What do all of you in sexless marriages do for sex?

[Deadfreak]

Eventually, after too long, I took the Paul Simon route...

 

[StrongMaster7]

What happens when you talk about it?

We rarely talk about sex. She has very little interest and when I bring it up she feels I am criticizing her.

 

[RoanMtn]

We rarely talk about sex. She has very little interest and when I bring it up she feels I am criticizing her.

We haven't talked about, or had sex, in over 20 years. She never had much interest in it.

 

[Britva415]

I would have left if we couldn't even talk about sex.

We can, we just can't have it.

Not with each other, anyway.

 

[Elypep1980]

Can message me for starters

 

[Jay Richards]

We haven't talked about, or had sex, in over 20 years. She never had much interest in it.

Same here. I went through several stages over time. Anger, hate, resentment, acceptance, resignation. I considered divorce due to loss of affection. But she loves me. It was a thing she disliked. I found erotic writing so stimulating--it filled a void. So, I did a lot of jerking off.

 

[ned63]

Im here and getting horny. So my hand knows what to do so I get some sex after that

 

[Lux_Magog]

Well recently, I have been struggling with my sexual frustrations with my partner because we have child now but it's also a combination of timing and interests. So, if I'm alone, I'll watch some porn or fantasize and just jerk off, which tends to help out. We still have sex but weirdly enough it's when she starts feeling insecure about our relationship or something and just wants to have sex to make sure I'm not cheating on her or anything.

Thing is I'm way too much of a fetishist and monogamous to be sleeping around on her, so she definitely has nothing to worry about.

It's more about waiting for when she's in the mood, which fluctuates wildy with her mental health and health issues and can be just a bit tad bit frustrating. Nonetheless I love her and will always do what I can to support her and keep her happy (within reason!).

So, now I'm turning my focus more back to writing which is what I used to but the last few years I've been bottling up, pushing away my sexuality and urges while trying to focus on work and being a parent.

It's just lately, I've developed this one crush at work and it's driving me nuts the way my brain just randomly pops up with all of these new fantasies involving my crush so writing about it helps alot for me with my sexual frustrations and kind slowly kills my infatuation or at least incapciates it temporarily lol.

 

[Jay Richards]

Well recently, I have been struggling with my sexual frustrations with my partner because we have child now but it's also a combination of timing and interests. So, if I'm alone, I'll watch some porn or fantasize and just jerk off, which tends to help out. We still have sex but weirdly enough it's when she starts feeling insecure about our relationship or something and just wants to have sex to make sure I'm not cheating on her or anything.

Thing is I'm way too much of a fetishist and monogamous to be sleeping around on her, so she definitely has nothing to worry about.

It's more about waiting for when she's in the mood, which fluctuates wildy with her mental health and health issues and can be just a bit tad bit frustrating. Nonetheless I love her and will always do what I can to support her and keep her happy (within reason!).

So, now I'm turning my focus more back to writing which is what I used to but the last few years I've been bottling up, pushing away my sexuality and urges while trying to focus on work and being a parent.

It's just lately, I've developed this one crush at work and it's driving me nuts the way my brain just randomly pops up with all of these new fantasies involving my crush so writing about it helps alot for me with my sexual frustrations and kind slowly kills my infatuation or at least incapciates it temporarily lol.

Let me know when you have some pages to read.

 

[RoanMtn]

Same here. I went through several stages over time. Anger, hate, resentment, acceptance, resignation. I considered divorce due to loss of affection. But she loves me. It was a thing she disliked. I found erotic writing so stimulating--it filled a void. So, I did a lot of jerking off.

I write stories myself...just for my own consumption.

 

[LookN2Talk]

My marriage is not sexless, but we have twenty minutes, once a week, with a very limited 'menu'. I would love to have sex every day and wouldlove to try EVERYTHING a man and woman can do together.

So, I watch porn and masturbate every day. I have done so since I was a teen. I don't want to cheat. But I wish things were different.

I know you're not being too snarky. Most of the time she sounds open to the idea, even encouraging. But not always, and when she isn't it sounds like it would jeopardize our marriage. That's the downside.

We rarely talk about sex. She has very little interest and when I bring it up she feels I am criticizing her.

Same here. I went through several stages over time. Anger, hate, resentment, acceptance, resignation. I considered divorce due to loss of affection. But she loves me. It was a thing she disliked. I found erotic writing so stimulating--it filled a void. So, I did a lot of jerking off.

What about sex dolls??? I think I'd go that route. Pick one as close to my wife as possible, get a many as I could afford with different looks of my wife, set up some crazy clone scenarios, call out my wife's name in a many ways as possible, and never hide the fact of having sex all the time with the sex dolls saying very loudly how it takes all the clones of her to satisfy me as much as the one real her. And have at it as much as possible always loudly complimenting my wife. You never know, it might motivate her???

 

[CuriousJBD]

Same here. I went through several stages over time. Anger, hate, resentment, acceptance, resignation. I considered divorce due to loss of affection. But she loves me. It was a thing she disliked. I found erotic writing so stimulating--it filled a void. So, I did a lot of jerking off.

And have spilled and licked up a lot of my cum while reading your stories!!!

