❓ PLP Inquires❓

[PrettyLilPussy19]

08.13.19

The things, places and people we surround ourselves with become apart of us and reflect the way people see us.

Do you try to surround yourself with people that will have positive influences on you? How do you think people see you based on who/what you surround yourself with? Do you care? Does someone have a right to judge you based on what they see from the outside looking in?

 

[Paul_Chance]

08.13.19

The things, places and people we surround ourselves with become apart of us and reflect the way people see us.

Do you try to surround yourself with people that will have positive influences on you? How do you think people see you based on who/what you surround yourself with? Do you care? Does someone have a right to judge you based on what they see from the outside looking in?

Do you try to surround yourself with people that will have positive influences on you?

Yes. I curate my life by carefully choosing who I associate with and who I allow to influence me. I look at it this way - we have a limited amount of time in any given day, week, month, or year. What we fill that time with and who we fill that time with determines the quality of the life we live. So, exercise choice in that curation. Those choices have a powerful impact.

How do you think people see you based on who/what you surround yourself with?

This is a tougher question to answer because what we "see" of what other people think is only revealed by the feedback they give us, explicitly (in conversation) and implicitly (in actions). It's further limited by the sphere with which we interact with people - for me, it's three large spheres - professional, professional/personal, and personal. For the sake of being a "whole person", for me, the goal is to keep those three spheres as tightly aligned as possible - be the same person regardless of what I am doing and who I am with. Based on feedback, people who know me in any of the three spheres see me as an active and engaged person who is consciously living the best life he can and who cares deeply about people as "human beings" living the full range of experiences.

On the positive side they know that I love life and am constantly amazed and engaged in things. On what might be perceived as negative, they see me as a person who tends to draw "hard lines", makes quick decisions, and doesn't have much tolerance for bullshit or bad behavior. I tell people one of the strangest compliments I ever got was at the end of a long term relationship where she told me "For a heartless bastard, you're the nicest guy I know". I had to think about that one. The comment arose because of the reason we separated - she was engaged in behavior that was across one of my hard lines (pretty heavy recreational drug use*).

Do you care?

Yes and no. Yes, in that peoples perception of my is valuable feedback as I attempt to be a "good human being". No, in that unless that person is able to articulate why they perceive me in a negative light in a way that gets through to me, I am probably going to ignore their feedback. I've found that most people who give you negative feedback are doing so in an attempt to manipulate you and make you live the life they want you to live. If they're actually trying to help you then they know how to coach negative feedback in a positive light.

Does someone have a right to judge you based on what they see from the outside looking in?

Absolutely. We all have the right to judge other people's conduct. If you don't, then you run the risk of letting all kinds of negative crap into your life. Judge early, judge often. If my exterior conduct is not good, not reflective of my interior intentions, then by all means call me on my bullshit. That is how I become a better human being.

*I have no problem recreational drug use - alcohol or illicit drugs. But, I draw a line at how the drug, whatever it is, is being used. Here is the line. It's a Saturday night, we're going to a concert, you get stoned to enjoy the music more. Or perhaps you get stoned to make housecleaning a more enjoyable time. Or maybe you snort a line of coke to get your dance fever burning. All of that is fine with me.

But - if your default position is "I'm getting stoned", or if you have a hard day at work or some external stress hit you and you response is "fuck it, I'm getting wasted to cope", well, that is a hard line for me. Experience has taught me that people who are drug dependent in that way will always fuck you over when it comes to the choice between you and the drug of choice. If your drug of choice is more important than your relationship with me, whatever it is, well, you've made it clear where I stand and I make it clear where I stand - I've simple got no precious time and energy in this short and beautiful life to waste it on people who make it clear our relationship is not a primary concern. It's harsh, but it's the harsh lesson learned in the course of life. You're free to live you best life with coke or marijuana or whiskey. Have fun. Best wishes. Adios.

 

[ShaeLeeTanner]

08.13.19

The things, places and people we surround ourselves with become apart of us and reflect the way people see us.

