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ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

cookiecat said:
eharmony here i come!!
Click to expand...

So, I've been spelling "wet" wrong all these years?

If I spell wet as "wett" will I get my mailbox filled with boobs?

Let's try:

Is something is wett, dry it. (Let the boobs flow. Oh, should "let" be "lett" then?)
 
TANSTAAFL58 said:
So, I've been spelling "wet" wrong all these years?

If I spell wet as "wett" will I get my mailbox filled with boobs?

Let's try:

Is something is wett, dry it. (Let the boobs flow. Oh, should "let" be "lett" then?)
Click to expand...

Would you let me know how you get on with this Tans, you may be on to something here.
 
AnnieLit said:
Do they have to be boobs? :devil:
Click to expand...

Nope. I am not a picky man.

I should add that the experiment was a success. As a man of science I now need to reproduce the result. As a Gentleman ...I am too! Ahem, as a Gentleman, I cannot elaborate on the data. (Except to say that I love science!)
 
Today's gem:

Dated:

4/2/20 3:14 PM
hey, what is going on how are you doing

I want a submissiveslave girlfriend for a serious longterm fulltime relationshipownership that will turn into My submissiveslave wife for a lifetime marriage with a prenuptial agreement who is intelligent, honest, trustworthy, faithful, loyal, understanding, sense of humor, compassionate, passionate, have an open mind, outgoing, and into having her breasts tied and hang, housework, run errands, cooking, cleaning, bitch bowl, other submissive and slaves women, wear a collar with a lock on it and leash, handcuffs, spreader bar, blindfold, dildos, vibrators, whips, paddles, canes, nipple clamps, belts, gag, anal beads, rope, water sport, anal sex, making movie, washing me, tongue bath, slapping, fisting, being caged, whip, spank and beat, cam show, any of them indoors or outdoors, at park, in a car, a garage, in a dark room, at the movies, at a store, and more
Click to expand...
 
cookiecat said:
Today's gem:

Dated:
Click to expand...

That’s quite a grocery list. I noticed he left out toilet paper, yeast, and flour. Of course, those are all pretty rare these days.

Methinks he would do better if he were shopping in the Fantasy aisle.
 
Sign me up. :rolleyes:

He just has to bring yeast and semi sweet chocolate chips.




Methinks the fellow has a very high opinion of himself.
 
It started out with such promise, too. The whole respect, honesty, trust, sense of humor, intelligent made the sharp segue to being hung by my tits.

Wait. What?

You guys! Now I'm craving chocolate chip cookies!!! :)
 
It is as if he had a number of items listed you find in the BDSM world and then mixed them up with everyday activities. He could have worked his way through this list and thought, "that will show how much I know."

Would you pass a chocolate cookie please.
 
I'm beginning to seriously doubt the intelligence of my fellow male persons I know, I know: not enough blood for the brain and the penis. And I do get "blinded by titties". Still. But come on. That ad sent to cookie? What the actual fuck? I wonder how many women he has tried that on. That makes me miss the subtle seductive style of DL3. Truth!

And the Dick Pics. FFS. If nearly every woman on here says "no unsolicited dick pics" why the fuck would anyone bother to try? I've been here nearly two years. Not counting pics of Dick Van Dyke, Dick Clark, Dick Chaney and Dick Smothers, I have sent four dick picks. One was requested. Two were requested in return for a pic sent, and I wrote: this is a picture of my dick. One was photographic advise (Let me see the pictures of your dick and I'll tell you if they're okay). 99% of women I have spoken with in PMs have never seen it, haven't asked and I haven't offered.

And I am very tired of "it's a sex site". It's a literary site about sexual topics. Its not Tinder. There's lots of threads for anyone interested in posting their naughty bits and anyone on one should expect to see naughty bits.

And no Asshat is going to read this, but I feel better.

Please pass the cookies.
 
Last edited:
smiling-friends-looking-laptop-together-eating-cookies-home-couch-32515107.jpg
 
Tans, grammar police at work........

TANSTAAFL58 said:
I'm beginning to seriously doubt the intelligence of my fellow male persons I know, I know: not enough blood for the brain and the penis. And I do get "blinded by titties" [yep so do I]. Still. But come on. That ad sent to cookie? What the actual fuck? I wonder how many women he has tried that on. That makes me miss the subtle seductive style of DL3. Truth!

And the Dick Pics. FFS. If nearly every woman on here says "no unsolicited dick pics" why the fuck would anyone bother to try? I've been here nearly two years. Not counting pics of Dick Van Dyke, Dick Clark, Dick Chaney and Dick Smothers, I have sent four dick picks. One was requested. Two were requested in return for a pic sent, and I wrote: this is a picture of my dick. One was photographic advise (Let me see the pictures of your dick and I'll tell you if they're okay). 99% of women I have spoken with in PMs have never seen it, haven't asked and I haven't offered.

And I am very tired of "it's a sex site". It's a literary site about sexual topics. Its not Tinder. There's lots of threads for anyone interested in posting their naughty bits and anyone on one should expect to see naughty bits.

And no Asshat is going to read this, but I feel better.

Please pass the cookies.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
cookiecat said:
It started out with such promise, too. The whole respect, honesty, trust, sense of humor, intelligent made the sharp segue to being hung by my tits.

Wait. What?

You guys! Now I'm craving chocolate chip cookies!!! :)
Click to expand...

I want to know what's in the prenup!

Whoever will certainly be a busy girl with that list of honey do.
 
TANSTAAFL58 said:
I'm beginning to seriously doubt the intelligence of my fellow male persons I know, I know: not enough blood for the brain and the penis. And I do get "blinded by titties". Still. But come on. That ad sent to cookie? What the actual fuck? I wonder how many women he has tried that on. That makes me miss the subtle seductive style of DL3. Truth!

And the Dick Pics. FFS. If nearly every woman on here says "no unsolicited dick pics" why the fuck would anyone bother to try? I've been here nearly two years. Not counting pics of Dick Van Dyke, Dick Clark, Dick Chaney and Dick Smothers, I have sent four dick picks. One was requested. Two were requested in return for a pic sent, and I wrote: this is a picture of my dick. One was photographic advise (Let me see the pictures of your dick and I'll tell you if they're okay). 99% of women I have spoken with in PMs have never seen it, haven't asked and I haven't offered.

And I am very tired of "it's a sex site". It's a literary site about sexual topics. Its not Tinder. There's lots of threads for anyone interested in posting their naughty bits and anyone on one should expect to see naughty bits.

And no Asshat is going to read this, but I feel better.

Please pass the cookies.
Click to expand...

And this is why we love you.;)
 
I can haz cookies even if I haz no cute pics of cats? Pretty puhleez?

I promise no asshattery, too.
 
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