Lit Limericks - one line at a time - 2

[Firecracker]

Her husband was watching football,
Ignoring his wife’s ‘port of call.’
She grabbed the remote,

 

[Firecracker]

She took a seat on Santa's lap,

 

[Trubbycat]

She took a seat on Santa's lap,

Which made the old boy a think of a fap

 

[__Nathan1968]

Her husband was watching football,
Ignoring his wife’s ‘port of call.’
She grabbed the remote,
And said, and I quote

You can have it back after we ball.

 

[__Nathan1968]

She took a seat on Santa's lap,
Which made the old boy a think of a fap
He said aren’t you a bit old?

 

[Firecracker]

She took a seat on Santa's lap,
Which made him think of a fap.
“Aren’t you a bit old?”
He asked with eyes rolled,

 

[__Nathan1968]

She took a seat on Santa's lap,
Which made him think of a fap.
“Aren’t you a bit old?”
He asked with eyes rolled,
Then she proceeded to give him the clap.

 

[__Nathan1968]

Too far?

 

[Firecracker]

Mrs. Claus sat waiting at home,

 

[__Nathan1968]

Mrs. Claus sat waiting at home,
Worried that Santa might roam.

 

[LizVegas79]

Mrs. Claus sat waiting at home,
Worried that Santa might roam.
So she told all the elves

 

[luv2custrip]

Don’t just play with yourselves

 

[__Nathan1968]

Mrs. Claus sat waiting at home,
Worried that Santa might roam.
So she told all the elves
Don’t just play with yourselves
Help me polish the old geezer’s chrome.

 

[Firecracker]

Mrs. Claus sat waiting at home,
Worried that Santa might roam.
So she told all the elves,
“Don’t just play with yourselves,
You’ll get carpal tunnel syndrome!”

 

[LizVegas79]

There once was a girl who was naughty

 

[Firecracker]

There once was a girl who was naughty,
Who came off as elitist and haughty.

 

[LizVegas79]

There once was a girl who was naughty,
Who came off as elitist and haughty.
She acted like a bitch

 

[Firecracker]

There once was a girl who was naughty,
Who came off as elitist and haughty.
She acted like a bitch,
But still had an itch,
To have sex as wild as karate!

 

[Firecracker]

A guy with some rather large pecs,
Would stand at the mirror and flex.

 

[__Nathan1968]

A guy with some rather large pecs,
Would stand at the mirror and flex
Just like Narcissus
He’d ignore his Mrs.

 

[Firecracker]

She wanted a new start in life,
A change from the sadness and strife.

 

[LizVegas79]

A guy with some rather large pecs,
Would stand at the mirror and flex.
His ego was huge

 

[Firecracker]

A guy with some rather large pecs,
Would stand at the mirror and flex.
His ego was huge,
But unlike a scrooge,

 

[Biggalute]

A guy with some rather large pecs,
Would stand at the mirror and flex.
His ego was huge,
But unlike a scrooge,
He gave away money and cheques

 

[Biggalute]

She wanted a new start in life,
A change from the sadness and strife.
So with wonderment, she went