Literotica's All-time Best "Worst Public Feedback" List

[Guest]

This one came in my email today. I'm figuring it's on my new chapter of "Pick of the Litter."

This message contains feedback for:
This feedback was sent by: Anonymous

Comments:

you is out so tired of yo' self hype what you act like make more anonymous enters you phony girl

Since I didn't even know the chapter was out until I signed in this morning, I thought that was quite funny. I think I would take it more seriously if they used punctuation so I didn't have to try to translate.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Since I didn't even know the chapter was out until I signed in this morning, I thought that was quite funny. I think I would take it more seriously if they used punctuation so I didn't have to try to translate.

DK, that ( fill in the blank ) might have a great future as an agent or editor.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

DK, that ( fill in the blank ) might have a great future as an agent or editor.

Rumple Foreskin

You know, for a moment there, I actually thought he was the editor on my last novel...lol

 

[SweetWitch]

You know, for a moment there, I actually thought he was the editor on my last novel...lol

Snerk...

 

[Frank Noir]

Well, I guess it serves me right for posting to the dreaded "Loving wives", but the first comment for my A Day in the Life of a Used Car Salesman read:

Again you posted, again i say to you the same...youre sick, you need medical help, i feel sorry when i see an old impotent man in such pain...i dont know, maybe you choose to kill yourself, it will be the beat for all

When another poster disagreed, he got this back (from a third poster):

Can't stop intelligent folks from disagreeing with story construction or content, you numb nuts twit. There. You like insults and four letter words? You got them. Everyone needs to know this is a badly written, sorry excuse for a story. The writer is apparently expressing a deeply rooted emotional disorder for which he urgently needs immediate psychological therapy. I hope he gets it.

(Which, by the way, I am now getting... but certainly not for that reason!)

All in all, five wildly disparate replies on the very day it was posted. Checking in that morning, I felt like I's slept through a bloodbath.

 

[scouries]

is this a marshfrog/darkboy joint effort???

Certainly the style reminds me of the swamp and the the spelling and grammar of danicat's world

real dolls
09/15/07 by Anonymous in USA
that's how real the characters have in this story. this may as well be about love dolls fucking, it owuld read the same. switch the names and you couldn't tell the difference between mom and sis in the endless bump and grind. this is nothing but a long fuck scene with people you can't tell apart. the 50% is generous for something done better hundreds of times before

 

[Darkniciad]

Certainly the style reminds me of the swamp and the the spelling and grammar of danicat's world

real dolls
09/15/07 by Anonymous in USA
that's how real the characters have in this story. this may as well be about love dolls fucking, it owuld read the same. switch the names and you couldn't tell the difference between mom and sis in the endless bump and grind. this is nothing but a long fuck scene with people you can't tell apart. the 50% is generous for something done better hundreds of times before

*laugh* You are too rich, Scouries. No, I haven't read your latest "best selling masterpiece", let alone commented on it. I've already told you, I don't leave PCs unless I can find a lot of good things to say about a story.

I've yet to find anything of yours that qualifies, and have long ago ceased bothering.

Sounds like the commenter has you down, though. Flat characters that have only one emotion - lust, bigotry toward anyone who isn't lilly white, and an inability to keep their slang confined to one continent in their unbelievable dialogue. Thin plots rehashed from B-grade porn flicks in exotic settings to cover up the fact they read like a one night stand in a gas station restroom. Endlessly repeating consenants that could only be uttered by someone freezing to death at the North Pole. More ellipse "pauses" than Shatner after a blow to the head. Spelling and grammar errors that any word processor would catch if you would bother ( Would save you a lot of time asking your "readers" to correct the mountains of mistakes for you as you have with your ridiculously obvious alternate personality "Gabby" in another thread ). Scene changes that are so abrupt and rocky that you couldn't get over them in a Hummer.

Anybody read his latest Pull-Itzer prize winning piece to tell me how close I am without so much as a glance?

I know it's hard to believe that the whole world doesn't worship at your unwashed feet with all of your multiple personalities voting a dozen or so times on everything you post, but I'm not the only one who finds your stories less than stellar - and a few are going to let you know on your public comment board.

We now return you to the thread, already in progress.

 

[Scribbled]

*laugh* You are too rich, Scouries. No, I haven't read your latest "best selling masterpiece", let alone commented on it. I've already told you, I don't leave PCs unless I can find a lot of good things to say about a story.

I've yet to find anything of yours that qualifies, and have long ago ceased bothering.

