Worst On-Line Sex

[Jenny _S]

Re: Funny?

I like this thread.......it's funny. Several years ago, when I was a newbie on ICQ, I was having fun chatting with folks all over the world. Anyway, I ran into this gal from Sydney, AU. Hell, we had only been chatting for several minutes when she typed: "I want your big c*** in my wet, slopping, juicy, hairy c***. It sounded like an ad for kibbles 'n bits! Well, no shirker here, so I played along for a while, until ta-da! a sales pitch for some kind of sexual potency drug came along. You, know, the type that adds inches to a guy and delivers multiple O's. Anyway, on this occasion, you might say I got screwed twice!

LMAO... That's good.

I've visited lots of other threads and was sort of disappointed for a number of reasons. The main reason was because they lack the fun and joy of sex. So I started this one. Let's face it sex is funny. Sex is fun. Sex is supposed to leave you smiling. And nothing is funnier than looking at the sexual failures of your past.

Personally, I find on-line sex to be the funniest of all. Think. Two people sitting on different continents having sex? The very idea makes me smile. But then again, I suppose Cyber Sex with all it's pitfalls is the great "Safe Sex" of the 21st Century.

But that "Safe Sex" freedom does lead to wonderfully laughable situations.

Jenny

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Re: Re: Funny?

LMAO... That's good.

I've visited lots of other threads and was sort of disappointed for a number of reasons. The main reason was because they lack the fun and joy of sex. So I started this one. Let's face it sex is funny. Sex is fun. Sex is supposed to leave you smiling. And nothing is funnier than looking at the sexual failures of your past.

Personally, I find on-line sex to be the funniest of all. Think. Two people sitting on different continents having sex? The very idea makes me smile. But then again, I suppose Cyber Sex with all it's pitfalls is the great "Safe Sex" of the 21st Century.

But that "Safe Sex" freedom does lead to wonderfully laughable situations.

Jenny

Ah my lady if you were old enough to remember Barbarella probably used to make fun of cyber sex too

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Re: Funny?

Ah my lady if you were old enough to remember Barbarella probably used to make fun of cyber sex too

Yes, My friend, I do remember. A memorable opening to that film with Jane Fonda stripping from a space suit. I have it on tape somewhere.

And the package is on the way. If it doesn't arrive, let me know.

Jenny

 

[whatsinanameuk]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Funny?

Yes, My friend, I do remember. A memorable opening to that film with Jane Fonda stripping from a space suit. I have it on tape somewhere.

And the package is on the way. If it doesn't arrive, let me know.

Jenny

I remember Barbarella too - never thought I'd enjoy the sex - but cyber's not far off is it - and I enjoy that (usually - see above LOL).

Yes I agree, sex is a a funny, messy way of passing the time together - and it feels good: before, during and after, with the right person - of the appropriate sex

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Funny?

I remember Barbarella too - never thought I'd enjoy the sex - but cyber's not far off is it - and I enjoy that (usually - see above LOL).

Yes I agree, sex is a a funny, messy way of passing the time together - and it feels good: before, during and after, with the right person - of the appropriate sex

Appropriate sex? Are there three? Why am I always the last to know??


Jenny

 

[submrinedude]

Different twist

As the relative "virgin" on this thread I have a question for guys and dolls. Do you ever find yourself using the same phrase or story over and over again to different people or are you creative enough to be original every time?

I imagine it's like using the same line(s) in a singles bar until you find someone it works on. (although no personnal experience here either, the only time I picked up a girl in a bar I carried her outside and she proceeded to... well never mind, it's not what you think anyway).

I find myself tempted to reuse a thought with multiple people but can't seem to bring myself to it.

Well, how about it? Is cut and paste love a no-no or is this truly the age of recycling?

As much as it pains me to say it, I will have to catch up with the replies later but I'll thank you for them now. I will be out of touch until later in July. Sultry, your pic is on the way. Not to worry, no saluting in progress (with any body part)

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Different twist

As the relative "virgin" on this thread I have a question for guys and dolls. Do you ever find yourself using the same phrase or story over and over again to different people or are you creative enough to be original every time?

I imagine it's like using the same line(s) in a singles bar until you find someone it works on. (although no personnal experience here either, the only time I picked up a girl in a bar I carried her outside and she proceeded to... well never mind, it's not what you think anyway).

I find myself tempted to reuse a thought with multiple people but can't seem to bring myself to it.

Well, how about it? Is cut and paste love a no-no or is this truly the age of recycling?

As much as it pains me to say it, I will have to catch up with the replies later but I'll thank you for them now. I will be out of touch until later in July. Sultry, your pic is on the way. Not to worry, no saluting in progress (with any body part)

Good question, Sub...
I can't answer for anyone else but in my case stories come from many souces. Some begin with tales I've been told by friends. Others begin with things that I've done personally. And some are complete fantisy. In fact, much of all the stories are pure fantisy.

