The 'How To' Contest Support Thread

[oggbashan]

Og,
I thought my proposal would be OK until I read this:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story.
Now I'm not so sure. It's the dialogue - a bloody giveaway.

I checked the official announcement:

Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story. All topics are acceptable provided they fall within Literotica Submission Guidelines. We will not accept How-To submissions that teach people how to do acts that are illegal in the United States. Pieces submitted to "How-To" that do not fit the category will be rejected. Work submitted to categories other than "How-To" will not be entered into the contest.

As me, of course I am likely to push the envelope of what is allowed to the limit and even if I get past Laurel the readers will vote me down.

Dialogue per se is not necessarily barred. If Plato can use dialogue to instruct, why can't we?

"Can you tell me, O revered teacher, why some women like smaller men?"

"Of course, little cricket, it is because...(whispers in ear)"

"Is that so? How, O wise one, can I find such women?"

"Alas, tiny tim, it is like counting the grains of sand on a beach to seek such women. You must wait until they find you..."

Og

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Selena.. I just read 'Stay'. Amazing!!!

Thank you!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Og,
I thought my proposal would be OK until I read this:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story.
Now I'm not so sure. It's the dialogue - a bloody giveaway.

I saw that

You can always try to slip it in, Neo... see if they let it by... worth a try!

 

[drksideofthemoon]

It's okay. At the present moment I guarantee yours will still score higher

Hmmmm...if only I had an idea.....

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Thank you!

I second RebeccaMorton on that, Stay was awesome...Well done!

 

[Aurora Black]

I would accept 'How to get a date with Britney Spears' and 'How To push my pud up her poop-chute' but whether either would win?

How crass.

 

[oggbashan]

How crass.

No more crass than many of the stories already available on Literotica but the second one would be ideal for the DurtGurl consortium.

I'm off to read Plato's dialogues to seek inspiration.

Og the irrepressible

 

[Aurora Black]

No more crass than many of the stories already available on Literotica but the second one would be ideal for the DurtGurl consortium.

I'm off to read Plato's dialogues to seek inspiration.

Og the irrepressible

Read some for me too, would you? Throw in some Aristotle for good measure.

 

[oggbashan]

Read some for me too, would you? Throw in some Aristotle for good measure.

Will try. Off to my personal library to collect the books, get a chair and sit in the sunshine beside the blue sea with a cup of coffee.

As an aside. There's nothing new under the sun:

I pushed my pud up her poop-chute

Is already in the How To category. The title must have registered in my sub-conscious.

Og

 

[Aurora Black]

Will try. Off to my personal library to collect the books, get a chair and sit in the sunshine beside the blue sea with a cup of coffee.

As an aside. There's nothing new under the sun:

I pushed my pud up her poop-chute

Is already in the How To category. The title must have registered in my sub-conscious.

Og

Good God!

Enjoy the scenery.

 

[Munachi]

anything new?

 

[oggbashan]

Gerund

My second entry can't be salved to fit the rules, so it is scrap.

Back to the drawing board.

Here is the content of my waste bin:

"How to hunt the elusive Gerund in the Brazilian Rainforest

The first problem I faced in my quest for the elusive Gerund was obtaining funding for my scientific exploration.

I approached the National Geographic first. Their representative was extremely unhelpful. When I promised to bring back pictures of naked-breasted jungle maidens in glorious technicolor and red-shirted lumberjacks doing what red-shirted lumberjacks do, she dismissed of my application as ‘frivolous’. What Gilbert Grosvenor would have thought I don’t know.

I offered to film the naked-breasted jungle maidens in hi-definition video. She still wasn’t impressed and said meaningless words such as ‘inclusion’, ‘gender-neutral’ and ‘demeaning to indigenous peoples’. I persisted until she called security and had me ejected from the building. Her parting imprecations of ‘male chauvinist throwback’ made no impact..."


