ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[twister947]

He made me feel inferior. Adamantine?

 

[KimGordon67]

He made me feel inferior. Adamantine?

Such a bullshit move - trying to make himself look big by using obscure words. I had to look it up. It basically means 'inflexible'.

 

[cheekygirl75]

Such a bullshit move - trying to make himself look big by using obscure words. I had to look it up. It basically means 'inflexible'.

Isn't adamantine what Wolverine has in his skeleton? That's the only reason I know that word

 

[KimGordon67]

Isn't adamantine what Wolverine has in his skeleton? That's the only reason I know that word

Seems likely. Does he have a super strong skeleton?

 

[cheekygirl75]

Seems likely. Does he have a super strong skeleton?

I think so... and I'm wondering if that's the only reason why the message guy knew the word too lol

 

[WerdNerd]

Slight variation on the theme ... older guy approaches me on an entirely other platform. It's clear from his profile that he is, in all likelihood, married. I point out that I'm not really interested in married people (which is entirely clear in my profile). I get this ...

"I am very well educated with a great sense of humour and a lust for life. I think you are a very interesting woman. Sexy pics and obviously a sharp mind (and tongue?) I don’t do absolutes because I think that would be silly.

I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you just try chatting with me for a while and then you can tell me to fuck off if you want. [redacted] on Kik or [redacted].
You can ignore me now to satisfy some adamantine moral figment or have some fun before life ticks over another season"

This is not uncommon - guys who are usually my age or a little older who treat me like they're metaphorically patting me on the head, often with 'I'm very well educated' thrown in because that's meant to be impressive somehow, and clearly that'll make me make an exception, because what girl doesn't want to drop her pants for someone who can use a four-syllable word, regardless of his marital status? (The irony is that in most cases, I probably have more degrees than they do. Not that it's a competition. But if it was a competition, I'd win.)

Wow! What a condescending douche. He probably blames the women every time this patronizing line of pompous bullshit doesn't work for him and I'm guessing that's every time.

I feel confident in saying this because I too am very well educated and have a lust for life.

 

[KimGordon67]

Wow! What a condescending douche. He probably blames the women every time this patronizing line of pompous bullshit doesn't work for him and I'm guessing that's every time.

I feel confident in saying this because I too am very well educated and have a lust for life.

I'm pretty skeptical about his 'great sense of humour'. He clearly takes himself way too seriously, and that's never a good sign.
But yeah, he'll be telling himself that I'm clearly just not smart enough to appreciate his worldliness, or that I'm frigid, or something ... the site he messaged me on only allows three messages in a 24 hour window if you don't pay (which he hasn't) ... I'll no doubt get a message explaining what I've missed out on later this evening. Maybe I'll send him a summary of the Asshat thread reviews.

 

[cookiecat]

Slight variation on the theme ... older guy approaches me on an entirely other platform. It's clear from his profile that he is, in all likelihood, married. I point out that I'm not really interested in married people (which is entirely clear in my profile). I get this ...

"I am very well educated with a great sense of humour and a lust for life. I think you are a very interesting woman. Sexy pics and obviously a sharp mind (and tongue?) I don’t do absolutes because I think that would be silly.

I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you just try chatting with me for a while and then you can tell me to fuck off if you want. [redacted] on Kik or [redacted].
You can ignore me now to satisfy some adamantine moral figment or have some fun before life ticks over another season"

This is not uncommon - guys who are usually my age or a little older who treat me like they're metaphorically patting me on the head, often with 'I'm very well educated' thrown in because that's meant to be impressive somehow, and clearly that'll make me make an exception, because what girl doesn't want to drop her pants for someone who can use a four-syllable word, regardless of his marital status? (The irony is that in most cases, I probably have more degrees than they do. Not that it's a competition. But if it was a competition, I'd win.)

I got this a lot - the married guy trying to convince me to give them a spin. Wife is sick, wife hates sex, they grew apart but have to stay together for kids, money, whatever.

The dealbreaker is when I tell them I want what the wife has. Help me carry in the groceries, plan a vacation with me, make contributions to my 401k, will he be available if I get a flat tire, can he put me on his insurance plan?

Suddenly I'm a gold digger.

Ummm. No. I'm just interested in the same deal your wife has except there will be better sex.

 

[KimGordon67]

I got this a lot - the married guy trying to convince me to give them a spin. Wife is sick, wife hates sex, they grew apart but have to stay together for kids, money, whatever.

The dealbreaker is when I tell them I want what the wife has. Help me carry in the groceries, plan a vacation with me, make contributions to my 401k, will he be available if I get a flat tire, can he put me on his insurance plan?

Suddenly I'm a gold digger.

Ummm. No. I'm just interested in the same deal your wife has except there will be better sex.

My guess is that their wives aren't getting a lot of that stuff either. Going by the way they behave, there's usually a pretty obvious reason for why the marriage is 'unhappy'.

