ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[seela]

But not that dude's resume.

Preach.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

I have one that I have been sitting on for a few days. It is a message that I never in a million years would have expected to receive, and I can't decide if he is an asshat or just an honest guy with an unusual perspective. I have a rather broken normal meter in general, but it is unlike anything that I have ever been asked. Upfront, one of my strongest dislikes about lit is catfishing and that is because they are men who basically assume the physical identify of random women they stumble across so they can play some weird power game where they are smarter than the men and women they trick.

Anyway, this message is from a man, who has been a member for years. He states he is a closet trans woman, living life like a man with a wife and such, but when he can, he dresses up and pretends he is a woman. I checked his posts and they are primarily bi/trans related or him looking for other sites that have boards like ampics, but aren't on lit. He goes on to explain that the problem he is seeking assistance with is despite the dressing up, filters, etc, he can not pass his image off as female, he really wants that woman experience, and is looking for help in doing so.

After reading and rereading this, I am rather sure he is asking for my permission to use a picture (or pictures) of mine in order to build a female profile on another site. On one hand, it is catfishing. On the other, it is a different motivation than I would have expected, I do actually believe what he is saying, and more shocking than the message itself, is he actually asked. I would expect an asshat would just take what he wanted. I finally asked for clarification to make sure I was not misunderstanding his request, that he is actually asking for permission to reuse pictures and not looking for a virtual makeover or something, but I am quite sure I am not misunderstanding, and I am still not sure what to make of this little dilemma to begin to even ponder my answer.

Asshat or not?

 

[AnnieLit]

[···]

Asshat or not?

Probably just an idiot, not an asshat. How long does he think it'll take somebody to find your Lit profile off his pictures? And then what? When asked about this "Justa" over there he will confirm that both accounts are his? I don't think he'll be able to pull that off, pictures or no pictures -- there is only one Justa!

PS: probably this was the main reason for him asking to begin with -- he wants your unpublished pictures, so it's a bit harder to find them. But then he should know that anybody who have seen you, will recognize you anyway. Given number of people lerking on Lit, I would think there will be quite a few that cross over between the sites.

 

[KimGordon67]

I have one that I have been sitting on for a few days. It is a message that I never in a million years would have expected to receive, and I can't decide if he is an asshat or just an honest guy with an unusual perspective. I have a rather broken normal meter in general, but it is unlike anything that I have ever been asked. Upfront, one of my strongest dislikes about lit is catfishing and that is because they are men who basically assume the physical identify of random women they stumble across so they can play some weird power game where they are smarter than the men and women they trick.

Anyway, this message is from a man, who has been a member for years. He states he is a closet trans man, living life like a man with a wife and such, but when he can, he dresses up and pretends he is a woman. I checked his posts and they are primarily bi/trans related or him looking for other sites that have boards like ampics, but aren't on lit. He goes on to explain that the problem he is seeking assistance with is despite the dressing up, filters, etc, he can not pass his image off as female, he really wants that woman experience, and is looking for help in doing so.

After reading and rereading this, I am rather sure he is asking for my permission to use a picture (or pictures) of mine in order to build a female profile on another site. On one hand, it is catfishing. On the other, it is a different motivation than I would have expected, I do actually believe what he is saying, and more shocking than the message itself, is he actually asked. I would expect an asshat would just take what he wanted. I finally asked for clarification to make sure I was not misunderstanding his request, that he is actually asking for permission to reuse pictures and not looking for a virtual makeover or something, but I am quite sure I am not misunderstanding, and I am still not sure what to make of this little dilemma to begin to even ponder my answer.

Asshat or not?

I always feel bad for people who are living closeted lives of any description. But it's difficult to know what he's hoping to achieve by using photos that aren't of him ... is he just wanting to have his identity as a woman affirmed through online interactions? If so, I can kind of get that ... although you're right, it is also technically catfishing. But one assumes he's never intending to actually meet the men he talks with.
(I actually WAS catfished once, and the story was really quite sad, so I don't always assume people are doing such things with evil intent.)

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Probably just an idiot, not an asshat. How long does he think it'll take somebody to find your Lit profile off his pictures? And then what? When asked about this "Justa" over there he will confirm that both accounts are his? I don't think he'll be able to pull that off, pictures or no pictures -- there is only one Justa!

PS: probably this was the main reason for him asking to begin with -- he wants your unpublished pictures, so it's a bit harder to find them. But then he should know that anybody who have seen you, will recognize you anyway. Given number of people lerking on Lit, I would think there will be quite a few that cross over between the sites.

