Non Poetry Posts from the Suddenly Thread

[echoes_s]

Bleah, I messed the tense up in that poem Sarah...
uhmm I do get lost
easily

 

[minsue]

thank goodness for computer age now hey?
no more scattered papier-mache

Make it 'computer-age' instead of 'computer age' and I think you've got a perfect 10 on your hands.

 

[echoes_s]

Make it 'computer-age' instead of 'computer age' and I think you've got a perfect 10 on your hands.

lol, thanks minsue...love the gosling
I pity the poor person doing the reviews when this rush of poetry comes out, last week I had about 9 poems held over 3 days, it's getting close again

 

[Maria2394]

you are the sun
goddess of light
ethereal shining beacon
inspirational bonfire
twisting rain bowed hues
with jousting garden tunes
planting rays of many moon smiles
more real than sputtered digital
though we might not have touched
nor seen through this flicker
bared black and white dot
when your rhyme turns down
cascading crescent tears
many keyboards jump to life
desperately backspacing your fears
deleting with shears
snipping at those who delight
in attempts to cloud the skies
re-tilling your shimmered hoe sights

thank you dear friend

 

[echoes_s]

thank you dear friend

lol, I wasn't sure about the very last line, wishing I could go back and change it to hoed or a different similie, saying to myself....
"please please don't think I am calling you a ho

...but then again, if it made you laugh

 

[Maria2394]

well now echoes
I never thought for a par-sec that you were calling me a ho..now if you had spelled it HO and not HOE, I might have wondered...

and if you had called me that, I wouldnt have been upset, but would have wondered why you put a line like that in such a beautiful poem and really, I have been called a lot worse...once I wa carrying a bag of dogfood out of winn dixie, ( yeah, it was 50 lbs) and two young men caled me a effin dyke..I said, yeah? wel, Ihow bout I get my GF to kick your redneck asses? then smiled real sweet..i heard one of them say, lesbians are dangerous, dude...

now, you know.... you can edit and then submit it, or at least send me a copy of the edited version you are precious and love your AV

this post isnt poetry, but its sure passionate, so thanks for letting me giggle with a silly response. please echoes, dont worry, I am not as uptight as people might think

 

[echoes_s]

well now echoes
I never thought for a par-sec that you were calling me a ho..now if you had spelled it HO and not HOE, I might have wondered...

and if you had called me that, I wouldnt have been upset, but would have wondered why you put a line like that in such a beautiful poem and really, I have been called a lot worse...once I wa carrying a bag of dogfood out of winn dixie, ( yeah, it was 50 lbs) and two young men caled me a effin dyke..I said, yeah? wel, Ihow bout I get my GF to kick your redneck asses? then smiled real sweet..i heard one of them say, lesbians are dangerous, dude...

now, you know.... you can edit and then submit it, or at least send me a copy of the edited version you are precious and love your AV

this post isnt poetry, but its sure passionate, so thanks for letting me giggle with a silly response. please echoes, dont worry, I am not as uptight as people might think

you wanna giggle sweetie/

Well honey, if you was any HO "if possible"...you would be MY HO EVIL: and I would have given you a big ole kiss in front of them and said
"too bad fellows, she's mine, go find your own and quit bitchin about it" geesh, men!

lol, never said that to a woman before
would have been fun


gawd you guys are a bad example on meh.....

 

[echoes_s]

AND THEN I SAID TO MYSELF...

I was going to go to bed early tonight after my bath. MmmM was a great, relaxing bath. Got to thinking of up poem, but was too tired and try and do something with it. Was just going to pass it up
*looks up to see if this was the passion thread!*

What happened last week is still carrying on into this week, just a different turn now and person. Got a lot on my mind, even friggin taxes...yeah, guilty this year of being the last minute....

and I was going to go to sleep early, try to get a good nights sleep, but damn, this poem wouldn't let me be.

So here it is, so anyone have any pointers, shout out please. I seriously don't know if any of the poems I write here are any good, but post the ones I kinda like...

Guess I'll need a coffee for this. Be back in a jiff.

 

[echoes_s]

now, you know.... you can edit and then submit it, or at least send me a copy of the edited version you are precious and love your AV

this post isnt poetry, but its sure passionate, so thanks for letting me giggle with a silly response. please echoes, dont worry, I am not as uptight as people might think [/B]

had to leave the last part in again Maria

I know, but if I did it once, I would be tempted to do it again


and thanks about my AV


psst, I change them so often, I have to check when I log in to see what one is on, except for a few of my favorites. I was blonde when I was born see, til I hit about my teens....

 

[minsue]

Echos, I won't even pretend to have any pointers, I'll leave that to the poets, but I couldn't walk away from your statement that you don't know if any of the poems you post here are any good. Personally, I love your poems, especially the ones on this thread.



- Mindy

 

[echoes_s]

Echos, I won't even pretend to have any pointers, I'll leave that to the poets, but I couldn't walk away from your statement that you don't know if any of the poems you post here are any good. Personally, I love your poems, especially the ones on this thread.



- Mindy

Wow, minsue, thanks. I look at a lot of them and I just see scrabbled words trying to make sense.

at best sometimes

 

[echoes_s]

.

 

[echoes_s]

Just that feeling?