If you look at all my stories and the five or six I have not yet finished they are all completely different. The current one I seem to be working on is a Sci-Fi/Humor story about an extraterestular virus that makes everyone insatiably horny. Where the hell did that come from?

There are some elements that repeat, especially those having to do with the sex act. But a story comes to me as a seed and bakes in my mind for some time (Electronic Sex baked for two years) then they seem to mature and get written.

Hope that confuses you, somewhat.

Jenny

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Funny?

Yes, My friend, I do remember. A memorable opening to that film with Jane Fonda stripping from a space suit. I have it on tape somewhere.

And the package is on the way. If it doesn't arrive, let me know.

Jenny

Ah and my lady what a package

 

[submrinedude]

Re: Re: Different twist

Hope that confuses you, somewhat.

Jenny

Mission successful, I was actually talking about lines and stories sent to individuals as PM's IM's etc... (I was actually trying to steer back to your original thread topic since I have strayed so far from it)

Gotta admit though, I'm learning really like you Jenny. Smiling is a wonderful thing and there are several of you who have been great for that.

BTW Barbarella was HOT! If she would've ditched the angel guy I'd have taken her home in a minute!

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Funny?

Ah and my lady what a package

Thank you, My Friend

But that's just lil ole me... I think if you punch the link at the bottom... there's another one.

Jenny

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Re: Different twist

Mission successful, I was actually talking about lines and stories sent to individuals as PM's IM's etc... (I was actually trying to steer back to your original thread topic since I have strayed so far from it)

Gotta admit though, I'm learning really like you Jenny. Smiling is a wonderful thing and there are several of you who have been great for that.

BTW Barbarella was HOT! If she would've ditched the angel guy I'd have taken her home in a minute!

I've found that the people on Lit, for the most part, are a better class of people than AOL, MSN, Yahoo or the others. Help is always available. Just be creative... and don't steal my stuff.

Jenny

 

[Jenny _S]

Back to ... something

Sub is correct. The thread seems to have taken a left turn at Denver. So to get things back on the right track....

I had this scrumptious little woman I was doing Cam Sex with for quite a long time. It was wonderful. She was so sensual. I suppose I was even in love with her. However, it all came to an end one evening when both of us EXPLODED in fantastic orgasms. When I looked up after catching my breath she had fainted in her chair and her 8 year old son was peering intently at my naked body on her monitor. "Gee mommy. What are those?"...
oops

Ok... who's next?

Jenny

 

[tendril]

Putting my hand up...I'm next.

Okay, last year I got to know a guy from Canada. Cam chat with him was just so much fun.

He was sexy to the max, hot and just great company. I slowly discovered on the downside, he was going through a marriage break up and his current r/l girl friend had given him an ultimatum about their relationship.

He had his cam set for maximum effect...when he masturbated I could see him from his thighs to his face, he would cum on his tummy (nice hairy tummy it was too )...I loved it.

He was nearly always invisible as he had a big buddy list. Often he would start chatting but interrupt to 'catch' another friend online. This happened a few times so I decided I'd had enough, I told him that with so many buddies to talk to he should think of pruning his list back.

Woo hoo...this guy threw a fit.....I've never before or since been 'told off' online. it was funny...lots of "how dare I tell him"..."blah blah blah"

Click.Delete.End of friendship.

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Putting my hand up...I'm next.

Okay, last year I got to know a guy from Canada. Cam chat with him was just so much fun.

He was sexy to the max, hot and just great company. I slowly discovered on the downside, he was going through a marriage break up and his current r/l girl friend had given him an ultimatum about their relationship.

He had his cam set for maximum effect...when he masturbated I could see him from his thighs to his face, he would cum on his tummy (nice hairy tummy it was too )...I loved it.

He was nearly always invisible as he had a big buddy list. Often he would start chatting but interrupt to 'catch' another friend online. This happened a few times so I decided I'd had enough, I told him that with so many buddies to talk to he should think of pruning his list back.

Woo hoo...this guy threw a fit.....I've never before or since been 'told off' online. it was funny...lots of "how dare I tell him"..."blah blah blah"

Click.Delete.End of friendship.

Tendril, Dearest,

In my experience most guys have predominatly women on their messenger list. Women have guys. Everyone I've had that happen to me with turned out to be working me and someone else.

But I loved the tale. How big did you say his cock was?

Gawd. Just thinking about it is making me wet

Jenny

 

[mac340]

Well of course real sex is better then internet sex jenny but don't you masturbate? I guess if i am gonna masturbate it just ads a little extra plus being a exhibitionist i like being watched.

 

[Jenny _S]

Masterbate?

