The 'How To' Contest Support Thread

[My Erotic Trail]

I am red 'E'

I've been married three times and all three were redheads so i have a little expertise in the field... I loved and lived through it....

She is not a blonde!
by My Erotic Trail ©

"She's not a blonde." Bill said.
She flung her blonde hair
in a seductive manner.

"How can you tell?"
I had to ask.

"She is too smart.
I bet you a bill,
she is a brunette."

I took the bet.

For she was as dingy
as a tossed about bouy.
She came and stood next to me.
Her blonde hair, I could clearly see.

We chatted about chit
and I bought her a drink.
I think.

I finally got the nerve,
"Can I see your roots?
So I can tell rather your a blonde
or a brunette."

Shyly she replied, "Okay!"

She was a little surprised
but didn't stop me
when I pulled her pants down
and saw that...
she was a Red Head.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

She is not a blonde!

Oooo! You bad bad man!!!

 

[neonlyte]

I saw that

You can always try to slip it in, Neo... see if they let it by... worth a try!

I'm going to see if I can 'slip it in' it is instructional, you'd agree wouldn't you.
Going to read "Stay" tomorrow, good reports I hear.

I had a shiver when I read the rules, but I'm not sure. In mine I've got a bit of dialogue, a reader's quiz and my pitiful attempts at humor, and it is rather a 'How not to'.

Looking at the 'How To' top 50, there seems to be a deal of latitude.

If your piece is as good as the Free Speech dialogue and is not accepted - stick it in Reviews and we'll all come and vote for it.

I think you're right, there is a degree of latitude and as you so kindly say, Reviews is always an option.

Eek... I'm there too. Maybe we should start our own little comp..

"The How-To rejects"

I think Og has his hands full writing and running the last place comp to consider a 'How To Rejects", though it could be fun to see who is rejected first

I'm writing a humorous back-up "How To Get Lucky and Score on the Way Home from Work - Part One: Numerology and Cross-Dressing

TxRad - do the Redheads, if one of them speaks French - guaranteed five

 

[MissBri]

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Will try. Off to my personal library to collect the books, get a chair and sit in the sunshine beside the blue sea with a cup of coffee.

As an aside. There's nothing new under the sun:

I pushed my pud up her poop-chute

Is already in the How To category. The title must have registered in my sub-conscious.

Og

This has a little green "E" next to it, btw...

 

[oggbashan]

The alternative How To Contest?

If anyone is serious? about writing 'How To's that do not fit this contest, how about another AH chain series of 'How To' to be submitted as Chain Stories/Humor and Satire?

I could retrieve the hunt for the Gerund from the waste basket.

No one is supposed to write entries specifically for the Last Place (tm) Contest - they should be genuine attempts at the main contest that are not appreciated by the less-than-illuminati.

Is anyone else mad enough to try for the Fringe event?

If so, it should be a separate thread.

Og

 

[MissBri]

 

[sophia jane]

My editor is out of town, so I could use a couple of really honest readers to read/proof/comment on my how to draft. Pretty please. With sugar on top.

 

[neonlyte]

My editor is out of town, so I could use a couple of really honest readers to read/proof/comment on my how to draft. Pretty please. With sugar on top.

I've some time today, or tomorrow, where ever you are Will it fit on a PM? If not PM me for an e-mail address.

 

[sophia jane]

I've some time today, or tomorrow, where ever you are Will it fit on a PM? If not PM me for an e-mail address.

Pm sent with many thanks. Now I need a girl opinion, cuz it's mostly a how-to for girls.

 

[neonlyte]

Pm sent with many thanks. Now I need a girl opinion, cuz it's mostly a how-to for girls.

Received - get back to you later today. Girl's opinion... huh! What do they know!

 

[damppanties]

My editor is out of town, so I could use a couple of really honest readers to read/proof/comment on my how to draft. Pretty please. With sugar on top.

Pm sent with many thanks. Now I need a girl opinion, cuz it's mostly a how-to for girls.

You can use me if you want to.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

You can use me if you want to.

*biting lip, shaking head*

*mumbling to self: "just walk away, don't say it, just walk away..."*

 

[oggbashan]

You can use me if you want to.

Thinks: What do I have to do to get an offer like that?











Answer: Write a story for Dampy to check. What did you think I was thinking?

Og

 

[sophia jane]

You can use me if you want to.

Oooh thanks! I'll take you up on that in a bit.

 

[sophia jane]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this or not, but I suspect one of the biggest problems with this contest will be getting enough votes to qualify. That was a big struggle in last year's Free Speech contest because it was in a less than popular category. Looking at the how to pieces I have up right now, one has 29 votes and the other has just over 40, and both of them were on fairly mainstream/interesting topics. So...everyone should probably be ready to beg for votes.

 

[damppanties]

Thinks: What do I have to do to get an offer like that?











Answer: Write a story for Dampy to check. What did you think I was thinking?

Og

*biting lip, shaking head*

*mumbling to self: "just walk away, don't say it, just walk away..."*

That's okay. You can say it. You don't have to restrain yourself on Lit of all places.

 

[TxRad]

That's okay. You can say it. You don't have to restrain yourself on Lit of all places.

But but butt.... some people like to be restained......

 

[Selena_Kitt]

But but butt.... some people like to be restained......

*snort*

'tis true

 

[impressive]

An idea (finally)!

 

[oggbashan]

An idea (finally)!

Congratulations!

Don't let it get away.

Og

 

[Munachi]

hm... *thinking* when did the contest start again? i am sooo lazy to look it up...

 

[Selena_Kitt]

hm... *thinking* when did the contest start again? i am sooo lazy to look it up...

May 14...

5 more days...

 

[sophia jane]

May 14...

5 more days...

Mine ought to be ready by then. Can never decide if it's good or bad to be one of the first submissions.

 

[RebeccaMorton]

The only How-to piece I've written thus far is very story-like, I think.
I'm still wondering whether How to Ruin a Marriage would fit the bill, or instead be placed in the Humour category. It will be written either way, so I'm just going on the basis of "It can't hurt to try."

I like your way of thinking.. I'm doing the same. It's my own fault for not reading the nitty gritty details.

We can all spend the next few weeks padding out other catagories