Literotica's All-time Best "Worst Public Feedback" List

[SweetWitch]

Alien or not, I'd buy a flack jacket if i was you.

Them ladies are going to hurt you yet and not in a good way either.

You sound as if you speak from experience.

 

[Guest]

Yes, it is. If everyone would put him on that exalted list, he’d disappear into the woodwork like the rest of the cockroaches.

Don’t let him get to you, Dani. He’s not worth the effort. He’s been on my iggy list for a long time now.

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. Him and all his alts are now on ignore and my blood pressure is now much better.

 

[SweetWitch]

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. Him and all his alts are now on ignore and my blood pressure is now much better.

Cool. Now if we can get everyone else to do the same, he'll disappear and no longer pollute an otherwise fun thread.

 

[wanderwonder]

Oh, I do like this forum.

My very first comment ever on Literotica was about how disgusting my story was and how faggots are the spawn of the hell and how I should be writing about "big black dicks stretching tiny white cunts" instead, all while fucking myself. Also, I'm pretty sure the guy's Lit name was MachoMan, or something involving those words, and he typed in all caps, which was even better. As the product of a loving interracial marriage I became extremely offended and I deleted the comment immediately, but now I kinda wish I hadn't; it was a winner. How this guy wandered all the way through a story marked Gay Male and was surprised at the end is beyond me, but stranger things have happened, I suppose.

Here's another of my favorites, posted to chapter three of The Worst Days:

So Good!!!
09/03/07 By: Anonymous in New York, NY
omg!!! this chapter was hot!!! i cant even count how many times i came reading this. i swear my cum tasted different, it was weird...anyway, wanderwonder, you're fucking awesome!!!!

Not really sure how to respond to that one.

By the way, if we all keep talking about hating scouries (who clearly has severe insecurity issues and was probably was bullied as a child, and seems to be prowling random forums for any mention of his name), does he win? I just want to know, because I'm really super competitive and am thinking of starting a forum for people whose ejaculate tastes different because of my stories, which would so totally be tons, I swear. Good idea, yes?

 

[sr71plt]

By the way, if we all keep talking about hating scouries (who clearly has severe insecurity issues and was probably was bullied as a child, and seems to be prowling random forums for any mention of his name), does he win?

Yes.

I used to get a lot of hate male on my GM stories too. That's slacked off (at least before I posted this here), so I guess I haven't been degenerate enough of late. What I always wondered, though, was why these commenters were reading my stories anyway (and whether they had a light in that there closet to read by).

 

[wanderwonder]

I used to get a lot of hate male on my GM stories too. That's slacked off (at least before I posted this here), so I guess I haven't been degenerate enough of late. What I always wondered, though, was why these commenters were reading my stories anyway (and whether they had a light in that there closet to read by).

Easing a guilty conscience, mayhap? "Just curious"? Secretly envious? Eh, I'm too vanilla to earn anything more inflammatory; something to work on. Honestly, though, I've never posted on a story that I didn't like. It isn't as though readers are going to skip to the comments first—I can't warn anyone away from them—and so negative comments become what I'm dubbing The Scouries Effect (he wins again, dammit!).

I do have some theories about my only negative comment[ator]. My most favorite theory is that MachoMan's wife walked in while he was reading, so he posted in compensation. My second favorite theory is that by the time I rolled out chapter three, he was Anonymous in New York, NY.

 

[sr71plt]

Easing a guilty conscience, mayhap? "Just curious"? Secretly envious? Eh, I'm too vanilla to earn anything more inflammatory; something to work on. Honestly, though, I've never posted on a story that I didn't like. It isn't as though readers are going to skip to the comments first—I can't warn anyone away from them—and so negative comments become what I'm dubbing The Scouries Effect (he wins again, dammit!).

I do have some theories about my only negative comment[ator]. My most favorite theory is that MachoMan's wife walked in while he was reading, so he posted in compensation. My second favorite theory is that by the time I rolled out chapter three, he was Anonymous in New York, NY.

Isn't "Anonymous in New York, NY" a redundancy?

I've never put a negative comment on a story at Lit., either. I just "oh, that's . . . interesting" to myself and move on.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Oh, I do like this forum.

My very first comment ever on Literotica was about how disgusting my story was and how faggots are the spawn of the hell and how I should be writing about "big black dicks stretching tiny white cunts" instead, all while fucking myself. Also, I'm pretty sure the guy's Lit name was MachoMan, or something involving those words, and he typed in all caps, which was even better.

*laugh* I love that sort of shotgun approach to virulent invective. Load it all in and let fire!

