Litiquette IV

[Suz_anne]

As you wander around Lit posting in threads, flirting in PM, playing via your preferred communication medium, has the marital status of your "friend" ever seriously impacted your Lit or online experience? Should it?

Yes.

 

[Paul_Chance]

As you wander around Lit posting in threads, flirting in PM, playing via your preferred communication medium, has the marital status of your "friend" ever seriously impacted your Lit or online experience? Should it?

No.

Obviously, whether it "should" depends upon the individual. For me, it doesn't, and I don't buy that it should.

Everyone is a free actor when it comes to what they will and won't do online. I've developed great friendships with people who are in committed relationships and so may flirt (sometimes outrageously) but won't take it across their own line. More power to them. I've also had very hot cybersex with people who were in a committed relationship with a clear conscience on my part and theirs.

I have my own personal rules I follow and it's mainly about being open and honest about relationships with someone you're in a relationship with. I'm not monogamous. I don't even pretend to be. I play online and in person, whether its an open relationship that spans years or a one night stand. Sit down and define the edges of the relationship - and if you're not satisfied where the lines are drawn then walk away. It's the best for both of you.

PSA:
IRL my simple rule is always practice safe sex, with all our partners, unless we decide to be physically sexually exclusive and get current tests for STI's and STD's. Own your own sexuality and be safe and considerate.

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

As you wander around Lit posting in threads, flirting in PM, playing via your preferred communication medium, has the marital status of your "friend" ever seriously impacted your Lit or online experience? Should it?

Depends really on where you ultimately want to take it, I suppose.

 

[LallyH]

Depends really on where you ultimately want to take it, I suppose.

I agree. To me, casual flirting and conversation is no different here than it would be in a bar, so if someone is married or in an otherwise committed relationship, it doesn't stop me from talking to them. If, however, they wanted more than I am comfortable with in view of my own relationship, I would decline and expect them to look elsewhere. Everyone is free to make their own choices - if those choices are different to mine, it's really none of my business.

Going off at a tangent...how do we ever really know that the other person is being truthful about their own status?

 

[LWulf]

....

Going off at a tangent...how do we ever really know that the other person is being truthful about their own status?

I could answer that, but we'd have to go into "the lies you've told" thread to explain it better.

 

[Schwarzschild]

I agree. To me, casual flirting and conversation is no different here than it would be in a bar, so if someone is married or in an otherwise committed relationship, it doesn't stop me from talking to them. If, however, they wanted more than I am comfortable with in view of my own relationship, I would decline and expect them to look elsewhere. Everyone is free to make their own choices - if those choices are different to mine, it's really none of my business.

Going off at a tangent...how do we ever really know that the other person is being truthful about their own status?

People don't lie on the internet!

 

[Trekka]

Who am I to judge someone else's behavior? That's their gig, not mine. I have my own personal rules and boundaries, and as long as I remain true to those, that's all that matters to me.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

People don't lie on the internet!

Everything ever written on the internet is the gods honest truth.

 

[ChainedUp]

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

 

[LWulf]

Everything ever written on the internet is the gods honest truth.

Uh, bone djawer!

 

[LWulf]

• What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you?
• If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell?
• What would you leave Lit over?
• Do you intervene?

I care about bullying by crowds (it's almost like the old Tony Atlas cartoons/advertisements, I built myself up by the time I got to be 18 so I wouldn't be bullied anymore), things that are illegal (Even before Obama enacted it, my stepfather (a lawyer) drilled it into me that anything I ever said is something I could be held accountable for, so I'm very touchy about what is what is said or how it's said), There may be other things but they aren't coming to mind right now.

Meh... You'd have to pick through the BS lame-assed jokes and quips to see, but yeah, you could probably tell.

I've already left Lit over a minor that was here, once. I really don't like adult/minor activities in any way shape or form. It kinda goes back to what my stepfather drilled into me. Nothing else is coming to mind of what I might leave over. I don't like bullshit, I don't like drama, but I doubt that would make me leave. I'm here because of the creativity. I easily get bored of redundancy and anything that lacks imagination or creativity, which would make me look for greener post-ures, but it wouldn't make me leave.

