What do you consider to be your hard limits & how have they changed over time?

[Bill3250]

My limits are whatever m'Lady permits.

 

[FurryFury]

It's ironic. I've found that if you let any human being know your limits and if they do not agree, most will typically and systematically work at chiseling away at those limits.

 

[Kintrub]

I used to draw the age line at my own children's ages. I swore I wouldn't have sex with anyone my oldest's age (or younger).

I have now crossed that line AND that of my second oldest's.

(all legal consenting adult aged, btw)

 

[intothewoods]

They really haven't changed much. No pee or poo. I suppose someone could pee on me and it would be fine. But no drinking it. Anyway, Mister Man isn't into it, so it really doesn't matter. No kids or animals - obvious.

Mister Man is not into all that much really. I'd try needles, and probably will at some point, but he could care less. He's really a rope bondage and spanking kind of guy, rough sex and likes to call the shots. That's about it.

ETA: Oh yeah - of course, no outing or activity which would interfere with my being a mom. That goes without saying.

OOh, good bump. My post was in June, so I guess things haven't changed all that much.

Not that this has been tested, but a hard limit for me would be anything in public, outside of a kink party. Also, if I get the sense that you are out of control needy or crazy, I won't play with you. I'm really hardcore about that, probably overly cautious. Some people just give me the impression that they are more trouble than they're worth, so I'll just skip it.

 

[BiBunny]

Meh, they mostly depend on the person.

My general rule is that I won't do to others things I won't allow to be done to me. Well, except CBT stuff, for obvious reasons. Other than that, the four Cs, rainbow, and any of that stuff that I'm either not qualified to do (like sounding, though I want to learn) or things I don't consider to be SM.

Oh, and incidentally, I do a lot of shit that falls on the not-necessarily-safe, not-necessarily-sane side of the scale, but I always go for the consent part.

Haha. I can mark a couple of these off the list now.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

OOh, good bump. My post was in June, so I guess things haven't changed all that much.

Not that this has been tested, but a hard limit for me would be anything in public, outside of a kink party. Also, if I get the sense that you are out of control needy or crazy, I won't play with you. I'm really hardcore about that, probably overly cautious. Some people just give me the impression that they are more trouble than they're worth, so I'll just skip it.

You know... I do needleplay. And I am SOOOO not out of control...

 

[intothewoods]

You know... I do needleplay. And I am SOOOO not out of control...

Heh heh. I do needleplay too now! Ok, I tried it once. It was really awesome.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Sweet! Gimme a shout if you want to try it again.

 

[intothewoods]

Sweet! Gimme a shout if you want to try it again.

Except for that whole distance thing. And I should probably meet someone before they stick sharp pointy things in me.

 

[LadyC]

I was once quite subservient and would allow a love to use me as he wish; NOW, I must be totally in control, dominating every aspect of my relationships.

 

[NervousGuy]

The hard limits for me are the Four C's. Cell popping, needle play, blood letting, or anything to do with something that has a sharp blade on it. Probably because of the fact that while I am not afraid of getting stuff done at hospitals, I'm afraid of doing it to myself or anyone outside of a "hospital" atmosphere do it to me. Don't know why.

Also, any body fluids that dosn't result from an orgasm. I do like some pain though, biting is fun, paddles, flogs ect. Anything serious though I would need someone to indoctrinate me into slowly. Also I don't really like any anal play being done to me, it dosn't make me feel gay and I'm not homophobic or anything, I'm just uncomfortable with it, so I guess upon further consideration, its really not a hard line thing. Not really. Uhm, I'll post anything more that I can think of. Discuss whatever later if anyone shows up tonight.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Shattered Illusions

When i first came here i had the very naive little girl idea that i could give everything to someone; that i had no limits. i was worried about who to submit to because i knew once i did the floodgates would open. BD found me and i submitted. i did one extreme thing after another, offering almost no resistance. It was so important to me to do EVERYTHING he asked. He let me keep my illusions for awhile but then i accidentally hurt him. He then escalated very quickly until i could no longer keep up and was shown that i could not, in fact, do everything He asked.

i wanted to believe my surrender was total. Went to great lengths to prove it. He forced me to see it was not and never could be.

Daddy wants me to believe again. i want to believe again. i want to believe i would do anything to please Him.

 

[LadyC]

When i first came here i had the very naive little girl idea that i could give everything to someone; that i had no limits. i was worried about who to submit to because i knew once i did the floodgates would open. BD found me and i submitted. i did one extreme thing after another, offering almost no resistance. It was so important to me to do EVERYTHING he asked. He let me keep my illusions for awhile but then i accidentally hurt him. He then escalated very quickly until i could no longer keep up and was shown that i could not, in fact, do everything He asked.

i wanted to believe my surrender was total. Went to great lengths to prove it. He forced me to see it was not and never could be.

Daddy wants me to believe again. i want to believe again. i want to believe i would do anything to please Him.

Maybe you should consider a dominant woman, someone who knows exactly how to punish you when you are naughty, how to reward you when you are nice, and does not hold a grudge. Want to hear more? PM me, darling.

 

[Puman]

mmm... think mine are still the same... The four "c's" still apply... no face slapping and no golden shower stuff.
Other than that I'll try something at least once before I make up mind...

 

[VelvetDarkness]

mmm... think mine are still the same... The four "c's" still apply... no face slapping and no golden shower stuff.
Other than that I'll try something at least once before I make up mind...

Which 4 C's is everyone referring to? I'm guessing 'choking' 'crap/scat' are 2 of them?