The ego just amazes me though. Like, even when you have a clear statement about married men, they somehow think that they're some magical exception because ... what? Because they're so educated? Or they're so domly? Or we're really just desperate?
Dicks.

 

[twister947]

A lion will never have to tell you it's a lion...

 

[jason28053]

I got this a lot - the married guy trying to convince me to give them a spin. Wife is sick, wife hates sex, they grew apart but have to stay together for kids, money, whatever.

The dealbreaker is when I tell them I want what the wife has. Help me carry in the groceries, plan a vacation with me, make contributions to my 401k, will he be available if I get a flat tire, can he put me on his insurance plan?

Suddenly I'm a gold digger.

Ummm. No. I'm just interested in the same deal your wife has except there will be better sex.

That seems fair Cookie

 

[gracie920101]

Are you a man?

"Chat ? - Today, 09:21 AM
Hi, are u a woman ?"



If you can't figure it out from my user name or profile pic, you need to just turn in your man card.

I just deleted it. Not worth my sarcasm to respond.

 

[seela]

An abridged version of really wordy PMs:

Guy: Hello, I saw your post about humiliation. Would you like to tell me more about how the humiliation games have worked in past and what you have done? I have some ideas that you might find interesting.

Me: Thanks for the PM. Sorry, I’m not really interested in talking in PMs now, but why don’t you post your thoughts, experiences and questions in the thread? That way other people can chime in and maybe learn from your ideas.

Guy: I don’t need lessons on what to do from cunts like you.

Dude…

 

[melimelissa]

House Parties

K**gC*c*9in▸Rule # 1

K**gC*c*9in▸No panties meli

melimelissa▸Rule # 2 go fuck yourself moron

10169▸wow LOL

K**gC*c*9in▸Thats so cold

melimelissa▸what you expect a house party - now go away

K**gC*c*9in▸I was just trying to have fun with you

melimelissa▸you were behaving like an idiot - now go grow up

K**gC*c*9in▸Why would you do this to me

K**gC*c*9in▸I was hard but you're so rude

K**gC*c*9in▸You made my morning glory soft

PTTY▸hahahahahahahahahaha

melimelissa▸kc - leave me alone - okay?

PTTY▸takedown

PTTY▸worst name

M▸Think name will be changed now

PTTY▸"what you expect a house party" i'm still giggling

timing▸sets the bar pretty high


(he had three chances
before his ruminations
were shared in the room)

PS:

HF69▸What's your favorite room in the house to give your man head?

melimelissa▸What's your favourite room in the house to appear to be a prurient idiot?

Méli

 

[ToPleaseHim]

“I was hard but you’re rude”

Okay, dude. You may worship your cock, but random women on the Internet don’t give a damn about your hard-on, FFS.

Well done, Meli.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Dang. Now I have to go read a bunch of Asterix comics to remember which book this is from. I'm good with that.

 

[MeekMe]

An abridged version of really wordy PMs:

Guy: Hello, I saw your post about humiliation. Would you like to tell me more about how the humiliation games have worked in past and what you have done? I have some ideas that you might find interesting.

Me: Thanks for the PM. Sorry, I’m not really interested in talking in PMs now, but why don’t you post your thoughts, experiences and questions in the thread? That way other people can chime in and maybe learn from your ideas.

Guy: I don’t need lessons on what to do from cunts like you.

Dude…

Because he had no ideas of his own. Dude thought he was so smart and was going to get some wank fodder and was angry you shut him down.

Guys like this are pathetic. PATHETIC.

 

[seela]

Because he had no ideas of his own. Dude thought he was so smart and was going to get some wank fodder and was angry you shut him down.

Guys like this are pathetic. PATHETIC.

I wonder if calling me cunt was one of his humiliation ideas?

 

[melimelissa]

It's from Asterix
en Helvète - from the cheesy
fondue episode

Smiles

Méli

Dang. Now I have to go read a bunch of Asterix comics to remember which book this is from. I'm good with that.

 

[Bramblethorn]

K**gC*c*9in▸Why would you do this to me

K**gC*c*9in▸I was hard but you're so rude

K**gC*c*9in▸You made my morning glory soft

Winning!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Dang. Now I have to go read a bunch of Asterix comics to remember which book this is from. I'm good with that.

Meanwhile, for the gaming nerds:

linked to avoid breaking the page with large images

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Meanwhile, for the gaming nerds:

linked to avoid breaking the page with large images

That’s fantastic!

 

[Acktion]

Meanwhile, for the gaming nerds:

linked to avoid breaking the page with large images

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

A PM about my weight.

Like. I think it was supposed to a compliment but it was so uncalled for and tacky.

 

[Silk_Princess]

A PM about my weight.

Like. I think it was supposed to a compliment but it was so uncalled for and tacky.

WTAF? I would banish that one to the dustbin of your deleted items folder immediately and not give it a second thought. (And not that this should make a difference, but fwiw I have seen your photos occasionally and you are flat-out gorgeous. Unclear why anyone would feel a need to provide further analysis but that's on them not you).