Just for Fun--First Lines of Rejected Novels

[Pureotica]

From the first time she picked up a pen, Paige Turner wanted to write thrillers.

 

[Pureotica]

Bullied in youth for his awkward gait, Hung Wei Lo grew into success among the village maidens.

 

[onehitwanda]

Not mine, but always made me chuckle:

"Bother!" said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who it was?"

 

[SimonDoom]

"I'll make the bed, Mom," said Jo's son, Eddie Peuce, exasperated with her nagging, "just as soon as you get out of it."

 

[lustychimera]

A little twisted, but my aim is true.

Elvis Costello fan fic?

 

[Candy_Kane54]

"Well," groused Bill, staring the mirror and not liking what he saw looking back at him.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Call me jizz-male.

-tentatively titled Moby Prick.

I would have thought that the real title Moby Dick would be sufficient.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Double-amputee, Norma Legs thought her chance for love had past, until she met the handsome artificial limb specialist, Carter Roundabitt.

 

[yowser]

Oddly enough, Marcia Blue hadn't been able to determine whether she was a loving wife until the first time she cheated on Brad.

 

[onehitwanda]

Double-amputee, Norma Legs thought her chance for love had past, until she met the handsome artificial limb specialist, Carter Roundabitt.

oh my God I love you so much.

 

[HordHolm]

It's somebody's else's last line, but it would work so well as the first line of something rejected:

She cut her hair, and I stopped loving her.

(Billy Bragg - new lyric, Michael Brown, Bob Calili, Tony Sansone, 'Walk Away Renee')

 

[Djmac1031]

Prologue:

It all started with an email. "Greetings, I am a Nigerian Prince who desperately needs your help to claim my inheritance. In return, I will share it with you."

Who was this mysterious prince? Why did he need my help specifically? And just how big was this inheritance, and how generous would he be in exchange for my help?

I knew I must know more...

 

[HordHolm]

Prologue:

It all started with an email. "Greetings, I am a Nigerian Prince who desperately needs your help to claim my inheritance. In return, I will share it with you."

Who was this mysterious prince? Why did he need my help specifically? And just how big was this inheritance, and how generous would he be in exchange for my help?

I knew I must know more...

You HAVE to write this...

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Prologue:

It all started with an email. "Greetings, I am a Nigerian Prince who desperately needs your help to claim my inheritance. In return, I will share it with you."

Who was this mysterious prince? Why did he need my help specifically? And just how big was this inheritance, and how generous would he be in exchange for my help?

I knew I must know more...

I like where this is going.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Prologue:

It all started with an email. "Greetings, I am a Nigerian Prince who desperately needs your help to claim my inheritance. In return, I will share it with you."

Who was this mysterious prince? Why did he need my help specifically? And just how big was this inheritance, and how generous would he be in exchange for my help?

I knew I must know more...

In all seriousness I did this story for reals.

Now I’m wondering if I should load up the tale of Prince Bhuna Bhuna of the African nation of Swafega.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Jane Smith was perfect for espionage. Her plain features meant she merged into the background of any room, her lack of charisma meant she was viewed as human wallpaper, her mousy demeanour gave her camouflage in rooms where rampant egos shone bright as polished silver, her ruthless cunning meant she could deal death like a croupier dealt cards at the baccarat table, and her ability to think creatively and improvise meant she was rarely, even in the most dangerous of situations, ever truly at risk…but arguably her greatest assets to the field of spy craft were her massive norks!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wyatt Swollen sat in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to call him in.

It was a dark cold evening in the dungeon, and the cane was striking thirteen.

 

[Djmac1031]

It was a dark cold evening in the dungeon, and the cane was striking thirteen.

See that's a story I wouldn't reject though.

 

[EmilyMiller]

See that's a story I wouldn't reject though.

I think I’ve written the rest TBH.

Even down to the final paragraphs being almost identical .

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wyatt Swollen sat in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to call him in.

As Emily Wilson awoke one morning from uneasy dreams ahe found herself confronted in her bed by a gigantic octopus.

 

[Djmac1031]

As Emily Wilson awoke one morning from uneasy dreams ahe found herself confronted in her bed by a gigantic octopus.

Sounds like a Meta-Sequel.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wyatt Swollen sat in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to call him in.

It was the day my cock exploded.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wyatt Swollen sat in the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to call him in.

All this happened, whore confessed.

 

[Djmac1031]

[/QUOTE]

It was the day my cock exploded.

You can't just write sentences like that without considering every guy who's junk just crawled up in sympathetic pains.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You can't just write sentences like that without considering every guy who's junk just crawled up in sympathetic pains

I need to work on my male narration.

Em