Why do women like anal sex?

[lustatsea]

Does anyone orgasm just with anal? Like no touching pussy at all, just anal?

My wife does occasionally. At the right angle, my cock or a toy hits a spot that starts her pussy drooling and squirting. She says she's a big fan of her anal orgasms.

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

So I have been with a few ladies. In MY experience anal is a no go. Maybe we tried a it was painful, some we did it but wasn’t interested after that. Only 2 have enjoyed it. Only 1 of those was it a common occurrence the other one enjoyed it but said it was painful going in so I never pushed the topic. But if she drank too much she would want to. I would tell her no, in my opinion it’s not real fair to take advantage. After a couple of times of me turning her down she talked to me (while sober) explaining she wanted to and that it was ok. So every once in a while we would. BUT end of the night, no prep, hammered, microwave bar food eating anal not the best. I’m just sayin.

 

[Britva415]

An abuser doesn't have to have the intent to harm or the awareness that they are harming.

And I speak for myself lol can I not have opinions on a thing that I'm not apart of?

But you haven't been clearly just speaking for yourself. You've been appearing to label every anal sex haver as an abuser or as abused. You've been appearing to label all anal sex as harmful.

That's why you're getting push-back.

If you want to roll it back and make real good and clear that you're not projecting harm and abuse onto other people, onto the exact very same ones who are telling you they don't experience what you say is happening, only to see you say back to them that they're wrong, then you're free to go ahead and roll it back.

You can have opinions. But when the person you have the opinion about tells you you're uninformed and wrong about it, I don't know why you'd double down instead of believing them.

 

[Britva415]

you're uninformed and wrong about it

#inb4 ❝No THEY'RE wrong❞

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

Well in a more extreme example, a person who prefaces a racist comment with the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." might still very well be racist. Just because a person says a thing isn't a thing, doesn't mean it's not that thing.

Your wife can say there is no power dynamic but there is a power dynamic whenever you interact with a person. Factors of age, wealth and status always, no matter what, play a role in the way you interact with people in the world.

And my point is that submission in any case is degrading to varying degrees. And I don't think degradation and submission is inherently bad either. Just that when one person puts themselves in a dominant position of control over another, they are raising their profile while reducing the other's.

You just said no one can be equal because there is always a power dynamic whenever you interact with another person.

 

[mousberry]

But you haven't been clearly just speaking for yourself. You've been appearing to label every anal sex haver as an abuser or as abused. You've been appearing to label all anal sex as harmful.

No, I didn't say that.

You can roll it back and reread the thread because I'm not going to repeat myself.

You just said no one can be equal because there is always a power dynamic whenever you interact with another person.

Correct. Life isn't fair!

 

[Mrs_and_mr]

No, I didn't say that.

You can roll it back and reread the thread because I'm not going to repeat myself.


Correct. Life isn't fair!

I’m sorry you feel that way. You don’t always have to win because it’s not always game. Usually people who feel that way are trying to fill some void in themselves that’s insatiable. You will always loose looking at things that way. Thats sad. How isn’t life fair.

 

[Pavlovsdog6862]

You have nerves all over your body. The existence of nerves in and around the anus doesn't demand that it be seen as a sexual organ. The sexual pleasure is projected by the imagination, which involves some level of submission and domination.


A person larger than you with more muscles has more power than you. I believe everyone should be treated equally too but real life doesn't always play out that way.

Nope I don’t allow anyone to have power over me I could care less there size weather they have a gun a bomb whatever

 

[tristantrotsky]

Mmmmm can i join? I'd love tongue on my pussy too

Don't be greedy, RealNiceGirl, I've already had my tongue deep inside your pussy...

 

[tristantrotsky]

Does anyone orgasm just with anal? Like no touching pussy at all, just anal?

Even when I'm taking you anally, Lily, I'm overwhelmingly tempted to give your pussy some attention too. It seems unfair to neglect such a beautiful pussy.
Does that invalidate your question...?

 

[LMWM321]

But you haven't been clearly just speaking for yourself. You've been appearing to label every anal sex haver as an abuser or as abused. You've been appearing to label all anal sex as harmful.

That's why you're getting push-back.

If you want to roll it back and make real good and clear that you're not projecting harm and abuse onto other people, onto the exact very same ones who are telling you they don't experience what you say is happening, only to see you say back to them that they're wrong, then you're free to go ahead and roll it back.

You can have opinions. But when the person you have the opinion about tells you you're uninformed and wrong about it, I don't know why you'd double down instead of believing them.

well said.

@mousberry is a bully and a sexuality bigot. ..And certainly NOT a feminist as no feminist would tell all women who enjoy anal sex that they are essentially too dumb to know that they are being degraded.