Very possibly, I honestly haven't the foggiest idea how long one could pull it, cross traffic, and such. I think it depends on the type of site and forum. I am sure lit probably has quite a bit of crossover but I would think people zero in on what they enjoy and ignore what they don't. Thus certain sections would have completely different people, even with the same physical representation. If I presented myself as a trans man one place and a female by birth another, I'd expect different people interact and ignore. Same as If a presented myself as a Dom or Sub. Depending on where he is running, there might be very little overlap likely with anyone who would interact or lurk around myself.

haha yes, there really should probably be only one Justa. You are also correct, with overlap, my communication style, the oversupply of information, the very unusual history and thought process; I don't someone could fake me for very long, any more than I could fake an alt very long. Ingrained mannerisms would present or fail to present rapidly. The personality fluctuation could fly for a while, but the communication style is the kicker.

and you might be right, maybe it is something never shared or a specific style or angle I've never done, or damn, he might want clothed, always a surprising request.

Thanks for the input, it has been helpful.

I always feel bad for people who are living closeted lives of any description. But it's difficult to know what he's hoping to achieve by using photos that aren't of him ... is he just wanting to have his identity as a woman affirmed through online interactions? If so, I can kind of get that ... although you're right, it is also technically catfishing. But one assumes he's never intending to actually meet the men he talks with.
(I actually WAS catfished once, and the story was really quite sad, so I don't always assume people are doing such things with evil intent.)

Exactly. I find myself sympathetic based on his message. When I first came to Lit, I didn't think much about catfishing. I thought it was likely a rarity done for profit. Just an occasional asshat using it as a means of running a simple grift. I thought the men here were paranoid and it was hilarious to me when they sometimes implied I might be a man. Damn it, If I am a man pretending to be a woman, I will be 21, single, childless, and rich. Sure, vanity and functional lies I assume are prolific; age, marital status, and such, but completely different person seemed like it would be highly uncommon. Then I spent time here and realized how common it is and in the absence of profit. There is usually a clear humiliation factor displayed, with the multiple alts, progressive escalation of implausible story lines etc. Not necessarily wrong, if both parties are into the humiliation thing. I don't get it, but my primary issue is it seems to be usually practiced with the complete absence of consent.

This has given me a lot to think about. I don't think I will ever swing to the side of lack of consent, but I am finding myself surprising open and wanting more information and understanding on his thoughts and the location before I have an opinion. Thank you. I wanted to gauge that I wasn't completely off my rocker with sympathy instead of asshat.

And I am sorry about your experience, hopefully you weren't in deep.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Anyway, this message is from a man, who has been a member for years. He states he is a closet trans man, living life like a man with a wife and such, but when he can, he dresses up and pretends he is a woman. I checked his posts and they are primarily bi/trans related or him looking for other sites that have boards like ampics, but aren't on lit. He goes on to explain that the problem he is seeking assistance with is despite the dressing up, filters, etc, he can not pass his image off as female, he really wants that woman experience, and is looking for help in doing so.

After reading and rereading this, I am rather sure he is asking for my permission to use a picture (or pictures) of mine in order to build a female profile on another site. On one hand, it is catfishing. On the other, it is a different motivation than I would have expected, I do actually believe what he is saying, and more shocking than the message itself, is he actually asked. I would expect an asshat would just take what he wanted.

Agreed. Scammers steal other people's pictures all the time, and I've never heard of them stopping to ask permission. Probably sincere, but of course that doesn't oblige you to say yes if you're not comfortable with the request.

Depending on his situation, one alternative that might work is deepfakes - see e.g. https://www.thispersondoesnotexist.com/ for fairly realistic "photos". Though if he wants multiple pics of the same identity, he might need to look a bit further, and for somebody who knows what to look for it's often possible to find details that give them away as fakes.

BTW, I don't know if this was your phrasing or his, but "trans man" usually has the reverse meaning: somebody who was originally pigeonholed as female but who IDs as male.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Agreed. Scammers steal other people's pictures all the time, and I've never heard of them stopping to ask permission. Probably sincere, but of course that doesn't oblige you to say yes if you're not comfortable with the request.

Depending on his situation, one alternative that might work is deepfakes - see e.g. https://www.thispersondoesnotexist.com/ for fairly realistic "photos". Though if he wants multiple pics of the same identity, he might need to look a bit further, and for somebody who knows what to look for it's often possible to find details that give them away as fakes.

