A Noobs response

[Aella_]

You (singular) quoted Fata (also singular).
Then in the next sentence, you lump Fata in that group. Whatever the fuck group that may be.

I felt a bit under attack, … ...Duuh (I just quoted you).
((Btw, do you know that I copied most of my Lit. lingo from your posts? The "stooopid" thing was particularly successful.))
And people get very defensive when they feel attacked, and they attack back.

And I didn't enjoy sucking up to her afterwards, either, cause it felt unnatural. But, given the above, I had to explain my view of her. Otherwise, people who read these would have stayed with the wrong impression: that I'm accusing her of doing the ganging up thing, too, which she doesn't.

 

[Fata Morgana]

I felt a bit under attack, … ...Duuh (I just quoted you).
((Btw, do you know that I copied most of my Lit. lingo from your posts? The "stooopid" thing was particularly successful.))
And people get very defensive when they feel attacked, and they attack back.

And I didn't enjoy sucking up to her afterwards, either, cause it felt unnatural. But, given the above, I had to explain my view of her. Otherwise, people who read these would have stayed with the wrong impression: that I'm accusing her of doing the ganging up thing, too, which she doesn't.

Dunno what this waffle is.

Only Brits of a certain age will get this, but you read like Stanley Unwin.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Exactly right. There's only one subject I bang my drum on here to and that's rarely, I've never expressed any fucking world views.

That subject is squirt cheese, yes?

 

[butters]

Dunno what this waffle is.

Only Brits of a certain age will get this, but you read like Stanley Unwin.

hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa

up-suckery aboundeth!

 

[Fata Morgana]

That subject is squirt cheese, yes?

Exactly.

 

[Aella_]

Dunno what this waffle is.

Only Brits of a certain age will get this, but you read like Stanley Unwin.

You just hit a spot, actually…
My spoken english (short sentences)is very good, as people tell me.
But when it comes to written english (long phrases) and syntax - pain of my (and of other non-english speakers, I suspect) existence. *sigh*

 

[Disgustipated]

OK, I'm off to bed. See you tomorrow or whenever you post again.

^^6:29am

You just hit a spot, actually…
My spoken english (short sentences)is very good, as people tell me.
But when it comes to written english (long phrases) and syntax - pain of my (and of other non-english speakers, I suspect) existence. *sigh*

^^^over an hour later

It's about you being a lying cunt, not you having broken English.

 

[Aella_]

^^6:29am

^^^over an hour later

Hahaa, true.
Lit often makes you change your mind, the itch is too great.

It's about you being a lying cunt, not you having broken English.

I wasn't trying to justify myself, dummy.
Her comment triggered a reflective mood, cuz I struggle with written(as opposed to spoken) english on an almost constant basis, in real life.

 

[Recidiva]

I felt a bit under attack, … ...Duuh (I just quoted you).
((Btw, do you know that I copied most of my Lit. lingo from your posts? The "stooopid" thing was particularly successful.))
And people get very defensive when they feel attacked, and they attack back.

And I didn't enjoy sucking up to her afterwards, either, cause it felt unnatural. But, given the above, I had to explain my view of her. Otherwise, people who read these would have stayed with the wrong impression: that I'm accusing her of doing the ganging up thing, too, which she doesn't.

"He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away."

It's the expectations of behavior that trips people up. People that assume they should be liked by a majority will continue to try to either try to change other people or change themselves until they think that they are.

Here there are just a bunch of people that feel no need to either recognize or meet an arbitrary standard of behavior or manners. That can be freeing to some and upsetting to others who feel that if they know and follow the rules, they will get validated.

A lot of the "attacks" don't rise to that level, they're just screwing around with words. If you are worked up, that's on you. Your accusations of other people being worked up often are mistaken. People do not care that much.

There's no expectation of acceptance, and the accusations of "clique" are often just roving bands of opinionated people that may or may not agree with each other on all subjects, but agree on this one. It's not worth the time to keep track of it or make the accusation.

If you earnestly feel attacked and you feel you must attack in return to defend yourself, that's a silly place to be.

 

[Aella_]

You're entitled to your own opinion, and I'm entitled to mine.

 

[Recidiva]

You're entitled to your own opinion, and I'm entitled to mine.

