ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[cookiecat]

A video of him doing the writing would be even better.

Oooh. I'll ask!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Im very invested in the outcome of this.

 

[Mei5ter]

Im very invested in the outcome of this.

I'm just curious whether it was regular or diet cock. I mean, coke.

 

[gracie920101]

Im very invested in the outcome of this.

Me too!!!

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Gotta admit, I’m curious to how this one goes, too.

 

[default24]

Same. There's almost no way that he's telling the truth

 

[PaxNurgle]

I get a lot of random messages from totally random people that are along the lines of

"Hi, 40, male, wants to talk with you!"

(uh, okay...Why do you want to talk to me, and what do you want to talk about? Obviously not a hook-up, if you bothered to learn anything about me or even what my gender preference is...)

Or, more than a few, from totally random people I have never had any interaction with will pm simply:

"Hi!"

That's it- no other message.
(uh... hello yourself. End of conversation.)...

EDIT: Oh my God, the irony of this is delicious...right as I was typing this response, I got a notification for a private message. The content of the message, from some random guy named "Gumdrop" was, literally,

"Hi."

Not to be rude but, GO AWAY unless you got something relevant to say to total strangers on the internet.

 

[clearcreek]

Gumdump23 says Hi

I just got this HI with a note to play some computer game

 

[midwestyankee]

Never seen this one before.

First thought -- he might cream his corn, but you are very unlikely to have one
And then google came up with something completely unexpected:
https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/cream-ones-corn.2828402/

As I recall, Penny was from Nebraska, where corn is a major crop. Even though this is almost certainly an invention of the script writers' room, it worked because of her origin story.

ETA: back on topic, I don't think I've written an annoying PM in weeks. Really off my game during the pandemic.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I get a lot of random messages from totally random people that are along the lines of

"Hi, 40, male, wants to talk with you!"

(uh, okay...Why do you want to talk to me, and what do you want to talk about? Obviously not a hook-up, if you bothered to learn anything about me or even what my gender preference is...)

Or, more than a few, from totally random people I have never had any interaction with will pm simply:

"Hi!"

That's it- no other message.
(uh... hello yourself. End of conversation.)...

EDIT: Oh my God, the irony of this is delicious...right as I was typing this response, I got a notification for a private message. The content of the message, from some random guy named "Gumdrop" was, literally,

"Hi."

Not to be rude but, GO AWAY unless you got something relevant to say to total strangers on the internet.

HEY! Gumdrop is a Beautiful Woman who wants to send me erotic pictures if I'll just send my email address...

Gumdrop has been around several times. I think they even started thread in AmPics at one point. (and I see the Mods have done their usual efficient job on PM Spammers).

 

[Orchidea73]

I get a lot of random messages from totally random people that are along the lines of

"Hi, 40, male, wants to talk with you!"

(uh, okay...Why do you want to talk to me, and what do you want to talk about? Obviously not a hook-up, if you bothered to learn anything about me or even what my gender preference is...)

Or, more than a few, from totally random people I have never had any interaction with will pm simply:

"Hi!"

That's it- no other message.
(uh... hello yourself. End of conversation.)...

EDIT: Oh my God, the irony of this is delicious...right as I was typing this response, I got a notification for a private message. The content of the message, from some random guy named "Gumdrop" was, literally,

"Hi."

Not to be rude but, GO AWAY unless you got something relevant to say to total strangers on the internet.

Completely agree with this. The good thing is that I do not receive a lot of msg. In fact, very few, whether from random people or otherwise.

 

[default24]

Oooh. I'll ask!!

Any update? I've been waiting with bated breath and I'm about to pass out

 

[AnnieLit]

Completely agree with this. The good thing is that I do not receive a lot of msg. In fact, very few, whether from random people or otherwise.

Careful with what you wish for! Somebody might see this and you will be swamped. Which might be a good thing or otherwise

 

[Orchidea73]

Careful with what you wish for! Somebody might see this and you will be swamped. Which might be a good thing or otherwise

Ahahahah!
I don't think there is a risk. Been long enough here to test it.

