What do you consider to be your hard limits & how have they changed over time?

[RUbensBeautY]

Evolution is fun. I do believe that limits evolve along with our experiences as well and at times along with the desires and sincere interest of a partner. Even some of the hard ones one might have believed unmovable before.

What I still consider hard limits for me include:

* third or more parties involved, whether at the same time or not, so anything that implies a non-monogamous, mutually faithful relationship.

* anything outside of safe, sane, consensually negotiated limits

* permanent bodily harm

* drawing blood by any other way than a hickey ( knives, needles etc.)

* cross dressing - for him - a strong turn off I can't really see myself overcoming in time either.

* scat play, drinking urine. I also had any kind of urine on my list until reading this story: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=31417 a few years ago. Now I think that some play might be a negotiable soft limit in the shower if my partner found that a serious turn on for whatever reason though it doesn't do anything for me sexually. See? Evolution.

* no age/incestuous play for real or as a private mind game

Well, those are the ones that I could think of right now. Looks plenty to me.

 

[Netzach]

I have a low tolerance for messy things. I generally won't do food play, for example. Lots of people like the idea of chocolate syrup or whipped cream from a can, but... ew. Just can't deal. Not a hard limit, I just recognise that I do not want chocolate syrup on me, and I certainly don't want to have to deal with the clean-up in any way. And, forwhatever reason, I am just not turned on by having my girls do that clean-up for me. Just doesn't ring my bell.

OMG, yes.

Totally.

The thought of, like, honey on my neck, for some reason, or anything sticky, sends me into the land that other people think of when they think of a faceful of pee.

I always envision any play involving brown I might engage in to be in the healthy clean outdoors, with a human "pig" rolling in it or something like that. Not in a sweaty loft in Manhattan, which is how it usually goes down, ugh.

 

[Homburg]

OMG, yes.

Totally.

The thought of, like, honey on my neck, for some reason, or anything sticky, sends me into the land that other people think of when they think of a faceful of pee.

I always envision any play involving brown I might engage in to be in the healthy clean outdoors, with a human "pig" rolling in it or something like that. Not in a sweaty loft in Manhattan, which is how it usually goes down, ugh.

*shudder* I'm icked out just reading it. I avoid honey, except in limited situations, and getting any on myself is cause for an immediately cessation of all activities that do not involve furiously scrubbing my hands.

Oddly enough, I don't get quite the same effect when I'm working on cars. Motor oil and engine grime are distasteful but acceptable. They're slimy and greasy and unpleasant, but not actively sticky or tacky. The differential oil is another story. It actively smells like dead dinosaur, and is usually sticky as day old fuck. Urg.

And the pig thing? Well, as I've mentioned, I spent many a summer of my youth on my grandfather's farm. His brother Jimmy lived the next farm over, on the road coming in, and raised pigs. Summer. Pig farm.

Can I just say that some memories are best left unremembered, and the smell that greeted me every goddamned time we arrived at or left the farm is one of those memories.

 

[Netzach]

*shudder* I'm icked out just reading it. I avoid honey, except in limited situations, and getting any on myself is cause for an immediately cessation of all activities that do not involve furiously scrubbing my hands.

Oddly enough, I don't get quite the same effect when I'm working on cars. Motor oil and engine grime are distasteful but acceptable. They're slimy and greasy and unpleasant, but not actively sticky or tacky. The differential oil is another story. It actively smells like dead dinosaur, and is usually sticky as day old fuck. Urg.

And the pig thing? Well, as I've mentioned, I spent many a summer of my youth on my grandfather's farm. His brother Jimmy lived the next farm over, on the road coming in, and raised pigs. Summer. Pig farm.

Can I just say that some memories are best left unremembered, and the smell that greeted me every goddamned time we arrived at or left the farm is one of those memories.

I lived upwind from a hog farm and downwind from a turkey farm for 5 long smalltown MN years. Yep. Makes sense.

 

[LadyC]

I lived upwind from a hog farm and downwind from a turkey farm for 5 long smalltown MN years. Yep. Makes sense.

I'm glad I grew up in the city. I'll take bus and truck exaust over hog and turkey crap.

 

[Homburg]

I lived upwind from a hog farm and downwind from a turkey farm for 5 long smalltown MN years. Yep. Makes sense.

Any kind of poultry farm produces odours that are well and truly magical.

