Do you honestly like women?

[Svenskaflicka]

Not the way you put it, Doc. When you state what you think of as facts "this is the way it is", then you're, probably involuntarily, indicating that there is nothing that can be done about this.

And that is something I don't agree with.

 

[TheEarl]

I have seen women to whom my single first reaction is: "I want."

The fact that I don't just act with that reaction is what separate me from primates. I could, if I wanted, force a woman to have sex with me, and probably fuck with her mind enough so that she wouldn't tell anyone. But even if I was destined never to have sex, I still wouldn't do it. Same way that I wouldn't kill anybody, even though I'm sure I could get away with it.

Women are (on the whole) precious creatures and should be treated as such.

The Earl

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I think right now that a very important point to bring up that no one seems to remember is this: MOST RAPE VICTIMS KNOW THEIR ATTACKER. In something like 75-80% of all rapes, the rapist is someone the victim has known for quite some time. It is not about what a woman does or doesn't wear, but often about much deeper issues surrounding power and control.

Beyond that, I AM a feminist (my definition of feminism being the radical notion that women are people) and I routinely use the word slut. This is because I have reclaimed it and don't necessarily see it as dimunitive. The same is true of bitch. I also have referred to myself as a slut and a bitch in a positive way. A slut is a woman who has taken charge of her sexual prowess. Remember, we give power to our words.

Also to address that men are naturally agressive...so are women. I happen to like my sex a little rough every once and awhile too As do quite a few women...I'd get bored with sweet sex all the time.

 

[TheEarl]

To me a slut is a woman who is promiscuous. Not a bad thing IMHO (not taking the piss. Being serious here).

What's your interpretation of bitch? I can only see that as negative.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I think men and women are born rather much equal when it comes to sexual aggression. It's society that teaches us that "normal" boys/men are sexually aggressive and want sex all the time, with whatever female they can get, whereas "normal" girls/women are sexually demure, and that we need love and romance as a bribe to give in and please the lusting beasts.

I have met guys who have preferred spending the whole night hugging instead of having sex, and I have often fucked guys I have no feelings whatsoever for, just because I wanted sex. I have been sexually aggressive, though I wish I had been even MORE!

Would the world have as many control tension issues if we didn't make so many rules about how women mustn't enjoy their sexuality, how men must bribe them to have sex? I think that's what's making this tension. One person wants something, but can't have it, so he feels powerless, so he decides to take it anyway, to show that he's in control.

 

[DVS]

Re: I have snipped quite a lot of this quote, mind you!

.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

To me a slut is a woman who is promiscuous. Not a bad thing IMHO (not taking the piss. Being serious here).

What's your interpretation of bitch? I can only see that as negative.

The Earl

I've heard these...

"Who is promiscuous? Anyone who has more sex than you do."

"BITCH = Babe In Total Control Of Herself"

I've also heard some people claim that bitch is a female dog.

 

[TheEarl]

Heard this one?

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing

The Earl

 

[DVS]

I've also heard some people claim that bitch is a female dog.

A bitch is a female dog. Or, more correctly, a female dog is called a bitch.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Rapists don't choose their victims because they dress in this way or another. They choose them because they happen to be there at the time he wants to rape someone. A girl can dress like an eskimo and stilla rouse a rapist. To me, it's ridiculous to tell girls not to dress sexy, or they might attract attention. A girl has the right to dress as sexy as she wants to, and still DEMAND to be untouched.

Dress is not a factor. Men who have raped women, and then been interviewed, have never said "I did it because she looked so hot in that black dress". They say "I did it because I wanted it. I did it to her because she was there."

I'll never tell my daughter that she will be safe if she dress decent. She won't be. She will be safer if she knows how to scream "NO!" from the top of her lungs if a boy tries to touch her in a way she doesn't like. She will be safer if she knows that she has the right to say no whenever and wherever she wants.

She will be safer if she knows enough martial arts to kick the moron's nuts up into his nostrils if he doesn't want to respect her "no".

 

[Svenskaflicka]

A bitch is a female dog. Or, more correctly, a female dog is called a bitch.