Sounds like the commenter has you down, though. Flat characters that have only one emotion - lust, bigotry toward anyone who isn't lilly white, and an inability to keep their slang confined to one continent in their unbelievable dialogue. Thin plots rehashed from B-grade porn flicks in exotic settings to cover up the fact they read like a one night stand in a gas station restroom. Endlessly repeating consenants that could only be uttered by someone freezing to death at the North Pole. More ellipse "pauses" than Shatner after a blow to the head. Spelling and grammar errors that any word processor would catch if you would bother ( Would save you a lot of time asking your "readers" to correct the mountains of mistakes for you as you have with your ridiculously obvious alternate personality "Gabby" in another thread ). Scene changes that are so abrupt and rocky that you couldn't get over them in a Hummer.

Anybody read his latest Pull-Itzer prize winning piece to tell me how close I am without so much as a glance?

I know it's hard to believe that the whole world doesn't worship at your unwashed feet with all of your multiple personalities voting a dozen or so times on everything you post, but I'm not the only one who finds your stories less than stellar - and a few are going to let you know on your public comment board.

We now return you to the thread, already in progress.

Yada, yada, yada, Danicat.

 

[SweetWitch]

*laugh* You are too rich, Scouries. No, I haven't read your latest "best selling masterpiece", let alone commented on it. I've already told you, I don't leave PCs unless I can find a lot of good things to say about a story.

I've yet to find anything of yours that qualifies, and have long ago ceased bothering.

Sounds like the commenter has you down, though. Flat characters that have only one emotion - lust, bigotry toward anyone who isn't lilly white, and an inability to keep their slang confined to one continent in their unbelievable dialogue. Thin plots rehashed from B-grade porn flicks in exotic settings to cover up the fact they read like a one night stand in a gas station restroom. Endlessly repeating consenants that could only be uttered by someone freezing to death at the North Pole. More ellipse "pauses" than Shatner after a blow to the head. Spelling and grammar errors that any word processor would catch if you would bother ( Would save you a lot of time asking your "readers" to correct the mountains of mistakes for you as you have with your ridiculously obvious alternate personality "Gabby" in another thread ). Scene changes that are so abrupt and rocky that you couldn't get over them in a Hummer.

Anybody read his latest Pull-Itzer prize winning piece to tell me how close I am without so much as a glance?

I know it's hard to believe that the whole world doesn't worship at your unwashed feet with all of your multiple personalities voting a dozen or so times on everything you post, but I'm not the only one who finds your stories less than stellar - and a few are going to let you know on your public comment board.

We now return you to the thread, already in progress.

Dark,

Good to see you. Hope all is well with you.

Hate to point this out, Dear, but I think you're wasting your time with that one. Your comments, though well thought-out and perfectly true, have most likely gone right over his head. You'll have to dumb it down a bit if you want him and all his many personalities to get it.

In keeping with the spirit of this thread:

Garbage
07/30/07 By: Anonymous in USA
Rednecks and whores, what a load of crap, all your characters need to be removed from the planet.

Talk about bigotry...

 

[Darkniciad]

Dark,

Good to see you. Hope all is well with you.

Hate to point this out, Dear, but I think you're wasting your time with that one. Your comments, though well thought-out and perfectly true, have most likely gone right over his head. You'll have to dumb it down a bit if you want him and all his many personalities to get it.

Oh, I know

To continue the trend of getting back on topic after my little threadjack ( although it was bad feedback that tried to be good through a touch of amusement in a way )

On "It Cuts Both Ways"

Chris the wimp
05/19/07 By: Anonymous
Only wimos have ED, which is a NorthEastern liberal disease spread by so-called conservative talk show hosts. Anyone contracting ED should eat raw meat and watch John Wayne WAR movies (not that pinko cowboy shit) and then beat up some faries. Then if he could still not get it up, he should have beaten his wife up!! Yeah!

The weirdest thing is that it was attached to a 5 vote. Wasn't just the thermometer either, because the story had been idle for at least a month and the score increased when this comment appeared.

 

[SweetWitch]

The weirdest thing is that it was attached to a 5 vote. Wasn't just the thermometer either, because the story had been idle for at least a month and the score increased when this comment appeared.

I think I once dated that guy. And he had ED.

 

[sr71plt]

The weirdest thing is that it was attached to a 5 vote. Wasn't just the thermometer either, because the story had been idle for at least a month and the score increased when this comment appeared.

I've had a similar last laugh twice too. The stories had been dead in the water with just nine votes for weeks, and a zapping 1 vote registered them hot. The best of last laughs, I think.