BTW, I don't know if this was your phrasing or his, but "trans man" usually has the reverse meaning: somebody who was originally pigeonholed as female but who IDs as male.

Exactly, this is very surprising to me. I am just thrilled when men ask first before reposting something I share on elsewhere, and them asking before doing is a rarity. I don't think it should be, as I think there should be like a perv code, but I accept there isn't.

And interesting site.

re phrasing. I just checked, and it was actually theirs, but thank you for pointing that out, and I have corrected my post. His message was long and detailed enough though, that the birth and daily gender and closet gender are not possible to misinterpret.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I have one that I have been sitting on for a few days. It is a message that I never in a million years would have expected to receive, and I can't decide if he is an asshat or just an honest guy with an unusual perspective. I have a rather broken normal meter in general, but it is unlike anything that I have ever been asked. Upfront, one of my strongest dislikes about lit is catfishing and that is because they are men who basically assume the physical identify of random women they stumble across so they can play some weird power game where they are smarter than the men and women they trick.

Anyway, this message is from a man, who has been a member for years. He states he is a closet trans woman, living life like a man with a wife and such, but when he can, he dresses up and pretends he is a woman. I checked his posts and they are primarily bi/trans related or him looking for other sites that have boards like ampics, but aren't on lit. He goes on to explain that the problem he is seeking assistance with is despite the dressing up, filters, etc, he can not pass his image off as female, he really wants that woman experience, and is looking for help in doing so.

After reading and rereading this, I am rather sure he is asking for my permission to use a picture (or pictures) of mine in order to build a female profile on another site. On one hand, it is catfishing. On the other, it is a different motivation than I would have expected, I do actually believe what he is saying, and more shocking than the message itself, is he actually asked. I would expect an asshat would just take what he wanted. I finally asked for clarification to make sure I was not misunderstanding his request, that he is actually asking for permission to reuse pictures and not looking for a virtual makeover or something, but I am quite sure I am not misunderstanding, and I am still not sure what to make of this little dilemma to begin to even ponder my answer.

Asshat or not?

Jeez be careful Justa. While you're rolling this around in your mind, please think of one Lit member: Cuppers. (At least he asked, but it comes off a little creepy).

 

[KimGordon67]

Completely out of the blue, some dude with zero posts PMs me to ask if I've ever been 'forced' or raped. Just that ... no context or anything.
Seriously.
WTF is wrong with people?

 

[Ropebunny]

Completely out of the blue, some dude with zero posts PMs me to ask if I've ever been 'forced' or raped. Just that ... no context or anything.
Seriously.
WTF is wrong with people?

Everything. Everything is wrong with some people. I sincerely hope this creep never gets any replies from anyone except from those brave enough to slam his psyche against the wall and take a metaphorical shit in his mouth. I get free speech, I really do but ethically speaking some people should be muted for everyone’s good (including their own). I’m sorry you received this shit Kim.

 

[KimGordon67]

Everything. Everything is wrong with some people. I sincerely hope this creep never gets any replies from anyone except from those brave enough to slam his psyche against the wall and take a metaphorical shit in his mouth. I get free speech, I really do but ethically speaking some people should be muted for everyone’s good (including their own). I’m sorry you received this shit Kim.

On a different day I might have been that person. Instead I just told him to fuck off.

 

[Dreamliner]

Just catching up reading a few threads while watching six60 on tv here in a concert they did earlier this year.

Just on the boob thing, in general no woman has a pair of breasts that are exactly the same. It is normal, breasts just happen to be attached to an interesting person.

 

[KimGordon67]

Six60??? Oh dear ...

 

[Dreamliner]

Why? They are alright. I am just relaxing after a busy day.

 

[KimGordon67]

Why? They are alright. I am just relaxing after a busy day.

I know, I know ... everyone likes them, and they're obviously lovely boys. They're just not my thing.

 

[cookiecat]

Super appealing. I'd love to join you and your sisters!


Dated:

5/30/20 2:16 PM
Hello I hope you are well I have been a Dominant most of my life, as well as growing up in the life Father was Master and my mother was his slave My two sisters are slaves I last owned a slave for 10 years She passed away two years ago I am seeking another slave now My sisters recently lost their Master They served the same Master who passed from cancer With them needing a home, I took ownership of them If you would like to talk, please write back

 

[KimGordon67]

Super appealing. I'd love to join you and your sisters!