@mousberry... Please don't set your career sights on becoming a sex therapist or a sex educator.

 

[mousberry]

well said.

@mousberry is a bully and a sexual bigot. ..And certainly NOT a feminist as no feminist would tell all women who enjoy anal sex that they are essentially too dumb to know that they are being degraded.

Water off a duck's back. Some men really can't stand having a woman disagree with them. If you don't agree with me, that's fine, but if you're going to continue posting in this thread, I'd prefer you to actually contribute to the discussion rather than throw around these childish names.

And I certainly won't let a man define for me what feminism is.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

Erm I don't much care if they don't take kindly to it lol. I don't take kindly to men pretending their desire to perforate the anuses of women is some benevolent quest to generously donate their pleasure to the gentler sex.

Just to be clear because there is risk of someone misinterpreting, I don't think there is any issue as long as all parties are consenting but to pretend it's anything other than an expression of domination is dishonest and quite frankly manipulative.

Loud and clear that this isn't for you.

These are my experiences-

I have never done anything with a woman's anus without her asking me to do so.

I have offered, do you want to try this experience with me, one time, for each woman I've been with. If they are curious.

Most said no, just over half. I never asked again.
Many said yes, and I did exactly what she asked and she controlled the entire experience. I never asked again.

Every woman who tried it with me once, asked for it again, on her own. It wasn't every day, for some, it was once a year.

I never insisted or asked or reminded. She wanted to do so, in each case.

I vividly remember an evening where my lady rammed herself into me for the better part of two hours, while playing with herself at times, other times, just enjoying the experience and telling me how wild it was in her opinion.

I never took on a dominant posture when doing this- I let her control the pace, depth, positioning. She guided me in each time. Whatever was happening, was 100 percent voluntary and she was doing it to herself.

I never asked for the experience to repeat. I never begged. It was an option, if she voluntarily wanted it.

Similar to having my penis sucked- I do not ask or beg, I do not force or assume. If she wants to do this, I am available.

If she never ever ever wants my penis in her mouth, it never happens.

I have had entire years long relationships where she did not give me oral sex. This is fine.

I feel your personal tastes and potentially bad experiences particularly with men have made you believe that any person with a penis only wants to hurt you.

And I fully empathize with that, having been abused my whole life by men, this and my orientation being toward women, is why I do not date men.

I was abused from childhood by a drunk stepfather, beaten with a belt, verbally abused, assaulted in school. I was stabbed by a psychopath child in fifth grade who couldn't even explain why he stabbed me.

As a result, almost by rule, I have zero male friends.

I do not trust heterosexual men. Gay men have never harmed me to my knowledge but I don't discount the possibility, and I don't know their orientation, so I never ask.

All I am saying is that, you may have written off the entire gender as abusive. I know, because that is my personal fear, and I was assigned that same gender at birth.

However, you misrepresent the intentions of all penis having individuals with the above analysis.

I'm sorry, it's absolutely false in my case. I've never harmed a woman or abused her anally. It's always been 100 percent her fully voluntary position with zero coercion or manipulation or even me asking her repeatedly for this. If she doesn't want it, it never happens, and I always tell my girlfriends this.

Because of this stance, they tend to trust me with their first time experience, and that experience leads to wanting more, and if it doesn't, that would be a first, and also, not an issue, ever.

I know, you don't know me, my experiences probably don't count.

You see this as an extension of the patriarchy which absolutely exists and toxic male sadistic domination of women, which, I fully agree, is abundant in our culture. Repulsive. Disturbing, even.

But, in your haste to point out truths, you made a mistake, I feel.

Not all women feel the way you do, and not all of their penis having partners, have a sadistic streak in them.

I used to believe I was a submissive because I refuse to have anything to do with sadomasochism or any kind of sexual act my partner doesn't want to have.

However, I cannot be categorized that way, as I tend to take control. i'm a dominant and that's what I do.

Even so, specifically with the act of anal sex, I've never done anything dominant. I don't bind, I don't command, I don't control, I don't even set the pace, I barely thrust unless she tells me to.

I am basically her sex toy, and the purpose of the session is her pleasure and our bonding and trust building.

This may be a scenario so repulsive to your imagination and personal desires, and too far outside of your experiences, to entertain as valid.

I get that.

However, I know for a fact, every woman who ever had anal sex with me would vociferously disagree with you on this point.

You are discussing two things, how much you personally do not like this activity, which is very valid and perfectly acceptable, and also, how this is often used to hurt women. I know, they've told me stories. Dozens and dozens of them have told me stories.

Men need to do better.

I am with you all the way, until you point out that we're all pretending this is just an act of male domination over women.

