ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[cookiecat]

My favourites are always the guys who desperately want to fuck until you say no (or demonstrate you have no interest) and THEN decide you're so ugly/fat/old/whatever they would have never touched you anyway.

I wonder how long he waited at the park?

I get those a lot. The fat old responses. Even if my reply is polite but a "no", some guys have this petty temper tantrum.

 

[cookiecat]

"Send me your dirty fullback panties no g string or brazilian. I want to smell them and lick them when i jerk off"

One question: what are fullback panties?

Guys seem way more into dirty smells/tastes.

Fullback sounds like (American) football underwear!

I'm guessing it's more like granny panties, the kind that cover your entire butt.

 

[seela]

Guys seem way more into dirty smells/tastes.

Fullback sounds like (American) football underwear!

I'm guessing it's more like granny panties, the kind that cover your entire butt.

Ooooh, that makes sense. My mind went to football as well and I didn't get the sentence at all, no matter how many times I read it.

 

[phil1955]

I was tempted to say there are a lot of stupid guys out there but perhaps it is a case of having some bad luck thinking. Some of these stories are simply “Wow”.

 

[KimGordon67]

I get those a lot. The fat old responses. Even if my reply is polite but a "no", some guys have this petty temper tantrum.

Every now and then, when I'm grumpy and bored, I argue back. Once or twice, I actually got an apology that seemed genuine, and I particularly remember one guy who said he'd never really considered how it might feel to be on the receiving end of those messages, or something like that.
But usually I can't be arsed. I really don't even understand the reaction - what do they think is going to happen. That you'll say 'Oh, well seeing as I've obviously hurt your feelings and you've insulted me so thoroughly, of course I'll fuck you now.'?

 

[AnnieLit]

Every now and then, when I'm grumpy and bored, I argue back. Once or twice, I actually got an apology that seemed genuine, and I particularly remember one guy who said he'd never really considered how it might feel to be on the receiving end of those messages, or something like that.
But usually I can't be arsed. I really don't even understand the reaction - what do they think is going to happen. That you'll say 'Oh, well seeing as I've obviously hurt your feelings and you've insulted me so thoroughly, of course I'll fuck you now.'?

I don't even understand why do they bother to write anything beyond a short "fuck you" text. Why go into all the details of why they think I am such a lonely sad fat bitch? A self-care in the form of letting out their frustration? Somehow it is either a "ok, got it, good luck on your search", or a few paragraphs of total garbage. I don't think I have ever seen a short negative reaction.

 

[KimGordon67]

Just to reassure us that they aren't all asshats, I felt compelled to share this endearing exchange I've had, with someone I've been conversing with for a while:

Him: I’m looking for the hottest love therapist.
On going therapy at the suitable time of the therapist?
Any recommendations?

Me: The HOTTEST? That's a pretty high standard.

Him: Hotter than hell..
Only the highest standards
A therapist who knows her way around a HARD situation?

Made me laugh ... and we all know that's the way to a woman's heart ... or at least into her bed.

 

[cookiecat]

This isn't really asshat, just kind of funny - but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

Was texting with a guy. We've been exchanging messages for a couple weeks.

I asked him today about sounds. Has he ever used them? He shot a message back with a bunch of question marks and said yes then asked why am I talking about them now?

I said I've had them used on me and would like to try again. I asked him when he's used them.

He said the last time he went camping and they were trying to locate ghosts.

I laughed out loud.

Well, I might have ghosts up my lady parts - it's been a while.

I told him to google sounds and urethra and see what pops up.

A few minutes later he sent the red faced emoji and then the devil, thumbs up, and happy face emoji.

 

[AnnieLit]

This isn't really asshat, just kind of funny - but I wasn't sure where else to put it.

Was texting with a guy. We've been exchanging messages for a couple weeks.

I asked him today about sounds. Has he ever used them? He shot a message back with a bunch of question marks and said yes then asked why am I talking about them now?

I said I've had them used on me and would like to try again. I asked him when he's used them.

He said the last time he went camping and they were trying to locate ghosts.

I laughed out loud.

Well, I might have ghosts up my lady parts - it's been a while.

I told him to google sounds and urethra and see what pops up.

A few minutes later he sent the red faced emoji and then the devil, thumbs up, and happy face emoji.

Would you even consider doing it with somebody with zero experience?

 

[seela]

Would you even consider doing it with somebody with zero experience?

This is always an interesting question, and the general newbie aversion in the bdsm world is both understandable and offputting to me.

At one point everybody has zero experience and all the knowledge is purely theoretical. If no one is willing to be the first one, nobody gets any experience at all.

I can do things and have been with people with zero experience. Experience is not always what matters to me if the person has knowledge, we have a good line of communication and I like the person enough.

Just because someone is inexperienced, it doesn't mean that there isn't some part of the desired activity that you can engage in safely after learning what you can in theory and then start building up your experience from there.