Lord, that's a beauty. The angry homophobics who post to Gay Male stories are just so darned ... cute. I derive a good deal of sympathy for them (and a healthy dose of schadenfreude) as I try to imagine the strange welter of confusion, resentment, and excitement they must feel when opening up a story from that category.

 

[MzDeviancy]

You know, reading this thread, I'm really starting to get a little pissed off with my lazy trolls. I thought they were doing their best, that 'Boooooo! You suck, bitch!' was standard troll fare, but it's become glaringly obvious that I just have some really sub-par trolls.

From now on, all my stories are going to have an open challenge to trolls attached, I think. 'Why you think my story sucks, in fifty words or more' or 'Bash my story using alliteration, circumlocution, or hyperbaton!'

 

[Guest]

'Bash my story using alliteration, circumlocution, or hyperbaton!'

Most trolls would have to get out their troll dictionaries for that one...

 

[TxRad]

You sound as if you speak from experience.

Let's see. Married three times, all were redheads, I lived to tell about it. Yeah, I been there and i still love to love redheads.


DK, Troll dictionaries are limited to four letter words.

 

[SweetWitch]

Let's see. Married three times, all were redheads, I lived to tell about it. Yeah, I been there and i still love to love redheads.


DK, Troll dictionaries are limited to four letter words.

Tx, speaking as a redhead, you might want to quit while you still have all your parts.

 

[BlackShanglan]

From now on, all my stories are going to have an open challenge to trolls attached, I think. 'Why you think my story sucks, in fifty words or more' or 'Bash my story using alliteration, circumlocution, or hyperbaton!'

Slow-sleeping witless wonder art thou, of looks listless, of brightness bereft, drooping dull-dropping vine that to my home huddles. Thy turgid tendrils not unlike, my will-less wits in bold and independent venture fail to flourish. Though truth told be, I know not how to raise my wrath the author to overthrow; myself I censure with curse and callous kicks, for her story I have failed thus far to edit. Yet, in hand my heavy hopes, I proffer, penitent, the thrilling three her plea engendered has.

(Just couldn't resist the hyperbaton!)

 

[Guest]

Slow-sleeping witless wonder art thou, of looks listless, of brightness breft, drooping dull-dropping vine that to my home huddles. Thy turgid tendrils not unlike, my will-less wits in bold and independent venture fail to flourish. Though truth told be, I know not how to raise my wrath the author to overthrow; myself I censure with curse and callous kicks, for her story I have failed thus far to edit. Yet, in hand my heavy hopes, I proffer, penitent, the thrilling three her plea engendered has.

(Just couldn't resist the hyperbaton!)

Encore! Encore! Bravo! Author!

 

[MarshAlien]

And you should be ashamed for posting from a story that is not yours. What is it about you that you think you have the right to take something like that that the author might not want posted anywhere else and flaunt it in a thread like this. If we flaunt our own bad comments, that's fine, but to go and do this to someone else is wrong. Of course, then again, remembering who you are and your lack of compassion and common decency, I can well understand why YOU would.

Dani,

You are absolutely correct, and I have edited my inital post to delete the feedback garnered by one of Scouries' stories. My own public feedback is bad enough, and I should not wish this to become a thread that we use to make fun of other people's writing. Rather, it should be, as you rightly point out, a thread where we make fun of our own, through the comments that we get from our "fans." I will swallow my pride, such as I have of it, and PM scouries to apologize.

Returning to our theme, however, this is from Marshtickledkitty's "Best Served Warm and Buttered," a collaboration for which I am half responsible:

Crap
09/18/07 by Anonymous in USA
This story is long on food descrips and short on eroticism. I have no problem with that if it's a non-erotic story. I get metaphor and I get parallelism, but I don't get the story. It does nothing for me. Just blah. White bread, vanilla....touch me here, squeeze me there...blah blah fucking blah.​

As for the hyperbaton, y'all are elevating this poor little thread far beyond its just desserts. Tell the truth - is that just a fancy way of saying "speaking like Yoda?"

 

[MarshAlien]

Oh, I do like this forum.

My very first comment ever on Literotica was about how disgusting my story was and how faggots are the spawn of the hell and how I should be writing about "big black dicks stretching tiny white cunts" instead, all while fucking myself. Also, I'm pretty sure the guy's Lit name was MachoMan, or something involving those words, and he typed in all caps, which was even better. As the product of a loving interracial marriage I became extremely offended and I deleted the comment immediately, but now I kinda wish I hadn't; it was a winner. How this guy wandered all the way through a story marked Gay Male and was surprised at the end is beyond me, but stranger things have happened, I suppose.