Do you try to surround yourself with people that will have positive influences on you? How do you think people see you based on who/what you surround yourself with? Do you care? Does someone have a right to judge you based on what they see from the outside looking in?

Do you try to surround yourself with people that will have positive influences on you?

There's 7+ billion people living on this planet, so I'm completely surrounded by people who have a positive influence on me. Even the worst people living are a positive, because it lets me know not to be like them and be better, therefore, making that a positive from a negative so to speak.

How do you think people see you based on who/what you surround yourself with?

On who I surround myself with, they see a loving, giving, honest person. With what I surround myself with, I'm not into material things and enjoy a simple, happy life and lifestyle.

Do you care?

I stopped caring what other people think of me long ago. I'm living my life, not them, so what does it matter?

Does someone have a right to judge you based on what they see from the outside looking in?

No one should judge another person. None of us are perfect, so judgement is only a form of bias and prejudice based on personal feelings. As I said earlier, I'm a good person at heart and love and care about people in general and that shows. I know what I've done and said in my life and I'm not ashamed of any of it and don't regret my choices. Sometimes things happen in life beyond our control, but they still get judged by others and made to feel lesser than. I rose above that and show it in my daily life, so if someone wants to judge me based on what they see, let it be through clear and open eyes.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

08.17.19

How good are you at admitting that you're wrong? Do you apologize or change your position easily? Does it differ online v. real life?

 

[Azuldrgon]

08.17.19

How good are you at admitting that you're wrong? Do you apologize or change your position easily? Does it differ online v. real life?

I own up to it when I make a mistake because I know in the end, I am accountable for my actions.
I don't, however, change my position easily unless I am compelled to my actual evidence vs emotional persuasion.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

08.17.19

How good are you at admitting that you're wrong? Do you apologize or change your position easily? Does it differ online v. real life?

Accuracy is important to me, I have no problem apologizing and/or changing my position if I can see that I was wrong.

But i don't want to argue about my opinion. Just respect that i feel differently and move on.

 

[tnman03]

Accuracy is important to me, I have no problem apologizing and/or changing my position if I can see that I was wrong.

But i don't want to argue about my opinion. Just respect that i feel differently and move on.

This is a good response. Concise and to the point. Would you mind terribly WH if I just mirrored it because its also how I feel about the question presented.

 

[AlpineFresco]

08.17.19

How good are you at admitting that you're wrong? Do you apologize or change your position easily? Does it differ online v. real life?

I would say this is one of my strong points. The idea that I am (or anybody is) just right about everything is utterly absurd, so it's always worth seeking out other informed points of view, and if those ones dismantle your argument, then you change your argument. It's also worth keeping in mind that a sincere belief that your argument is sound doesn't actually make it so, and as humans we're awesome at self-deception in pursuit of preserving our own egos.

So, yes, I will admit when I'm wrong (and I've got a laundry list every week of things big and small I screwed up), and when I am I will change my position. That said, sometimes it takes a day or so of considering what someone's said to me before I properly understand it, and that's when my position changes. As I talk to people and learn more, my positions do change - so broadly I'm almost always in flux with some position on something. To engage with the world and resolutely not change your positions feels like hubris to me.

I wouldn't say it differs much for me online or in person.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

This is a good response. Concise and to the point. Would you mind terribly WH if I just mirrored it because its also how I feel about the question presented.

Yes.

No, I'm kidding.

As I talk to people and learn more, my positions do change - so broadly I'm almost always in flux with some position on something.

Same.

 

[AveryElle]

I would say this is one of my strong points. The idea that I am (or anybody is) just right about everything is utterly absurd, so it's always worth seeking out other informed points of view, and if those ones dismantle your argument, then you change your argument.

To engage with the world and resolutely not change your positions feels like hubris to me.

Heyyyyyyyy!

To the second part, I think there is a point at which one is actually right about some things.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

08.17.19

How good are you at admitting that you're wrong? Do you apologize or change your position easily? Does it differ online v. real life?

