ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[Whiskeyjack]

This thread makes me feel so much better about myself. I had no idea other guys were setting the bar so low.

 

[AnnieLit]

Once in a lifetime, eh? Enticing.

One can only wish that it really was only once.

 

[seela]

"I think you would benefit from plastic surgery."

We'd never talked before. That's what he chose as his first message to me.

 

[AnnieLit]

.
[···]
To be honest with you, I have a few ladies (mostly mature but one young) who perform the most perverted and sordid taboo acts imaginable or even unimaginable with visual proof (photos and videos). Realistically, I do not expect you to perform these filthy taboo acts but I do expect you to be open-minded to the point of discussing them in dirty detail. You can be my very special, young, symbiotic, French, sex partner.

I am just making you a once in a lifetime offer to learn about aspects of sexuality which you are unlikely to learn from anyone else. Forget about your dreams in fairyland and bring them all into reality with me. [···]

Well, reality check was a nice touch. Though too short lived

 

[seela]

Well, reality check was a nice touch. Though too short lived

The reality check cracked me up, too.

 

[phil1955]

I would like to say that I am shocked that a person could be this dumb but then you read the news or listen to some politician and then realize that there is more than one of these people around. I guess this is more of a problem for women as I have not received any PM like this from a woman. Perhaps there is a moral there somewhere.

 

[AnnieLit]

"I think you would benefit from plastic surgery."

We'd never talked before. That's what he chose as his first message to me.

Wow!

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

"I think you would benefit from plastic surgery."

We'd never talked before. That's what he chose as his first message to me.

I am not the only one that gets the plastic surgery introduction? wow mind blown, I thought it was just me. What really gets me with the plastic surgery introduction is how it proceeds after.

Them: "You should get a breast reduction and lift, you might even have a medical program that would cover it"

Me: "well, I have considered it, and very well might in the future, but cosmetic surgery just isn't a life priority right now. Also, I feel I should warn you, you really should be cautious advising cosmetic surgery to women, especially unknown women when you are introducing yourself. Many women would find it rude"

I am giving them an out to acknowledge it came off wrong and try to explain what they really meant, or explain they are a surgeon, explain they are offering to pay for it, I don't know, switch gears somehow. Do they switch gears? Nope, they always just double down on stupid.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it. I just wanted to make sure you were aware. I am only looking out for your best interests"

Then I am always left wondering where in the world these men are from, where women are not permitted to read, where they have no knowledge that cosmetic surgery exists, where they walk up to random women on the street, tell them they should get a rhinoplasty or breast implants, and women thank them for their knowledge and wisdom. Where is this mysterious place these men come from that this cosmetic surgery introduction is an excellent idea? How did this happen?

 

[twister947]

Who the fuck are these asshats?

*bites tongue*
You know what I'm thinking.

 

[beeinit]

hi this might be covering old ground but my little one is a Big Beautiful babe and the messages she has gotten are unbelievable (not on this site) messages Like "I fuck fat chicks" then abusive massages for not responding. Now even though it says on her page she is collared to me she gets fake doms hitting on her with zero respect.

 

[Bramblethorn]

After reading your Biography again, I am well aware of the restrictions in which you place on prospective partners particularly the one concerning that you are "just here (in the Chat Rooms) to dream - NO EXCEPTIONS, not even for wonderful you."

"I am unable to respect boundaries even when stated in the clearest possible terms"

Well, I am requesting that you do break such an absurdly inflexible and rigid rule. As I found you in the Submissive Room, I naturally assume that you are submissive, so do as I ask to please me and perhaps, yourself.

I meet all your requirements

"other than the ones I choose to ignore"

 

[Beth87]

I am not the only one that gets the plastic surgery introduction? wow mind blown, I thought it was just me. What really gets me with the plastic surgery introduction is how it proceeds after.

