjects (which may not be tired to everyone), 3) How do we continue interesting and enlightened conversation without beating a dead horse (sorry to those that like to beat dead horses).

There is always a way to problem solve things -- I am sure there is a solution that benefits everyone. What about just letting conversations take place and not worry about whether or not they've been discussed already. For those that have taken part in the conversations, skip that topic, or better yet, add your wisdom to it. I guess I just don't see anything wrong with healthy discussion. Besides, those of us who do have a lot of experience, we should be good role models and help those newer to the lifestyle, so they can also experience safe and wonderful ways to explore their sexuality and sexual ideals.

 

[Etoile]

Nope, no pruning here that I've ever heard of...and there are some very old threads still hanging around!

One reason I can see for not giving up on posting new threads is that we have new members here all the time. Their insight on a particular issue may not have been shared yet, and because they haven't asked a question about it they won't have found relevant threads in the library and bumped them. So when a topic comes up, they'll be giving their commentary for the first time.

 

[catalina_francisco]

If you had read what I already have had to say on this issue before the advent of this thread you would know that is an incorrect interpretation of what I have in the sticky WD....and have you failed to notice I have clearly stated 'past threads'?



I quoted your stick. My addition wasn't an interpertation. Just because someone is critical of the forum doesn't mean it's a personal attack on you. And no I don't read stickys at lit. It's all noble to have a mission statement and rules and such. But in any of these forums, my eyes just skip to the good stuff.

LOL, you are not alone.....I am guilty also of not reading them......but it is said we must try. Sorry for being touchy and in a hurry when I replied before running out the door...and thanks for providing some support for those wanting to start new threads and feel welcome.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Nope, no pruning here that I've ever heard of...and there are some very old threads still hanging around!

One reason I can see for not giving up on posting new threads is that we have new members here all the time. Their insight on a particular issue may not have been shared yet, and because they haven't asked a question about it they won't have found relevant threads in the library and bumped them. So when a topic comes up, they'll be giving their commentary for the first time.

So true, and without new blood so to speak, the forum dies.

Catalina

 

[chagrin]

I realise I'm coming to this thread late, but I agree with WriterDom.

As well as the library thread issue, I just think this board is a generally unwelcome and insular place all 'round, which is a shame because there's obviously a wealth of knowledge out there. For example, I've often posted in threads where every post is acknowledged but mine and maybe one or two other "newbs".

I am not complaining or whining. Just an observation from an outsider.

 

[dolf]

I realise I'm coming to this thread late, but I agree with WriterDom.

As well as the library thread issue, I just think this board is a generally unwelcome and insular place all 'round, which is a shame because there's obviously a wealth of knowledge out there. For example, I've often posted in threads where every post is acknowledged but mine and maybe one or two other "newbs".

I am not complaining or whining. Just an observation from an outsider.

you're right though.
i was damn persistent and was eventually accepted but when i first arrived i was subjected to the usual noob bashing.
after a while my threads and thought didn't improve but because i was one of the in crowd i stopped getting that treatment.

i've had pm conversations with countless noobs who are new to the game, lost and in need of advice but who i couldn't convince to stay because they were hounded on almost everything they said. does being poorly educated in terms of grammar make there point of view less worthy?

i don't really post here anymore...i got kinda tired of trying to make people feel welcome when they clearly weren't.

flame away.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

To a large degree, I have to agree with WD. I have recently noted an increasing number of "newbie" threads die early deaths because of posts that refer them to the library before anyone has a chance to respond directly to the question(s) posed. Had that happened to me when I first came here, I probably would have abandoned this forum before I ever got out of "Virgin" status. (And some of you may well wish it had happened to me! )

Don't get me wrong: I see nothing wrong with a referral to a library thread after a direct response to the poster's query - especially if it's someone new to the forum. I know that sometimes the older (longer habitués) of the forum may get tired of seeing a "new" question that they've seen two, or three, or umpteen times before... but even as a semi-veteran of the forum, a member for all of nine months (!), I've recently noted that some newbies' threads that I would have liked to see discussed (because I hadn't previously seen a discussion of that point) get killed off by the sequence of Post 1: Newbie question, Post 2: Bald referral to a library thread, End of thread.