That said, I've found myself growing more and more impatient and it's rare now that I connect with someone on a deep enough level to work through the lack of experience. So I really shouldn't have any great opinions on this topic one way or another.

Edit: this isn't aimed at Annie, just a thought prompted by her post, to be clear.

 

[Dreamliner]

Thank you seela for acknowledging we have all started from zero experience. As cookie noted, he had the grace to respond with the red face emoji etc. That in itself, a mea culpa, should be sufficient.

As we age, yes, we tend to have less tolerance for some basic things, however, there are times for guidance and providing information leading to pathways.

 

[twister947]

The first time I used a sound, it was on (in) me. I lived.

 

[cookiecat]

Would you even consider doing it with somebody with zero experience?

Yes..

 

[cookiecat]

Expanding on my yes: when I tried it for the first time, neither of us had experience with sounds.

We went to what's called a "lab" here, I suppose a seminar? About female sounding. It wasn't even on our radar but talked about it after the class. We got to watch a woman being sounded and it looked hot.

We did some online research, got the right supplies and tried it very gently.

So yeah, it's not like I'm going to spread my legs and say go for it while he jabs my peehole with a knitting needle.

With thoughtful research, planning, maybe even searching out someone with experience who's into mentoring and approaching any new kinky activity (especially involving sensitive areas like urethra) carefully and gently, I think being with someone who has no experience is a-ok.

I want to add, I did not think this guy was an asshat in any way. I found his response to be sweet and rather charming. His willingness to look into it was great. The exchange was really nice.

 

[Dreamliner]

Damn, cookie, I just coughed into my coffee.

it's not like I'm going to spread my legs and say go for it while he jabs my peehole with a knitting needle

 

[twister947]

Shank wrote a really good, comprehensive post/tutorial on sounding several years ago. If a Google master would step up and locate it for the community, it would be a valuable resource.

 

[sullivag2]

Shank wrote a really good, comprehensive post/tutorial on sounding several years ago. If a Google master would step up and locate it for the community, it would be a valuable resource.

I found a couple of links but I don't think any are the specific one you refer to.

https://wintertashlin.com/2012/08/21/how-to-use-urethral-sounds/

https://mrracy.com/urethral-sounding-guide/

https://www.healthline.com/health/urethral-sounding

 

[Zionisacat]

Shank wrote a really good, comprehensive post/tutorial on sounding several years ago. If a Google master would step up and locate it for the community, it would be a valuable resource.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=30485785&postcount=13

Was this it?

 

[twister947]

I found a couple of links but I don't think any are the specific one you refer to.

https://wintertashlin.com/2012/08/21/how-to-use-urethral-sounds/

https://mrracy.com/urethral-sounding-guide/

https://www.healthline.com/health/urethral-sounding

Those are great...thank you!

 

[twister947]

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=30485785&postcount=13

Was this it?

Yes! Thanks!

 

[twister947]

Questions on this topic pop up every few months. We really need to get this all together in the Library under Urethral Sounding. Is there a currently active librarian?

 

[seela]

hey baby can i be ur boyfriend and get to know u i am 21 i will be 22 in july and im from [redacted] I'd love to get to know you and fuckin eat your pussy make you fuckin pussy cum and then fuckin bang you so fuckin hard

Fuck yeah!

 

[KimGordon67]

Fuck yeah!

You must be excited ... I'm quite jealous.

 

[seela]

You must be excited ... I'm quite jealous.

Oh yes, so excited. But I can point him your way. I'm a giver by nature.

 

[KimGordon67]

This is always an interesting question, and the general newbie aversion in the bdsm world is both understandable and offputting to me.

At one point everybody has zero experience and all the knowledge is purely theoretical. If no one is willing to be the first one, nobody gets any experience at all.

I can do things and have been with people with zero experience. Experience is not always what matters to me if the person has knowledge, we have a good line of communication and I like the person enough.

Just because someone is inexperienced, it doesn't mean that there isn't some part of the desired activity that you can engage in safely after learning what you can in theory and then start building up your experience from there.

That said, I've found myself growing more and more impatient and it's rare now that I connect with someone on a deep enough level to work through the lack of experience. So I really shouldn't have any great opinions on this topic one way or another.

Edit: this isn't aimed at Annie, just a thought prompted by her post, to be clear.

I've been thinking about this a bit recently ... I'm developing a bit of an interest in switching, and am hoping I've found a guy whose interested in exploring his submissive side. Although I obviously have some limited bdsm experience, very little (pretty much none) on the d side of the equation. But I know that the key is go slow, talk, be careful, don't take things too seriously, talk, and make sure everyone is actually enjoying themselves. I'm interested to see where it ends up going, and if this thing works out, I'll be grateful that this guy has trusted me enough to go with it.