I think I am probably too good. First, I can debate myself in my head and change my own opinions, then waft back and forth. Quite often. Things are rarely black and white, and if someone else's position is more logical, I will sway to it, until something more logical is presented. I believe there is always the possibility of being wrong, even if by all reasonable appearances I have the correct answer. Life isn't always reasonably. I would be the worst witness or jury member. Well, witness anyway for sure. I can not imagine witnessing a crime by a stranger and being able to swear I am 100% sure it is the defendant. Eye witness testimony is not reliable, including my own. Memories are easily tainted. Hell, I can't even be sure what color "the dress" is, lol. I am a woman of science, and do not believe in a higher power, however I admit could be wrong, and as such do not classify myself as atheist because I am not sure enough. Hell, I am often incapable of using an adjective without a mitigating qualifier. I am always willing to listen.

As for apologizing, I am one of those over apologizers. I have apologized to furniture that I have bumped in to or to people who have bumped in to me. I say "I'm sorry" multiple times a day. I use it to actually apologize, to mean that I sympathize, to mean excuse me, to mean I don't know what else to say so that is coming out, to mean will this end this conversation,and probably for other reasons

I doubt it differs much in real life versus online. Well except for the whole bumping furniture thing. I don't think I have apologized to virtual furniture. Maybe virtual animals though.

 

[Esslemont]

I think I am probably too good. First, I can debate myself in my head and change my own opinions, then waft back and forth. Quite often. Things are rarely black and white, and if someone else's position is more logical, I will sway to it, until something more logical is presented. I believe there is always the possibility of being wrong, even if by all reasonable appearances I have the correct answer. Life isn't always reasonably. I would be the worst witness or jury member. Well, witness anyway for sure. I can not imagine witnessing a crime by a stranger and being able to swear I am 100% sure it is the defendant. Eye witness testimony is not reliable, including my own. Memories are easily tainted. Hell, I can't even be sure what color "the dress" is, lol. I am a woman of science, and do not believe in a higher power, however I admit could be wrong, and as such do not classify myself as atheist because I am not sure enough. Hell, I am often incapable of using an adjective without a mitigating qualifier. I am always willing to listen.

As for apologizing, I am one of those over apologizers. I have apologized to furniture that I have bumped in to or to people who have bumped in to me. I say "I'm sorry" multiple times a day. I use it to actually apologize, to mean that I sympathize, to mean excuse me, to mean I don't know what else to say so that is coming out, to mean will this end this conversation,and probably for other reasons

I doubt it differs much in real life versus online. Well except for the whole bumping furniture thing. I don't think I have apologized to virtual furniture. Maybe virtual animals though.

Absolutely well said.

Thank you.

 

[ShaeLeeTanner]

I think I say sorry enough most people think I'm Canadian, lol

 

[sunshinestate100]

Being married I'm apparently always in the wrong so always say sorry!!
Do I change position sometimes- I can have an opinion, as long as it's the same as the wife.

Is online different - definitely..

 

[barefootgirl69]

Being married I'm apparently always in the wrong so always say sorry!!
Do I change position sometimes- I can have an opinion, as long as it's the same as the wife.

Is online different - definitely..

oh, you think so?

 

[sunshinestate100]

oh, you think so?

Oh obviously not - so change position and say sorry to bfg

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Being married I'm apparently always in the wrong so always say sorry!!
Do I change position sometimes- I can have an opinion, as long as it's the same as the wife.

Is online different - definitely..

Happy wife, happy life!

 

[Esslemont]

Happy wife, happy life!

Written by a wife...? lol

I kid...because I have to.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Oh obviously not - so change position and say sorry to bfg

LOL.

 

[sunshinestate100]

LOL.

A whole bunch right back at you BFG

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

A whole bunch right back at you BFG

Hey! Who even are you?

<stands guard in front of bfg, hands on hips>

 

[Esslemont]

Hey! Who even are you?

<stands guard in front of bfg, hands on hips>

Probably just another person that appreciates her.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Probably just another person that appreciates her.

Well... behave.

I'll be watching you! (Not really, I'm too lazy )

 

[smtst5]

Well... behave.

I'll be watching you! (Not really, I'm too lazy )

Hey WH! Over here!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hey WH! Over here!

Hey dude! What's up?