JerseyJade
Jade
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2018
- Posts
- 38,636
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Reading the other messages, I can only infer you are taking a break from here since the voice message timed out or was taken down. Wishing you strength and guidance.
Story time. As a child, I walked the fields of NW Ohio for arrowheads...but I would look at anything that caught my eye. One day, I found this perfectly smooth, amazingly green stone. It went into my pocket. After researching it, I discovered it came down from over a thousand miles from Canada in the last glaciers. I carried it for the next 20 years. It was my guide. It saw me through my bad days of drug abuse. It saw me through my days of being alone. I lost so much during those days...but I kept my rock. It was me. I was it. It was always in my pocket...God i washed it more times than I can count.
My grandmother raised me. When I reached out for help to get clean...I was so afraid she had died during my drug use. I was so embarrassed by what I had become...it was easier not to talk with those I loved. But luck was what it was. She saw me celebrate 5 years clean before she did die. As we filed up to the casket to say our goodbyes, the rock felt heavy. It called. I reached in and took out of my pocket...and I immediately knew it was no longer mine...but hers. So I placed it in her hand...to guide her to safety. To happiness. My wife asked me...you sure? Yes. I have found my way. I no longer need it.
I look at my shelves today, they are lined with hundreds of rocks. I can tell you where each were found...what I was going through...and how each have helped me get from here to there. Find your guide Rainshine. You probably already have it and don't know why. Use it to remind you of who you are and that you are deserving of your happiness. It is there for us all.

Thank you for sharing this, D.
It's a painful, moving, uplifting and beautiful story.
I read this with equal parts of tears and smiles. Sir, you are a true rock star.![]()
I'm nosey about what people's first memory is and how old were you? And do you have a lot of memories from childhood? Are they mostly good or bad?
I think my first memory is from when I was about 4 years old. My older sister was going to kindergarten and I was sitting on the front steps playing with a doll while my mother was saying goodbye to her.
I don't have a lot of memories from childhood... my sister remembers a lot but I just have a crap memory I guess. I remember more of the embarrassing/awful moments than good ones. I heard somewhere recently that that's an evolutionary thing - it's more important for survival for us to remember danger and bad things than the good ones.
I'm nosey about what people's first memory is and how old were you? And do you have a lot of memories from childhood? Are they mostly good or bad?
I think my first memory is from when I was about 4 years old. My older sister was going to kindergarten and I was sitting on the front steps playing with a doll while my mother was saying goodbye to her.
I don't have a lot of memories from childhood... my sister remembers a lot but I just have a crap memory I guess. I remember more of the embarrassing/awful moments than good ones. I heard somewhere recently that that's an evolutionary thing - it's more important for survival for us to remember danger and bad things than the good ones.
I'm nosey about what people's first memory is and how old were you? And do you have a lot of memories from childhood? Are they mostly good or bad?
I'm nosey about what people's first memory is and how old were you? And do you have a lot of memories from childhood? Are they mostly good or bad?
I think my first memory is from when I was about 4 years old. My older sister was going to kindergarten and I was sitting on the front steps playing with a doll while my mother was saying goodbye to her.
I don't have a lot of memories from childhood... my sister remembers a lot but I just have a crap memory I guess. I remember more of the embarrassing/awful moments than good ones. I heard somewhere recently that that's an evolutionary thing - it's more important for survival for us to remember danger and bad things than the good ones.

I was MAD that they had lied to me. I kicked my mom and refused to talk to her for days. Well, at first I couldn't even if I wanted to. lol
But I grew out of it pretty quickly, in my teen years, and that doctor became my favorite person. 
I have a lot of memories from my childhood and they are all mostly good. It wasn't an easy one but I was a vivacious and happy child. I loved my parents and my siblings and I was loved by them too. I was the little one and got a bit spoiled.
The most traumatic one is something that I actually laugh today. I was 5 yrs old and I was cronically suffering very badly with tonsillitis. Back then, they would just take them off, when you had such problems, and so my mom decided to do this because the year after I was going to art school, which was very far from home and (I had to live the whole year in dormitory), and she didn't want me to be sick and with no family around.
My mom worked in the hospital. She was a head nurse in the surgical pathology department. I often used to go and visit her and I loved playing the nurse. So I wasn't afraid of the hospital, the opposite, and I also knew the doctor who was going to perform the intervention. I had also seen him in a movie playing an extra (as a doctor) and so they told me that I was going to play in the movie. I was going to be the patient but it was all fiction. So I went and I was so happy. Little did I know.![]()
I sat on the medical chair and there were 3 or 4 nurses and assistants. They tied my hands and they hold me by the shoulders and they told me to open my mouth. I kept asking: Where are the cameras, where is the crew? They told me they are on their way but we needed to do some "rehearsals" first. And so like a good fish I open my mouth.When I saw this huge syringe (they were terrifying back then) was the moment I understood and started to scream like crazy and kicking.
Anyway, long story short, the moment the doctor finished (it didn't last long but to me it felt like an eternity) I spit on his face. He had the mask but eyes and front were not covered, obviously. So, everything I had in my mouth, blood included went to his face.I was MAD that they had lied to me. I kicked my mom and refused to talk to her for days. Well, at first I couldn't even if I wanted to. lol
For a time I stopped going to the hospital. But then my dad got sick and hospitalized and I would go and see him. Every time I was close to the hospital though, I would stop and collect small rocks in case I saw that doctor.But I grew out of it pretty quickly, in my teen years, and that doctor became my favorite person.
Sorry for the long papyrus.![]()
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that story would be to heard being read by you. I'm nosey about what people's first memory is and how old were you? And do you have a lot of memories from childhood? Are they mostly good or bad?
I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
It was three. It's now five.I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
Don't you ever randomly look on page 17 and just comment on a moribund thread for the sake of it?I’ve never subscribed to a thread. I pretty much stick to the first couple of lit section pages, unless I want to specifically seek something out. I can usually find what I’m looking for, without any subscriptions
I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
I'm Nosey about what makes you subscribe to a thread and what makes you unsubscribe? How many threads are you subbed to?
I unsubscribe if I’ve lost interest or there’s a poster that I highly dislike who takes over the thread