Long Distance Relationships

[Lady_Sam]

*Sigh* This goes against every neanderthal instict I have but our right Omahaman2 I'll have to come expose myself sooner of later.....

Lady Sam is my Best Friend.

Wait...you have neanderthal instincts? Well damn...let me rethink this....

I always knew you were a sensitive man. screw the neanderthal.

 

[Daeth_Harrick]

Relax dear... The only ones I can't control are the ones that make me hot and bothered at the sight of a beutiful woman such as yourself. and the ones that make me do silly things like open doors and such...

 

[omahaman2]

Daeth, call me oman everyone else does. geez,jenny even has it as part of her middle name. Congrats on admitting ithttp://beeastarpersonalizedbooks.com/BookCovers/My%20Best%20Friend.JPG

 

[Lady_Sam]

Relax dear... The only ones I can't control are the ones that make me hot and bothered at the sight of a beutiful woman such as yourself. and the ones that make me do silly things like open doors and such...

*(note to self) get promotion so can start saving serious cash. Must move to canada* If you're trying to scare me away with such talk it isn't working.

 

[millhouseBob]

Do you have any advice on real-time meeting?

I've been chatting with a woman since July. Must be a story repeated a miilion times - we're both married but not, shall we say, satisfied. It started out just flirting in chat rooms, got to be a habit and deepened into a real friendship. We are more open with each other than anyone else in our lives - I can show my deepest feelings and she is always supportive. It feels like this amazing connection. Oh - I didn't say yet, but she lives over a 1000 miles away, at this point see this LDR as our only option.

So, what experiences have people had meeting face-to-face after getting to know each other this way?

My best to all,
Millhouse

 

[JennyOmanHill]

This thread is rolling!

Daeth and Lady Sam... You are both showing similar signs of love for each other in your posts. The only suggestion I can come up with for you both is to keep communicating, and, as hard as it might be, try your best not to look too far ahead. Don't try and solve ALL the problems facing you two. Just handle each day one at a time. (Much easier said than done!)

My dear Oman: you are my BEST and most loving friend. You know you're always in my heart, and I count on you for advice and support in all that happens.

Welcome MilhouseBob! My personal experience does not include any other "significants" in our lives, and I realize it makes things a lot less stressful for us.

For me, I had to control my excitement, rather than my doubts, as I waited to meet Oman. Try NOT to think ahead too much at this time. You are both committed to others in some way. Just meet. Keep in mind all the words you have both shared, and how your heart feels when you hear/see them, then just look into each other's gaze. It was a most magical moment for me, and one that I relive over and over again.

 

[hatara]

millhouseBob

To be very honest if you plan on staying with your current spouses meeting might indeed be very tough. Even if you talk about whether or not you are going to have sex once you meet it may happen anyway.

Then both of you will have to deal with that and the guilt associated with it. You talk about everything else make sure you talk all of this through with each other. Also realize that no matter how much you talk about things once you meet your hearts may take over anyway.

Think about what you want not only now but in the long run. Good luck to you and your lady friend and I wish you all of the best.

 

[millhouseBob]

Thanks Jenny and Hatara.....

your words are bracing - like a splash of cold water on my face. It seems what we (I at least) do online always stays online - I can't discuss this with anyone I know but I find people online can be so supportive. I think it's wonderful that people are so open here. I think this brings out the best (and unfortunately sometimes the worst) in people.


Again thanks for your advice and support!

Millhouse

 

[twodogs]

Re: millhouseBob

To be very honest if you plan on staying with your current spouses meeting might indeed be very tough. Even if you talk about whether or not you are going to have sex once you meet it may happen anyway.

Then both of you will have to deal with that and the guilt associated with it. You talk about everything else make sure you talk all of this through with each other. Also realize that no matter how much you talk about things once you meet your hearts may take over anyway.

Think about what you want not only now but in the long run. Good luck to you and your lady friend and I wish you all of the best.

No truer words spoken

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Thanks Jenny and Hatara.....

your words are bracing - like a splash of cold water on my face. It seems what we (I at least) do online always stays online - I can't discuss this with anyone I know but I find people online can be so supportive. I think it's wonderful that people are so open here. I think this brings out the best (and unfortunately sometimes the worst) in people.

We are commited to meeting and we both worry that "once [we] meet [our] hearts may take over" But we can't not meet- i don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what i had missed.

Again thanks for your advice and support!

Millhouse

Good luck, Bob, and I agree that you MUST meet, rather than living with any "what if" kinda feelings!

Noticing that the LTR/Tiger and Smiley "countdowns" are REALLY moving along!! Hang in there!!!!

 

[Guest]

Cyber affairs, IMO are real affairs. You share the most intimate moments with your online lover just as anyone would in a real life relationship. I personally don't believe its fair for the SO not to know about what's going on. But like you say Bob, that's for another thread.

Meeting your online lover can have a whole new ripple effect. I'm sure you two have shared many moments together online, and it would seem natural to finally meet if given the chance.

There are only a few possiblilties and it all depends on how far you two will go to be unfaithfull.

You can meet, not have sex, get to know each other face to face and fall totally in love. Return home, and continue the online affair because you're committed somewhat in your marriage.

Or, go home, and realize there is more to life than a loveless marriage and start a new beginning with her.

Or, meet, know you're in love, have sex, and continue the online affair, which I'm sure will make you want to see more of her.