Well of course real sex is better then internet sex jenny but don't you masturbate? I guess if i am gonna masturbate it just ads a little extra plus being a exhibitionist i like being watched.

Ummm, Mac,
Do you mean before, between or after sex?? Or just the regular pussy thumping while I'm thinking about sex?

Jenny

 

[tendril]

Re: Re: Putting my hand up...I'm next.

Tendril, Dearest,

In my experience most guys have predominatly women on their messenger list. Women have guys. Everyone I've had that happen to me with turned out to be working me and someone else.

But I loved the tale. How big did you say his cock was?

Gawd. Just thinking about it is making me wet

Jenny

Yes Jenny, I know what you mean about buddy lists !!

The few times I used the cam with that particular buddy it was via www.eyeball.com. Thats a user-to-user system, the cam is only available to the two chatters, not like the almost 'TV broadcast' of Yahoo !!

 

[sultryslayer]

I have to say that it doesn't

really add any extra thrill to be watched while I masturbate. Unless you are talking about somebody peeping in who isn't suppossed to be watching. This past semester I masturbated in my car one day outside of school. There were some men working up on top of a building across the street. I liked to imagine that they were catching the naughty scene. It made my orgasm even better than normal.

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Re: Putting my hand up...I'm next.

Yes Jenny, I know what you mean about buddy lists !!

The few times I used the cam with that particular buddy it was via www.eyeball.com. Thats a user-to-user system, the cam is only available to the two chatters, not like the almost 'TV broadcast' of Yahoo !!

I agree Tendril, Dear
Livve is worse than Yahoo. You can't even turn your cam off so I cover it. PalTalk has, at your option, both broadcast which you can do in the rooms if you chose or one on one in private. And of course, NetMeeting is only one on one or up to six if you invite them to join (I can never get the damn thing to work right!).

mmmmm I bet you look so cute on cam too

Jenny

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: I have to say that it doesn't

really add any extra thrill to be watched while I masturbate. Unless you are talking about somebody peeping in who isn't suppossed to be watching. This past semester I masturbated in my car one day outside of school. There were some men working up on top of a building across the street. I liked to imagine that they were catching the naughty scene. It made my orgasm even better than normal.

I'm not much for public sex generally either, Sultry. Although in college I did fuck one guy in the University parking lot at 3:00 PM just as classes were letting out. Me sitting on his lap in the back seat bouncing up and down screaming and cumming. A couple hundred people came by and we had quite a crowd watching when we finished. I was terribly embarrassed until we got out of the parking lot then I started laughing. Took the guy home and fucked him again. The memory of all those people watching got me off like mad.

Goes to show. The biggest and most important sex organ you have is between your ears.

Good to see you tonight, Sultry. You add another dimension to this little group

Jenny

 

[sultryslayer]

Aww nice to see you, too, Jenny!

By the way my name is Jennifer too!

Your story reminds me of the fling I had this past year with a fellow college student. We used to slip down to the basement of the library. We had our own little spot behind the stairwell. I would suck him off untill he came on my face. It was so hot cause we had to be quiet if someone opened the door. I loved it cause he would call me dirty names while I licked and sucked on him.

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Aww nice to see you, too, Jenny!

By the way my name is Jennifer too!

Your story reminds me of the fling I had this past year with a fellow college student. We used to slip down to the basement of the library. We had our own little spot behind the stairwell. I would suck him off untill he came on my face. It was so hot cause we had to be quiet if someone opened the door. I loved it cause he would call me dirty names while I licked and sucked on him.

OMG. I love it. LMAO

But you see what's happening again? Everyone on the internet has had some good and bad experiences. But it seems to me the preference is really skin to skin, moaning and groaning, mixing bodily fluids and so on.

Jenny is an assumed name. I chatted several years ago as Jenny_Slug. Most nasty, ugly hag on the internet. It's also a joke. The Slug is the adopted Offical State Animal in Oregon.

You are quite an interesting young lady, Sultry. Read your PM. You might find something to give you a cheery thought or two


Jenny

 

[mac340]

hmmm must be alot of pussy pumping going on over there eh jenny

 

[Jenny _S]

Let me put it this way...

hmmm must be alot of pussy pumping going on over there eh jenny

I Never, Ever masterbate... EVER... except when I think about Sex... Read about Sex... hear about Sex... Imagine Sex.... See a banana... cucumber...dildo... imagine certain vegitables...etc.

Otherwise... ummm.. no, not really.


Jenny

 

[sultryslayer]

Jenny I am with you here:

I think about Sex... Read about Sex... hear about Sex... Imagine Sex.... See a banana... cucumber...dildo... imagine certain vegitables...etc.

Always turned on in Jersey!

I think I have attached a pic of myself, if I did it correctly.

P.S. I pmed you my email address