 

[MzDeviancy]

*laugh* You are too rich, Scouries. No, I haven't read your latest "best selling masterpiece", let alone commented on it. I've already told you, I don't leave PCs unless I can find a lot of good things to say about a story.

I've yet to find anything of yours that qualifies, and have long ago ceased bothering.

Sounds like the commenter has you down, though. Flat characters that have only one emotion - lust, bigotry toward anyone who isn't lilly white, and an inability to keep their slang confined to one continent in their unbelievable dialogue. Thin plots rehashed from B-grade porn flicks in exotic settings to cover up the fact they read like a one night stand in a gas station restroom. Endlessly repeating consenants that could only be uttered by someone freezing to death at the North Pole. More ellipse "pauses" than Shatner after a blow to the head. Spelling and grammar errors that any word processor would catch if you would bother ( Would save you a lot of time asking your "readers" to correct the mountains of mistakes for you as you have with your ridiculously obvious alternate personality "Gabby" in another thread ). Scene changes that are so abrupt and rocky that you couldn't get over them in a Hummer.

Anybody read his latest Pull-Itzer prize winning piece to tell me how close I am without so much as a glance?

I know it's hard to believe that the whole world doesn't worship at your unwashed feet with all of your multiple personalities voting a dozen or so times on everything you post, but I'm not the only one who finds your stories less than stellar - and a few are going to let you know on your public comment board.

We now return you to the thread, already in progress.

I think the thread is over since this is clearly the best worst feedback anyone could ever get. Not much to say except: BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MarshAlien]

Certainly the style reminds me of the swamp and the the spelling and grammar of danicat's world

real dolls
09/15/07 by Anonymous in USA
that's how real the characters have in this story. this may as well be about love dolls fucking, it owuld read the same. switch the names and you couldn't tell the difference between mom and sis in the endless bump and grind. this is nothing but a long fuck scene with people you can't tell apart. the 50% is generous for something done better hundreds of times before

Sorry - wasn't me, either. My laptop has one of those "shift" keys, and I'm actually getting pretty adept at it. My last story was considered a "masterpiece of capitalization." Okay, I made that up.

I have to say, this was certainly a better entry than your last one, in that this was actually "bad" public feedback, unlike the glowing reviews you tried to foist off on us before. I can't believe it's the worst you've gotten, though.
Better luck next time!

 

[Recidiva]

Sorry - wasn't me, either. My laptop has one of those "shift" keys, and I'm actually getting pretty adept at it. My last story was considered a "masterpiece of capitalization." Okay, I made that up.

I have to say, this was certainly a better entry than your last one, in that this was actually "bad" public feedback, unlike the glowing reviews you tried to foist off on us before. I can't believe it's the worst you've gotten, though.
Better luck next time!

Make that "Masterpiece Of Capitalization"

Add some exclamation points. Because that always makes it truerer.

 

[MarshAlien]

Make that "Masterpiece Of Capitalization"

Add some exclamation points. Because that always makes it truerer.

Thanks, diva! I'll have to remember that for my sig. Marsh Alien's fill in name of most recent story: "A Masterpiece of Capitalization!!!"

As soon as I'm finished publicizing my collaboration with tickledkitty, I'll use that. Or maybe if you go read the story, and send me a PM that says it, I can put it in with your name at the end, as if you were a famous and celebrated critic.

 

[SweetWitch]

Sorry - wasn't me, either. My laptop has one of those "shift" keys, and I'm actually getting pretty adept at it. My last story was considered a "masterpiece of capitalization." Okay, I made that up.

I have to say, this was certainly a better entry than your last one, in that this was actually "bad" public feedback, unlike the glowing reviews you tried to foist off on us before. I can't believe it's the worst you've gotten, though.
Better luck next time!

Well, don't look at me. I don't read the person's "work".

 

[Recidiva]

Thanks, diva! I'll have to remember that for my sig. Marsh Alien's fill in name of most recent story: "A Masterpiece of Capitalization!!!"

As soon as I'm finished publicizing my collaboration with tickledkitty, I'll use that. Or maybe if you go read the story, and send me a PM that says it, I can put it in with your name at the end, as if you were a famous and celebrated critic.

Awesome!!!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Hmmm. Should I be proud or otherwise of the comment "a moving epic of appropriate font choice"?

 

[Recidiva]

Hmmm. Should I be proud or otherwise of the comment "a moving epic of appropriate font choice"?

Yes. I love it.

Mascot worthy.

 

[MarshAlien]

Hmmm. Should I be proud or otherwise of the comment "a moving epic of appropriate font choice"?