That's true, it's also my opinion that you should begin to think that people are telling the truth if they're annoyed or irritated by having their thought process and reactions mischaracterized repeatedly because you think it should be a way that it isn't.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0p36kG87I1r5jtugo1_500.gif

 

[Aella_]

That's true, it's also my opinion that you should begin to think that people are telling the truth if they're annoyed or irritated by having their thought process and reactions mischaracterized repeatedly because you think it should be a way that it isn't.

Did I make any reference to you? No.
Or to anyone else in particular? No. Therefore, given that I didn't want to make it too clear, who I was talking about, I believe that your post does not entirely hit the spot.

 

[Recidiva]

Did I make any reference to you? No.
Or to anyone else in particular? No. Therefore, given that I didn't want to make it too clear, who I was talking about, I believe that your post does not entirely hit the spot.

This is my not shocked font.

 

[girlsmiley]

"He who trims himself to suit everybody will soon whittle himself away."

It's the expectations of behavior that trips people up. People that assume they should be liked by a majority will continue to try to either try to change other people or change themselves until they think that they are.

Here there are just a bunch of people that feel no need to either recognize or meet an arbitrary standard of behavior or manners. That can be freeing to some and upsetting to others who feel that if they know and follow the rules, they will get validated.

A lot of the "attacks" don't rise to that level, they're just screwing around with words. If you are worked up, that's on you. Your accusations of other people being worked up often are mistaken. People do not care that much.

There's no expectation of acceptance, and the accusations of "clique" are often just roving bands of opinionated people that may or may not agree with each other on all subjects, but agree on this one. It's not worth the time to keep track of it or make the accusation.

If you earnestly feel attacked and you feel you must attack in return to defend yourself, that's a silly place to be.

Excellent post. I especially like the last part. I dunno about everyone else, but I like having a little laugh when I attack others.

 

[girlsmiley]

Did I make any reference to you? No.
Or to anyone else in particular? No. Therefore, given that I didn't want to make it too clear, who I was talking about, I believe that your post does not entirely hit the spot.

What?

Sorry, pardon me?

 

[Aella_]

Excellent post. I especially like the last part. I dunno about everyone else, but I like having a little laugh when I attack others.

And you're not the one that I had in mind, either, even if you go , at times.
Anyone else lined up for free movies and dinner?

 

[Recidiva]

Excellent post. I especially like the last part. I dunno about everyone else, but I like having a little laugh when I attack others.

I get that other people are here for sex or something, but for me it's about exhibitionist verbal gymnastics and I will clap if anybody sticks a landing.

Some of the meanest arguments I have here are also with people I adore and sometimes I get PMs that I'm being cruel and hurting someone's feelings from a third party. "What? I love that guy. He's having a blast."

 

[girlsmiley]

And you're not the one that I had in mind, either, even if you go , at times.
Anyone else lined up for free movies and dinner?

Mmkay.

(I've no idea what you're on about, but that's ok)

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[girlsmiley]

I get that other people are here for sex or something, but for me it's about exhibitionist verbal gymnastics and I will clap if anybody sticks a landing.

Some of the meanest arguments I have here are also with people I adore and sometimes I get PMs that I'm being cruel and hurting someone's feelings from a third party. "What? I love that guy. He's having a blast."

Yeah I totally get that.

Sex? I love the sex!

I didn't come here looking for someone to have sex with lol, although there are one or two I wouldn't mind meeting. No prizes for guessing who. Not just to have sex with mind you. A chat and a cup of tea and a few laughs. But yeah just mainly to fuck if I'm being honest.

But that's not why I came and that's not why I stay. I'm a very sexual person. I love sex. I think about it all the time. Sometimes I have too much sex and I think I should take a break, and then 5 minutes later I'm in her arms again.

I'm a bit of a princess I find. Still figuring things out about myself, but that's quite fun too.

 

[Recidiva]

Can I say something about 'clique' without being a cunty cunt?

I think that this board, and the board I consider home ( bdsm ) CAN be cliquey. Its inevitable that over time people who chat a bit, and share things, whether its long standing jokes, or inner secrets, becomes isn't knit. Laurel herself today points out some have been chatting here for almost two decades! How ca you not have forged friendships and in jokes and little lines of communication that are a little alienating to new comers and take time to get to understand ( if ever so e of them) . As a new arrival I do not find that a problem, and on a board where I am feel more 'included' I am aware of it, and try and greet as many newbies with a hello, not because everyone should, but because its my nature and I do think cliques exist, but if don't think they are "evil" or wrong or anything other than inevitable.