Okay.

I get why you feel that way, I just, respectfully disagree.

It hasn't been my experience in the past 24 years of being sexually active, not once, and I am a dom in the bedroom. i specifically exclude domination roleplay from whenever my penis goes into her mouth or anus.

Because, I want her to be fully in charge during those activities.

If she doesn't want to do them, they don't happen.

She decides when it stops.

I may not have an orgasm, doesn't bother me either way.

She decides the speed, depth of penetration. She's fully in command the entire time.

She wants to do this, the same way I WANT to be on my knees licking my partner's pussy.

Even if she doesn't have sex with me after. I get validation and turned on from licking pussy.

She is not being abusive to me.

If she were a trans girl with a penis, she would STILL not be being abusive to me.

If she were a man with a penis, I would not want to do this, but if it happened, according to the above rules, he would STILL not be being abusive to me.

I chose every part of this, every step of the way, and he was not dominating me in any way.

So I feel you are mistaken on this one, minor point, at the end.

part 2, because im not used to a character limit.

 

[ChloeOfCascadia]

I appreciate your feelings and perspective otherwise.

It's just that I also feel your personal dislike for it, like, me not wanting to be around guys in general because of my personal experience being abused and seeing them abuse women, and also, me only being attracted to women... okay, I have a bias against men. And no sexual attraction.

But at the same time, if I voluntarily put their penis in my mouth or ass, for whatever reason, and they didn't beg or coerce me or force it on me, that's MY decision.

They are NOT abusing me in that scenario.

Gender blind. Gender reversed. Two men. Two women, with a strapon or anal toy.

Sorry, I just disagree. It's your personal opinion versus my own, I think the basis for my opinion is on stronger ground, I am not trying to convince you to like men more or trust them more or tolerate abuse or enjoy anal sex.

Nope. That's all valid, whatever you feel.

But no. A woman choosing anal sex with a man is not being abused or dominated in every example. I know that for a fact.

And that becomes true even if it were me, or two men or two women, or whatever. It depends on the partner- are they being coercive, are they being rough or abusive, are they begging and manipulating, or, are you just assuming that's the only way it ever happens?

Sometimes people are curious.

I love women, and I've voluntarily inserted toys in myself to experience what that was like. I never came. It was not that hot. I stopped.

I was not being abused.

Sometimes women have that experience, where they try it to see what it is.

Sometimes, there's something hot about it, and intimate, and they like it.

I know, I wouldn't want a man to do that to me either.

But many men, and women / people without prostates, can in fact enjoy anal sex.

Even if they don't cum from it- like, many women cannot cum from nipple stimulation alone. But, rarely, some can.

But for many it's just an added stimulation.

Many women enjoy a plug or a dildo or a vibrator inside their anus while their male partner penetrates them vaginally.

They do this of their own accord because it feels good to be double penetrated, or so they freely claim on their own.

I have had partners do this as well. Usually, before they ever try anal sex with me, they're doing this of their own accord because they're curious, and the sensations go wild, apparently. They sure feel excited and animated and cum a lot.

Okay.

No prostate needed, and no abuse or coercion or domination needed or done in the first place.

The feeling of being full, the kinky feeling of being penetrated from two different angles at once. I don't know, I don't have a vagina. But plenty of women do this.

What I feel reading this is similar to how I felt when I read certain feminists of the extreme variety suggest all women who ever get penetrated by a penis are being traitors to their own gender, and are always a victim. Always, no matter how voluntary it is.

They believe women can't make their own decisions and can't crave penile contact, ever.

And then they date women, or marry asexual men, and that's fine...

But the rest of the heterosexual female human group, they can't do that and feel fulfilled.

And it is a bit presumptuous to tell all women everywhere that they can't enjoy something voluntarily, and if they do, they're just being victimized.

Okay.

Well, that's a bit similar to me telling all gay men everywhere, they don't actually like penis, they're just brainwashed into being abused by other toxic men, and every time they suck a penis or ride one, they're a victim.

Doesn't matter how they feel.

And every time they do that, they are being submissive by rule, and their partner is being dominant, nothing else. No other definitions apply.

It's never equal, there's always a domination element.

It's always sadistic on the part of the person penetrating.

It's always masochistic on the part of the person being penetrated.

Okay.... I don't think that's right.

I hate sadism and masochism and I've enjoyed the concept of women grabbing my hair, and roughly fucking my face with her clit, and cumming so hard on my tongue, that she squirts, which I am aware, is basically mostly urine.
I am aware of this, and I will still participate in this activity.

It may seem abusive to someone who has no idea why I might enjoy it.

I would voluntarily do this activity even if my partner never asked me to.