Frothed fingers furrowed
fetching more silken suds
swirling softly circles
centering on skin

Then fists furious
frenzied bubbling
boiled puddles sputtering
on breast, on nipple
just a tease
lonely feast
barely felt
yet just enough
to feel

and nails etch arcs
curves, tracing geometry
on to geographical sites
heights
lazily lifting
gentled mound
underneath
sometimes just brushing the side
and mind sighs
a skip of joy
deeper still
a shivered shudder
flash of heat
ache of breasts
swell a little

then all join in a dance
hand brushing, pressing
sliding deep into skin
almost rough
hell yeah, rough
wetly not a word
to describe the feeling
of jellowed air underneath
always rolling, never breaking

fingers squeeze alternately
or together, sometimes drumming
beating
hard, soft

then nails
pleasing or cruel
to a point
maybe past
for a quick second

and you want to squeeze
your nipples so bad
just that feeling

maybe I should write in "engorged bubbles" instead of boiled ...

 

[echoes_s]

Just that feeling?

Frothed fingers furrowed
fetching more silken suds
swirling softly circles
centering on skin

Then fists furious
frenzied bubbling
boiled puddles sputtering
on breast, on nipple
just a tease
lonely feast
barely felt
yet just enough
to feel

and nails etch arcs
curves, tracing geometry
on to geographical sites
heights
lazily lifting
gentled mound
underneath
sometimes just brushing the side
and mind sighs
a skip of joy
deeper still
a shivered shudder
flash of heat
ache of breasts
swell a little

then all join in a dance
hand brushing, pressing
sliding deep into skin
almost rough
hell yeah, rough
wetly not a word
to describe the feeling
of jellowed air underneath
always rolling, never breaking

fingers squeeze alternately
or together, sometimes drumming
beating
hard, soft

then nails
pleasing or cruel
to a point
maybe past
for a quick second

and you want to squeeze
your nipples so bad
just that feeling

Just that feeling?

Frothed fingers furrowed
fetching more silken suds
swirling softly circles
centering over skin

Then fists furious
frenzied bubbling
engorged puddles sputtering
on breast, on nipple
just a tease
lonely feast
barely felt
yet just enough
to feel

and nails etch arcs
curved geometry
tracing geographical sites
heights
lazily lifting
gentled mound
underneath
sometimes brushing the side
and mind sighs
a skip of joy
deeper still
a shivered shudder
flash of heat
ache of breasts
pulsing swell

then a dance
sensual bliss
hand brush, press
sliding deep onto skin
almost rough
absolute rough
wetly not a word
to describe the feeling
of jellowed air underneath
always rolling, never breaking

fingers squeeze alternately
or together, sometimes drumming
beating
hard, soft
running fingertips
in lazy hazy sweeps
then frantic scream
from nerve endings

nails pleasing or cruel
to a point
edging past
long enough to feel the burn
and evermore distracted itch

and you want to squeeze
your nipples so bad
just that feeling...

 

[echoes_s]

Thanks thenry, a lot of that stuff shouldn't have been posted...doh!

 

[thenry]

Thanks thenry, a lot of that stuff shouldn't have been posted...doh!

Isn't that (suddenly) the point of this thread? At least I do not invoke proximities of time stamps. What are you, lurking with fifteen windows open on your desktop?

 

[echoes_s]

Isn't that (suddenly) the point of this thread? At least I do not invoke proximities of time stamps. What are you, lurking with fifteen windows open on your desktop?

I always thought the suddenly part was for the poem, not for babbling like a bufoon as I have been about anything else

 

[thenry]

Relying as I must upon the thread title, the suddently refers to all of the passion. So, as long as you believed wholeheartedly in your babbling bufoonery or not, I believe it counts.

/wholeheartedly falling to sleep

 

[Guest]

jesus mercy mirrors muses
save my sliding spreading soul
thinning out in feedback clamour
swallowing my ego whole

thinning out in feedback clamour
rocking on semantic waves
short of breath and short of reason
that my lost libido craves

short of breath and short of reason
mind comes out but logic blurred
poured like mantra, not reaction
mocking mimic word by word

poured like mantra, not reaction
sentiment and style escape
jesus mercy mirrors muses
someone, give me back my shape

Don't leave this in here - post it, PLEASE!

It's very good.

 

[echoes_s]

Re: my neighbor's dog

I cradle him in cuddled conversation, cooing,
"Betcha wanna eat a leg, doncha, boy?"

His bark dies to a deafening decibel,
then last grumble drools forth.

I walk past my anxiety,
not aware of sly glances.

He paces the ground for an easy dig.
Soon, there will be a femur to bury.

oh yeah, love this one Eve...

edit to say I wrote one about riding a horse and had to tell him he was a bad boy

 

[WickedEve]

fiber optic wires! yes, better than lines. better...

 

[echoes_s]

do you remember a time
playing patty cakes
in sludge mud
loving the slide
of warm clay
not knowing
what dirty meant
but loving rooted depths
instinctual flow
of veined blood
slip graveled glide
squishing through fingers
quench, then splash
swirl your hands around
spattering droplets
of brown everywhere
and laughing
without a care
wanting to run barefoot
love the freedom
of loose flowing dresses
the breeze
flight flee
across a meadow
of leaves

 

[echoes_s]

dbl post

I like this one better, quick afterthought

 

[WickedEve]

removed because I'm just going to go ahead and submit the thing.

 

[echoes_s]

Re: Do I have Too Many Commas?

Please Don't Feed The Flowers


I heard the snap of stems--
tiny enthusiasm
picking flowers, till chided,
then warned.

The petal's bite shrunk her
from my violets.

Six o'clock shadows
brought mother goose down
from an upper shelf.

Hungry flowers were uprooted
long before slumber.

Now, morning runs barefooted
as Katy leaps over dandelions
that want nothing more than to eat her toes.

I know this, because she told me so.

lol, OK, that's wicked
I need sleep