I know. I just forgot to put out the Smiley.

 

[DVS]

.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Sometimes this is true, but someone who rapes as a regular thing will look for victims who are available to him on a regular basis, so he can plan ahead. Sick mind, huh?

Then one can also assume that there are rapists who will only rape women who dress "normal", right? Loose jeans and an old sweatshirt - oh, mama! There IS no safe dress code. No matter what you were, some sicko will like it.

Actually, you are suppose to go along with the rape and act like you are wanting it to happen. This takes away his feeling of control and force that drives him and he loses interest.

No. No. No. You did not say that. You DID NOT say that!!!
DVS, I apologize in advance for being rude to you, but that was THE most IDIOTIC thing I have ever heard anyone say!!!!!!!

 

[DVS]

.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Well isn't that a great way to get pussy, guys!

Just threaten to rape her, and she will become obedient and play along, just so you won't hurt her! Great strategy!

It is also "said" that women who try to fight back, at the risk of being hurt, have

• a better chance of scaring the rapist away, by their kicking and screaming
• feel less guilt and self-blame later on, and
• scared their rapists a bit, instead of making it easy for him and thereby making him think that rape is an easy way of getting what you want without having to go through all the fuss of getting her consent first!
  [/list=a]

 

[TheEarl]

DVS: Sorry, but I'm with Svens here. A lot of stalkers and rapists believe that there is a genuine connection with the woman of their desires. Many rapists say: "Well she wanted it anyway" as though it's mitigating, thus circumventing the kind of logic that sane people use. Pretending as though you want it would encourage these people who sometimes believe the girl is in love with them, even if she says "Get away from me you fucking pervert, I hate your guts."

Plus spot the girl who's going to be rational enough to act when she's being threatened by a rapist.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

no no no no no

DVS-

You must not be catching Oprah!, dear.

Good old Chicago Policed Dept. violent crimes specialist spent quite a bit of time emphasizing that rapists are looking for easy victims. Easy is the important word.

When approached or uncomfortable a woman is supposed to be loud and difficult.. okay, I don't have to work at that part...

I understand your comments about "going along" , and have read real life stories where women have survived the whole encounter because they went along, but the best thing is to never go along in the first place.

90% of victims of violent crime that go to a second location end up dead or missing.

So, put up the fight of your life.

AND

DVS, I have never questioned that you like women. While we have wrestled on this thread... like that visual? you wrestling with Svenska and me.... you have always been particular sweet on the Boards.

b

 

[TheEarl]

To lighten the mood and lower the tone

While we have wrestled on this thread... like that visual? you wrestling with Svenska and me.

Can I watch?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

so dr m, do you like the women in your stories?

dr m-

as i traced back through this thread, i noticed that while you answered in the theoretical, you didn't answer my original queston: do you like the women in your stories?

there is not a right or wrong answer, just a point of curiosity for me.

in the midst of all the theoretical and philosophical ball tossing, the question has been dropped...

since it is my thread, I am picking it back up again...

b

and for the record: I have really liked all but one of my women... the other I merely enjoyed.

 

[DVS]

Re: no no no no no

.

 

[DVS]

Re: To lighten the mood and lower the tone

.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Bridget,

Do I like the women in my stories?

Usually. I'm always falling in love with them. There are a few characters who I've modeled after women who intimidated me or who seemed unapproachable--women who I wouldn't like in real life--but after spending time with them in a story and getting to know them well enough to write them, I get very attached to them.

I write a lot of stories at the request of different women, and a lot of these involve rough sex, groups, and reluctant sex, as well as exposure and humiliation. I can understand the fantasy appeal of the first 3 from both points of view (and I stress that I am speaking only of fantasy) but the last 2 were very difficult for me to understand. One woman especially wanted her story to be more degrading than I was comfortable with. I just couldn't get into it; couldn't treat someone I cared for that way. And if you can't understand the appeal of a certain act or situation, how can you write about it?

