Male sub thread

[Satin Kitty 69]

I respect the kink when I respect the person. It takes a lot of guts to admit to wanting someone to call you names, spit on you, belittle you, it takes a lot of guts to admit that you can eroticize something that most people would just find weird.

I have a strange, intellectual warmth for the people I degrade. I understand them. To balk at it, to make a big deal about it...to me that's more insulting than delivering what's needed. When I do, I'm saying it's ok to want this weird thing, you're not going to self implode , and you and I are both strong enough to play with these loaded words and come out ok.

It does take guts, strength and understanding. I'm glad you found that and are able to include such acts in your mutually enjoyed play

 

[ethereal~minx]

I respect the kink when I respect the person. It takes a lot of guts to admit to wanting someone to call you names, spit on you, belittle you, it takes a lot of guts to admit that you can eroticize something that most people would just find weird.

I have a strange, intellectual warmth for the people I degrade. I understand them. To balk at it, to make a big deal about it...to me that's more insulting than delivering what's needed. When I do, I'm saying it's ok to want this weird thing, you're not going to self implode , and you and I are both strong enough to play with these loaded words and come out ok.

!!

 

[Satin Kitty 69]

It has been a while since anyone posted.

A few weeks ago msboy contacted me, since then we found each other compatible and I am now his proud Domme...

My question to everyone is: did you seek out your Domme/sub or did they find you?

 

[Shadowsdream]

It has been a while since anyone posted.

A few weeks ago msboy contacted me, since then we found each other compatible and I am now his proud Domme...

My question to everyone is: did you seek out your Domme/sub or did they find you?

My slave found Me and travelled half way across the world to kneel at My feet in 1999. The rest is history, he still kneels for Me and I am delighted to own him.

 

[SweetDommes]

My question to everyone is: did you seek out your Domme/sub or did they find you?

Ours was a combination of both, with some pure luck thrown in. We have now been seeking for well over a year now, and just started some teasing and banter back and forth with our boy on a munch group list on yahoo (the one that we now have so many problems with ... at least one good thing came of it first). He had been seeking for quite some time as well, and we just connected.

 

[Satin Kitty 69]

My slave found Me and travelled half way across the world to kneel at My feet in 1999. The rest is history, he still kneels for Me and I am delighted to own him.

Sometimes a great distance isn't as far as one thinks at first, when there is one's life waiting in the other place.

I'm happy for you both.

 

[Satin Kitty 69]

Ours was a combination of both, with some pure luck thrown in. We have now been seeking for well over a year now, and just started some teasing and banter back and forth with our boy on a munch group list on yahoo (the one that we now have so many problems with ... at least one good thing came of it first). He had been seeking for quite some time as well, and we just connected.

I'm glad you found him before the problems arised. I find that it is the connection that forms is what makes our play and daily interactions wonderful.

 

[sifer]

Ours was pure freeking luck.

We had met through a heritage social group and became freinds. I got stood up on a date to a fettish party by a 6ft 2in blond goddess. She did the blond thing and hought it was on another day. Now wife/Domme called 2 hr after date was suppose to start and asked if I was doing anything. We had a realy good evening. The next day blondie called to say she was running late; LOL. I infmed her that she was already a day late. After saying goodby Mrs Sifer aske me what the conversation was about and I brought her up to date. Her responce was one of pure delight that I was into fettish etc. She told me of her prior employment as a Domme (I thought ya right) that she has sence proven in many ways.

Now all I can say is

 

[scooterbum]

We were dating on a vanilla basis.

This led to that which led to the other thing and I found nirvana and a tens unit.

 

[Netzach]

I got dragged to a local munch by some friends, it was a fluke.

I spied this scrumptious thing across the room and he spied me and I was pleasantly surprised he would up coming over to talk to me.

 

[MissTaken]

Structure, limits and rules

My post was so damned important it posted twice!

 

[MissTaken]

Structure, limits and rules

How important are these things to you as subs and those Dominants who lurk and post?

What purpose do you believe limits and rules play in your relationship beyond simply giving your relationship a D/s color and texture?

It seems to me that the rules serve many purposes beyond the whole, "I am the Dominant, heed what I say" thing.

Rules discussed and laid out may have underlying reasoning or may simply be a means by which to ensure active and accurate communication. For example, if you are required to ask permission to cum, ask permission to touch yourself or even ask permission to wear a certain garment, in so doing, you are showing your Dominant how often you need what you need. Further, in so doing, these issues are often brought to the forefront of conversation and both can discuss their feelings, wants, needs and desires, all of which are often fluid and transient in nature.

Thoughts anyone?



Oh, and thanks, for giving me some cyber space to blurt out a thought that occurred to me today!

 

[msboy8]

MissTaken

Rules discussed and laid out may have underlying reasoning or may simply be a means by which to ensure active and accurate communication. For example, if you are required to ask permission to cum, ask permission to touch yourself or even ask permission to wear a certain garment, in so doing, you are showing your Dominant how often you need what you need. Further, in so doing, these issues are often brought to the forefront of conversation and both can discuss their feelings, wants, needs and desires, all of which are often fluid and transient in nature.

I totally agree, my Mistress has reasons for everything she does, even if I am not privy to them. We have established some rules to live under and it works.

 

[Satin Kitty 69]

Re: Structure, limits and rules

My sub and I communicate through cyberspace, which has allowed us to meet and for us to continue our D/s relationship.

The down side to cyberspace is that facial expressions, small body language cues, and time to just watch and learn the needs is not readily available. Emoticons and words can only describe a small fraction, and are only available when my sub is consciously aware of what he needs.