 

[twister947]

Any update? I've been waiting with bated breath and I'm about to pass out

As a point of reference, 2 Coke cans, stacked, are 9.5" high. Diameter 2.6". I can palm a basketball, but can't begin to encircle a Coke can.
I want to see this tower.

 

[default24]

As a point of reference, 2 Coke cans, stacked, are 9.5" high. Diameter 2.6". I can palm a basketball, but can't begin to encircle a Coke can.
I want to see this tower.

Right? Something tells me someone is over-promising and under-delivering

 

[AnnieLit]

Another nominee!

A bit of backstory: I am on a dating site, my profile settings say that I am looking for men age 50 to 60+. Along comes a 23 y.o. asking for access to my private pictures. No hello, no note, just a picture request. Usually I just delete these, but for some unknown reason went to check his profile:

Children: 0
Education: High School
Body Type: Average
Occupation Industry: Construction and Extraction
Drinks: Social Drinker
Height: 5'8"
Relationship: Single

About Me

This app IS NOT just for sugar daddies so y'all really need to calm tf down when you get big mad finding out I don't want a 40 year old sugar baby lmfaoo. YOU need to edit YOUR settings if YOU have a problem with younger guys on here. Miss me with that BS.

I had reply to this, right?

Annie: Reading comprehension is a useful skill in life, you might want to go get some. If my profile sais that I am looking for a man 50 to 60 years old, then in what world can I be even remotely interested in somebody your age?

DL: Definitely not a kid. I'm a grown ass man. It's not my responsibility to go through your profile to see if I'm the age you desire. You should work on your reading comprehension and fix your settings so that guys that aren't your desired age don't even see your profile in the first place! Rude cunt.

Annie: I guess it is tough to be an idiot... Who YOU see is in YOUR settings, not mine. And yes, it IS your responsibility to read profiles before you start bothering people.

Grown up? Maybe in your dreams you are. To me you sound like a kid that was denied a toy.

DL: Wow you're actually retarded. I'm ok with older women so my settings are just fine how they are. If you don't want younger guys then chang the age minimum in your setting so it would be impossible for young guys to see you in the first place. Rude and ignorant. Learn how to use the app correctly before you start talking like a fucking cunt towards people. Stupid bitch.

Let's all wish him happy and fulfilling life!

 

[ashkitten]

Let's all wish him happy and fulfilling life!

May he find someone just as charming as he is!

 

[melimelissa]

worthless. total jerks

it is not worth it:
all this hassle in checking
worthless. total jerks

Méli

(and there are quite a few of these on lit too)

A bit of backstory: I am on a dating site, my profile settings say that I am looking for men age 50 to 60+. Along comes a 23 y.o. asking for access to my private pictures.

Let's all wish him happy and fulfilling life!

 

[ToPleaseHim]

This.

Omg thirded!

 

[AnnieLit]

it is not worth it:
all this hassle in checking
worthless. total jerks

Méli

(and there are quite a few of these on lit too)

Sometimes I do come upon nice guys there. Not of that age though

 

[AnnieLit]

May he find someone just as charming as he is!

Have mercy! What if they have kids?!

 

[ashkitten]

Definitely mediocre as far as bad PMs go, but the messages people with like 1 post always annoy me.

 

[cookiecat]

This wasn't an unsolicited PM but an online conversation with someone I found promising UNTIL we had a conversation about nipples. You know, like you do..

I asked him if he liked his nipples monkeyed with.

He said no way!

I asked why - to be fair, I know some folks just don't like it or too sensitive or whatever.

His reply - it's what gays do.



Guess we better not kiss, have oral, put things up each others holes. Hold hands, hug. All those crazy things gays do.

See ya.

 

[wallstreetguy]

Dudes who want to ask questions.

I am not here for giving advice to aspiring Doms.
On the other hand, I have never gotten a "bad" message from a woman here.