Here's another of my favorites, posted to chapter three of The Worst Days:

So Good!!!
09/03/07 By: Anonymous in New York, NY
omg!!! this chapter was hot!!! i cant even count how many times i came reading this. i swear my cum tasted different, it was weird...anyway, wanderwonder, you're fucking awesome!!!!

Not really sure how to respond to that one.

By the way, if we all keep talking about hating scouries (who clearly has severe insecurity issues and was probably was bullied as a child, and seems to be prowling random forums for any mention of his name), does he win? I just want to know, because I'm really super competitive and am thinking of starting a forum for people whose ejaculate tastes different because of my stories, which would so totally be tons, I swear. Good idea, yes?

I see you quoted your good feedback but paraphrased the bad. Bad wanderwonder, bad! Come back here and quote your worst. If we want to read good feedback, we'll all troop over to the Author's Hangout, and find that goody-goody "Best Feedback I ever Got" thread. Where's a drool pot when you need one?

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I see you quoted your good feedback but paraphrased the bad. Bad wanderwonder, bad! Come back here and quote your worst. If we want to read good feedback, we'll all troop over to the Author's Hangout, and find that goody-goody "Best Feedback I ever Got" thread. Where's a drool pot when you need one?

Oh one-eyed pirate (swoons), the mere hint of criticism is enough to give us delicate flowers the vapors. As you know, SW and TK are hurt to the quickif someone suggests there effusion is less thanperfect. Me, I'm a girly who is too scared usually to even put my little potpourris out there.

How we wish we were a big macho man like you. We need the hairy chest to cushion the angst.

My hero

 

[TruthOrDare]

Maybe because you are such an ass that making fun of you is just plain justice. Do you realize some of the things you've done because you and your alts are so smug and arrogant? A lot of people enjoyed reading Montana Summer. It was an awesome storyline that is now no longer available because you couldn't respect another's wishes. You make such a deal out of your work and your supposed "1000 voters". But you know, even during the contests, if someone doesn't want to be involved and they ask to be removed, this site does so. You can't even give that kind of respect to an author who can write you under the table. Oh to hell with it. Ignore is a good thing.

You deleted the stories so you could beat him over the head with it. So predictable.

 

[TxRad]

Tx, speaking as a redhead, you might want to quit while you still have all your parts.

At my age certain parts are naturally missing or malfunctioning. As for quiting on redheads. Bite thy tongue, no way, ain't happenin'.

Sorry for the threadjack but.... Redheads are far more important than feedback, good or bad.

 

[MarshAlien]

Oh one-eyed pirate (swoons), the mere hint of criticism is enough to give us delicate flowers the vapors. As you know, SW and TK are hurt to the quickif someone suggests there effusion is less thanperfect. Me, I'm a girly who is too scared usually to even put my little potpourris out there.

How we wish we were a big macho man like you. We need the hairy chest to cushion the angst.

My hero

Yeah, I'm thinking you're just having some fun with me now, or maybe with them. This is like that hyperbaton stuff - way over my head (I don't even understand how people handle regular batons).

As for SW and TK, don't worry your, um, girly little head. If by their effusions you're talking about their stories, they're both quite capable of handling the critics, and, if the criticism is well-founded, of using it to become even better writers than they are now.

Thank you, by the way, for participating in the Grab them by the balls!... thread as a guest judge. If anyone else wants to stop by and shred some 300-word story beginnings, come on down!

 

[rgraham666]

Slow-sleeping witless wonder art thou, of looks listless, of brightness breft, drooping dull-dropping vine that to my home huddles. Thy turgid tendrils not unlike, my will-less wits in bold and independent venture fail to flourish. Though truth told be, I know not how to raise my wrath the author to overthrow; myself I censure with curse and callous kicks, for her story I have failed thus far to edit. Yet, in hand my heavy hopes, I proffer, penitent, the thrilling three her plea engendered has.

(Just couldn't resist the hyperbaton!)

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow!

If that's hyperbaton I think it should be outlawed by The Geneva Convention.

 

[BlackShanglan]

This story is long on food descrips and short on eroticism.

For me, that's like saying "This is long on red but short on scarlet." Beh.

As for the hyperbaton, y'all are elevating this poor little thread far beyond its just desserts. Tell the truth - is that just a fancy way of saying "speaking like Yoda?"

Aptly, indeed, have you phrased it.

 

[Shitting_Bull]

Now you’re being dishonest sweetie!! Here’s what your good friend proposed on his first post. And he quoted a comment made on one of my stories (in red honey). I didn’t hear any complaints from you then – only snickers. Seems a little two faced to me.

