Unusual Lubes and Household Toys Thread!

[midwestyankee]

Autographed?

S.

I wonder if any of the flavored lubes have enough color to be used as ink.

 

[ReadyOne]

Autographed?

S.

Perferably in person. And throw in a list of pseudonyms so I can locate the rest of what you've published!

 

[firefighter02]

A true story too good not to post....

So my friend who we will call J. Male late 20's ..war vet..living alone..has a fuck buddy we will call "chunky butt"..and that pretty much sums her up.

So J and Chunky were going at it one day and she told him that she really likes it in the ass. So he, not being shy starts pounding away on her. And gets so into it he starts spanking her ass at the same time.

She's moaning like a cat in heat and can't get enough of the spanking asking for more, harder the whole ball of wax. At this point J's hand is starting to hurt like hell cause he is really laying into her. So he starts looking around for something to use, cause she wants more than he can give her.

He spies and tears the mini-blind off of the window and proceeds to go to town on her with it.

Maybe its a funnier story when its told with the sound effects.

FF

 

[TNRkitect2b]

lol! too funny FF!

 

[sheath]

I think that a mini-blind takes the prize for the most unusual sex toy mentioned thus far.

S.

 

[watergirl]

Wow.

I think I'm too offended by the idea of some girl being called chunky butt to be amused.

 

[Wizard]

A true story too good not to post....

So my friend who we will call J. Male late 20's ..war vet..living alone..has a fuck buddy we will call "chunky butt"..and that pretty much sums her up.

So J and Chunky were going at it one day and she told him that she really likes it in the ass. So he, not being shy starts pounding away on her. And gets so into it he starts spanking her ass at the same time.

She's moaning like a cat in heat and can't get enough of the spanking asking for more, harder the whole ball of wax. At this point J's hand is starting to hurt like hell cause he is really laying into her. So he starts looking around for something to use, cause she wants more than he can give her.

He spies and tears the mini-blind off of the window and proceeds to go to town on her with it.




Maybe its a funnier story when its told with the sound effects.

FF

I liked it..........

 

[midwestyankee]

I think that a mini-blind takes the prize for the most unusual sex toy mentioned thus far.

S.

It certainly gives a whole new meaning to the idea of "Venetian Night," which is celebrated in Chicago every summer.

 

[Owlz]

Again, I ask you Sheath:

WHen are you going to publish your book "1001 Unusual and Fun Ways to Have Sex Alone or Together?"

I'd like to reserve an advance copy, please!

As would I (he said with a 'woodie', caused by Sheath on the Brain)

 

[secretlybad69]

Using a bottle

Pearls. A necklace of big pearls used for anal beads, a necklace of smaller pearls used to wrap around his cock while slipping inside...

Oh...

A liquor bottle. Gentleman Jack works for me, of course. And then you have to drink directly from the bottle when you are done using it as a naughty kind of dildo.

S.

My mom told me this: if you use an empty bottle, and you are sticking the neck of the bottle in and if air gets into the bottle it can get stuck in your vagina. She works in a Gynecologist's Office and the nurses are always talking about stories about people putting things in the vagina and getting stuck and getting infections and cuts, etc. I would ask my mother more specifics, however, I am still young where discussing sex with my mother is absolutely disguisting.

I am not telling you guys so that you would stop your experimenting. I am just saying, think about what you are doing before you need to go through the embarrassment of and Emergency Room visit like me.

 

[sheath]

As would I (he said with a 'woodie', caused by Sheath on the Brain)

S.

 

[sheath]

Re: Using a bottle

My mom told me this: if you use an empty bottle, and you are sticking the neck of the bottle in and if air gets into the bottle it can get stuck in your vagina. She works in a Gynecologist's Office and the nurses are always talking about stories about people putting things in the vagina and getting stuck and getting infections and cuts, etc. I would ask my mother more specifics, however, I am still young where discussing sex with my mother is absolutely disguisting.

I am not telling you guys so that you would stop your experimenting. I am just saying, think about what you are doing before you need to go through the embarrassment of and Emergency Room visit like me.

Good point. The 'Gentleman Jack' bottle is best used with the cork in place, thanks to the cool little design of it, so I didn't worry about it. I should have given it more thought before I posted, and perhaps attached a warning to it.

Thanks for the heads-up. I know what I'm NOT going to try!

S.

 

[Owlz]

S.

 

[Owlz]

Cool ideas, guys.

I just opened my desk drawer and in the back was something I had forgotten I had...

A nice, thick cigar. Wonder, oh wonder, what could be done with that?

S.

The name Monica Lewinsky comes to mind, sheath.

 

[firefighter02]

Re: Wow.

I think I'm too offended by the idea of some girl being called chunky butt to be amused.

It's actually the nickname she gave herself...If I really meant to offend you I would have called her lard ass.

 

[watergirl]

silly

no, no, no - not offended by YOU!!! Just by the idea... I didn't assume that you came up with it, and I know that 'chunky butt' wasn't the funny point of the story....

Ya could have called her muffin-ass & I still would have gotten side-tracked by it. The idea of derogatory nicknames for fuck buddies disturbs me, that's all. Sorry to rain on the parade.

 

[watergirl]

Jump rope!

I have a lovely white, nylon jump rope... with just beautiful smooth, polished wooden handles of a very convenient size.

 

[sheath]

I think I have jump ropes here...which are different from jumper cables, which could be a whole other thread altogether...

So. Many of you already know I was in an automobile accident recently. I'm okay, and recovering now...but imagine, I find something sexual even in this.

Medical supplies!

So, to go with the IV line and stuff...

Tubing. Tubing for tying up. And I'm sure you guys can think of all sorts of other naughty things to do with it. Would make for interesting suction...see how much of that tubing you can fill up with certain substances.

An IV stand, which I'm sure can be used in all sorts of debauched ways, many of which I will think of over the next few days, I'm sure. Those little syringes without needles in them, to inject things into the IV? The little "pop bags" with meds in them...once empty (of course), those could make interesting insertion toys.

A few clip thingies, good for nipples...pill bottles, also good for nipples, create good suction...

Some other stuff. Even a metal brace thing, the things that keep your hand or arm steady after a wrist injury? Cool.

Any other ideas???

Silver linings can be found in anything, folks. And sexual depravity can be found in medical equipment.

S.

 

[sheath]

I think I have jump ropes here...which are different from jumper cables, which could be a whole other thread altogether...

So. Many of you already know I was in an automobile accident recently. I'm okay, and recovering now...but imagine, I find something sexual even in this.

And of course, someone just happened to mention to me that there is a very good thing to do when it comes to medical equipment and IV lines...

Nice, slow, gentle lovemaking.

Good idea...*sigh*

S.

 

[Guest]

 

[sheath]

Good God.

Can I come play?

Since when do you have to ask?

S.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Since when do you have to ask?

S.

Not until you have healed dear... Doctor's orders, remember?

 

[sheath]

Not until you have healed dear... Doctor's orders, remember?

*grumbles petulantly at Sir Brian*

S.

 

[Owlz]

for sheath

 

[sheath]

for sheath

ROSE! What sexual things can be done with a single rose?



Thanks, Owlz.

S.