ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[KimGordon67]

You’re like the adult version of a candy man, luring me with booze instead of candy.

Although I could be equally lured by candy as well.

The Two Paddocks is pretty good ... it would take a fairly exceptional candy to top that.

 

[seela]

The Two Paddocks is pretty good ... it would take a fairly exceptional candy to top that.

I’m more of a beer drinker, though. And candy and booze occupy very different boxes, definitely not mutually exclusive to me.

 

[KimGordon67]

I’m more of a beer drinker, though. And candy and booze occupy very different boxes, definitely not mutually exclusive to me.

Then I will lure you with the beer brewed in the tiny brewery down the road from me ... described by many as 'the best beer they've ever drunk'.

 

[77fbird400]

I replied I wasn't quite feeling it...

Socially and professionally, a woman is a man's equal, but sexually behind closed doors, there is no fucking way for a piece of pussy to ever think or imagine that she is equal to a man. She knows it is not truth. She may play a role or pretend that it is, but secretly, naturally, innately she knows, intuitively, instinctively she knows she is inferior, and secretly craves to be put in her place, and used, abused to serve a dominant man who will not ask but merely take it, and do with it as he so wishes. If she is real about it.

I can't imagine why a grown man would ever ask a woman's opinion about anything of a sexual nature. To be sure, socially and professionally, she should be listened to, spoiled, pampered, enjoyed, and made to feel enjoyed. I like women, and like it when a woman throws her back when she laughs out loud, or wiggles when she walks in some sexy heels.

To be certain, that professionally and socially she is a man's peer and equal. But sexually, pussy is, pussy always has been, and pussy shall forever be, sexually inferior, and I can't imagine why a grown man would ever waste his time and energy asking a piece of pussy's opinion about something sexual in nature.

Take her in your arms, whisper in her ear what you want or desire, or intend to do, and if she hesitates even slightly, then slap her face repeatedly serveral times until she is gasping and breathless. Turn her around, unzip her dress and let it fall to the fall, while gently kissing her shoulder, and slip her bra off. Then tie her hands behind her back tightly, and turn her around, and slap's her face, put her on her knees, take her hair in your hands, and explain to a woman the facts of life, while whipping her titties.

And, when she is crying, weeping, whimpering, promising to be such a good lil bitch, then spank her ass, HARD, and when you put your dick in her mouth, make sure she can count all 8-9 inches of it until gagging. This teaches her call early in the relationship that when she is looking at your dick. She is doing so with reverence understanding who is the boss, and who is the bitch. Nothing like a woman who knows her fucking proper place. Don't you agree, baby girl?

Whoring a bitch out is fun, but Gang banging a slut without first breaking and molding her is a waste of time, because women are socialized to think that their pussy has power and to many weak ass males have perpetrated this lie. So she is giving it away for fun, when it should taken, abused, dominated, exploited, whored out to be thoroughly enjoyed as a man's property. The most important question a bitch asks is simply this..."who owns this pussy as property"? That is the most important question to be answered for any woman, and therefore she will do what she is told, when she is told, and how the fuck she is told. Feel me woman?

If they're smart, they'll use a VPN, proxy server or their cell hotspot to bypass their school's content filters. And if they're smarter, they'll use a spare cell phone and leave it in their back pack so the teacher can't confiscate it and basically will never find it. And by responding and acknowledging these types of messages in this thread (like I'm doing now), we're just reinforcing this behavior?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

If they're smart, they'll use a VPN, proxy server or their cell hotspot to bypass their school's content filters. And if they're smarter, they'll use a spare cell phone and leave it in their back pack so the teacher can't confiscate it and basically will never find it. And by responding and acknowledging these types of messages in this thread (like I'm doing now), we're just reinforcing this behavior?

They are dicks but they are unsophisticated dicks.

Hiding bullshit toxic masculinity hasnt worked for the past few millenia. I think we should try something new.

 

[Dreamliner]

Then I will lure you with the beer brewed in the tiny brewery down the road from me ... described by many as 'the best beer they've ever drunk'.

The company we are having that drink with tends to influence our view on what we are drinking. Good company, good wine or beer.

 

[seela]

Then I will lure you with the beer brewed in the tiny brewery down the road from me ... described by many as 'the best beer they've ever drunk'.

The company we are having that drink with tends to influence our view on what we are drinking. Good company, good wine or beer.

Well I'll definitely let you know when I'm there! I expect greatness.

 

[Orchidea73]

I’ve honestly just stopped answering. I used to, for amusement, but now I’m just so done.