Miss D K said: If we flaunt our own bad comments, that's fine, but to go and do this to someone else is wrong. Of course, then again, remembering who you are and your lack of compassion and common decency, I can well understand why YOU would. Can you understand why the MARSHMAN did it?


From Post #1 by Marshman

Literotica's All-time Best "Worst Public Feedback" List
________________________________________
So sue me. I got tired of constantly seeing "Literotica's All-time 'Most Votes Received' List," scouries's attempt to create a new list where he can be in first place (although, honestly, how you can describe someone as one of "Literotica's Greatest Authors" based on a story that probably isn't even in the top thousand highest-scoring in its category (Incest, surprise, surprise) is beyond me). Anyway, it seems to me we need a category where everyone can compete. And I recall that Diana Rigg (whom we were worshipping over in the Author's Hangout last week) once published a book of really bad reviews.

So I thought, how about really bad public feedback. After all, the Story Feedback Forum is for "Literotica Stories that you love or hate!" And since there are plenty of negative opinions floating around out there, why should I reinvent the wheel? So I invite everyone to submit a nominee for "Worst Public Feedback," on your story, or that of someone you love. Or of someone else. At the end we'll decide which single piece of bad public feedback was the best, and give the recipient some sort of cheap, meaningless award.

The rules are simple: it has to be public, either a public comment or posted in the forum. And there you are.

I'll start off. My worst comment is from Show Moms, Ch. 02 (which currently is barely holding on to its red "H" with a 4.59):
Sorry Mate.
02/19/07 By: Anonymous in USA
You had a great story line with fantastic potential and you let it trickle right through your fingers. Sure wish it could be rewritten by Scorpio44, chiefX39, Rob in AZ, metacarpal or walterio. I guess the hard stuff just isn't in you and it's a bit of a shame since what you have done shows a helluva lot of talent. (score of 00)

My worst forum comment, from scouries himself, on How to Write Romance (4.72):
You have to wonder what the ‘Average Joe’ reader opening this story randomly, thinking a contest story probably should be pretty good, would make of the whole thing. My guess is he’d be clicked out and long gone by the end of the second paragraph.

Which is of course the author’s greatest failing here. He doesn’t care about them. In fact he doesn’t want them to get to the end and vote. You can feel the utter disdain he shows for not only Literotica’s readers but also other authors he clearly feels superior to. He may speak for his “fellow [AH] Romance writers” but certainly not for the vast majority of us.

Surely sir, if you are going to write a story to be entered in a major Literotica competition its sole purpose shouldn’t be to mock the people that you rely on so much for to feed your ego. For yes, even though, like so many of your AH friends, you dismiss the majority of readers as simpletons and perverts, you still crave the rush that comes from having your stories ‘viewed’.

Quite frankly I hope you win the contest. Then this (expletive deleted) story will have to stay on the site forever, a testament to one authors arrogance and pettiness.

Not bad, huh? Still, though, for sheer exuberance, I have to give the nod to a comment from scouries' #1 all-time most votes received story, "Daddy?" I Whispered."(4.50):
THIS
07/07/07 by Anonymous
Was what you've been bragging about? I'm sorry to say I had grown tired with the story midway through the first page and so I scanned it to find the sex, just so my batteries weren't wasted. Thank god for a vibe and Duracell, otherwise this would have been a waste of my time. I came, but not because of you and this so called wonderful story. *shudders* Go learn to write and when you do, come back and try again.(score of 25(!!)

Now that is damn funny.

 

[tickledkitty]

Oh one-eyed pirate (swoons), the mere hint of criticism is enough to give us delicate flowers the vapors. As you know, SW and TK are hurt to the quickif someone suggests there effusion is less thanperfect. Me, I'm a girly who is too scared usually to even put my little potpourris out there.

How we wish we were a big macho man like you. We need the hairy chest to cushion the angst.

My hero

When have I ever been "hurt to the quick" by criticism? Has anyone seen me complain? On the contrary, I value criticism to my writing and even seek it out frequently.

You seem to be somewhat obsessed with taking pot shots at Marsh lately, and I guess that's fine. He's a big boy and can take care of himself, no doubt. But how about leaving my name out of it? Thanks.

 

[sr71plt]

I would think that considering the context of what I discern from this string is the usual reaction to Scouries's stories (which I still haven't read, mind you--and don't really plan to), a vote of 25 percent might constitute a devoted fan.

In a similar vein, I've tried to find a comment I remember to post here that was glowing in its words and then rated the story at 25 percent. Haven't been able to find it yet, though. Anyone else here gotten that sort of mixed response?