Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[Trubbycat]

Can I pet you like a cat until you "meow?

hisssssssssssss
Scratch

 

[JennyCapricorn]

I’m planning to donate my public hair to locks of love. Can you help me shave my kitty?

 

[crazychemgirl]

I’m planning to donate my public hair to locks of love. Can you help me shave my kitty?

I was planning on braiding mine into some pine dreadlocks … wanna help?

 

[Otis_Ravelli]

I'd love to run my fingers through your hair. Then do the same to the hair on you head

 

[SWR101]

Need some cream in that coffee…?

 

[crazychemgirl]

my kink is throwing hot coffee on your dick and sucking it off …, is that a problem?

 

[TomTeacher19]

My kink is covering my cock with sugar packets and creamer and then wearing a Starbucks condom and charging 8 bucks to pleasure me. You in?

 

[Shenanigans90]

Drinks are on me tonight baby because my crazy check came in the mail today,

 

[hopeful_wife]

They pay you for that?! All I ever get is a 24-hour hold...

So, uh ... What are you doing about 25 hours from now?

ETA: responding to @Series 6 without hijacking the thread:

26 hours from now would you like breakfast?

Either I'm a sucker for cheesy lines or you keep missing the "incompetent" part of this thread...

 

[Series 6]

They pay you for that?! All I ever get is a 24-hour hold...

So, uh ... What are you doing about 25 hours from now?

26 hours from now would you like breakfast?

 

[LatinaSoCal1995]

Do you always look like that?

 

[Photog1rl]

Damn girl, you make me feel like a pair of chonies cause I want to be all over your ass.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Damn girl, you make me feel like a pair of chonies cause I want to be all over your ass.

Can I make a calendar with you?

 

[SWR101]

It’s a good thing you’re a dragon, because you lit my loins on FIRE! (It’s an STD)

 

[Qky75]

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

 

[UnquietDreams]

Up for a January/December romance?

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Right. Here goes nothing. May I interest you in a pink taco?

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Why don’t you slip into something comfortable, and I’ll watch some porn to get nice and hard.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I usually go for good looking well hung guys, but I'll make an exception for you.

 

[MiaBabe23]

I want to be sure you’re taking this seriously. Here. Let’s see if this fits, was made for someone else’s finger but… What? No, there’s no noise from the trunk…

 

[deft]

I want to be sure you’re taking this seriously. Here. Let’s see if this fits, was made for someone else’s finger but… What? No, there’s no noise from the trunk…

Mia? One of my favourite names... fancy a drink?

No! Please come back! Don't run!

 

[AlwaysDancing]

You got me. I’m a serial killer. But I only target people who turn me on. You should be safe.

 

[hopeful_wife]

It's so nice that we share a kink...

But I should warn you that you're just my type.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

It's so nice that we share a kink...

But I should warn you that you're just my type.

Come into my web said the spider to the fly!
Let’s go hunting and end in a frenzied passionate tryst. But in the interest of self preservation … I’m gonna handcuff ya to the furniture.

 

[SolarClint]

Hi, Um I was just wondering, Do you happen to have any handcuff keys?