Long Distance Relationships
- Thread starter JennyOmanHill
- Start date
naughtygirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2000
- Posts
- 6,884
Oman and Jenny....I thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words...I know that the people here on Lit are so good...that is why Im on the playground regularly and I will continue to stop by, if only to wish everyone well.
There is a development though. I became concerned tonight with not hearing from him. Its just unlike him. For whatever reason, I cant believe he would not call me or email me or something. I had a friend tonight try to call the business he owns...and no one answered. His place is open til 10 pm PST so it was very strange that no one would answer there. We tried all night and nothing. No one answered. Tried his cell phones and still not answering those. Still no response from the emails and IMs I have sent. So that led me to believe that something is seriously wrong and worry gripped me. I have been worried....but mostly I just thought he was rejecting me. (Foolish me for having such little faith. Maybe I will regret saying this later....but for now Im upset with myself for being so angry...especially when i have no clue what is going on with him).
Anyway, maybe an overreaction, but I called the police department where he is..gave them the address and they are going to check on his status. Just wanna make sure. and if hes fine, then I know. and if hes not...well Im not going there. But I need to know something.
I will keep you posted....Im sure he is fine...but I wanted to make sure.
I wish everyone well here! Thanks again.
There is a development though. I became concerned tonight with not hearing from him. Its just unlike him. For whatever reason, I cant believe he would not call me or email me or something. I had a friend tonight try to call the business he owns...and no one answered. His place is open til 10 pm PST so it was very strange that no one would answer there. We tried all night and nothing. No one answered. Tried his cell phones and still not answering those. Still no response from the emails and IMs I have sent. So that led me to believe that something is seriously wrong and worry gripped me. I have been worried....but mostly I just thought he was rejecting me. (Foolish me for having such little faith. Maybe I will regret saying this later....but for now Im upset with myself for being so angry...especially when i have no clue what is going on with him).
Anyway, maybe an overreaction, but I called the police department where he is..gave them the address and they are going to check on his status. Just wanna make sure. and if hes fine, then I know. and if hes not...well Im not going there. But I need to know something.
I will keep you posted....Im sure he is fine...but I wanted to make sure.
I wish everyone well here! Thanks again.
chromefreak
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2002
- Posts
- 817
Hug for Nastygirl
(((Nastygirl)))
Sorry to hear it, hon. Don't really know what to tell you except I hope he's alright. I don't really know what to tell you, except he should have the courtesy to say "I'm really busy, but we'll talk when I can make time" if that's the case, or at least tell you he wants things to end. Sometimes men are cowards that way. Maybe he's simply temporarily forgotten what an important role communication plays in these things.
I hope you'll remind him next time you speak to him. Be strong, stand up for yourself, but make sure you fully understand the situation before making any sudden decisions. It may be tempting to throw him to the lions, but let him know you need honest answers from him first.
Sounds like you're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, being realistic about it, and looking at it from all sides which is about the best thing you can do at this point.
Best wishes, and if you have feelings to vent, re-read Omahaman2's beautiful post, and say whatever you have to get off your chest...you're in the right place.
(((Nastygirl)))
Sorry to hear it, hon. Don't really know what to tell you except I hope he's alright. I don't really know what to tell you, except he should have the courtesy to say "I'm really busy, but we'll talk when I can make time" if that's the case, or at least tell you he wants things to end. Sometimes men are cowards that way. Maybe he's simply temporarily forgotten what an important role communication plays in these things.
I hope you'll remind him next time you speak to him. Be strong, stand up for yourself, but make sure you fully understand the situation before making any sudden decisions. It may be tempting to throw him to the lions, but let him know you need honest answers from him first.
Sounds like you're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, being realistic about it, and looking at it from all sides which is about the best thing you can do at this point.
Best wishes, and if you have feelings to vent, re-read Omahaman2's beautiful post, and say whatever you have to get off your chest...you're in the right place.
naughtygirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2000
- Posts
- 6,884
Thank you Chrome Freak, I appreciate those hugs.
Ok so here is the update. I called back the police department, they said they made contact with him and that he is fine.
So last night, well last night was rough. It completely boggles my mind that he has not had the common decency to contact me even after I sent the police there. I was seriously worried and now worry has turned to extreme anger and sadness that he has treated me this way. Never would I ever have guessed that he was this type of person. and it has made me question what it so very wrong with me to be treated this way. I feel like an idiot for ever worrying about him. (Yes I know I shouldnt.)