Dated:

5/30/20 2:16 PM
Hello I hope you are well I have been a Dominant most of my life, as well as growing up in the life Father was Master and my mother was his slave My two sisters are slaves I last owned a slave for 10 years She passed away two years ago I am seeking another slave now My sisters recently lost their Master They served the same Master who passed from cancer With them needing a home, I took ownership of them If you would like to talk, please write back

Jesus wept. Who ARE these people?

 

[cookiecat]

Jesus wept. Who ARE these people?

I'm guessing he casts a really wide net, sending this message to a lot of different women, hoping he'll hook one.

Do you think it's fantasy???

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm guessing he casts a really wide net, sending this message to a lot of different women, hoping he'll hook one.

Do you think it's fantasy???

It's hard to imagine that many individual people would live in such an arrangement for the lengths of time he's talking about ... but stranger things have happened.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Jesus wept. Who ARE these people?

I'm not sure which is worse - the ones who open with the creepy nopery, or the ones who seem perfectly nice and reasonable until one looks at their bio and it's all full of EW NO.

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm not sure which is worse - the ones who open with the creepy nopery, or the ones who seem perfectly nice and reasonable until one looks at their bio and it's all full of EW NO.

Either/or really. I'm sort of fascinated to know how much success any of them actually have.

 

[seela]

Last week I got a message from a 24 year old guy living across the country from me, translations by me:

"I'll be in [a neighborhood in the city I live in] visiting my cousin on the 30th. I see you're a sub. I want you to come to [a specific place in a park in said neighborhood] wearing a short skirt and a tight shirit and a onepiece swimsuit underneath and a collar with a leash. I'll wait for you at 9:30 PM. Be there. Just in case here's my number: XXX"

I didn't respond to him, he didn't send me anything after that. Until today:

"You didn't come. You call yourself submissive but you can't even follow a simple order like that. Are you proud of yourself? You're a shitty sub. I bet the reason you didn't come was that you couldn't find a swimsuit that your fat and flabby ass would fit in. Right? LOL I bet you were so excited and thought you were going to get lucky with me but I never would have touched you anyway. Gross bitch."

And now he's put me on ignore.

I gotta admit, I'm a little curious about why the swimsuit, but I'll never be able to ask him.

 

[KimGordon67]

Last week I got a message from a 24 year old guy living across the country from me, translations by me:

"I'll be in [a neighborhood in the city I live in] visiting my cousin on the 30th. I see you're a sub. I want you to come to [a specific place in a park in said neighborhood] wearing a short skirt and a tight shirit and a onepiece swimsuit underneath and a collar with a leash. I'll wait for you at 9:30 PM. Be there. Just in case here's my number: XXX"

I didn't respond to him, he didn't send me anything after that. Until today:

"You didn't come. You call yourself submissive but you can't even follow a simple order like that. Are you proud of yourself? You're a shitty sub. I bet the reason you didn't come was that you couldn't find a swimsuit that your fat and flabby ass would fit in. Right? LOL I bet you were so excited and thought you were going to get lucky with me but I never would have touched you anyway. Gross bitch."

And now he's put me on ignore.

I gotta admit, I'm a little curious about why the swimsuit, but I'll never be able to ask him.

My favourites are always the guys who desperately want to fuck until you say no (or demonstrate you have no interest) and THEN decide you're so ugly/fat/old/whatever they would have never touched you anyway.

I wonder how long he waited at the park?

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Last week I got a message from a 24 year old guy living across the country from me, translations by me:

"I'll be in [a neighborhood in the city I live in] visiting my cousin on the 30th. I see you're a sub. I want you to come to [a specific place in a park in said neighborhood] wearing a short skirt and a tight shirit and a onepiece swimsuit underneath and a collar with a leash. I'll wait for you at 9:30 PM. Be there. Just in case here's my number: XXX"

I didn't respond to him, he didn't send me anything after that. Until today:

"You didn't come. You call yourself submissive but you can't even follow a simple order like that. Are you proud of yourself? You're a shitty sub. I bet the reason you didn't come was that you couldn't find a swimsuit that your fat and flabby ass would fit in. Right? LOL I bet you were so excited and thought you were going to get lucky with me but I never would have touched you anyway. Gross bitch."

And now he's put me on ignore.

I gotta admit, I'm a little curious about why the swimsuit, but I'll never be able to ask him.

 

[seela]

"Send me your dirty fullback panties no g string or brazilian. I want to smell them and lick them when i jerk off"

One question: what are fullback panties?