 

[rida]

Which 4 C's is everyone referring to? I'm guessing 'choking' 'crap/scat' are 2 of them?

Corpse, Children, Critters/animals, Crap/scat


interestingly I noticed that choking is rarely mentioned as a hard limit ....

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Corpse, Children, Critters/animals, Crap/scat


interestingly I noticed that choking is rarely mentioned as a hard limit ....

True. Master and I used to enjoy choking but as I'm epileptic, cutting off the blood supply to my brain is just too much of a gamble.

*sigh*

He does put his hands around my throat, but it's just not the same.

 

[Bandit58]

Originally Posted by rida
Corpse, Children, Critters/animals, Crap/scat


interestingly I noticed that choking is rarely mentioned as a hard limit ....

All of the above I consider hard limits, including choking. I have a fear of being unable to breathe, which comes from a near drowning as a child. However I do enjoy a good mouth/throat fuck, but we have a safe signal in place which has always been respected, and He seems to be able to read when I need a breath anyway No hands around the throat though.

Face slapping. Too close to abusive, for both of us.

Blood and needles. Because He is on dialysis at home, we see way too much blood and too many needles in keeping Him alive, so prefer to leave those out of play.

Knives - again with the blood, so no.
Also whipping, spanking, caning etc to the point of severe bruising or drawing blood.

I used to draw the age line at my own children's ages. I swore I wouldn't have sex with anyone my oldest's age (or younger).

I have now crossed that line AND that of my second oldest's.

(all legal consenting adult aged, btw)

I have a feeling that line isn't going to be crossed for me. My oldest is 25, my youngest is 20. I'm 50. I prefer anyone I'm going to be intimate with to be over 35, absolute bottom age is 30 and even that has a squick factor. Sir doesn't mind anyone's age as long as they're legal

 

[lesjongleur]

limits

Mine are nothing that will leave a permanate mark ( tatoos are the exception)
and the usuall Im also not ready to try electro.

 

[camelotak]

When i first came here i had the very naive little girl idea that i could give everything to someone; that i had no limits. i was worried about who to submit to because i knew once i did the floodgates would open. BD found me and i submitted. i did one extreme thing after another, offering almost no resistance. It was so important to me to do EVERYTHING he asked. He let me keep my illusions for awhile but then i accidentally hurt him. He then escalated very quickly until i could no longer keep up and was shown that i could not, in fact, do everything He asked.

i wanted to believe my surrender was total. Went to great lengths to prove it. He forced me to see it was not and never could be.

Daddy wants me to believe again. i want to believe again. i want to believe i would do anything to please Him.

I'm filled with a bit of wonderment about this. You say that it never could be total surrender and then in the next sentence you say you want to believe you can. I'm curious if something has changed between BD and your current daddy? Has there been a significant change in your life that would allow you to fully surrender to your daddy? If there hasn't then I fear you are setting yourself up to be unsuccessful again.

Total surrender means that nothing and noone else in the world matters and you can totally give 100% of yourself to that person. Can you honestly say that things have changed enough in your life that you can now give 100% of yourself to someone without holding back anything?

For you to truly do that it doesn't matter what they ask, it only matters what you are willing to give.

I just don't want to see you fall into the same issue that you say you ran into before. Sometimes the worst lies are the lies we tell to ourselves.

 

[sterculius]

Although I am not personally an aficionado of BDSM play, (not that there's anything wrong with it) I've been following this thread with curious interest. I assume that the proscriptions against incest, underage play and bestiality refer to their nonconsentual implications. But I have read posts written by people who have experienced incest or have had sex with older partners when they themselves were minors, and did not consider the event to have been traumatic, and I assume that most of you have had a dog try to hump your leg. Don't misunderstand, I'm not arguing in favor of such practices, I'm just wondering if they are ever permissible, their illegality notwithstanding.

 

[Netzach]

The older I get the longer it gets:

Going without coffee
Jokes about me and Sarah Palin gettin' it on in some fashion
outdoor events with lots of bugs

 

[Netzach]

Non-silicone insertables - if I can smell the plastic a mile off I'm not sticking that in anyone's holes

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Although I am not personally an aficionado of BDSM play, (not that there's anything wrong with it) I've been following this thread with curious interest. I assume that the proscriptions against incest, underage play and bestiality refer to their nonconsentual implications. But I have read posts written by people who have experienced incest or have had sex with older partners when they themselves were minors, and did not consider the event to have been traumatic, and I assume that most of you have had a dog try to hump your leg. Don't misunderstand, I'm not arguing in favor of such practices, I'm just wondering if they are ever permissible, their illegality notwithstanding.

Every rule will always have its exceptions and it's important to remember why laws are in place rather than scream 'no fair' because you want to break one. The laws have to best serve the majority. There are a small percentage of minors who could consent to sex, be responsible about using protection and not regret the experience in years to come. The law is there to guard against paedophile sexual predators and to set a benchmark for maturity - as with drinking and driving (no, not at the same time.)

Incest laws have been in place (in the UK at least) for centuries. They were put in place to prevent close relatives from reproducing because in genetic terms, it's a very bad idea. No matter how distasteful it may be to some, there is no harm in consenting adult close relatives from having sex per se, only in them producing children.

When it comes to animals, some argue that when an animal is penetrated, it's abuse but that if an animal is doing the penetrating, it's less abusive. Nobody can really say to what degree a donkey might enjoy fucking a crack whore but it doesn't exactly constitute good husbandry. YMMV.

 

[BiBunny]

Non-silicone insertables - if I can smell the plastic a mile off I'm not sticking that in anyone's holes

I recently converted to this one myself. I my silicone toys now.