Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Pad_Foot]

That’s easy to answer! If you buy extension cords that are not the brand, we like, then we can violate your warranty, and then resell a different kind of warranty. That’s even more expensive.

Well? How many of your extension cords can I string together then??

 

[snexxer]

I'm writing a book called.
"Perverts Online".
I'm using the site for source material.

 

[Taegul]

And you spell my name B. R. A. D. P. I. T. T.

 

[snexxer]

You spell my name E. S. M. E. R. A. L. D. A.

Oh i was going to use pseudonym for you all.
You were going to be Hot Boss Lady.

And you spell my name B. R. A. D. P. I. T. T.

You were going to be Captain Birdseye.

 

[Taegul]

Oh i was going to use pseudonym for you all.
You were going to be Hot Boss Lady.

You were going to be Captain Birdseye.

That's too long. A complaint I hear from the ladies ALL THE DAMN TIME.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I’m sorry everyone. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m not really who you think I am. I actually work for a worldwide conglomerate that deals with car warranties, and I’ve been trying to reach you…

Damnit!!!! Tricked again!

 

[snexxer]

I demand recognition, where recognition is due! If this book on pervert is going to be published, I need my name to be properly spelled! Lol

Ok i promise to use your name correctly.

So your name is Esmeralda, which is an anagram of the description for your eyes.
As Emerald.

That's too long. A complaint I hear from the ladies ALL THE DAMN TIME.

You need to use shorter rope.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I only got the extended car warranty because @marriedexec2023 used her "phone sex" tone with me, ok maybe it wasn't her "phone sex" tone but a guy can dream...

 

[Taegul]

I beat Tiger Woods in a full game of golf using only a baseball bat for drives, a pool cue for my short game, and my penis for putting.

 

[Taegul]

I never, and I mean never, post twice in a row.

 

[johnnieblue44]

When I reached my sixties, I found that both my sex drive and my staying power never diminished.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

I haven't been walking round with a hard on all day.

Also, I'm not inexplicably horny.

 

[Deleted member 6666935]

Women and men alike all find me attractive and want to have sex with me.

 

[n2anal78]

I have never lost an argument with my wife

 

[RipleNStllWtr]

One day I will be the third in a MMF weekend and have the time of my wife. Also, woman want me and fish fear me.

 

[PandemicReader8]

There is nobody here that I am into.

 

[crazychemgirl]

There is nobody here that I am into.

Ooooh … interesting

 

[crazychemgirl]

I am 100% in control of my anxiety

 

[n2anal78]

Dang... left my congressional medal of honor behind on my last trip up to the international space station where I work as a zero-g reproductive specialist

 

[n2anal78]

And I never require editting

 

[Taegul]

I was going to buy a Porsche 911 Turbo S, but I just couldn't bring myself to buy a car that's slower 0-60 than I can run it.

 

[JillPaula]

I was an innocent virgin when I got married..... both times.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I like to take things very slow when I start messaging a woman...

 

[lilmissdarling]

I hate Halloween. And I enjoy plain, missionary sex.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

I enjoy plain vanilla sex and do not enjoy a submissive woman.