Them: "You should get a breast reduction and lift, you might even have a medical program that would cover it"

Me: "well, I have considered it, and very well might in the future, but cosmetic surgery just isn't a life priority right now. Also, I feel I should warn you, you really should be cautious advising cosmetic surgery to women, especially unknown women when you are introducing yourself. Many women would find it rude"

I am giving them an out to acknowledge it came off wrong and try to explain what they really meant, or explain they are a surgeon, explain they are offering to pay for it, I don't know, switch gears somehow. Do they switch gears? Nope, they always just double down on stupid.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it. I just wanted to make sure you were aware. I am only looking out for your best interests"

Then I am always left wondering where in the world these men are from, where women are not permitted to read, where they have no knowledge that cosmetic surgery exists, where they walk up to random women on the street, tell them they should get a rhinoplasty or breast implants, and women thank them for their knowledge and wisdom. Where is this mysterious place these men come from that this cosmetic surgery introduction is an excellent idea? How did this happen?

anyone who approached me with a "have you considered surgery" message would get a firm fuck off. irrespective of whether i had ever considered it

the pure arrogance to make that sort of comment to someone.

 

[KimGordon67]

Oh Meli, yuk!

The way he talks reminds me of a guy in the BDSM personals who's had an "ad" there for a long time. Years, maybe?

It includes this gem:

"In the presence of others, you appear to be a sophisticated and superior lady but you desire to be brought down, disgraced as cheap cunt-meat and used as a filthy toilet."

Either way, that's a creepy message.

That guy ... *shudder*.
I really wonder what his hit rate was like.

 

[KimGordon67]

I am not the only one that gets the plastic surgery introduction? wow mind blown, I thought it was just me. What really gets me with the plastic surgery introduction is how it proceeds after.

Them: "You should get a breast reduction and lift, you might even have a medical program that would cover it"

Me: "well, I have considered it, and very well might in the future, but cosmetic surgery just isn't a life priority right now. Also, I feel I should warn you, you really should be cautious advising cosmetic surgery to women, especially unknown women when you are introducing yourself. Many women would find it rude"

I am giving them an out to acknowledge it came off wrong and try to explain what they really meant, or explain they are a surgeon, explain they are offering to pay for it, I don't know, switch gears somehow. Do they switch gears? Nope, they always just double down on stupid.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it. I just wanted to make sure you were aware. I am only looking out for your best interests"

Then I am always left wondering where in the world these men are from, where women are not permitted to read, where they have no knowledge that cosmetic surgery exists, where they walk up to random women on the street, tell them they should get a rhinoplasty or breast implants, and women thank them for their knowledge and wisdom. Where is this mysterious place these men come from that this cosmetic surgery introduction is an excellent idea? How did this happen?

What I love most about this is that this dude is literally mansplaining to you the best way to talk to women. ('Mansplaining' is a term I use extremely sparingly, but it was absolutely invented for this moment.)

 

[cookiecat]

"I think you would benefit from plastic surgery."

We'd never talked before. That's what he chose as his first message to me.

Creep

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

anyone who approached me with a "have you considered surgery" message would get a firm fuck off. irrespective of whether i had ever considered it

the pure arrogance to make that sort of comment to someone.

I always try to give people the benefit that maybe they didn't intend something to sound like it does, or I am misinterpreting it, hence asking or at least demonstrating what I am hearing, again giving them a chance to reevaluate how this is going.

I have actually had the same scenario in real life, just with women. The difference is once pointed out, they admit it is rude, but go into how happy they were about their own reduction. Talk to their recovery, how insurance worked etc etc. At least they have knowledge exceeding the typical lay person and first hand experience with the whole process. They also apparently keep their surgeon's card handy and write their name on them. I can only conclude some of our plastic surgeons must have referral rewards programs, they are trying to earn their way to lipo or an ass lift, they have run out of friends, and the easiest sell is one that could be pushed through insurance.

Hum, maybe these guys are trying to work towards their penis enlargement surgery with a chain plastic surgery center and just suck at sales.