 

[graceanne]

I have a low tolerance for messy things. I generally won't do food play, for example. Lots of people like the idea of chocolate syrup or whipped cream from a can, but... ew. Just can't deal. Not a hard limit, I just recognise that I do not want chocolate syrup on me, and I certainly don't want to have to deal with the clean-up in any way. And, forwhatever reason, I am just not turned on by having my girls do that clean-up for me. Just doesn't ring my bell.

Me, too. I wouldn't call it a hard limit, but getting all sticky wouldn't be a turn on for me. But I HATE being sticky. If I spill something sticky on myself, I'll go out of my way to find somewhere to de-stickify myself.

And to tell the truth, I think K agrees. At least, he's never mentioned food play, or tried it.

 

[taniaaust1]

Im a slave at heart and i have a hard time, a very hard time, saying no to my Dominant, due to that i'd probably be able to be pushed into anything. i've always said that i dont know my hard limits at all... not sure if i have them except just one.. that is not to do certain kinds of harm to another (cause it goes against my spiritual beliefs).

ive been ordered to do some things which have really sickened me a lot. If i didnt have slave mindset and into the TPE, they would certainlly would have been hard limits for me...but cause i cant say no, i've done them anyway (so i guess this makes them not hard limits??? cause i'd do them anyway).

This is very bad going over hard limits in this way as it messes one up emotionally etc. For example.. i had a Dominant who loved to test my obediance.. He ordered me to pee in glass and drink it. i find that thought so so so discusting..but did it anyway, i was gagging and nearly throwing up while i did it. Afterwards i truely psychologically flipped out.. couldnt take it that i'd done it and more so felt abused that He'd told me to do something i couldnt mentally/emotionally handle.. (He then promised me He'd NEVER ask anything like that of me again). (i like didnt have safewords..and would of never said no.. i dont even know if im capable of using a safeword..thou the Dom im with now has told me i can use one).

ive since been ordered to drink a Doms piss... mentally and emotionally i can deal with it now (so i guess ive come a long way since the previous Dom of my past) but i still HATE IT (thou He's told me i should like it.. oh i wish lol). It's more of a punishment thing to me.

i guess if ordered to.. thou i've always said i wouldnt do it.. maybe i would do scat ***completely grossing out at the thought***, im not at all bi (the thought of doing some things with a female make me feel ill) but if ordered, i'd do it.

i dont mind needles, would allow myself to be cut, im in a poly relationship and dont mind that at all, i like cervical play, i love being tied up and i love enclosured spaces (more security in them.. ive got a coffin fascination), i've had oral while on my period and enjoyed getting it etc.... i basically turn myself over to my Dom and do whatever He wants, im see myself as an extention of my Dom.. His limits are basically my own.

(thou i guess it all depends on what one means by limits.. do you mean a hard limit is something one would never do? or that a hard limit is something which is crossed which causes some emotional and psychological damage? ..which could be short or long term.
ive found that i dont know if something is going to be damaging to me, till that point is actually crossed. How does one know if something one hates and which discusts one, is going to cause psychological damage if done unless it's been tried before?). im really confused at all this.

As i dont know where my own safety lays in the SSC ..im reliant on my partners perspective.

One thing which can flip me out is having semen on my body or someone wanking over me (but that is only cause ive had childhood abuse). i still allow it thou (thou at times cant bearly handle that i'd ask them to consider not doing it if they want me to stay stable). umm maybe my limit issue of not having limits is cause i just dont feel like im the one in control..is due to my childhood abuse???? (im going into therapy soon).

(i hope i dont get any flack directed at me for this post).

**heavy post for me to write.. so im going to go and clean up the dungeon **

 

[YourCaptor]

Im a slave at heart and i have a hard time, a very hard time, saying no to my Dominant, due to that i'd probably be able to be pushed into anything. i've always said that i dont know my hard limits at all... not sure if i have them except just one.. that is not to do certain kinds of harm to another (cause it goes against my spiritual beliefs).

ive been ordered to do some things which have really sickened me a lot. If i didnt have slave mindset and into the TPE, they would certainlly would have been hard limits for me...but cause i cant say no, i've done them anyway (so i guess this makes them not hard limits??? cause i'd do them anyway).