Or, know as soon as you meet her, she will be a very good friend, end of story.

I too am in a LDR, 2000+ miles apart for over 4 years. There is nothing more he wants then for me to move there. It's not that easy, when you have family, a home, and a decent job. Neither one of us is committed to anyone. We see each other several times a year, and maybe someday I'll do it. We also have immigration to deal with, and believe me, that's not an easy task.

My advise to you Bob, is meet her without any expectations. It's when the meeting is over that you'll have to come to some sort of conclusion.

Good Luck Bob. It's a nervous scary happy confused sort of situation to go through.

 

[mayi]

millhousebob

i met the man of my dreams......he asked me to never contact him again one week after we met.........he was not ready for what happened between us. please think long and hard about the meeting, it will change your life forever.

mayi

 

[Cierra_Dessert]

Cyber affairs, IMO are real affairs. You share the most intimate moments with your online lover just as anyone would in a real life relationship. I personally don't believe its fair for the SO not to know about what's going on. But like you say Bob, that's for another thread.

That was me!

Damn! I didn't realize I was logged out! I hate that!

Sorry bout the unregistered post, it annoys he heck out of me!

 

[JennyOmanHill]

That was me!

Damn! I didn't realize I was logged out! I hate that!

Sorry bout the unregistered post, it annoys he heck out of me!

Each situation is separate and different. I think you've brought up a lot of the different possibilities, Cierra, especially:

"My advise to you Bob, is meet her without any expectations. It's when the meeting is over that you'll have to come to some sort of conclusion.
Good Luck Bob. It's a nervous scary happy confused sort of situation to go through".

NO EXPECTATIONS!! I struggled with that, especially as our countdown to meeting reached days, then hours. I wouldn't trade a second of the uncertainties or pain that's involved, and still try to keep my mind as open as possible to what might happen in the future.

In my case, Mayi, I will admit that Oman truly became the man of my dreams when that elevator door opened outside my door. We discussed beforehand that the "worst" that would happen is that we would be lifelong friends. The instant I looked into his eyes, I knew we were going to be more than that!

 

[hatara]

I will never forget when that apartment door opened and I was finally able to see him for real the first time. To look into his eyes, omg, I felt like I had finally found what I had been looking for. To have him hug me and hold me, it was heaven. To kiss him for the first time. If my heart wasn't already lost by then it would have been then.

 

[Lady_Sam]

Re: This thread is rolling!

Daeth and Lady Sam... You are both showing similar signs of love for each other in your posts. The only suggestion I can come up with for you both is to keep communicating, and, as hard as it might be, try your best not to look too far ahead. Don't try and solve ALL the problems facing you two. Just handle each day one at a time. (Much easier said than done!)

Oh you're so right Jenny. And we realize there are a lot of hurtles. The least of which is the fact we live in two different countries. If there is one thing we have always agreed on was to take it slow, one step at a time. We were in no hurry and still aren't, though we do want to get the meeting part over and see.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Re: Re: This thread is rolling!

Oh you're so right Jenny. And we realize there are a lot of hurtles. The least of which is the fact we live in two different countries. If there is one thing we have always agreed on was to take it slow, one step at a time. We were in no hurry and still aren't, though we do want to get the meeting part over and see.

It had been suggested early on in our LDR that we not wait too long before meeting, since the reality of really touching and seeing the other person is an important verification when so many emotions are involved.

Some couples, however, waited for years and are now happily together ever after!

You two really seem to be on the right track, and I wish you both success. Hope the time moves quickly for you before you can actually meet

 

[Daeth_Harrick]

Originally posted by JennyOmanHill

Thanks Jenny, Your so right. And yeah we are taking it slow. At least as far as the final union goes. We are trying our best to get the intial meeting to happen as soon as possible but even then it will be a bit. She's in cali and I'm in Ottawa On. Canada. With 2800 miles (4500 km) between us it takes a bit of planning.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Thanks Jenny, Your so right. And yeah we are taking it slow. At least as far as the final union goes. We are trying our best to get the intial meeting to happen as soon as possible but even then it will be a bit. She's in cali and I'm in Ottawa On. Canada. With 2800 miles (4500 km) between us it takes a bit of planning.

Planning can be an exciting part of your relationship right now; another way for you to keep communicating, and keeping the hope glowing.

Ottawa is a beautiful City!

Do you realize you're about to lose your LIT virginity?? Congrats!

 

[Daeth_Harrick]

Hehehe It's been lost.... Over in the Milestones thread... Lady Sam tricked it out me...... *Blushes*

 

[Lady_Sam]

Hehehe It's been lost.... Over in the Milestones thread... Lady Sam tricked it out me...... *Blushes*

*beams, waving the picture* You want it don't you babe?

 

[Daeth_Harrick]

Actually Babe, I'd rather have you but it will have to do for now... And as to my AV Well I'm hoping to have something similar to StndTmplPilots.

 

[Lady_Sam]

Hmmm....yes well....hrm...who would you get as your partner?

 

[Daeth_Harrick]

Hoping it would be your first public showing on Lit (And hopefully not the last......) *Grins*

 

[Lady_Sam]

Hoping it would be your first public showing on Lit (And hopefully not the last......) *Grins*

*blushes* Oh my...well I'm an enthusiastic volunteer *starts rummaging for change to add to the piggy bank* That was August?