What would it hurt to let a few responses that directly address the query get in, and then post a response that does address the query, with a note that, "By the way, you might find some additional guidance/thoughts on this subject in thread X239178," which would lead them to previous threads on (or near) the topic? It would seem to me that would be more encouraging to the new forum poster than the sequence noted in the previous paragraph, and might even provide an opportunity to get some new thoughts in here.

I've almost quit posting to this side of the forum, partly because of this (probably inadvertent) stifling of newbies' questions. The vast majority of my last hundred or so posts have been to the Café side - a complete turnaround from the first few months I was here - and I attribute a large part of that to the fact that these referrals to library threads kill off the new folks' questions so quickly. Even if I've seen the topic before, I do enjoy sharing what knowledge/experience I have with others - but don't feel that it's worth the time to consider their question, frame a response, type and post it when "it's all been discussed before - go read it" pops up as the first or second response to the question.

 

[Etoile]

I've often posted in threads where every post is acknowledged but mine and maybe one or two other "newbs".

I am not complaining or whining. Just an observation from an outsider.

Your observation is indeed welcome.

Personally, I make it a point to post to threads started by newbies or to post to threads that just aren't getting much attention. I specifically scan the "number of posts" column to find threads that have gotten very little love. I refer people to the library when I don't know the answer myself, but it's just to let them know that somebody is at least listening. I try to make sure to mention "I'm sure somebody else will come along with a better answer, but meanwhile there's the library."

But that's just me...

 

[catalina_francisco]

To a large degree, I have to agree with WD. I have recently noted an increasing number of "newbie" threads die early deaths because of posts that refer them to the library before anyone has a chance to respond directly to the question(s) posed. Had that happened to me when I first came here, I probably would have abandoned this forum before I ever got out of "Virgin" status. (And some of you may well wish it had happened to me! )

Don't get me wrong: I see nothing wrong with a referral to a library thread after a direct response to the poster's query - especially if it's someone new to the forum. I know that sometimes the older (longer habitués) of the forum may get tired of seeing a "new" question that they've seen two, or three, or umpteen times before... but even as a semi-veteran of the forum, a member for all of nine months (!), I've recently noted that some newbies' threads that I would have liked to see discussed (because I hadn't previously seen a discussion of that point) get killed off by the sequence of Post 1: Newbie question, Post 2: Bald referral to a library thread, End of thread.

What would it hurt to let a few responses that directly address the query get in, and then post a response that does address the query, with a note that, "By the way, you might find some additional guidance/thoughts on this subject in thread X239178," which would lead them to previous threads on (or near) the topic? It would seem to me that would be more encouraging to the new forum poster than the sequence noted in the previous paragraph, and might even provide an opportunity to get some new thoughts in here.

I've almost quit posting to this side of the forum, partly because of this (probably inadvertent) stifling of newbies' questions. The vast majority of my last hundred or so posts have been to the Café side - a complete turnaround from the first few months I was here - and I attribute a large part of that to the fact that these referrals to library threads kill off the new folks' questions so quickly. Even if I've seen the topic before, I do enjoy sharing what knowledge/experience I have with others - but don't feel that it's worth the time to consider their question, frame a response, type and post it when "it's all been discussed before - go read it" pops up as the first or second response to the question.

I agree with most of what you say and would like to add it is no secret many of us have encouraged (ie.complained they don't ) more Dominants to post. I too have often when caught up in other things in RL come to the board to find a thread slipping to the second page without any or much input....I try to make it a practice to post to it or at least bump it to bring it back to the front, and if too busy still and particularly personally having something to add, mention I will return. It usually works. Part of the problem I think is not so much snobbery as timing, as I mentioned in a thread recently.....there are times when regular posters are here and times when many of them seem to be off the board busy with RL responsibilities.