This is very bad going over hard limits in this way as it messes one up emotionally etc. For example.. i had a Dominant who loved to test my obediance.. He ordered me to pee in glass and drink it. i find that thought so so so discusting..but did it anyway, i was gagging and nearly throwing up while i did it. Afterwards i truely psychologically flipped out.. couldnt take it that i'd done it and more so felt abused that He'd told me to do something i couldnt mentally/emotionally handle.. (He then promised me He'd NEVER ask anything like that of me again). (i like didnt have safewords..and would of never said no.. i dont even know if im capable of using a safeword..thou the Dom im with now has told me i can use one).

ive since been ordered to drink a Doms piss... mentally and emotionally i can deal with it now (so i guess ive come a long way since the previous Dom of my past) but i still HATE IT (thou He's told me i should like it.. oh i wish lol). It's more of a punishment thing to me.

i guess if ordered to.. thou i've always said i wouldnt do it.. maybe i would do scat ***completely grossing out at the thought***, im not at all bi (the thought of doing some things with a female make me feel ill) but if ordered, i'd do it.

i dont mind needles, would allow myself to be cut, im in a poly relationship and dont mind that at all, i like cervical play, i love being tied up and i love enclosured spaces (more security in them.. ive got a coffin fascination), i've had oral while on my period and enjoyed getting it etc.... i basically turn myself over to my Dom and do whatever He wants, im see myself as an extention of my Dom.. His limits are basically my own.

(thou i guess it all depends on what one means by limits.. do you mean a hard limit is something one would never do? or that a hard limit is something which is crossed which causes some emotional and psychological damage? ..which could be short or long term.
ive found that i dont know if something is going to be damaging to me, till that point is actually crossed. How does one know if something one hates and which discusts one, is going to cause psychological damage if done unless it's been tried before?). im really confused at all this.

As i dont know where my own safety lays in the SSC ..im reliant on my partners perspective.

One thing which can flip me out is having semen on my body or someone wanking over me (but that is only cause ive had childhood abuse). i still allow it thou (thou at times cant bearly handle that i'd ask them to consider not doing it if they want me to stay stable). umm maybe my limit issue of not having limits is cause i just dont feel like im the one in control..is due to my childhood abuse???? (im going into therapy soon).

(i hope i dont get any flack directed at me for this post).

**heavy post for me to write.. so im going to go and clean up the dungeon **

I have come across a few like you, the totally indecisive kind.

Hard limits are things that we consider wrong to do, or things that cause us so much discomfort that we don’t want to do them. For example in your case somebody cuming onto your body. I imagine you also consider sex with children to be wrong, therefore that would be another of your hard limits.

Try thinking about it similarly to how you decide if something tastes good or bad. Sure you could eat it all, but you still know if you like the flavor or not.

Hard limits are different from soft limits because you are fairly certain you can never grow to like them. Soft limits being those things you could come to like, but do not enjoy at the moment.

 

[FurryFury]

<snip>(thou i guess it all depends on what one means by limits.. do you mean a hard limit is something one would never do? or that a hard limit is something which is crossed which causes some emotional and psychological damage? ..which could be short or long term.
ive found that i dont know if something is going to be damaging to me, till that point is actually crossed. How does one know if something one hates and which discusts one, is going to cause psychological damage if done unless it's been tried before?). im really confused at all this.

As i dont know where my own safety lays in the SSC ..im reliant on my partners perspective.

One thing which can flip me out is having semen on my body or someone wanking over me (but that is only cause ive had childhood abuse). i still allow it thou (thou at times cant bearly handle that i'd ask them to consider not doing it if they want me to stay stable). umm maybe my limit issue of not having limits is cause i just dont feel like im the one in control..is due to my childhood abuse???? (im going into therapy soon).

(i hope i dont get any flack directed at me for this post).

**heavy post for me to write.. so im going to go and clean up the dungeon **

This last part, to my way of thinking, is the heart of the matter.

It might be that you only have that one hard limit and all the others should be listed under soft. The mention that you might become unstable should be made IMO. Failing to communicate as well as you possibly can, will sometimes harm not just you but the people around you who care for you the most.

Of course it's hard to say what your reaction might be to some things you've never tried. Still if you find it disgusting that should be something the people you have scenes with be aware of. Even more so if you "hate" the idea of something.