That's yours!?! God, I am soooooo jealous.

Most of the time, mine's on the order of "he managed to get most of the quotation marks in the right place."

 

[Guest]

Certainly the style reminds me of the swamp and the the spelling and grammar of danicat's world

real dolls
09/15/07 by Anonymous in USA
that's how real the characters have in this story. this may as well be about love dolls fucking, it owuld read the same. switch the names and you couldn't tell the difference between mom and sis in the endless bump and grind. this is nothing but a long fuck scene with people you can't tell apart. the 50% is generous for something done better hundreds of times before

Did he say I live in a swamp? I find his comments as hard to read as his actual work is...sigh...

It couldn't have been me, I can never find that little percentage thingie on my keyboard.

I had a fan once tell me that I managed to spell everything right in one story.

 

[scouries]

worst comment i've ever recieved? Nahhhh....

Miss DEVIANT – re your: I think the thread is over since this is clearly the best worst feedback anyone could ever get. Not much to say except: BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t worry love I’ve got much worse comments than this.

DARKBOY’S COMMENT:

No, I haven't read your latest "best selling masterpiece" LIAR, let alone commented on it…. I've yet to find anything of yours that qualifies, and have long ago ceased botheringSURE YOU HAVE.

…Sounds like the commenter has you down, though. Flat characters that have only one emotion - lust, bigotry toward anyone who isn't lilly white, and an inability to keep their slang confined to one continent in their unbelievable dialogue.

…Thin plots rehashed from B-grade porn flicks in exotic settings to cover up the fact they read like a one night stand in a gas station restroom.

…Endlessly repeating consenants that could only be uttered by someone freezing to death at the North Pole.

…More ellipse "pauses" than Shatner after a blow to the head. Spelling and grammar errors that any word processor would catch if you would bother ( Would save you a lot of time asking your "readers" to correct the mountains of mistakes for you as you have with your ridiculously obvious alternate personality "Gabby" in another thread ).

…Scene changes that are so abrupt and rocky that you couldn't get over them in a Hummer.

…Anybody read his latest Pull-Itzer prize winning piece to tell me how close I am without so much as a glance?ADMIT IT, THIS WAS THE MARSH MANS LINE WASN’T IT?

…I know it's hard to believe that the whole world doesn't worship at your unwashed feet with all of your multiple personalities voting a dozen or so times on everything you post,

But there were some quite interesting aspects to darkboys post.

First, this post displays just how a writer can improve if he spends a little time studying the masters. Go and read chapter 1 or 2 of danikat’s world by darkboy and then read this. A remarkable improvement! Of course HE still has a long way to go…

Second, it highlights some bizarre sexual practices that the darkboy seems to be quite familiar with. I asked around the office this morning and not one of the near twenty people I surveyed had been involved in “a one night stand in a gas station restroom”. I don’t think this is a practice we often see in South Florida (or most other places for that matter).

The closest I could get is when the ScouriesFilm costume director, Francisco, admitted he’d once got a blow job in a gas station restroom in the middle of the day when he was on his way through Indiana. I didn’t dare ask him for a description of the other party.

Thirdly, we at ScouriesFilm, even Francisco, were gravely insulted by your line: plots rehashed from B-grade porn flicks in exotic settings. In fact all our films are based on the ever popular, original and brilliantly conceived stories that appear only in ScouriesWorld.

So, in conclusion, you are improving darkboy. if you continue to study and copy the master you have a bright future. I would suggest though that you drop these continual references to Shatner (he’s yesterday’s man to today’s more modern reader) and that you spend fewer nights on washroom floors.

jim

p.s. gosh miss d, you used to love to receive my comments…don't you remember how they made you quiver in delight? ...ah, those were the days…

 

[MarshAlien]

Did he say I live in a swamp? I find his comments as hard to read as his actual work is...sigh...

It couldn't have been me, I can never find that little percentage thingie on my keyboard.

I had a fan once tell me that I managed to spell everything right in one story.

Actually, I think he meant me. I'm the "marshfrog" in the post's title. Cute, huh? But enough about him. Who has some really more good bad feedback they can show us?

 

[BlackShanglan]

That's yours!?! God, I am soooooo jealous.

Most of the time, mine's on the order of "he managed to get most of the quotation marks in the right place."

Sorry, no. I made it up, in response to the brilliant inspiration of "a masterpiece of capitalization."

Honestly, I think that those sorts of wickedly cruel pseudo-compliments are the best and most amusing critiques possible. I've always loved the old standby of "nice margins."