Like you, though past topics and discussions interest me enough to read them often and sometimes bump for others, I welcome fresh conversations around the same or similar topic and find overall it is more successfully received if the thread has not been dormant over a year. I think we all have a need to personalise our discussion or be answered as opposed to tagging onto someone else's conversation from long ago, especially if the original thread is lengthy to begin with. Sometimes it works with an old thread but overall the ones that work that way best are ones like "What were you doing this time last year", "New Faces" etc. Bottom line though is a discussion board can not be such without continuing discussions and new input/people, while the older threads serve of interest of what has been before and reference material with perhaps other views and wisdom.

Catalina

 

[LadyNatasha]

On a side note...

Most of the newer threads/questions I'm seeing lately start out specifically with, "I check the library first, but couldn't find anything on xyz."

To which they are then "properly" shown how to search and shut the fuck up.

It IS common and I consider it rude as hell. So you don't want to answer the question? Pass on by and let someone else toss in their 2 cents. If people came here just to read the library we wouldn't have forums. There would be no need other than the look at me threads.

That's my take on it and no, I didn't check the damned library first to see if anyone else posted this statement better.

 

[dolf]

also...when taking a slightly different slant on a subject i think it rather pointless to tack it onto the end of an old thread just because it has some aspects in common with the first post.

i new angle deserves a new thread.

 

[Silverlily]

So you don't want to answer the question? Pass on by and let someone else toss in their 2 cents. If people came here just to read the library we wouldn't have forums. There would be no need other than the look at me threads.

Exactly.

So every thread isn't for every member, so what? If a thread doesn't suit you or you have nothing to add, skip it. There's no rule saying every question must be answered. And should a new member start a thread that is not compatible with this forum or is done in a manner that irritates, let silence send the message. They will adapt to the community or move on.

By the same token, the assumption that every new person will be welcomed like a long lost friend is flawed. Just like any other group, new people have to acclimate. It takes time to build familiarity.

 

[dolf]

By the same token, the assumption that every new person will be welcomed like a long lost friend is flawed. Just like any other group, new people have to acclimate. It takes time to build familiarity.

true...but sometimes people decide to dislike a noob and, it appears, to deliberately hound them off the board. it's very cliquey in here.

think i might go run a poll on the gb to see how many are bdsm people who avoid the bdsm board because of this.

 

[SueJ]

That's my take on it and no, I didn't check the damned library first to see if anyone else posted this statement better.

Oh, Natasha, well done!

 

[WriterDom]

true...but sometimes people decide to dislike a noob and, it appears, to deliberately hound them off the board. it's very cliquey in here.

think i might go run a poll on the gb to see how many are bdsm people who avoid the bdsm board because of this.

All lit boards are cliquey. With the possible exception of the playground. I told a poet friend the poetry board was cliquey. She thinks bdsmers here are snobs. While that might be one reason, I think people could list other reasons as well.

You are going to ask about newbies and cliquey on the GB? That's the funniest thing I've read all day.

 

[Marquis]

does being poorly educated in terms of grammar make there point of view less worthy?

"Their" sweetie.

I think the nudie pics helped.




For the record, I was an iconoclast for a long time on this board (sometimes I almost miss those days). In fact, I was flamed by many of the people that I am now closest to. So I think there is something to say for letting the determined defend their viewpoints rather than being a warm fuzzy message board of "me too"s.

Also, as for people not responding to newbs, it's honestly because newbs don't often make the effort to say anything worthwhile and neither me nor most other people here are going to pander to people while they get their training wheels off. Then again, there seems to be a half-life on posters of a couple years, so without new people we're going to be fucked eventually.

Personally, however, I've made my dislike for the library ushering no secret. Not because of the damage it does to the newbies, but because it keeps the discussion stagnant. Just because YOU'VE discussed it before, what do you care if someone else answers the question?

Now if some newb is in a forum going "Why can't I get any info on blood play!!" then, I say, we pull out the library, but until then, there are plenty of people happy to help and there is a positive net social good in letting them do it. Don't you hate getting automated dialing systems when you call MEGACORP?