*hug*

 

[Anne_Prospere]

i had a couple hard limits at the beginning of this year that are no longer limits..

i dont know how i feel about it, I'm a little torn between feeling tainted and kind of bad ass.

its like Im always losing more of my virginity. Part of me is like dag, eventually Im not going to have any more first times.

i kind of want some of those first times back now, and i wonder how i'll feel about it into my later years. Maybe it'll be one of those silly little things that only little girls worry about.

we shall see.

as far as my own limits? ca-ca, um, death? (and all of those animal, children etc's mentioned above.)
I dont really like public humiliation but it's not a hard limit.
nothing in my cervix please.
or my urethra.
men under 5'8 are a hard limit...

that might be all

 

[eyreSN]

I agree with many of the comments on this thread. When I first explored this lifestyle there where so many things I never thought I would be into. I'm not sure if its a matter of self exploration or becoming desensitized to kink, but I have fewer limmits as I progress. I'm sure we all have our few set hard limmits reguarding legality, however I'm still so inexperianced that my limmits are written in pencil. Like others have said it depends on the relationship and level of trust.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Im a slave at heart and i have a hard time, a very hard time, saying no to my Dominant, due to that i'd probably be able to be pushed into anything. i've always said that i dont know my hard limits at all... not sure if i have them except just one.. that is not to do certain kinds of harm to another (cause it goes against my spiritual beliefs).

ive been ordered to do some things which have really sickened me a lot. If i didnt have slave mindset and into the TPE, they would certainlly would have been hard limits for me...but cause i cant say no, i've done them anyway (so i guess this makes them not hard limits??? cause i'd do them anyway).

This is very bad going over hard limits in this way as it messes one up emotionally etc. For example.. i had a Dominant who loved to test my obediance.. He ordered me to pee in glass and drink it. i find that thought so so so discusting..but did it anyway, i was gagging and nearly throwing up while i did it. Afterwards i truely psychologically flipped out.. couldnt take it that i'd done it and more so felt abused that He'd told me to do something i couldnt mentally/emotionally handle.. (He then promised me He'd NEVER ask anything like that of me again). (i like didnt have safewords..and would of never said no.. i dont even know if im capable of using a safeword..thou the Dom im with now has told me i can use one).

ive since been ordered to drink a Doms piss... mentally and emotionally i can deal with it now (so i guess ive come a long way since the previous Dom of my past) but i still HATE IT (thou He's told me i should like it.. oh i wish lol). It's more of a punishment thing to me.

i guess if ordered to.. thou i've always said i wouldnt do it.. maybe i would do scat ***completely grossing out at the thought***, im not at all bi (the thought of doing some things with a female make me feel ill) but if ordered, i'd do it.

i dont mind needles, would allow myself to be cut, im in a poly relationship and dont mind that at all, i like cervical play, i love being tied up and i love enclosured spaces (more security in them.. ive got a coffin fascination), i've had oral while on my period and enjoyed getting it etc.... i basically turn myself over to my Dom and do whatever He wants, im see myself as an extention of my Dom.. His limits are basically my own.

(thou i guess it all depends on what one means by limits.. do you mean a hard limit is something one would never do? or that a hard limit is something which is crossed which causes some emotional and psychological damage? ..which could be short or long term.
ive found that i dont know if something is going to be damaging to me, till that point is actually crossed. How does one know if something one hates and which discusts one, is going to cause psychological damage if done unless it's been tried before?). im really confused at all this.

As i dont know where my own safety lays in the SSC ..im reliant on my partners perspective.

One thing which can flip me out is having semen on my body or someone wanking over me (but that is only cause ive had childhood abuse). i still allow it thou (thou at times cant bearly handle that i'd ask them to consider not doing it if they want me to stay stable). umm maybe my limit issue of not having limits is cause i just dont feel like im the one in control..is due to my childhood abuse???? (im going into therapy soon).

(i hope i dont get any flack directed at me for this post).

**heavy post for me to write.. so im going to go and clean up the dungeon **

hi tania, welcome to the boards.

there are different ideas of exactly what defines something as a "hard limit" as you've seen here from the varying responses on this thread. my own definition of a hard limit is something that a person would absolutely REFUSE to do or be subjected to. something that would bring out that powerful two letter word "NO!" that's a hard limit imo.

as a slave, of course i have no right to refuse anything my Master wishes, and also, unlike a free person, my body and choices are no longer my own so i have no right to place conditions upon them. therefore i can have no hard limits.

you sound very similar to myself, in that it would be difficult, if not impossible, for you to refuse something that someone wished or demanded of you under any circumstance, slave or not. yet of course there are still those things that you hate, that take you to a very dark place and that if you had the power over such things, you'd choose to never be subjected to. i have those things as well, but because they would still happen, i would still do them, they cannot be considered limits.

then there are what i call limitations. things that, either because of physical or mental limitations would be impossible for you to do...like maybe lift an SUV or kill a child and eat their brains. we all have limitations, but we don't all have limits.

