How's the City? Have you built a snowman?
I'm sure I muttered that I was just kidding...
Come here, I'll heat up yer balls.
See? I know you too well. When you offer to do something nice for me, I am automatically suspicious. It might have something to do with the time you offered to take intimate photos of me and then you sent them to every major porn website in the world.
I think if you're ever nice to me, I'll slip into shock.
Well true... I did receive a cheque for £0.64p - royalties. The grand total of two people watched my video. You were one.
The other one was my cleaner who hasn't returned since... I'm sure it's just co-incidence...
On a different note, yesterday we were out having lunch (Toby Carvery - yum!) and my boy dropped a couple of peas off his plate. They fell onto his jumper and he looked up at me and said "I peed myself". He had no idea why all the adults were laughing, bless him.
(the staff know I'm fucking them up slowly ).God no - that's just asking for trouble to do that
Earlier, they were jumping on each other and holding each other's faces. I said "Ugh, you'd better not be snogging" and he cracked up. He doesn't even know what snogging is, but he thinks the word is really funny. He thinks it's some sort of snoring, as they both started to make snorting noises. Of course, he might go into school and tell them he was snogging his brother...
Haha!! Oh dear... I fear a visit from Social Services to discuss how you are corrupting them.
Don't worry - they'll probably won't send you to prison!
Meh. I'll get to have more time for reading if I do.
Gawd, I'm yawning! I'm such a lightweight lately. How's your sleeping going?
But. What if I *want* to drop the soap???
Nah, it's something to do with the non-stop days I've had lately. Nuffin to do with you. Promise. Really.
Hmm, usual stuff? Yeah, those gimps can get really demanding. Just zip their mouth slits. You also need to invest in a better padded wardrobe.
If you do drop the soap, don't come crying to me when they won't do any of that kinky shit you like.
Oh right. Kick a guy when he's down - you could have fibbed y'know! Sheesh
To be honest, I've not much trouble from the gimps. It's the worry that I contracted an STD from that hooker gangbang I took part in. I'm itchy.
I'm just glad I could afford a better class of hooker instead of having to make do with the 'ladies' that charge a penny chew.I can't afford munchies though. The most I can afford is Jelly Tots or a couple of Freddo's.
Ooooh!!! Jelly tots!! I'll do you for jelly tots!! Penny sweets are slowly disappearing, you'll have to upgrade to 2p sweets soon. The foam bananas and shrimps are now 2p, and flying saucers are 3p i think.
Try to behave, eh?The thieving bastards! Two peace?! Pfft.
Go on then. I'll offer a packet of Jelly Tots for 24 hours. It's a fair offer.
Right - it's bedtime for me. I'm determined to get to sleep tonight - even if I have to hit myself over the head.
Goodnight trouble.
Anyone else allowed to join in?