What I love most about this is that this dude is literally mansplaining to you the best way to talk to women. ('Mansplaining' is a term I use extremely sparingly, but it was absolutely invented for this moment.)

oh it is dudes, plural. this same scenario has happened several times on lit. the return result varies a bit, but still the same, just a little variance on words. It is just so odd. Yup, I think I am going with penis enlargement discount is the only logical explanation.

 

[Beth87]

Hum, maybe these guys are trying to work towards their penis enlargement surgery with a chain plastic surgery center and just suck at sales.

only reasonable explanation really.

Although i stopped giving benefit of the doubt a while ago. The last few years has wiped that off me and now i choose educate from place of ascertaining whether its worth my time to.

 

[seela]

I am not the only one that gets the plastic surgery introduction? wow mind blown, I thought it was just me. What really gets me with the plastic surgery introduction is how it proceeds after.
*snip*

Nope, you're not the only one. Although to be clear, my asshat messages 99.9% of the time come from a local site, not from Lit.

I've gotten a vague plastic surgery comment twice, but they've never told me what kind of surgery I need and I haven't asked. I assume they imply my sad boobs need fixing, which probably is true, but it's still an asshat thing to say.

And once someone suggested my lips need fillers, or alternatively I should stop wearing lipstick because I just don't have the lips for it.

Last night's gem:

"Wow, your boobs really are not the same size. I've never seen someone with that big a disparity."

More work for the plastic surgeon I guess!

 

[KimGordon67]

Nope, you're not the only one. Although to be clear, my asshat messages 99.9% of the time come from a local site, not from Lit.

I've gotten a vague plastic surgery comment twice, but they've never told me what kind of surgery I need and I haven't asked. I assume they imply my sad boobs need fixing, which probably is true, but it's still an asshat thing to say.

And once someone suggested my lips need fillers, or alternatively I should stop wearing lipstick because I just don't have the lips for it.

Last night's gem:

"Wow, your boobs really are not the same size. I've never seen someone with that big a disparity."

More work for the plastic surgeon I guess!

I've actually had a reduction, and I think they're still different sizes. And the nipples are definitely at different heights, and weirdly 'circular' ... so I'm sure if even everyone had the surgery these douche bags seem to think is 'necessary', they'd find some other flaw. 'Needs less scarring', for example.
Dicks.

 

[seela]

I've actually had a reduction, and I think they're still different sizes. And the nipples are definitely at different heights, and weirdly 'circular' ... so I'm sure if even everyone had the surgery these douche bags seem to think is 'necessary', they'd find some other flaw. 'Needs less scarring', for example.
Dicks.

Yeah. My boobs aren't even *that* different in size. I usually wear 34E (UK) and one of the cups usually is a little less full than would be ideal. But weirdly, sometimes, if I try on 36DD (UK), which is supposed to be the sister size, the cup that with the 34E felt a little empty is now fine and the the other cup feels a little too full. Or vice versa. It's the weirdest thing.

Aaaanyway, the size difference isn't that significant, although it's definitely there. I don't think any woman ever has boobs that are the same size. He probably just hasn't had a lot of experience with boobs in general if my boobs are the least uniform in size he's ever seen. And his lack of boob experience isn't very surprising considering the message he sent me.

 

[KimGordon67]

Yeah. My boobs aren't even *that* different in size. I usually wear 34F (UK) and one of the cups usually is a little less full than would be ideal. But weirdly, sometimes, if I try on 36DD (UK), which is supposed to be the sister size, the cup that with the 34F felt a little empty is now fine and the the other cup feels a little too full. Or vice versa. It's the weirdest thing.

Aaaanyway, the size difference isn't that significant, although it's definitely there. I don't think any woman ever has boobs that are the same size. He probably just hasn't had a lot of experience with boobs in general if my boobs are the least uniform in size he's ever seen. And his lack of boob experience isn't very surprising considering the message he sent me.

I feel like it would be a 36E, but now I'm not sure that I've ever seen an E cup?