 

[Homburg]

hi tania, welcome to the boards.

there are different ideas of exactly what defines something as a "hard limit" as you've seen here from the varying responses on this thread. my own definition of a hard limit is something that a person would absolutely REFUSE to do or be subjected to. something that would bring out that powerful two letter word "NO!" that's a hard limit imo.

as a slave, of course i have no right to refuse anything my Master wishes, and also, unlike a free person, my body and choices are no longer my own so i have no right to place conditions upon them. therefore i can have no hard limits.

you sound very similar to myself, in that it would be difficult, if not impossible, for you to refuse something that someone wished or demanded of you under any circumstance, slave or not. yet of course there are still those things that you hate, that take you to a very dark place and that if you had the power over such things, you'd choose to never be subjected to. i have those things as well, but because they would still happen, i would still do them, they cannot be considered limits.

then there are what i call limitations. things that, either because of physical or mental limitations would be impossible for you to do...like maybe lift an SUV or kill a child and eat their brains. we all have limitations, but we don't all have limits.

This is an excellent post, especially the final paragraph.

 

[intothewoods]

Limits and limitations mean essentially the same thing. I can see the desire to seve is so strong, you don't want to say there is anything you won't do. If it makes you feel better to call it a limitation, well okay then. But you are human, you know.

 

[TerragonSix]

Well.. Let me think.

Number one on the list is scat/urine play. I have to deal with that enough at work, and I don't want to associate that with my fun time.

Fire play
Knife play
Extended strangulation
(Those are just a few, I'm writing this off the top of my head of course.)

On the shade of grey:
Possible shock play
Possible caning

They really haven't changed much. If anything, I might have gotten more hard limits, rather than less.

I'm not a 24/7 person, I just like to keep it within reason, and fun.

 

[kittenartist]

Interesting -- this is a topic that has been on my mind recently.

I am finding myself with less and less limits. And I did not have many to begin with so it is strange. My previous limits seem to have been in place due to shame and now days I am just not ashamed. Things like golden showers no longer hide in the realm of hard limits. I believe it was only there to avoid ridicule.

I believe the change in my limits is finding my perfect partner. My beautiful boy who is letting his own limits melt away to embrace my desires. We both recently relented in major hard limits. For me, the limit was monogamy. I have been polyamorous for as long as I have had relationships -- I just did not understand monogamy. Now I do and that limit is meaningless. Not exactly kinky My boy recently told me he is willing to indulge my craving for blood play. Something he has been against from the beginning and a limit I never pushed -- I never hid that is arouses me but I never asked him to break his limit. And then, suddenly, it is offered up out of the blue. I was touched.

I believe love and trust is what makes our limits less important. Granted, we still have a few hard limits in play for moral/safety reasons. And there are certainly things we just do not fancy. But we are finding hard limits are, well, limiting

 

[unfoundiamond]

nice thread...

On HARD limits... Id say that the things I won't do I wouldn't do before...

No shit. No innocents.

The man/woman who changes my mind on shit will be truly persuasive... (a person so immaculate must not exist...lol)

Id say that a dominant that could say break me of resisting to the things I struggle with would have would have to be really fucking persuasive...
Like I have a preffrence that's no hands stuck suspended and bound above my head...

But there's no change in my limits...

I think hard limits shouldn't change. If they are hard limits, if they are just things you don't know if you'd like but sound scarey that's not a limit. Its more like repressed interest... to me.

 

[proserpinechance]

Hard limit that I can see will never change: scat, rainbow, anal fisting (and all the not SSC stuff).
Hard limit that might change only under incredible circumstances: needle play, play piercing, cutting, blood
Hard limit that might be challenged by the right person: water sport

Funnily enough, my list is identical to yours in every way! Yep, that's me too

 

[ownedsubgal]

Limits and limitations mean essentially the same thing. I can see the desire to seve is so strong, you don't want to say there is anything you won't do. If it makes you feel better to call it a limitation, well okay then. But you are human, you know.

i don't believe it's a matter of it making a person feel better to refer to something as a limitation rather than a limit. there's no shame or disgrace in having a limit and sticking by it. but there is this assumption by many that we all have limits, and that those of us who claim not to are living in some delusional fairy land, which is just not the case.

there is absolutely nothing that would ever cause me to refuse my Master. there is nothing that would cause me to say no or even to mentally reject him or his will. that does not mean that every order is followed easy breezy, mindlessly like an automaton, it just means that for me, in this union, resistance is just not an option. no matter what the command, my place as well as my first instinct is to immediately move to obey. however if he commanded the impossible (i.e. lift the truck), i would fail to succeed. this is a limitation. but because i would still put my whole heart and will into the trying, it is not a limit.