A very wise friend said to me last night that the only thing I have done wrong in this situation was: it moved too fast and I didnt verify. and this is true. I fell for all of his bullshit.
I originally started lurking here to get some clues as to how to possibly proceed with this relationship. At the time he was stressing honesty and communication to me. Two things you need to succeed in this type of relationship. Obviously, in the end he was too much of a coward to stick to this.
I wish you all well and I hope that you will all have positive outcomes to your LDRs.
My best,
NG
Ok so here is the update. I called back the police department, they said they made contact with him and that he is fine.
So last night, well last night was rough. It completely boggles my mind that he has not had the common decency to contact me even after I sent the police there. I was seriously worried and now worry has turned to extreme anger and sadness that he has treated me this way. Never would I ever have guessed that he was this type of person. and it has made me question what it so very wrong with me to be treated this way. I feel like an idiot for ever worrying about him. (Yes I know I shouldnt.)
A very wise friend said to me last night that the only thing I have done wrong in this situation was: it moved too fast and I didnt verify. and this is true. I fell for all of his bullshit.
I originally started lurking here to get some clues as to how to possibly proceed with this relationship. At the time he was stressing honesty and communication to me. Two things you need to succeed in this type of relationship. Obviously, in the end he was too much of a coward to stick to this.
I wish you all well and I hope that you will all have positive outcomes to your LDRs.
My best,
NG
meop79
Wandering.....
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2002
- Posts
- 26,945
1stTwistedSistr
Standing in the shadows..
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Posts
- 6,225
Again...
Well, it looks as if it's finally going to happen... This should be the last obstacle in the continueing saga of Allan and Cherrie. I think i had mentioned before that he had been detained for two weeks for being in Germany illegally... well, now they've got his passport in Frankfurt so he has an appointment on Friday to go pick it up.... All taxes are paid, all attorney fees covered, and Friday is the last thing that he'll ever have to do in Germany except to board a flight to me and my waiting arms. He should be here sometime Friday night or early Saturday. Please pray for me that it will go without a hitch this time.
Just wanted to fill you all in on the progress we're making... God I can't wait! I keep telling myself not to get too excited because we all know what happens when I have done that in the past, but it looks like it may really come down this time and I just can't help myself! Wish us luck!
Allan Cherrie
Well, it looks as if it's finally going to happen... This should be the last obstacle in the continueing saga of Allan and Cherrie. I think i had mentioned before that he had been detained for two weeks for being in Germany illegally... well, now they've got his passport in Frankfurt so he has an appointment on Friday to go pick it up.... All taxes are paid, all attorney fees covered, and Friday is the last thing that he'll ever have to do in Germany except to board a flight to me and my waiting arms. He should be here sometime Friday night or early Saturday. Please pray for me that it will go without a hitch this time.
Just wanted to fill you all in on the progress we're making... God I can't wait! I keep telling myself not to get too excited because we all know what happens when I have done that in the past, but it looks like it may really come down this time and I just can't help myself! Wish us luck!
Allan
Cherrie
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
Re: Again...
http://www.discountballoons.com/10277%20Good%20Luck-l.jpg
1stTwistedSistr said:Well, it looks as if it's finally going to happen... This should be the last obstacle in the continueing saga of Allan and Cherrie. I think i had mentioned before that he had been detained for two weeks for being in Germany illegally... well, now they've got his passport in Frankfurt so he has an appointment on Friday to go pick it up.... All taxes are paid, all attorney fees covered, and Friday is the last thing that he'll ever have to do in Germany except to board a flight to me and my waiting arms. He should be here sometime Friday night or early Saturday. Please pray for me that it will go without a hitch this time.
Just wanted to fill you all in on the progress we're making... God I can't wait! I keep telling myself not to get too excited because we all know what happens when I have done that in the past, but it looks like it may really come down this time and I just can't help myself! Wish us luck!
Allan
http://www.discountballoons.com/10277%20Good%20Luck-l.jpg
1stTwistedSistr
Standing in the shadows..
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Posts
- 6,225
Re: Re: Again...
You're such a sweetheart! Thanks!
Cherrie Allan
omahaman2 said:
You're such a sweetheart! Thanks!Cherrie
Allan
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
For Cherrie and Alan
http://www.eirefirst.com/clipart/gifs/Shamrock%20-%20Good%20Luck.gif
HUGS to Ladyhawke, Meop and Oman!
http://www.eirefirst.com/clipart/gifs/Shamrock%20-%20Good%20Luck.gif
HUGS to Ladyhawke, Meop and Oman!