I'm now a D/DD ... I still remember when I saw the surgeon post-op for a check and he said 'you still seem quite large to me' and I laughed and said 'ha - this morning me and my husband were wondering if you took a bit too much away'. I think we were just both used to be me being huge (GG/H). But anything smaller than a D would look a bit silly on me.

Guys like that don't realise that they're bloody lucky that they get to be near boobs at all. My hunch would be that his boob experience is primarily porn-based.

 

[seela]

I feel like it would be a 36E, but now I'm not sure that I've ever seen an E cup?

I'm now a D/DD ... I still remember when I saw the surgeon post-op for a check and he said 'you still seem quite large to me' and I laughed and said 'ha - this morning me and my husband were wondering if you took a bit too much away'. I think we were just both used to be me being huge (GG/H). But anything smaller than a D would look a bit silly on me.

Guys like that don't realise that they're bloody lucky that they get to be near boobs at all. My hunch would be that his boob experience is primarily porn-based.

Oops, sorry. I read the wrong line of the chart. I buy my bras in the EU scale, but I figured few people here know it and tried to be helpful, bot completely messed it up. I'll fix the post above, but here's a correction as well, not that it matters.

Usually EU 75F/ UK 34E/ US 34DDD, sister size would be EU 80E/ UK 36DD/ US 36DD.

Porn based boob experience for the guy is my guess as well.

 

[twister947]

"Boob experience" sounds like something from a resume.

 

[KimGordon67]

"Boob experience" sounds like something from a resume.

But not that dude's resume.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

only reasonable explanation really.

Although i stopped giving benefit of the doubt a while ago. The last few years has wiped that off me and now i choose educate from place of ascertaining whether its worth my time to.

Yours is the smart answer, I often choose the path of knew better but did it anyway because it is so unique it peaks my curiosity and I must know how it turns out.

Nope, you're not the only one. Although to be clear, my asshat messages 99.9% of the time come from a local site, not from Lit.

I've gotten a vague plastic surgery comment twice, but they've never told me what kind of surgery I need and I haven't asked. I assume they imply my sad boobs need fixing, which probably is true, but it's still an asshat thing to say.

And once someone suggested my lips need fillers, or alternatively I should stop wearing lipstick because I just don't have the lips for it.

Last night's gem:

"Wow, your boobs really are not the same size. I've never seen someone with that big a disparity."

More work for the plastic surgeon I guess!

Lit is my only adult site, that sounds like it might be a good thing. I guess we can keep making a list for our $50,000 mommy makeover.

I've actually had a reduction, and I think they're still different sizes. And the nipples are definitely at different heights, and weirdly 'circular' ... so I'm sure if even everyone had the surgery these douche bags seem to think is 'necessary', they'd find some other flaw. 'Needs less scarring', for example.
Dicks.

you are probably correct, though I think circular nipples are a good thing.

Yeah. My boobs aren't even *that* different in size. I usually wear 34E (UK) and one of the cups usually is a little less full than would be ideal. But weirdly, sometimes, if I try on 36DD (UK), which is supposed to be the sister size, the cup that with the 34E felt a little empty is now fine and the the other cup feels a little too full. Or vice versa. It's the weirdest thing.

Aaaanyway, the size difference isn't that significant, although it's definitely there. I don't think any woman ever has boobs that are the same size. He probably just hasn't had a lot of experience with boobs in general if my boobs are the least uniform in size he's ever seen. And his lack of boob experience isn't very surprising considering the message he sent me.

Well sister sizing, while the same volume, still has the issue of volume wide or volume deep. It is workable but rather different.

and hey, not only is my right side bigger, which I would expect as I am right handed, thus the muscles on the right side likely get utilized more, but they even did their job differently. Having pumped for years, right side was amazing at its job, I could have gone to a dairy farm. Left side always just lounging around half assing its purpose. slacker.

"Boob experience" sounds like something from a resume.

haha. that was good.

But not that dude's resume.

but oh, this was better.