My men routinely call women sluts and whores, tramps and bitches. In real life I've known a few women who minded being called these names in the heat of passion, but not many. My women routinely call their lovers bad names too: cocksuckers and motherfuckers and bastards, and my men don't mind it either. Neither do I in real life.

But then I do so like writing about extremely intense, passionate, out-of-your-mind transcendent sex where people are liable to undergo changes in personality and say anything. To my tastes, sweet and considerate sex between two loving people is just not the stuff of literature. No tension, no mystery, no story.

Do I like women in general? No better than I like men in general. Generalities are lies. All of them.


---dr.M.

 

[Pookie]

I like the women in my stories. They may act "sluttish" at times. But I think the men act more "sluttish" (well hopefully you know what I mean).

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts, bad intentions (credit George Carlin) ... words are what we choose them to mean. My best girlfriend and I call each other "bitch" and "slut" all the time it seems. It's not said in a negative way at all. It's terms of endearment between us. Now if someone else said it to me, I probably would take offense ... because of the meaning attached to it at the time.

I personally think guys like to fantasize about having a girl or girls that will just be their sex toy while they masturbate. "Normal" guys probably let it end as soon as they ejaculate. Guys can control what they choose to control. It's the same as chicks. Sometimes I fantasize about just having a few guys in bed with me as my toys with no feelings or emotional attachments ... other than they better get me off good. But it ends after the fantasy is over.

If you can't end the fantasy when the story is over ... then there are other problems involved with that person.

As for rape ... well I was taught to "stay alive". Do what it takes to stay alive. If that means ripping a guy's eye from the socket ... or pulling his cock until it detaches from his body, I will. If it means screaming and running ... I will.

I was taught to be aware of my surroundings. Most girls know what is safe behavior. But I will be damn if I will dress any different just so I don't happen to turn on a guy that might be a rapist.

I might be wrong about this, but I think date-rape is the most common type of rape. Probably the most unreported as well. How should I dress for my dates???

 

[bridgeburner]

Dang. I get here after everyone is all done talking past one another and ready to break out the almond oil for make-up wrestling.

fuggit I'm posting anyway.


1st: I have and do fantasize about any number of things that I would never even consider doing in real life----half of them aren't even possible. I am vehemently opposed to the idea that thinking a thing is as bad as doing a thing or that thinking a thing constitutes an active wish for real consequences. If anyone has serious designs on limiting my fantasy life then I suggest that you allow me to dictate yours as well --- or as the late great Frank Zappa stated: I'll let you be in my dream if you let me be in yours.

2nd: Aside from stories that are specifically meant to be violent, degrading or demeaning there are a huge number of badly written stories where nobody has any real character at all --- male or female. I don't think this neccesarily signifies anything about how the author feels toward one gender or the other. I'm quite certain that it means a lot of people are lousy writers just trying to get themselves off. When you're playing alone who's the most important character? You.

3rd: I'd like to mention for the record that I believe I completely understood both DVS and dr.Mabeus' posts and I didn't find anything particularly shocking or offensive about them. Neither of them excused any person from responsibilty for his/her own actions. DVS pointed out something that I think is a service to people and he got taken to task mightily for it.

---- rather than focusing on clothing which is just a red flag because of court cases in past decades, why don't we look at the steps one takes to ensure that one's home doesn't fall victim to burglary: Windows closed? Locks on the door? Lights in the yard? Burglar alarm? Dog? Gun in the nightstand? No one is required to take any of these precautions in order to maintain his right to property. You can go to bed and leave your doors unlocked, windows open and living room lit showing your nice shiny entertainment center and no one has the right to come in and touch, much less take any of it. .... but you'd agree that someone who left his house so unguarded was perhaps a trifle unwise, wouldn't you?


--- At the same time you can still be robbed no matter how many precautions you take so you'll need to temper your caution with your comfort level or freedom. Locks and alarms but no guns in your household. Dogs and lights but no motion-activated death-rays, maybe.


Okay, I've got plenty more to run my mouth about (what's new) but I must away to fight the traffic.

Good weekends to you all if I don't see you before Monday.

-B

 

[DVS]

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