1stTwistedSistr
Standing in the shadows..
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Posts
- 6,225
Thank you!
Jenny and Ladyhawke,
Thanks so much! I feel like I've cried wolf here too many times to be believed anymore! But I swear it's true! *lol* There really can't be much more that could go wrong with him getting here.(knock on wood!) Every other angle has been covered! It's been like living Murphy's Law! I'll let you all know on.... oh.... Monday maybe? *lol*
Cherrie
Jenny and Ladyhawke,
Thanks so much! I feel like I've cried wolf here too many times to be believed anymore! But I swear it's true! *lol* There really can't be much more that could go wrong with him getting here.(knock on wood!) Every other angle has been covered! It's been like living Murphy's Law! I'll let you all know on.... oh.... Monday maybe? *lol*
Cherrie
1stTwistedSistr
Standing in the shadows..
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2002
- Posts
- 6,225
Re: Re: Thank you!
But of course, after we're married!
You know... it's been that long anyway... That doesn't actually sound like a bad idea! I'll have to see what Allan thinks of that idea... *lol*
CA
Lady_Sam said:
I'm so happy for you Cherrie, my thoughts will be with you and may the fates keep Alan on his way to you this friday. Enjoy a long weekend in bed
But of course, after we're married! You know... it's been that long anyway... That doesn't actually sound like a bad idea! I'll have to see what Allan thinks of that idea... *lol*
C
A
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
Wishing all the LDRs (past and future) a wonderful weekend
I also hope there will be good news from Cherrie soon! Wishing you all the best!
I also hope there will be good news from Cherrie soon! Wishing you all the best!
Ladyhawke
Smitten Kitten
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2001
- Posts
- 1,049
I just need to vent...
I'm just feeling sort of bummed today...he said he would call and didn't...it was my birthday. But to be fair...he did send me roses and a card they just got here a day early...and I did call him to say thank you...and he said he'd try and call. I guess I can understand he was busy (he had his daughter and niece today) but still I feel a little down about it. Now of course I wonder if he really cares...God I hate having doubts...do you all have them? How do you deal with them? I try not to let them dominate..but it's hard.
Hugs to you all....thanks for listening to my ravings
I'm just feeling sort of bummed today...he said he would call and didn't...it was my birthday. But to be fair...he did send me roses and a card they just got here a day early...and I did call him to say thank you...and he said he'd try and call. I guess I can understand he was busy (he had his daughter and niece today) but still I feel a little down about it. Now of course I wonder if he really cares...God I hate having doubts...do you all have them? How do you deal with them? I try not to let them dominate..but it's hard.
Hugs to you all....thanks for listening to my ravings
Barely__There
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2002
- Posts
- 860
I got nothing on V-Day, ecards on mothers day (???) and nothing on my B-day.
Good plausible reasons for all, but it still sucks.
When what you have are printed words, and you can't see the eyes, facial expression, or other body language, doubt creeps in really quickly.
He recently changed phone numbers, and I don't have the new one. I have a feeling it's the beginning of the pulling away.
Good plausible reasons for all, but it still sucks.
When what you have are printed words, and you can't see the eyes, facial expression, or other body language, doubt creeps in really quickly.
He recently changed phone numbers, and I don't have the new one. I have a feeling it's the beginning of the pulling away.
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
constant communication that is truthful completely is the only way to erase any doubts because in an LDR that is all you have between visits.Jenny and I worked on developing a rapport where we could discuss anything with complete trust and understanding. Talk about it.Co mmunication is the foundation of any relationship but especially LDRs. Jenny even accepted me when she found out i simetime leave cap off toothpaste and omg leave seat up.
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 11,729
Re: Again...
Cherrie, I am happy that things are back on track for you and Allan. Please keep us posted on your progress. And make sure that you take plenty of wedding pictures cause I want to see them.
I hope all my LDR biddies are well and happy. I am fine, I have plenty to keep me busy. My main posting area is the BDSM thread, so I post most of my activities there.
Ebony
1stTwistedSistr said:Well, it looks as if it's finally going to happen... This should be the last obstacle in the continueing saga of Allan and Cherrie. I think i had mentioned before that he had been detained for two weeks for being in Germany illegally... well, now they've got his passport in Frankfurt so he has an appointment on Friday to go pick it up.... All taxes are paid, all attorney fees covered, and Friday is the last thing that he'll ever have to do in Germany except to board a flight to me and my waiting arms. He should be here sometime Friday night or early Saturday. Please pray for me that it will go without a hitch this time.