I think I had only one "Dom" who sent me a msg. He was actually "normal" but I was kind of amused and I replied. He send me a list of things he liked to do. It wasn't sexual but ordinary, everyday kind of thing. I became even more amused but he did piss off when he said that he would like to choose what I wear. From shoes to lingerie. GTFO. Ima was not amused anymore.

 

[Dreamliner]

Well I'll definitely let you know when I'm there! I expect greatness.

We will need to bring our A game!

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Long time listener, first time caller...

Yesterday I was discussing Ashattery and similar behavior with a Lit friend, and low and behold, today I get my first Asshat message. I didn't know women Asshats existed:

Ms. Asshat : Hello

Me: Hi. Welcome to (website). What's on your mind?

Ms. Asshat: thank you will you serve me slave.

Me: (it took a minute to process that) No. I think not. You have the wrong man here. I am a Dom (exaggerating)...if you would like to compare notes, that would be interesting...if you are ready to switch and experience what your slaves experience, I can help... (bluffing)

Ms. Asshat: It's alright I am fine with it

Me: Fine with what?

I think I scared her off...crickets for the last three hours...

 

[Mei5ter]

Long time listener, first time caller...

Yesterday I was discussing Ashattery and similar behavior with a Lit friend, and low and behold, today I get my first Asshat message. I didn't know women Asshats existed:

Ms. Asshat : Hello

Me: Hi. Welcome to (website). What's on your mind?

Ms. Asshat: thank you will you serve me slave.

Me: (it took a minute to process that) No. I think not. You have the wrong man here. I am a Dom (exaggerating)...if you would like to compare notes, that would be interesting...if you are ready to switch and experience what your slaves experience, I can help... (bluffing)

Ms. Asshat: It's alright I am fine with it

Me: Fine with what?

I think I scared her off...crickets for the last three hours...

Self identification notwithstanding, I'm curious if the sender was in any sense female?

But it's heartening to think that asshattery is open to all!

 

[seela]

I got a very long and detailed description of a porn shoot someone would like to do with me. It included everything: the place, what we're both wearing, my hair and make up, even the color of my nails, what would happen and in which order and even the back story.

I was to be a warrior princess wearing chainmail lingerie, he was a slave I had captured in a battle and taken on a small deserted island right outside the castle where I lived so that I can use and abuse him without others knowing about it. The island is where the shoot was gonna take place, the castle would act as a pretty backdrop. (The castle really exists, maybe the island too?)

The whole sex thing was described very meticulously and included things like "you pull out a silver hair comb that was holding your luscious locks up in a messy bun, you let your auburn hair fall onto my chest and I can see it still has signs of the battle in it in the form of dust and dried blood". (Ew.)

He also described how I would "skillfully use my diamond embellished sword to cut his simple leather clothes into pieces", but he never mentioned me removing my chainmail underwear. So for example the copious amounts of face sitting was just him licking my chainmail.

I sent him a message to point out this flaw, and he replied by sending the same thing again, only this time he had added a line telling I remove my clothes.

It didn't happen on Lit and sadly my English skills completely fail to portray the true poetry of his vision, but if anybody's interested in shooting medieval chainmail porn on location, I can hook you up!

I’m currently visiting the city where this imaginary porn shoot took place. I might finally get an answer to if the exact location on a small island described in very close detail is real or not. How exciting!

 

[AnnieLit]

Long time listener, first time caller...

Yesterday I was discussing Ashattery and similar behavior with a Lit friend, and low and behold, today I get my first Asshat message. I didn't know women Asshats existed:

Ms. Asshat : Hello

Me: Hi. Welcome to (website). What's on your mind?

Ms. Asshat: thank you will you serve me slave.

Me: (it took a minute to process that) No. I think not. You have the wrong man here. I am a Dom (exaggerating)...if you would like to compare notes, that would be interesting...if you are ready to switch and experience what your slaves experience, I can help... (bluffing)

Ms. Asshat: It's alright I am fine with it

Me: Fine with what?

I think I scared her off...crickets for the last three hours...

Wow! That's a first for sure
Though looks more like a man that does not speak English well, rather than a woman. He probably clicked on a wrong name

 

[AnnieLit]

If they're smart, they'll use a VPN, proxy server or their cell hotspot to bypass their school's content filters. And if they're smarter, they'll use a spare cell phone and leave it in their back pack so the teacher can't confiscate it and basically will never find it. And by responding and acknowledging these types of messages in this thread (like I'm doing now), we're just reinforcing this behavior?

