Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I used to be a frog, but a princess kissed me to reverse the spell.
Sadly I found out afterwards that she's really only into amphibians.
 
I am one of the recipients for the Fields Medal in 2026, displacing one of; Sheldon Cooper, Will Hunting, Lisa Simpson and Cuthbert Calculus
 
I am the third place winner of the latest Magic the Gathering World Championship.
 
I cloned myself four times just so I could form the greatest boy band to ever exist.
 
I am the lone survivor of an airplane crash over an African jungle where I was captured by a tribe of Amazon warrior women who used me for breeding over and over again before I escaped. They fed me grapes and meat skewers and other fresh fruits and vegetables while we lazed around a campfire laughing and telling stories. It was torture, pure and simple. They had me inseminate the entire tribe. It was brutal. And then they found out I'd had a vasectomy many years ago. Do you have any idea how hard it is to run barefoot with just a loincloth and flowers in your hair?
 
Because I have woken so early I have utilised the 4 extra hours doing productive things.
 
Back
Top