Surely, this is not an act of me being masochistic, or abused, or dominated. This is my free choice, and no one is hurting me.

Does this change if the genders were reversed?

If so, that is sexism by definition.

It's not reverse sexism, it's just sexism. It's sexism against both partners, even.

It is saying to the woman, you are always a victim. You cannot decide what you like.

I know it feels patronizing hearing me explain my thoughts on sex equality and feminism as a male genitalia having person.

I am aware of the mansplaining trope.

Still, it is much more patronizing to tell a woman she is always a victim even if she voluntarily chooses something, and also, explaining how it is always a domination / submissive relationship even when it is not.

That is presumptuous and comes from a place of projecting your personal desires and "never" desires onto others, and also, probably a place of being hurt and abused by men.

I'm not that different. I avoid men for almost all social interaction for a reason.

I'm with you on a lot of this.

The last bit is still just a step too far.

And it doesn't matter I know none of this is likely to change minds.

You may even be offended that I piled on and weighed in.

The wall of text may make it seem like it's super important for me to agree with you, it isn't. I'm just very wordy.

Enjoy your day and I'm sorry I can't agree with you on this issue. I know it feels better to hear people chime in and agree. I'm just being honest.

I know opinions are like personal taste, it can't be wrong unless you're making a declarative statement of fact.

So the last bit there was a declarative statement presented as an objective fact and it's just not, I feel. No harm no foul.

Odds anyone reads this are zero, but what the hell, I'm bored and I have nothing better to do.

 

[LMWM321]

@ChloeOfCascadia
Can you please shorten your posts

This is a web forum not a podcast

 

[Pavlovsdog6862]

Guys and gals mouseberry is an expert on this she has studied anal sex for over20 years . She’s right it’s all about power . She knows exactly what every woman likes and feels ! SHES AN EXPERT GUYS ! LADIES GET A CLUE BERRY KNOWS BETTER THEN YOU

 

[Britva415]

She knows exactly what every woman likes and feels

Even more important, she knows what every woman is supposed to like and feel.

 

[Britva415]

If you don't agree with me, that's fine

As long as you're clear that you're only speaking for yourself, there's no reason anyone could disagree.

But some people have no idea how they sound. I wonder if you're one of them. Because you sure have not been sounding like you're only trying to speak for yourself.

If you speak (or even appear to speak) for someone else and they don't agree with what you're projecting or appearing to project onto them, that's more than fine.

 

[mousberry]

As long as you're clear that you're only speaking for yourself, there's no reason anyone could disagree.

Seems like you've entirely abandoned the conversation in favour of tutting and finger wagging over a meaningless point of contention now. We're not even talking about the original topic anymore.

Newsflash, people disagree all the time. You've interrupted this thread so you can talk down and deliver these wise words of wisdom that... people disagree :0 spare me.

 

[LMWM321]

Seems like you've entirely abandoned the conversation in favour of tutting and finger wagging over a meaningless point of contention now. We're not even talking about the original topic anymore.

..And what about your remark below? ..Is that just conversational banter?

I feel sorry for the women that you have lied to in order to satisfy this fetish.

 

[mousberry]

..And what about your remark below? ..Is that just conversational banter?

No, I was being sincere. That wasn't a joke.

 

[lily_wall_]

No need to bully or insult or make fun of others.

You don't like what you read, scroll past

 

[dkak001]

Does anyone orgasm just with anal? Like no touching pussy at all, just anal?

Yes.

My partner has admitted to very intense orgasms from anal only.
I have them from anal only also, and I don't have a pussy.

 

[LMWM321]

No, I was being sincere. That wasn't a joke.

What a wonderful thing to be visited by such a clear-eyed, and well-read Sexual Ethicist. Now that you've set us all straight on how only abused or dumb women could possibly enjoy anal sex, maybe you'll now share your judgment on a few other sexual acts..

Tell us how you feel about the following:

• Women who enjoy performing fellatio - ie., NOT to please a partner, but for their OWN enjoyment? My wife says she enjoys giving head but this shouldn't be possible, right? After all, women don't have a clitoris in their mouth, and mouths are really meant for food-input, right??
• Women who enjoy buttplugs, or a finger in their ass - either with a partner, or as part of solo play. Is this also a form of sexual abuse?
• Gay women who enjoy anal play. How can this be if they don't have prostates?
• Women who enjoy having their nipples sucked by their intimacy partner. After all, a woman's nipples are meant for feeding babies, not adults! Shouldn't a woman feel degraded by this sexual activity, too?

Can't wait for you to enlighten us..

 

[JT1999]

Does anyone orgasm just with anal? Like no touching pussy at all, just anal?

I guess its possible but for me, no way.