Og

 

[Guest]

I don't think I'm expert enough to "how-to" anything...unless you need an IV started or a ventilator managed, lol...

But, I'll do my best to read all of yours! (and comment...and vote, of course!)

Good Luck to Everyone!!!

 

[Aurora Black]

Good Luck to Everyone!!!

Everyone thanks you.

*semi topic-related blurt*

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

[TxRad]

My How to on the care and feeding of redheads has been put on hold as my editor has seen fit to dump my latest piece of rubbish back on me with a ton of multicolored highlighter marks... Her remark about a rack and a cat-o-ninetails has me scrambling to comply with her wishes for me to clean up my act....

 

[Aurora Black]

My How to on the care and feeding of redheads has been put on hold as my editor has seen fit to dump my latest piece of rubbish back on me with a ton of multicolored highlighter marks... Her remark about a rack and a cat-o-ninetails has me scrambling to comply with her wishes for me to clean up my act....

Mmm, redheads.

 

[TxRad]

Mmm, redheads.

I've been married three times and all three were redheads so i have a little expertise in the field... I loved and lived through it....

 

[Selena_Kitt]

My How to on the care and feeding of redheads has been put on hold as my editor has seen fit to dump my latest piece of rubbish back on me with a ton of multicolored highlighter marks... Her remark about a rack and a cat-o-ninetails has me scrambling to comply with her wishes for me to clean up my act....

Hm, now I'm really interested! The care and feeding of my kind...

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Not only that, but this thread gets official recognition in the official thread.

You are all now part of the establishment.

Who are you going to moan about now?

Og

Nooooooooooo! Not the Establishment! I'm still young and a rebel. Lemme outta here.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Og,
I thought my proposal would be OK until I read this:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story.
Now I'm not so sure. It's the dialogue - a bloody giveaway.

I had a shiver when I read the rules, but I'm not sure. In mine I've got a bit of dialogue, a reader's quiz and my pitiful attempts at humor, and it is rather a 'How not to'.

Looking at the 'How To' top 50, there seems to be a deal of latitude.

If your piece is as good as the Free Speech dialogue and is not accepted - stick it in Reviews and we'll all come and vote for it.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I'm really getting excited to read these!

 

[Munachi]

My second entry can't be salved to fit the rules, so it is scrap.

Back to the drawing board.

Here is the content of my waste bin:

"How to hunt the elusive Gerund in the Brazilian Rainforest

The first problem I faced in my quest for the elusive Gerund was obtaining funding for my scientific exploration.

I approached the National Geographic first. Their representative was extremely unhelpful. When I promised to bring back pictures of naked-breasted jungle maidens in glorious technicolor and red-shirted lumberjacks doing what red-shirted lumberjacks do, she dismissed of my application as ‘frivolous’. What Gilbert Grosvenor would have thought I don’t know.

I offered to film the naked-breasted jungle maidens in hi-definition video. She still wasn’t impressed and said meaningless words such as ‘inclusion’, ‘gender-neutral’ and ‘demeaning to indigenous peoples’. I persisted until she called security and had me ejected from the building. Her parting imprecations of ‘male chauvinist throwback’ made no impact..."


Og

i want to read this story.

 

[RebeccaMorton]

Og,
I thought my proposal would be OK until I read this:
- Your piece must be submitted into the How-To category, and must be a How-To essay. That is, your submission must be instructional, not a story.
Now I'm not so sure. It's the dialogue - a bloody giveaway.

Eek... I'm there too. Maybe we should start our own little comp..

"The How-To rejects"

 

[RebeccaMorton]

Hmmmm...if only I had an idea.....

If only i'd had THE RIGHT idea...

 

[Munachi]

My How to on the care and feeding of redheads has been put on hold as my editor has seen fit to dump my latest piece of rubbish back on me with a ton of multicolored highlighter marks... Her remark about a rack and a cat-o-ninetails has me scrambling to comply with her wishes for me to clean up my act....

well it is a very important topic though.