I have also annoyed people in many ways I inow . I love discussion, but is dislike abuse. I try very hard, not to dish it out, and is welcome support when I fail....because I am human. I did not earn love from term BDSMer when I asked them not to address me in a particularly manner in discussion if we were to maintain it. I valued the insight that person gave TREMENDOUSLY, but not the delivery to me.

Here I am on different ground. I certainly do not expect respect. From reading I do not expect ' good old fashioned ettiquette' but people have in the main been very nice. I like that. But it will take time to get to know relationships and who is who and old jokes. Its like looking at a logic game with few clues at first.

In ( not) short, ( hey, and I am not que alt) its not that there is no clique IMO, its that there are cliques everywhere in life and Internet etc. Being aware of it in it I think is not mandatory but kind and not expecting to find otherwise is..just sensible.


Elle

I spent a lot of time on the BDSM board, not recently, but yes. Same with the Author's Hangout. There are friends and groups that naturally congregate, know each other and share conversations. It can be impossible to "break into" that - but why are you breaking in in the first place?

My comment is more about taking those things personally as an outsider, as though you have some inherent right to sit down next to them and talk and be accepted.

Some people just come here to talk to the folks they like, they're not looking for new buddies.

So I would compare it to walking into a coffee shop where there are some "reserved" tables for regulars who know each other, the waitress knows their orders and they get "the usual" and it's off menu and they get special treatment between each other and they feel a sense of camaraderie and "home" that maybe other people are not entitled to. They are not entitled to it for a reason. They haven't been here, simply put. They have no shared history, no shared conversations, they are an unknown quantity.

Despite the "vicious" rep that the GB gets, if someone can hold their damned own and make people laugh and show a sense of self deprecating humor, they will fit right in somewhere, with someone, and they can build from there.

The coffee shop is open, the menu is there and you can gather your own group of buddies if you want to.

The act of walking in, jumping up and down and saying "I'M HERE" anywhere does not mean you automatically are ushered into someone else's sanctum sanctorum. If you wouldn't intrude on someone's conversations in a restaurant, or if you don't understand being rebuffed, that's a social skill that could be learned here.

"Someone's singing happy birthday over THERE but not to ME."

"Being left out" is standard until you develop your own relationships.

Sitting in the middle of the place shouting "WHY IS NOBODY TALKING TO ME AND WHY DO OTHER PEOPLE LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN?!" is not only sour grapes but rude. It also telegraphs that you'd be crappy company at that table.

Some people also come on and are bored and boring and jumping up and down is the only thing they can do to get attention. That parasitic person looks an awful lot like the "Nobody likes me" person. They are to be avoided.

It's about taking it personally and realizing that if you had a bunch of friends that you find common ground with, enjoy their company, have argued with, have cried with, have laughed with, and someone wanders up and says "So hey, guys, what are 'we' doing today?" that would be intrusive.

Even if it is a 'clique' it's not formed with an agenda and a mandate to make other people miserable. It is a group that exists to entertain itself and may or may not be perfectly happy being just as it is with no interference, additions or subtractions.

They have zero obligation to give a damn about your opinion regarding their interactions with each other.

This isn't directed at you and any use of the word 'you' as a pronoun in anything other than in this sentence isn't an accusation. It's just to clarify that something perceived as a malicious 'clique' could be and probably is just a bunch of snarky friends.

This does not apply if they're all named Heather.

 

[Recidiva]

Yeah I totally get that.

Sex? I love the sex!

I didn't come here looking for someone to have sex with lol, although there are one or two I wouldn't mind meeting. No prizes for guessing who. Not just to have sex with mind you. A chat and a cup of tea and a few laughs. But yeah just mainly to fuck if I'm being honest.

But that's not why I came and that's not why I stay. I'm a very sexual person. I love sex. I think about it all the time. Sometimes I have too much sex and I think I should take a break, and then 5 minutes later I'm in her arms again.

I'm a bit of a princess I find. Still figuring things out about myself, but that's quite fun too.

I write smut. Pretty much covers it.

You are a princess, silly.

 

[Lyricalli]

I struggle with written(as opposed to spoken) english on an almost constant basis, in real life.

Writing in a non-nativ. lang..ge can be difficult, I agr... That's why I'm c.nst.ntly amaz.d at the lib.rti.s tak.n wth it by som..ne who says th.y are trying to be und.rst..d. Ys, the struggle is rl.

 

[BucksMaster]

Good Scottish name, Heather , my eldest daughter's name , in fact

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]