Just wanted to fill you all in on the progress we're making... God I can't wait! I keep telling myself not to get too excited because we all know what happens when I have done that in the past, but it looks like it may really come down this time and I just can't help myself! Wish us luck!
Allan
Cherrie, I am happy that things are back on track for you and Allan. Please keep us posted on your progress. And make sure that you take plenty of wedding pictures cause I want to see them.
I hope all my LDR biddies are well and happy. I am fine, I have plenty to keep me busy. My main posting area is the BDSM thread, so I post most of my activities there.
Ebony
Ebonyfire
Ball Stretcher
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 11,729
Re: I just need to vent...
Happy belated birthday, Ladyhawke!
Ebony
Ladyhawke said:I'm just feeling sort of bummed today...he said he would call and didn't...it was my birthday. But to be fair...he did send me roses and a card they just got here a day early...and I did call him to say thank you...and he said he'd try and call. I guess I can understand he was busy (he had his daughter and niece today) but still I feel a little down about it. Now of course I wonder if he really cares...God I hate having doubts...do you all have them? How do you deal with them? I try not to let them dominate..but it's hard.
Hugs to you all....thanks for listening to my ravings
Happy belated birthday, Ladyhawke!
Ebony
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
Dear Ladyhawke
http://www.cyberkisses.com/platinum/images/images2/belatedturtle2t.jpg
I agree with Oman about the importance of open and truthful communication! I think it's natural to feel a bit anxious when an expected call doesn't come through (especially on your special day), but I think you really do understand that things are busy at his end.
I needed to work on not blowing things out of proportion in the beginning of our "connection"; the mind can play tricks on you if you find yourself thinking too much!
Try deep breaths and listening to your heart!
Hi Barely There and Ebony! (I wouldn't like the idea of not having his new number though!) Try to communicate anything that bothers you, since distance sometimes makes small things appear bigger.
I'd much rather hear that something isn't working out instead of building up all sorts of scenes in my mind! The truth sometimes hurts, but it's better in the long run to face up to it sooner than later.
http://www.cyberkisses.com/platinum/images/images2/belatedturtle2t.jpg
I agree with Oman about the importance of open and truthful communication! I think it's natural to feel a bit anxious when an expected call doesn't come through (especially on your special day), but I think you really do understand that things are busy at his end.
I needed to work on not blowing things out of proportion in the beginning of our "connection"; the mind can play tricks on you if you find yourself thinking too much!
Try deep breaths and listening to your heart!
Hi Barely There and Ebony! (I wouldn't like the idea of not having his new number though!) Try to communicate anything that bothers you, since distance sometimes makes small things appear bigger.
I'd much rather hear that something isn't working out instead of building up all sorts of scenes in my mind! The truth sometimes hurts, but it's better in the long run to face up to it sooner than later.
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
Ladyhawke said:
Good to hear that, Ladyhawke! There are days that the spirit starts drooping a bit; talking always helps though!
beths-virtue
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2002
- Posts
- 253
wow, thanks ....
stuck in the middle of a very new ldr right now, with huge events on the horizon, and ,i have been missing him all day , but , i have to admit , reading through all the encouragement on here, really helped out bunches, thanks all who have posted....
oh, and Jenny and Oman, i been voyeuristicly peeking at you two for some time, silently rooting for all to go well, ever since you both were so kind to jewelz, when she was so nervous.
Beth
stuck in the middle of a very new ldr right now, with huge events on the horizon, and ,i have been missing him all day , but , i have to admit , reading through all the encouragement on here, really helped out bunches, thanks all who have posted....
oh, and Jenny and Oman, i been voyeuristicly peeking at you two for some time, silently rooting for all to go well, ever since you both were so kind to jewelz, when she was so nervous.
Beth
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2001
- Posts
- 11,151
Re: wow, thanks ....
Welcome, Beth!
http://www.millenniumwedding.co.uk/img/metal-good-luck.gif
Thanks for cheering us on! Wishing you all the best in your LDR, and hoping this thread has given you some insight into both the ups and downs many of us have experienced.
This is a good support group here at LIT!
beths-virtue said:
Welcome, Beth!
http://www.millenniumwedding.co.uk/img/metal-good-luck.gif
Thanks for cheering us on! Wishing you all the best in your LDR, and hoping this thread has given you some insight into both the ups and downs many of us have experienced.
This is a good support group here at LIT!
Similar threads
