Laughter is Contagious

[thesan]

Thank you thesan! That is great.

You're welcome.

Hmmm. I wonder how many of the guys on Lit are REALLY lesbians and not what they listed in their occupation?

 

[mikeroman336]

You're welcome.

Hmmm. I wonder how many of the guys on Lit are REALLY lesbians and not what they listed in their occupation?

I'm probably a lesbian.

 

[thesan]

Old, Old pilot

You think you have lived to be 89 and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell.

*****






An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'



He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'


She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'


The two sat sipping in silence.


A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, "are you a real pilot?"


He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

I'm probably a lesbian.

Based on the above, I bet you are!!

 

[2wild2care]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.

'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.

'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

 

[Raindear816]

OMG__too corny! LOL

 

[2wild2care]

Too corny? It gets worse - see below;


A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.'
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, 'They're twins ! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

 

[2wild2care]

Old couple sat in church. During the service wife whispers "I have just done a silent fart, what should I do?"

Hubby says "Put a fuckin battery in your hearing aid"

 

[kayte]

1. Don't take life so seriously. It isn't permanent.

2. Let me drop everything and work on YOUR problem.

3. I see dumb people.

4. Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?

5. I'm not fluent in Idiot, so please speak slowly and clearly.

6. Nosey little bastard, aren't you?

7. My parents said I could be anything I wanted, so I became an asshole.

8. To err is human ... but to blame someone else shows management potential.

9. Top ten reason I procrastinate:

10. Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

 

[2wild2care]

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED ........................

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing a gale, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's how the fight started ..



****
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's how the fight started ..



****
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'

And that's how the fight started ..



****
I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and Little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it .. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I'm not happy!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well then, which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started ..



****
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah,' I said, 'she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started ..



****
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's how the fight started ....



****
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started .......

 

[kayte]

THE SNEEZE

I think this is awesome!!!

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing .. and the traditional caps, they looked almost .. as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and Moms freely brushed away tears.

This class would NOT pray during the commencements- ---not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.



The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine..... until the final speech received a standing ovation.

A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.

All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED !!!!


The student on stage.. simply looked at the audience and said,

'GOD BLESS YOU
And he walked off stage...


The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.

Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends..... ....and

GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

This is a true story; it happened at the University of Maryland .



Oh, how I wish THIS one would take off and FILL the whole Country!!

 

[2wild2care]

Women are chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?

Woman 2: Yes.

Woman 1: Was it good?

Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner
in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five
minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?


Woman 1 Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home
he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked
for an hour. It was like a fairytale.


At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed
my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?


Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they
cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my
wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left
for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour – and when we got
home remember there was no electricity so I had to light fucking
candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up
for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally
did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was
jabbering away for another hour!

 

[kayte]

Women are chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?

Woman 2: Yes.

Woman 1: Was it good?

Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner
in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five
minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?


Woman 1 Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home
he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked
for an hour. It was like a fairytale.


At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed
my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?


Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they
cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my
wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left
for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour – and when we got
home remember there was no electricity so I had to light fucking
candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up
for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally
did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was
jabbering away for another hour!

Thank you {{{{2wild}}}}} ~ That is grand! I'm LMAO

 

[kayte]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."
The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

 

[smoothdevil]

Women are chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?

Woman 2: Yes.

Woman 1: Was it good?

Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner
in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five
minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?


Woman 1 Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home
he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked
for an hour. It was like a fairytale.


At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed
my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?


Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they
cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my
wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left
for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour – and when we got
home remember there was no electricity so I had to light fucking
candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up
for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally
did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was
jabbering away for another hour!

greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

 

[newbiebabe]

This should make you smile.
You have to love little kids.

The teacher had a rolls of LifeSavers for her students.
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red....................Cherry
Yellow.................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange ..............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

 

[kayte]

This should make you smile.
You have to love little kids.

The teacher had a rolls of LifeSavers for her students.
The children began to identify the flavors by their color:

Red....................Cherry
Yellow.................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange ..............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

Thank you! That is hysterical!

 

[kayte]

Ponderisms:

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
3. OK.... So if the JacksonvilleJaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
6. If people from Polandare called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
15.I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me, they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
21.Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells... 'THEIRS'?

 

[kayte]

Entitled To One Phone Call

Two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, enjoying a joint on the edge of the fountain in the town square.
The arresting officer, unable to reach either parent, gave them one phone call.
A half hour later, a man entered the station.
The sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer?"
"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just delivering their pizza!"

 

[smoothdevil]

Ponderisms:

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

S U P E R ..... lol lol lol

 

[kayte]

Can't You Just Love Me?

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelery dept where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

 

[kayte]

1. Woman Trouble

Dick noticed his buddy was drunker than he'd ever seen him.
He walked over to the bar and asked, "What's the trouble, Conrad? Is it a woman?"
Conrad replied, "What else?"
"Want to tell me about it?" asked Dick.
"It's your wife," said Conrad.
"My wife?" asked Dick. "What about her?"
"Well, buddy, I'm afraid she's cheating on us!"

2. By All Means ... MARRY!

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -- Anonymous.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." -- Henny Youngman.

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." -- Sam Kinison.

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -- James Holt McGavran.

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." -- Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Ogden Nash.

 

[done_got_old]

1. Woman Trouble

Dick noticed his buddy was drunker than he'd ever seen him.
He walked over to the bar and asked, "What's the trouble, Conrad? Is it a woman?"
Conrad replied, "What else?"
"Want to tell me about it?" asked Dick.
"It's your wife," said Conrad.
"My wife?" asked Dick. "What about her?"
"Well, buddy, I'm afraid she's cheating on us!"

2. By All Means ... MARRY!

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -- Anonymous.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." -- Henny Youngman.

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." -- Sam Kinison.

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -- James Holt McGavran.

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." -- Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Ogden Nash.

Very good!

 

[kayte]

An oldie but a goodie!



Wife 1.0 (Upgraded)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Fishing 7.5, and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!!

THE REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints. It is due to a primary misconception generally by male users. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a “Utilities and Entertainment program”.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to disallow this.

Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child Support.” I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding “General Partnership Faults (GPFs).” You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF’s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return too normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills 4.2.

You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.

WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

 

[HoneyBearFarms]

Wife asks husband,

"How many women have you slept with?"


Husband proudly replies,

"Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake."

 

[smoothdevil]

Political Life


Having already downed a few drinks, she turns around,
looks him straight in the eye and says...

"Listen close, big guy. For the right price I'll screw anybody, anytime and anywhere. Your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on; it doesn't matter to me. I just f...king love it!"



His eyes now shining wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding? I'm in Congress, too. What state are you from?"