 

[desertslave]

Years ago, when I was first introduced to the lifestyle, limits were explained to me, but my experience was so, well, limited that I wasn't very well able to express much on my own. I ended up doing some things which I found to be disagreeable but found it very difficult to refuse much of the time.

Flash forward. When Master and I first met online we had some reasonably detailed discussions about likes, dislikes, wants, needs and limits. We found a strong commonality on our most hard limits: as we like to call them, no kids, crap, critters or corpses. To a certain degree it's about legality, safety and common sense, though I completely understand that all of that can be negotiable depending on location (and overriding desires).

I suspect that I have fewer hard limits than he does. In part it's because I've experienced more things and have evolved into a sort of tolerance. In part, it's because he can put me into a mindset (or lack thereof LOL) where I'm eager and willing to do pretty much whatever he asks. My sense of self-preservation goes out the window. That's the place where I have to trust him because I can no longer trust myself. It's taken a while to get there, and yet it happened sooner than I would have expected. I place myself in his hands and trust him to care for me and take care of me. I also trust that he's not a nutjob so it's unlikely that he would do anything that would ultimately bring me harm. The times when we have ventured off onto the edges, we've discussed it pretty well before and after.

I am his because I know he won't break his favorite toy.

 

[intothewoods]

i don't believe it's a matter of it making a person feel better to refer to something as a limitation rather than a limit. there's no shame or disgrace in having a limit and sticking by it. but there is this assumption by many that we all have limits, and that those of us who claim not to are living in some delusional fairy land, which is just not the case.

there is absolutely nothing that would ever cause me to refuse my Master. there is nothing that would cause me to say no or even to mentally reject him or his will. that does not mean that every order is followed easy breezy, mindlessly like an automaton, it just means that for me, in this union, resistance is just not an option. no matter what the command, my place as well as my first instinct is to immediately move to obey. however if he commanded the impossible (i.e. lift the truck), i would fail to succeed. this is a limitation. but because i would still put my whole heart and will into the trying, it is not a limit.

I get it. It's a physical limitation and not a mental one. I still think it's a limit.

But hey, I spent an hour arguing with Mister Man over the meaning of "ivy league." I get my panties in a bunch over definitions, it seems.

 

[Homburg]

I get it. It's a physical limitation and not a mental one. I still think it's a limit.

But hey, I spent an hour arguing with Mister Man over the meaning of "ivy league." I get my panties in a bunch over definitions, it seems.

Definitions are understandably important for you.

That said, "limit" and "limitation" are very similar words, but bear a different semantic load. Limitation, in my mind, implies some sort of hard restriction. If I have two broken ankles and cannot walk, it is a limitation. If I can walk, but choose not to, I have set a limit myself. Not hard definitonal arguments, of course, but more examining it from a relational standpoint.

 

[intothewoods]

Definitions are understandably important for you.

Oh, because of that uber dork thing?

That said, "limit" and "limitation" are very similar words, but bear a different semantic load. Limitation, in my mind, implies some sort of hard restriction. If I have two broken ankles and cannot walk, it is a limitation. If I can walk, but choose not to, I have set a limit myself. Not hard definitonal arguments, of course, but more examining it from a relational standpoint.

It seems to me the semantic load is only there because "limit" has its own meaning in the bdsm community. Some of these bdsm terms take on a life of their own, and then people feel beholden to them. And I guess that's my point by saying they mean the same thing. I'd rather demystify stuff like "sub space" and define our terms.

 

[Homburg]

Oh, because of that uber dork thing?

I was thinking more because of the anal retentive thing.



I kid! I kid!

It seems to me the semantic load is only there because "limit" has its own meaning in the bdsm community. Some of these bdsm terms take on a life of their own, and then people feel beholden to them. And I guess that's my point by saying they mean the same thing. I'd rather demystify stuff like "sub space" and define our terms.

Not to me. I use those words differently. Then again, I'm in the insurance field, and "limits" and "limitations" are two utterly different animals in that field. Contract language usually uses those terms in different ways as well. In short, I do not see them as synonymous, merely similar, and interchangable in certain, er, limited areas.