Limits and rules, do as MissTaken suggested, provide opportunity to learn about the person whose pleasure I wish to provide. As a Domme I try to use all methods I can to understand my sub's needs.

I also use them to heighten pleasure (cum restriction). If limits are crossed then I try to understand why, and hope that any restoration made benefits both of us in the long run by making both of us aware of his needs or increasing understanding of a situation.

Limits and rules are a part of the relationship, and I beleive intertwinned with the understanding and trust that exists.

I am glad to see you posting your opinion msboy.

 

[Oatmeal110483]

Ok, so I'm new at everything here. But at the same time, I've had a feeling inside of me for the past few years that just screams submissive. However, to my dismay, I've had no one to bring that out of me yet. To be brief, my neck of the woods doesn't have a large amount of mistresses (or at least to my knowledge). The little experience that I've had with other partners leaves a bad taste in my mouth (though I think it's more because they weren't that good at it. That's my take at least). So I guess in short, I'm just biding my time until I find a mistress to take me under her wing.

 

[SweetDommes]

Ok, so I'm new at everything here. But at the same time, I've had a feeling inside of me for the past few years that just screams submissive. However, to my dismay, I've had no one to bring that out of me yet. To be brief, my neck of the woods doesn't have a large amount of mistresses (or at least to my knowledge). The little experience that I've had with other partners leaves a bad taste in my mouth (though I think it's more because they weren't that good at it. That's my take at least). So I guess in short, I'm just biding my time until I find a mistress to take me under her wing.

Hmmm... maybe if we knew what neck of which woods you were in, someone could help you out a bit ...

 

[Oatmeal110483]

Hmmm... maybe if we knew what neck of which woods you were in, someone could help you out a bit ...

Southern North Carolina. A very boring part of the country.

 

[MissTaken]

I totally agree, my Mistress has reasons for everything she does, even if I am not privy to them. We have established some rules to live under and it works.

Thank you, msboy.

Yes, WE have reasons for everything we do, but those reasons are necessarily to be shared. It is for you, the submissive, to accept our guidance, Dominance and dare I say, leadership role and enjoy.,

Does it get any better than that?



I know my sub enjoys letting me take over and yes, enjoys that in so doing, he is giving up not only power, but responsibility. There are times when we are discussing choices that must be made and he smiles wide and says, "You're the boss!"

Mmmm I do love that man!

 

[MissTaken]

Ok, so I'm new at everything here. But at the same time, I've had a feeling inside of me for the past few years that just screams submissive. However, to my dismay, I've had no one to bring that out of me yet. To be brief, my neck of the woods doesn't have a large amount of mistresses (or at least to my knowledge). The little experience that I've had with other partners leaves a bad taste in my mouth (though I think it's more because they weren't that good at it. That's my take at least). So I guess in short, I'm just biding my time until I find a mistress to take me under her wing.

Welcome aboard, oatmeal.

I will say that I live in a very rural area and after some time, I have found their is an underground BDSM scene. There are far more of us than I ever thought existed in rednecksville!



Have you tried alt.com or bondage.com for singles ads?

 

[Oatmeal110483]

Welcome aboard, oatmeal.

I will say that I live in a very rural area and after some time, I have found their is an underground BDSM scene. There are far more of us than I ever thought existed in rednecksville!



Have you tried alt.com or bondage.com for singles ads?

Ty MissTaken. Honestly, I haven't tried any personal ads because frankly I haven't experienced anything worth mentioning yet (the thoughts of liking it, while pretty strong, are just that: thoughts. I'd hate to find someone's personal ad on there and get their hopes up just to find out that I don't like it as much as I thought I would).

 

[msboy8]

Good luck Oatmeal. Before you enter in to a Domme/sub relationship, you need to talk with the person first. Both of you should talk out your expectations, etc. Try finding someone to email first and work up (down) from there.

 

[SweetDommes]

Ty MissTaken. Honestly, I haven't tried any personal ads because frankly I haven't experienced anything worth mentioning yet (the thoughts of liking it, while pretty strong, are just that: thoughts. I'd hate to find someone's personal ad on there and get their hopes up just to find out that I don't like it as much as I thought I would).

I would definately suggest putting up an ad on sites like alt & bondage - but be honest about the fact that you are still exploring, and when you start talking to people, tell them that you aren't exactly sure what you are looking for yet, but that you do want to try things. People who are trustworthy and just worthy in general will respect that.

Miss Karen

 

[MissTaken]

Ty MissTaken. Honestly, I haven't tried any personal ads because frankly I haven't experienced anything worth mentioning yet (the thoughts of liking it, while pretty strong, are just that: thoughts. I'd hate to find someone's personal ad on there and get their hopes up just to find out that I don't like it as much as I thought I would).

Keeping every communication open and honest in all respects will at the very least find you friends.

And will save you much disappointment.

Dittoing SweetDommes

 

[backboard]

Excellent thread!

We are not in the lifestyle 24/7. I wish we were (kids at home.) We have tried both as Dom/Dome and I find that being sub is like taking a rocket to the moon (or Mars, now.)

The total giving of myself, the love and focus of all my thoughts to please my lady.

I a big guy, 6'4" 240 and normally am the in control, strong man in my daily life. The feeling of giving one's self completely is almost overwhelming. We have played with many toys and even panties and the sensual, not knowing what might happen is what made my world turn. Giving all control away and giving complete trust. Being blindfolded heightens all of my senses. What would my dome do to please herself with me?

It really is hard to describe the love that is required to submit fully but it has been worth all.

 

[MissTaken]

Hello backboard!

Reading your post was almost like reading something my sub has written for me.

Very nice!