What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

[StacyLeigh]

I feel that if you say that, it’s let’s you off the hook with how much you can be expected to invest. It’s like a moat of protection from involvement with others.

Good point. But it’s rather sad, in my opinion, that as a “community” we have created such a strong overstepping of boundaries that people have to put up yield signs in advance rather than just being themselves.

 

[AlexBailey]

I’m nosy about the people who are on Lit who say they are “happily married”. Are you really?

Yes.
You know how 'hunger is the best seasoning?' A bit of sexual frustration makes the good times sweeter.

 

[ydahecnot]

This brings up a related question I am nosey about for those in RL relationships (married or no): Is e-boning cheating? Is it just a release, a version of reading an erotic story, looking at pics or visiting PornHub? Or is it in a gray area? It was the latter for me, and I worked it out (rationalized) by counting out RL meetings, not video chatting, stuff like that). Not sure I ever got the needle moving in either direction toward an absolute on the issue.

 

[ydahecnot]

Only the people in the relationship can define what cheating is to them.

A shot of brevity in the spirit of the normal post lengths of the asker. Well done.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Ive had several Lit friends to my home, went to see them when I was vacationing where they live. What they told people about who I was, I don't know. But whenever I mention them to my family, if the question comes up, I say i met them online, in a support forum for people in troubled marriages or divorced. Not too far astray from the truth, if you ask me. They think it's a little weird that I'm friends with people I never met, but they don't question it anymore.

The Lit friends who’ve met my irl friends and family are my friends from an online writer’s group. I have a bunch of Lit folk on my social media as well. I don’t think it’s all that uncommon any more to be good friends with people you only know online.

 

[StacyLeigh]

Show me one truly content person on Lit and I’ll show you a liar.

“Truly content” and “happily married” can be very different.

 

[Chillygirl]

I can only speak for myself, but it definitely ebbs and flows. Sometimes I truly am happy, and we’re clicking on all cylinders. And then sometimes it’s like there’s a deep canyon between us. Our lives dictate how it’s going. So far, no matter how rough it gets, I’m never unhappy enough to out and out leave.

This. It’s never 100%. It’s work, it’s grinding, it’s peaceful, it’s happy. And who are you (generally speaking) to judge? You only see what I choose to present at that moment.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I’m nosy about the people who are on Lit who say they are “happily married”. Are you really?

Yes , very much. We are each other’s BFF

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I’m disappointed. I thought it was going to end like an AFV clip.

I was dangling a temptation out there at that Lit moment in time.

 

[Jake069258]

I’m nosy about the people who are on Lit who say they are “happily married”. Are you really?

The answer to that is in the ever blurred line of the definition of "happy." What is happy?? Does happiness come from a stable, comfortable household where the bills get paid and the kid(s) are fine?? Is that enough to be happy? Are you still sexually attracted to your SO? Does your SO partake in the things that you would like to either do or experiment doing? Can one still be happy without those things?? Would I consider myself happily married... I honestly don't know...

 

[Deacon_Voss]

I’m nosy about the people who are on Lit who say they are “happily married”. Are you really?

Yes, I can say I;m happily married. There's more to a marriage than sex. My wife knows all about Lit. She even asks me how many of my Lit friends are doing. I've been on Lit for twenty years, so a few of my friends go way way back. They all know my life here and at home.

I've loved my wife since I was 13 years old when we met. In fact I told her I'd marry her someday, and 12 years later I did. Of course marriage is hard work. People work hard for a paycheck, or a job they love, but spend very little time working to make a marriage work. (I'm not talking about the one sided marriages, it takes two to make it work)

If you cant be friends with your spouse, or SO, how can you truly love them in the first place? I guess thats what I'm nosy about

 

[Modern_drunkard]

Dude, I dont even tell my side pieces about this weirdo place. Why would I tell that wife of mine?

 

[SassySheDevil]

Yes, I can say I;m happily married. There's more to a marriage than sex. My wife knows all about Lit. She even asks me how many of my Lit friends are doing. I've been on Lit for twenty years, so a few of my friends go way way back. They all know my life here and at home.

I've loved my wife since I was 13 years old when we met. In fact I told her I'd marry her someday, and 12 years later I did. Of course marriage is hard work. People work hard for a paycheck, or a job they love, but spend very little time working to make a marriage work. (I'm not talking about the one sided marriages, it takes two to make it work)

If you cant be friends with your spouse, or SO, how can you truly love them in the first place? I guess thats what I'm nosy about

this. I love my husband to death. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I've been with mine since I was 16.
There is way more that is good, then there is bad.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I’m nosy about the people who are on Lit who say they are “happily married”. Are you really?

I'm happy with being married.

That's where I am in life. Our marriage has highs and lows. We've had a few more lows than usual lately.

Still, I would say I'm happily married.

For me, happy is an attitude. A choice. Our emotions are data, not directions. As I learn to put more space between me and the emotions I experience, I realise that I choose to own the phrase "happily married". There will be times I experience emotions that don't align with happy and there will be times when I do.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

The only person I believe is WhiskeyJack. The rest of y’all are full of crap, unless you have an open marriage or a poly thing.