Thank you for bringing this old comment up, I have not seen it before. Now I wonder how is the life treating that person for the last four years. Sorry, I can't call him a man, that would be an insult to everybody else.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I so wish I could share it

 

[Acktion]

If they're smart, they'll use a VPN, proxy server or their cell hotspot to bypass their school's content filters. And if they're smarter, they'll use a spare cell phone and leave it in their back pack so the teacher can't confiscate it and basically will never find it. And by responding and acknowledging these types of messages in this thread (like I'm doing now), we're just reinforcing this behavior?

I think of it more as the warning on a hairdryer it isn't meant to be used IN the shower. Sticking that label on didn't cause anybody to start taking their hairdryer in the shower. It's not a case of "if you build it, they will come."

On the other hand, there are a lot of dumbasses out there that think duct taping the surge protector to the block of wood means they can float their boom box out in the pool with them despite any warnings on the electrical cords. "'Cause shucks, honey, hunnerds and hunnerds of times ain't nuffin' happen." So, the label isn't there to save those Darwin thinks need culling either.

At the end of the day, it's really all about that one lone soul floating around the infernal net, wondering how they go about talking to someone they want to get frisky with, that will actually pause and read the label and decide "maybe electricity and water don't really mix too good outside of lightning storms."

On the other hand, I've never ended up in here. I know because every time it floats to the top, I flush it and check again. I might think a little differently if I were the sort that my PMs could end up posted here.

But, the day is still young yet. I could end up here by this afternoon. There is just no telling.

Nah. I'd have to turn mine back on to manage it. I'll stick to being an asshat in public so everybody knows.

***shrug*** Aesop's moral would be "don't be a shmuck just because you've got hair on your schmeckle. Some will come natural. Don't do more than is your just due."

 

[Acktion]

I so wish I could share it

Oh, damn. If it's too bad to post here...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Oh, damn. If it's too bad to post here...

It’s tricky and feels unethical, but sometimes someone will send me a PM asking for some kind of mod help…and in the process end up on my watch list of creepy mfers. This one resulted in an alert sent to site admin and a warning to another member to watch out. I don’t usually think we should have ban powers, but some times I wish I did.

 

[Acktion]

It’s tricky and feels unethical, but sometimes someone will send me a PM asking for some kind of mod help…and in the process end up on my watch list of creepy mfers. This one resulted in an alert sent to site admin and a warning to another member to watch out. I don’t usually think we should have ban powers, but some times I wish I did.

And this is why me being a moderator for anything would fall under the heading "A Really Bad Idea."

Well, and unreliable infernal net. But, at least that problem may finally be fixed. The monkey in me never will be.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Write there , their ,



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwuIWZ9wRmw

 

[Fingerfuxs]

When you throw that all net ball

Swhooossh

 

[Acktion]

why is it that some guys think that just because a woman is sexpositive and open-minded they just can jump into things without any hello or getting to know each other?

Answer from elsewhere about why a conversation always turns to sex when a girl talks to a guy copied and pasted over. Not all of it is strictly relevant, but I thought most was other than one or two paragraphs about her choice to talk to him. And I'm not currently feeling up to typing all that again...

*****

The simple answer; boys/men and girls/women are different in more ways than just their genitalia.

Look, way back in college I changed my major from the engineering key to the human services field primarily because of this exact question; Why are men and women so incredibly different when it comes to sex and the part it plays in a relationship?

Oh, I admit that there was a little more to it my pursuing a bachelor's degree in pursuit of a potential career as a counselor specializing in sex therapy that led me to take courses on sexuality and human behavior the way most study Math or History or Literature. But it was a seminal question early on that began the transition as I tried to figure out why my second failed engagement failed. And continued to crop up as I figured out that the more I learned, the less I knew.

In my distant childhood and adolescence, I can remember being told “men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love.”

All these decades later, due to life experience as well as collegiate studies that examined relationships and human sexuality, I can confidently say that just isn’t true.

For many, possibly even most men, sex IS love and love IS sex. It’s the only way they recognize it and are comfortable with it.

All right, so think about this one for a minute. Look at little boys and little girls on a playground before sex ever even becomes a thing.

Little girls walk around holding hands with each other, they hug each other and say “you’re my best friend! I love you!” When they do things together, they do them together in a cooperative effort, from skipping rope to whatever else. Mostly talk.

Little boys punch each other, hit things with sticks, and call each other names. When they play “together,” it is a competition more often than not. And they almost always have to be DOING something. Sitting around talking is… not comfortable. (Don’t even get me started on playground taunts of “sissy,” “gay,” “little gurl” or whatever that somehow indicates a little boy is different and somehow less than his cohort.)

