ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[TANSTAAFL58]

Of course this sent me down a rabbit hole, so to speak. Aside from the well-known prowess of Blue Whales, horses and Elephants, evidently Human males are very blessed among primates (us and various Chimps). Evidently Gorillas are possessed of a tiny appendage. One story said being called "hung like a gorilla" is a huge insult in parts of Africa.

I think I need a shower...

 

[Zionisacat]

You guys are so mean for picking on the lil fella. He has a name you know.

 

[AnnieLit]

Maybe in one he's the "fister", and the other he's the fisted? I think he needs something take him focus...

I am about 150% sure this is not what he meant

 

[seela]

Leaving this one here. I'm alive.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Leaving this one here. I'm alive.

What the fuck is that dude thinking? Asshat for sure.

Good to see you here.

 

[seela]

What the fuck is that dude thinking? Asshat for sure.

Good to see you here.

It was such a weird thing to get out of the blue, too. I'd understand getting it if I had posted my pic, but nope. This just came out of nowhere.

“Ur” is such a turn on.

Glad to see you, too, seela. We thought you melted.

I thought it was funny how the first messages were properly written, but the grammar and writing went down fast.

I did have a meltdown. Still do. Not quite back to normal yet, but pretending it's okay has gotten easier, so okay is just around the corner! I'm keeping myself busy doing all sorts of things in the meanwhile. Currently baking a pie.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

From a guy on Lit,

He was not very appealing with his words, everything was all about him, was very into himself (probably still is), he's married, quite narcissistic in tone and expectations, yet expected complete submission to him off of the introduction he displayed. Many may know him off of this description.

All I could do was wish him well and hoped he found what he was looking for, but let him know also, I wasn't the one.

 

[cookiecat]

Leaving this one here. I'm alive.

There is a woman here who has something like "don't call me sexy" in her signature line.

"I seen ur" = hurts my ears

Hope meltdown is temporary. Pie is good.

 

[cookiecat]

From a guy on Lit,

He was not very appealing with his words, everything was all about him, was very into himself (probably still is), he's married, quite narcissistic in tone and expectations, yet expected complete submission to him off of the introduction he displayed. Many may know him off of this description.

All I could do was wish him well and hoped he found what he was looking for, but let him know also, I wasn't the one.

You were very polite.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

You were very polite.

Thank you. I don't think he really deserved it, but he got it anyway.

 

[Cumference]

Leaving this one here. I'm alive.

Wheeeeee!

Welcome back to the surface!


(Or is Lit the surface? Maybe more like the cosy armpit of the internet?)

 

[cookiecat]

Dated:

4/13/20 12:42 PM
Good afternoon,
Im curious if you have any musical or artistic talent??
Can you dew or mend?


Hahaha. No.

 

[Dreamliner]

^^^How do you jump from musical and artistic talent to dew and mend?

 

[cookiecat]

^^^How do you jump from musical and artistic talent to dew and mend?

Aren't they odd questions? Maybe he's gathering a kinky musical act. The Partridge Family in latex. With no roadies. We make our own catsuits.

 

[Dreamliner]

Seems to be an unusual image of a relationship.

 

[cookiecat]

Dated:

4/17/20 7:54 AM
I would love to fuck a kinky grandma

Fuck off

 

[cookiecat]

Dated: 4/17/20 8:08 AM

Hi kitten

Has anyone suggested you stop wearing bras so that your boobs could be as saggy as possible

I might just sign up for match

 

[midwestyankee]

I might just sign up for match

Well, I guess "What is perky?" isn't the Final Jeopardy answer in the board game of that dipshit's life.

 

[AnnieLit]

Dated:

4/13/20 12:42 PM
Good afternoon,
Im curious if you have any musical or artistic talent??
Can you dew or mend?


Hahaha. No.

Ok, this is the place where my English fails me completely
What is "dew"??? I know this word only in the context of small water troplets on the grass on a summer morning (cold night air, condensation, all that), but I don't think this is what he is talking about...

 

[AnnieLit]

Fuck off

Really??? You were way too polite!

 

[twister947]

Ok, this is the place where my English fails me completely
What is "dew"??? I know this word only in the context of small water troplets on the grass on a summer morning (cold night air, condensation, all that), but I don't think this is what he is talking about...

It's a typo, Annie. Sew

 

[AnnieLit]

Sew. It’s a typo.

O! Should have figured that out

 

[Mei5ter]

“Ur” is such a turn on.

Glad to see you, too, seela. We thought you melted.

"Ur" gets me hot every time. But then Mesopotamian archaeological sites have that effect on me.

 

[AnnieLit]

This one is from Fet. My profile there clearly states that I don't accept friends requests from people that I don't know from somewhere else.

Here is a conversation with a 31 y.o. self-proclaimed Dom:

"Hello. I just joined this site and your profile stood out to me. You seem like an honest and genuine woman. Also your pictures are very sexy. Hopefully I'm not out of line with that. Are you still looking for an honest and reliable friend, play partner, relationship and Master? Nothing happens overnight of course but I'd like to get to know each other and see if we like each other and go from there. Would that be possible?"

Sorry, I am not interested in men that much younger than me.

Why? It doesn't say anything about that on your profile.
This is every fucking person. Some bullshit rule that they don't speak about because it would mean they don't get any messages then. Fucking ridiculous.

You are a really funny guy!

I don't care if I get messages here or not from complete strangers. Sometimes, very rarely, it does work, but for the most part this account is to communicate with people that I meet elsewhere. And THAT is clearly stated on my profile.

I thought that was it, but no, an hour later he came back:

But your profile also says looking for a play partner and Master....and says nothing about age.
Like I said that you ignored again.

Every fucking person always comes up with some bullshit as to why I'm not allowed to speak to them but there's pictures of people fixing 18 yr olds and 50 yr olds. It's straight bullshit with this entire site and people just like to lie or not tell the whole truth or just make up shit.

And with that the idiot blocked me. LOL!

 

[gracie920101]

This one is from Fet. My profile there clearly states that I don't accept friends requests from people that I don't know from somewhere else.

Here is a conversation with a 31 y.o. self-proclaimed Dom:

-------------

And with that the idiot blocked me. LOL!

Thank goodness for small favors!