Why do you choose to be a sub?

[anticipationstation]

I have quite a responsible job for someone my age and mostly guys working for me. I also work in a industry that is still quite male dominated (not in that sense). It makes a change to be able to let someone else decide what happens to me. To stop being a control freak for a bit.

Em

I am grateful for this discussion because I was curious about this as well. I find myself excited about being dominant, but am a feminist male feeling very strongly about teaching my sons about feminism and modeling respectful behavior toward women. Yet, sexually, I can get very turned on by giving orders that a woman follows. I love to watch a woman get aroused by this type of dynamic/exchange.

Furthermore, I am the MOST excited about submissive women like you and others like you who are strong women outside of sexual interactions, but submissive sexually.

 

[NakedNymph]

I'm not a sub, I don't think: I identify as a switch first, and I love being able to wear those different hats, caring for and being cared for with people I trust with my whole heart

But to me, being submissive, it's like being swept off your feet by a big hug. It's terrifying and exhilarating to not have my feet on the ground, but I'm enveloped in warmth and I'm free to hug back and let that become my whole world: a happy, loving, trusting world. I'd never, ever let myself be controlled or manhandled or ordered around like that in my everyday life - but what makes it so fun is that it isn't my everyday life.

And when I'm being more dom, it makes me so happy to be on the receiving end of that trust, giving myself up to be pleasured by then but in turn giving back to show them a good time: I can feel what it's like to be on the other side. I could never live this kind of lifestyle, as a dom or a sub, but sharing that with somebody for a time: that I can do and cherish.

 

[sweettalk4u]

I have been talking to my college friend and fuck-buddy who came to visit to cheer me up. She has some dom tendencies, whereas I lean the other way.

For me, I think part of being submissive in a sexual context is because I am the opposite IRL. I’m probably the person who wants to be in charge and to have a plan. She is the opposite, IRL she wouldn’t say boo to a goose, but gets off on controlling people sexually.

It it like this with other people?

Em

For some it is an escape. For others like me it was part of the journey
I’m dominant but began as a sub. I learned a lot about my kink and the responsibilities of both along the way

 

[Strixaluco]

For me it is a need. A need I didn't quite recognise until this year. Being able to submit is also a relief, just like being a little ans having a DaddyDom. For me those are intertwined.

Submitting is very personal, though. There are many people I might choose to submit to, for a while and in the right circumstances, but with the right Dom I don't have a choice - it would be very difficult not to submit to for example my current Dom - my love.

 

[sterculius]

It goes back to why I became my best friend Larry's personal cocksucker. What began as jerk off sessions quickly evolved into me always blowing him because his cock was so much bigger than mine was, it only seemed right that since he was my sexual superior, that his needs took priority over mine. When he was in the throes of his frenzy, I ceased to be seen by him as a person, but merely as a tool to be used by him to facilitate his orgasm.
He would hold my head and force his cock all the way down my throat and brutally fuck my throat until he ejaculated deep inside me. He was oblivious to my distress and I came to enjoy being treated this way. I still crave subjugation

 

[K0fcali]

I understand. But it’s an active choice for others, like me.

Its always a choice for everyone. Its not like you are forced to behave this or that way. You could say no disagree and stand firm on your choices. If you decide to not speak up that is your personal choice.

 

[K0fcali]

It goes back to why I became my best friend Larry's personal cocksucker. What began as jerk off sessions quickly evolved into me always blowing him because his cock was so much bigger than mine was, it only seemed right that since he was my sexual superior, that his needs took priority over mine. When he was in the throes of his frenzy, I ceased to be seen by him as a person, but merely as a tool to be used by him to facilitate his orgasm.
He would hold my head and force his cock all the way down my throat and brutally fuck my throat until he ejaculated deep inside me. He was oblivious to my distress and I came to enjoy being treated this way. I still crave subjugation

He is only your sexual superior because you decided he was. You could have said the opposite and made him worship your smaller penis. But you chose not to.

 

[saintcero]

My submissive nature comes naturally to me. It is part of who I am. I did not evolve to use my submissiveness sexually until my bi (M2M) interests awakened late in life.

 

[littlegrizz02]

It goes back to why I became my best friend Larry's personal cocksucker. What began as jerk off sessions quickly evolved into me always blowing him because his cock was so much bigger than mine was, it only seemed right that since he was my sexual superior, that his needs took priority over mine. When he was in the throes of his frenzy, I ceased to be seen by him as a person, but merely as a tool to be used by him to facilitate his orgasm.
He would hold my head and force his cock all the way down my throat and brutally fuck my throat until he ejaculated deep inside me. He was oblivious to my distress and I came to enjoy being treated this way. I still crave subjugation

That sounds awesome

 

[sweettalk4u]

A fascinating journey indeed

 

[traill]

Its always a choice for everyone. Its not like you are forced to behave this or that way. You could say no disagree and stand firm on your choices. If you decide to not speak up that is your personal choice.