Now, quite a bit of this is the nature of the biochemical stew brewing inside their bodies, glandular production, development of myelin connections. But, quite a bit of it is also the nurture of socialization and acculturation. People who argue one to the exclusion of the other are half-blind.

Let me pause right here and point out that I’m very well aware that some little girls are “tomboyish” and some little boys are “more sensitive” or whatever the current politically correct terms are. I know. The individual is never the aggregate and the aggregate never adequately addresses the individuality. I’m just talking in the same broad strokes as medical, psychological, and sociological texts to answer a broad, sweeping question. Expecting the individual to ever be “normal” as touted by such when they take the average is just a way to wrong with supreme confidence.

Any road, where was I?

Oh, yes.

Enter puberty.

Now, pause and think about this one for just a moment.

Sex becomes a thing. Mostly a half-whispered game of “telephone” amongst the cohort because the adults are in denial that their hatchling is fledging. And it’s the very rare member of the one gender that will actually speak to a member of the other gender and compare notes.

So, instead, you get little boys talking to other little boys who don’t have any more clue about little girls than they do. And you get little girls talking to little girls who don’t have any more clue about little boys than they do. And you’ve got mass media that is much more interested in making money than in educating, and so cater to the myriad fantasies on both sides of the biological coin rather than stark reality.

Shadows in the cave, people. Shadows in the cave.

And lest we forget, there are these weird hormones kicking up a fuss as they make changes to our bodies in preparation for the continuation of the species. It’s simple biology.

Enter nocturnal emissions, aka Wet Dreams. And a rediscovery of masturbation that was discouraged in toddlerhood when rubbing ourselves felt good, and we neither knew nor cared why, but the big people in our lives told us not to do that. Only now, something major happens when we rub the djinn’s lamp.

Meanwhile upstairs, the amygdala gets a heavy kickstart, serotonin and dopamine spike, the cortex (the emotion as well as cognitive center) gets a whole ton of new wrinkles, and the pre-frontal cortex is lagging way behind and won’t be fully online until sometime in the mid-twenties. Oh, and cross-connections between the temporal and parietal lobes, an area responsible for both empathy and the differentiation of “self” and “other,” are still forming.

In laymen’s terms, “I wanna” holds sway while the “I oughta” filter is still on order.

But, set the neurological nerdgasm aside for just a moment.

Which guy is it that you are talking to?

I’m gonna go out on a limb and take a WAG (a wild-assed guess) that it is most likely the most competitive, the most confident specimen available that has snagged your attention..

It’s fine. You don’t have to admit it to me. But, you should admit it to yourself. Take a long hard look at just what it is that is attractive to you, why you focused on this one instead of that one. And odds are that those things only exist because of his very competitive nature and socialization.

This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a jock. Physical prowess may not appeal to you as much as intellectual pursuits. Or musicality. Artistry. Or whatever floats your particular boat. But, whatever field you are drawn to, odds are that you are drawn to the best in that field.

Have you ever heard the term “trophy wife?”

We’ll come back to that.

Let’s talk about masturbation for just a moment, if I may. I’ll try not to be too prurient.

A post-pubescent male child engaging in masturbation tends to focus on one thing, stroking the penis in a manner that (although they typically don’t realize it at first) simulates thrusting in and out of a vagina. Oh, sure, some might try stimulating their nipples or anus. But, typically all roads lead back to that stroke.

A post-pubescent female child on the other hand, has a whole lot more going on. A whole lot more. And not just in their body either. First, the mental and emotional state of the female plays a much more important role in just whether they are experiencing what they identify as sexual arousal, whether they are even moved to self-gratify or not as compared to the male who may be fully erect due to nothing more than the barometric pressure went up.

I do apologize if that offends anyone, but that fact of the matter is if a man-child is sporting a stiffy, it doesn’t necessarily have a damn thing to do with you. The engineering department set this machine up so that glandular production is constant and when the reservoir is full, it dumps. Don’t worry about it, though. ’Cause if you’re around when they went spoing, they probably thought it had something to do with you too.

Now, that probably sounds like they are just walking around and would fuck a knothole if they didn’t have to worry about splinters. And some would. But, if it sounds like they don’t need love and emotional connection, nothing could be further from the truth.

The problem is, remember, through both nature and nurture, they are much more limited in just how they understand those things, in the ways that they are practiced in expressing them. And in the ways they can recognize it being offered to them.

“This girl likes me! She let me hold her hand!”

