Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[EctoJohn]

I was actually pharaoh of Egypt once, but I forgot.

 

[AnomalyLady]

I do NOT know how to pick out a perfect watermelon. And I def don't draw attention while hitting the watermelons looking for mine.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I do NOT know how to pick out a perfect watermelon. And I def don't draw attention while hitting the watermelons looking for mine.

Haha my watermelons need checked

Didn't just learn when a mango is ripe

 

[QwertyMaster]

I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

 

[kathyisgr65]

Have a wooden boob

 

[ScarletDaisy]

I won Wimbledon. Twice.

 

[Jodaily]

I do an awesome tango

 

[Cindy027]

I am the worlds foremost etymologist and my specialty pertains to food words.

 

[LexiSmiles92]

I have an adorable tattoo of a sunshine near my unmentionables ... it looks nothing like a creepy spider.

Lawsuit pending

 

[lil_jenni]

I am sweet and demure and do not curse all the fucking time.

 

[ShaneoD]

I haven't been a complete hornball for the last three days

 

[Jodaily]

I hate it when people dm me.

 

[Cindy027]

^^^ I'm an Irish bus inspector.

 

[alexgriffin74]

I'm tall, dark and handsome

 

[Melodi24]

I'm the best cook ever and always get things done right away

 

[dkak001]

I'm only here for the articles. I don't even look at the pictures!

 

[Cindy027]

I don't even look at the pictures!

What pictures

 

[Jodaily]

I too have never gazed upon vile pictures of various forbidden fruits, fornicating madly and spraying sticky fluids all over upturned smiling faces.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have a 12 inch cock, but the Rooster Society of America refuses to acknowledge its size.

 

[Jodaily]

Yeah sure, prove it. Mines bigger.

 

[NyxAvatar68]

I am a huge fan of ranch dressing. It's my go to salad dressing.

 

[LexiSmiles92]

I’ve never been in a car accident that was my fault. Or 5

 

[Taegul]

I'm really starting to get tired of complete strangers hounding me for autographs and pictures. After 30 years at the very top, I'm seriously considering retiring from the movie industry.

 

[ALovelyNudist]

I’m starting to get fed up with work

 

[LexiSmiles92]

i really hate that I get summers off