 

[strongnsensual]

What about sex dolls??? I think I'd go that route. Pick one as close to my wife as possible, get a many as I could afford with different looks of my wife, set up some crazy clone scenarios, call out my wife's name in a many ways as possible, and never hide the fact of having sex all the time with the sex dolls saying very loudly how it takes all the clones of her to satisfy me as much as the one real her. And have at it as much as possible always loudly complimenting my wife. You never know, it might motivate her???

We've actually talked about that, and neither of us are too psyched with the idea. Besides, we'd need a few extra rooms to house them, and she certainly isn't giving up closet space for their lingerie!

But I like the headspace you're in with the call out her name part!

 

[HampshireBoy]

We rarely talk about sex. She has very little interest and when I bring it up she feels I am criticizing her.

I get that, if I bring it up my wife gets upset, feeling that I'm criticising her along with feeling guilty that she is "failing as a wife". She's quite happy for me to be naked, and says that she enjoys seeing me, just no interest in sex.

She asked me to shaveher pubic hair as she was going for a medical examination, in the past this would have lead to great sex - this time, when I finished it was "thanks, I'd better shower now" followed by "Sorry, I just don't feel like it" when I suggested I kiss her pussy clean

 

[pumperguy191]

Yeah, I am kinda in the same boat. When we first met, she would come home from work at 1 a.m. and jump on top of me. The only reason I objected was that I had to get up for work at 330. After a few years, he instigating became less frequent. Then, it stopped. I got yelled at if I didn't instigate anything, not realizing that she was in the mood. Then, 4 years ago, massive dose of ED, nothing so far has helped. We do find ways to please each other, just not very often.

 

[skitzoid]

I'm in the exact same boat as "HampshireBoy". I'm always naked, inside and out whenever the weather co-operates. She says she enjoys that but never acts on that enjoyment. She, in turm, is naked when she comes down the stairs in the morning, only. Her idea of a happy sex life is giving me a blow job every 2 or 3 months, nothing in between. We do shave each other but that's all. No after affects even tho I've tried. Sex was great when we got married and for many years after ( i'm 73,, she's 63 ) Sex life was winding down, then she went back to school for her RN degree. That was the major downfall. I have offered to do anything she wants, without reservation. I know she's not playing around, just lost all interest. I see no way back.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I’m in a sexless marriage, but I am always supportive if my wife wants to pursue a sexual relationship with another man.

Have her contact me.

 

[TemptationTango]

My marriage isn’t sexless, but it might as well be. I don’t get at all the sex I want and my husband has made it clear he has no interest in anytime more than vanilla sex once, maybe twice a month. I know that some might think it’s better than nothing, but I haven’t had a orgasm with him since before our kids were born and while he is “satisfied” I’m left feeling completely neglected.

I compensate by having a very rich masturbation practice and one time I had a beyond exciting night with another man.

One time only? Why no repeat? My answer after a decade of basically no sex, is a similar situation FWB. We can't meet often, but when we do the mutual sexual tension getting relieved is a raging wildfire.

 

[PennyCleaver]

Many have all already posted that they have sexless marriages ( and I do sincerely hate that anyone has to go through this) so no need to recant it all, what I want to know is what do all of you do for sex?​

​

Masturbate every day as often as possible

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Masturbate every day as often as possible

Same

 

[tallladiesman]

Masturbate every day as often as possible

I think a lot of us do that
It's probably why we are on lit

 

[PennyCleaver]

I think a lot of us do that
It's probably why we are on lit

Yes I guess I did state the obvious lol

 

[Roswellcurious]

Can message me for starters

If only I were so fortunate!

 

[Mtnmike]

My marriage isn’t sexless, but it might as well be. I don’t get at all the sex I want and my husband has made it clear he has no interest in anytime more than vanilla sex once, maybe twice a month. I know that some might think it’s better than nothing, but I haven’t had a orgasm with him since before our kids were born and while he is “satisfied” I’m left feeling completely neglected.

I compensate by having a very rich masturbation practice and one time I had a beyond exciting night with another man.

Feel your pain, wife turned A-Sexual 15 year's ago, if I get relief it's masturbating . Personally can't understand why a man has a willing/wanting wife beside him that he doesn't want to please her anytime she wanted, blow's my mind .

 

[Forrest69]

Lit is a great solace here. We don't just want sex; we want to share our sexuality. Menopause is frequently the problem and not even hrt or/and testosterone necessarily helps. My wife has been promising for years that it will get better but it never does. Not because she doesn't mean it but because it's just not important enough for her. We live in hope but hope deferred maketh the heart sick. Trying to talk about it and negotiating interim measures, halfway activities etc. has limited success because of lack of interest and a feeling of threat. Going to a sex therapist is probably the best option but also requires agreement and willingness. The problem must be wide-spread and it's good to air it. Not easy to deal with the resentment and sense of powerlessness. 'For better for worse' only takes you so far, this being the 'worse', especially if it calls to mind the other promise, probably not heard much these days when the service has been modernized, 'with my body I thee worship'. In any case it can only be good to share ideas. Porn, FWB, going solo, etc. may provide some relief and are probably good for us medically but what we really want is intimacy, self-giving, being wholly present with the other.

RECOMMENDED to infinity and beyond! Expressed my thoughts and feelings and situation as if we collaborated! The absence of intimacy is what is destroying me and my mental health. ..
Wishing the best in your pursuit of greater happiness!