“Wait! This girl likes me more! She let me kiss her lips!”

“Oh, my God! I touched a bewb! She really, really likes me!”

And it goes on.

Oh, but hold the judgement just a moment. It takes two to tango. Think about it. Why do you let this one kiss you but not that one? Why do you let this one touch you but not that one?

“Why not me?! What’s wrong with me?”

And what do you say?

“I don’t like you like that.”

Hey, there, little trophy. Do you even realize that you just dug your spurs in on your highly competitive stallion? What does he have to do to be the one you want to do those things with?

I know that’s not what you meant. I recognize full well that you mean you aren’t wanting anyone that way yet if ever. I’m just telling you what’s going on behind his eyeballs on such a deep level that even he doesn’t realize it.

One day, he looked up and realized that he likes you differently than the other girls (and guys) around. And he wants to move you from the group that he considers friend to a higher echelon. But, in his mind, that means sex is involved. Because that is all there is that he understands separates the plateaus. And once the idea of sex sparks for him, it is always there like a background hum.

He makes an advance. You shut him down. If he’s worth anything, he took that like a man and backed off. But, the hum is still there, even slightly louder. Eventually, he’s going to bring it up again. After all, you are still around and he still has these feelings that he just doesn’t know how to express any other way.

Am I saying you should just put up with it? Hell no! Even if you want him to like you, even if you want him to be your boyfriend or whatever, NEVER let anyone pressure you into crossing your boundaries.

If you are not comfortable being touched that way, then don’t let them.

If you are not comfortable being talked to that way, then don’t let them.

If they persist when you’ve said to desist, then you will be much better off to cut them loose. If they don’t respect your boundaries, then they don’t respect you.

If they will not allow you to stay away from them, but pursue you despite you making it clear their advances aren’t welcome, enlist the appropriate authority figures to make them grow up and behave.

*****

***shrug*** In a nutshell, Anja, it falls back to "sex-positive" Johari's Window being very different things for the different genders based on both nature and nurture in which the manly man is supposed to go out and hunt what he wants while the womanly woman is supposed to gather what she accepts and seminal misunderstandings and working to cross purposes in a changing modern culture.

Best wishes for the sun out of your eyes and the wind at your back for a brighter tomorrow than yesterday. Just continue being you and remember that anyone has a problem accepting you as you are rather than the way they think you should be, the problem is theirs, not yours.

 

[Acktion]

Disagree, Puck.
I think the world allows men to be entitled assholes, and many of them wallow in that.
Men can be taught not to be.

These asshat emails are not about sex. They are about entitlement.

Hi, Fara.

I confess I am a bit lost. I was answering the specific question Anja asked, about why do guys leapfrog to sexual stuff when a gal presents as sex-positive. I certainly didn't mean to imply that the bulk of messages posted here weren't reprehensible behavior on the part of the senders.

This is also why I specifically mentioned that both nurture (socialization and acculturation) and nature have their part to play in personality development and neither one can be discounted, but spent rather more time discussing the acculturation aspects. As someone who was waterboarded the first time when I was seven and fought pneumonia for over a month, I'm not about to climb on board the crazy train of allowing a jackass bully to hide behind "boys will be boys."

I do apologize if I somehow seemed to be minimizing assholes being assholes as I attempted to answer the specific question Anja asked about why guys leapfrog to sex faster, attempting to skip what gals perceive as "the intervening steps."

 

[KimGordon67]

Slight variation on the theme ... older guy approaches me on an entirely other platform. It's clear from his profile that he is, in all likelihood, married. I point out that I'm not really interested in married people (which is entirely clear in my profile). I get this ...

"I am very well educated with a great sense of humour and a lust for life. I think you are a very interesting woman. Sexy pics and obviously a sharp mind (and tongue?) I don’t do absolutes because I think that would be silly.

I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you just try chatting with me for a while and then you can tell me to fuck off if you want. [redacted] on Kik or [redacted].
You can ignore me now to satisfy some adamantine moral figment or have some fun before life ticks over another season"

This is not uncommon - guys who are usually my age or a little older who treat me like they're metaphorically patting me on the head, often with 'I'm very well educated' thrown in because that's meant to be impressive somehow, and clearly that'll make me make an exception, because what girl doesn't want to drop her pants for someone who can use a four-syllable word, regardless of his marital status? (The irony is that in most cases, I probably have more degrees than they do. Not that it's a competition. But if it was a competition, I'd win.)

 

[KimGordon67]

Kim, you win even if you had a HS diploma.

I may have sent a slightly bitchy response.