I was about to post that yes, I am happily married! But Fara beat me to it.

 

[saustin5432]

Show me one truly content person on Lit and I’ll show you a liar.

I identify as a malcontent for sure.

 

[Jake069258]

Yes, I can say I;m happily married. There's more to a marriage than sex. My wife knows all about Lit. She even asks me how many of my Lit friends are doing. I've been on Lit for twenty years, so a few of my friends go way way back. They all know my life here and at home.

I've loved my wife since I was 13 years old when we met. In fact I told her I'd marry her someday, and 12 years later I did. Of course marriage is hard work. People work hard for a paycheck, or a job they love, but spend very little time working to make a marriage work. (I'm not talking about the one sided marriages, it takes two to make it work)

If you cant be friends with your spouse, or SO, how can you truly love them in the first place? I guess thats what I'm nosy about

You're a lucky man Deac. I wish I was able to be as open with my wife as you are.

To answer what you are nosey about, I am very good friends with my wife. We have each other's best interests at heart, and we care about each other. And more importantly we love our son to the moon and back. But does that make us happy??? Like I say, I don't know...

 

[saustin5432]

Yes, I can say I;m happily married. There's more to a marriage than sex. My wife knows all about Lit. She even asks me how many of my Lit friends are doing. I've been on Lit for twenty years, so a few of my friends go way way back. They all know my life here and at home.

I've loved my wife since I was 13 years old when we met. In fact I told her I'd marry her someday, and 12 years later I did. Of course marriage is hard work. People work hard for a paycheck, or a job they love, but spend very little time working to make a marriage work. (I'm not talking about the one sided marriages, it takes two to make it work)

If you cant be friends with your spouse, or SO, how can you truly love them in the first place? I guess thats what I'm nosy about

That's the story I think we all hope for. For me, we married young, had kids young and everything about ourselves was dictated by those things. We put in the efforts for a long time and were generally happy. We're still friends, but at the same time we found ourselves separately and wanted so many different things for the second halves of our lives. I was on Lit before we separated and I would have probably said we were happily married, but at the same time I think we're in the minority for those who also say we're happily divorced.

Of course, now I struggle with the construct of marriage. Why do we need a contract with someone we love that usually leads to extra hurt when it doesn't work out. Why can't I love you, desire you, cohabitate with you, have and raise kids all without the moral guardrails that were frankly developed out of organized religion and converted into a government contract. I probably should get off my soapbox. Sorry.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

That's the story I think we all hope for. For me, we married young, had kids young and everything about ourselves was dictated by those things. We put in the efforts for a long time and were generally happy. We're still friends, but at the same time we found ourselves separately and wanted so many different things for the second halves of our lives. I was on Lit before we separated and I would have probably said we were happily married, but at the same time I think we're in the minority for those who also say we're happily divorced.

Of course, now I struggle with the construct of marriage. Why do we need a contract with someone we love that usually leads to extra hurt when it doesn't work out. Why can't I love you, desire you, cohabitate with you, have and raise kids all without the moral guardrails that were frankly developed out of organized religion and converted into a government contract. I probably should get off my soapbox. Sorry.

I absolutely agree with everything you said. My wife and I seperated bak in 96, for 18 months. I think that showed us just how much we not only loved each other, but needed each other to feel whole. We were raising three kids at the time, and for others that worry about the kids, mine loved it. Not because of fighting or it ending, but because we spent more quality time with them, due to it being planned. They also got spoiled at that time as well.

I also said "Friends" not "Happy". Am I always happy? No, not every day. I have bad days, and we do have fights rarely. But I also have fights with friends, but I don't ditch them over it, its just differing opinions colliding, which is bound to happen.

I view marriage just like you do. In fact my wife and I, who was sitting here with me when I wrote that post, were discussing marriage, and the license, which gives grounds to messy divorces, usually about finances.

I'll shut up now, because I've taken this thread way off course, lol. And to those who agree, I'll step off of my soap box now

 

[AlexBailey]

“Truly content” and “happily married” can be very different.

This. We’ll said, Stacy

 

[LikeableMe]

.......

 

[Trekka]

Right. This is why I didn’t say ‘show me anyone on lit in a happy marriage and I’ll show you a liar.’

But isnt it possible to be a content liar?
Like what’re we talkin, here? Is 95% honest good enough?

 

[Jake069258]

But isnt it possible to be a content liar?
Like what’re we talkin, here? Is 95% honest good enough?

Well said. This is what I was getting at earlier. It depends on our own individual definition of happy.

 

[LikeableMe]

Those hours make living in the 9 to 5 world challenging, and finding someone also, I imagine.

I guess lots of people do that though? Sort of live in the night.

I hope, anyway, you find what you want.

The 9-5 world is the dream! I get out of work between 8pm and 11pm, and rush straight home to get ready for the following day at work. It’s tough. I’m hoping to find something with more sociable hours when the economy settles again

 

[Trekka]

But isnt it possible to be a content liar?
Like what’re we talkin, here? Is 95% honest good enough? [/

This is Lit. Anything is possible. ️

Shoot for the stars, baby