You don't control what you're attracted to. It's your personal choice to indulge or not, but the attraction of XYZ is not a choice. Hence, why so many of us describe being submissive as something needed, etc. There is obviously a certain amount of romanticisation at play but saying that specific things people are attracted to is a choice, is actually patently false.

 

[sweettalk4u]

That sounds awesome

It’s normal to be put in your place by the size of your cock. Have you had other encounters where you were bigger?

 

[littlegrizz02]

It’s normal to be put in your place by the size of your cock. Have you had other encounters where you were bigger?

I haven't had any encounters yet but when I do I hope I'm smaller, I am a sub. I want my dom to be bigger.

 

[sweettalk4u]

I haven't had any encounters yet but when I do I hope I'm smaller, I am a sub. I want my dom to be bigger.

Good girl

 

[saintcero]

It’s normal to be put in your place by the size of your cock. Have you had other encounters where you were bigger?

I have been the larger one so far but if I am locked securely in my cage, does it really matter?

 

[tristantrotsky]

It goes back to why I became my best friend Larry's personal cocksucker. What began as jerk off sessions quickly evolved into me always blowing him because his cock was so much bigger than mine was, it only seemed right that since he was my sexual superior, that his needs took priority over mine. When he was in the throes of his frenzy, I ceased to be seen by him as a person, but merely as a tool to be used by him to facilitate his orgasm.
He would hold my head and force his cock all the way down my throat and brutally fuck my throat until he ejaculated deep inside me. He was oblivious to my distress and I came to enjoy being treated this way. I still crave subjugation

We cannot always control what feels 'right' for us.
For some of us it feels entirely natural to submit to a big cock, anything else would be a betrayal of our true selves...

 

[sweettalk4u]

I have been the larger one so far but if I am locked securely in my cage, does it really matter?

Exactly

 

[K0fcali]

You don't control what you're attracted to. It's your personal choice to indulge or not, but the attraction of XYZ is not a choice. Hence, why so many of us describe being submissive as something needed, etc. There is obviously a certain amount of romanticisation at play but saying that specific things people are attracted to is a choice, is actually patently false.

Just because you feel some way doesnt mean you have to act on it. What are you saying?

 

[K0fcali]

Just because you feel some way doesnt mean you have to act on it. What are you saying?

You dont control what youre attracted to or lust after but you do control how you react to the things youre attracted to or lust after. That personal control or lack of is 100% your choice.

 

[Strixaluco]

Just because you feel some way doesnt mean you have to act on it. What are you saying?

The title of the thread is actually about BEING a sub. Not about acting on it.

 

[K0fcali]

The title of the thread is actually about BEING a sub. Not about acting on it.

True. Right after it asks why you CHOOSE to be ?

 

[Strixaluco]

True. Right after it asks why you CHOOSE to be ?

The starter assumed it's a choice and for some it is. But being one isn't for everyone. I didn't choose to be, I found out I am. Acting upon it is a choice, but for me that's like choosing whether to have an enjoyable sex life or not. A bit like a homosexual doesn't choose to be one, only whether he acts upon it.

 

[K0fcali]

Its a complex dynamic im just learning about. I cant claim to understand it better than anyone.

 

[sterculius]

He is only your sexual superior because you decided he was. You could have said the opposite and made him worship your smaller penis. But you chose not to.

It is almost universally conceded that the larger cock is superior to the smaller one. I have never sucked a cock smaller than my own. I have never even SEEN a cock smaller than my own pathetic little 3 inch penis. I have never heard of anyone having a preference for small cocks.

 

[Subsy]

Its a complex dynamic im just learning about. I cant claim to understand it better than anyone.

Reacting positively to an image, scene or prop was my first inkling of finding a fetish. Plus I discovered dominant persons voice to be fascinatingly attractive and authoritative. Since my first discovery I have experienced that and other lusts. The feelings are so powerful and uniquely gratifying….
One gentleman loves to expose me in public…..fast food drive throughs at night…esp when waiting at the pick up window…..I may be told to look at the worker….breasts bare….cum in my mouth and face….so horny I need his cock in my ass…so much I will beg, beg, beg to get fucked.