Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I wish I'd had triplets or quadruplets instead of twins. More babies are always better. But I'm happy it was at least twins, because I'd be bored out of my fucking mind with just one baby to deal with.
 
I do not have the standard Lit issued 10 inch cock with a 1 inch radius
 
It does not sexually thrill me when someone texts, “I will be 30 minutes late,” when I will be 15 minutes late.
 
I am very happy that the chopper is fixed this week. Driving out to the Hamptons house is such a drag this time of year.
 
I'm a professional magician. My best trick is making a woman's clothes disappear.
 
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