Any time I intervene, I speak my piece, and leave it at that. I don't step in on something that is one on one. I leave each person to speak on their own behalf. Traditionally, I try to avoid being baited into ongoing discussions, but sometimes my bravado gets the better of me, and since I'm a New Yorker, I can't help a parting quip. Beyond that...

 

[rubydlite]

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

I care about the connections I've made. I care about feeling safe and having fun.
My post history would show I'm an am pic perv and pervert and I like to pretend and think deep sometimes.
I'd leave and have left for a few different reasons. Getting too attached, boredom, feeling overwhelmed.. real life...
I don't intervene...

 

[jezzilee]

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

Very little time so I shall be brief. . I prefer this question to yesterdays, thanks Mr. Up. Fuck donuts, I'd rather have a nice juicy medium rare steak done on the grill. I can't remember the cut of the last one but it was cooked perfectly. I'm getting them from 6th Street market again this weekend but my personal chef will not be here. *I sent sad face here*

I care about the general happiness and encouragement of others here just like I do offline. If you scrolled through my posting history you would find a horny chick that changes hair color and styles like most people change underwear.

Would I leave Lit? Who knows. Right now I don't think I would let anyone run me off and I have no reason offline not to be dipping my toe in the lit pool.

Intervene? Not often. I'm oblivious to most of the drama.

 

[Paul_Chance]

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

I like the people I have met and connected with and I care about them. Not much on Lit matters to me, as I tend to take it very lightly. My post history would shock everyone! LOL - not really, I joke with people, I comment on AmPics, every now and then I zoom through the GB, I like the various question type threads.

Boredom. If Lit ever started to bore me then I would slip off to somewhere else is the get wide internet.

I almost never intervene except to occasionally drop words of encouragement in a thread. This may sound kind of harsh but, in my experience on the internet, it always takes two to tango. Yeah, there is some bullying, but on the internet if you can't ignore the idiots in your mind, you do have an ignore button.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The important things to me are the people I've met here. There are some really amazing people here and I've made some close friendships. There are a few people here for whom I truly care. Some of you are great. I don't know that my posting would show that.

As to yesterday's marriage question... Yes. Sometimes my or another person's marital status may be a hinderance. Different people have different limits and boundaries.

 

[Schwarzschild]

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

I care about having fun, in life and on here. I would think my history would show that, but I can't attest to how you hooligans and deviants would interpret what I type. I would leave Lit over drama, I avoid it IRL and don't come here for it. I've not really seen any yet, but if the drama ever over took the fun I'd pop smoke. Also, in case of a Zombie apocalypse or Red Dawn type scenario I'd leave to go be a bad ass again. I haven't yet had the occasion to intervene and am not sure I would, it is rarely helpful and often makes things worse. That being said, if someone is being a total ass-hat all on their own, in public, I have been known to poke them with a pointy stick to see what happens.

 

[LWulf]

...Beyond that...

Beyond that, apparently everyone took the questions as "what do you care about that keeps you here," While I was looking it as "what do you care about that bothers you and would make you leave..."

 

[TheSilverLining]

As you wander around Lit posting in threads, flirting in PM, playing via your preferred communication medium, has the marital status of your "friend" ever seriously impacted your Lit or online experience? Should it?

I don't like to share my toys. Therefore, I'd never knowingly play in a situation where a partner were already otherwise attached. It's not worth it IMO

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

Fairly sure it was National Fish & Chip Shop Day in the UK (or something along those lines).

I care about the people here. The people matter. Surely my comments re:stalking earlier this week confirmed that? If you scrolled through my post history you'd certainly be able to tell. It's universally acknowledged that verbal abuse is an indicator of one's affection for others.
I take time away from this place when it's not fun. For me, Lit is escapism. When it becomes counter-productive to this, there's no point. <shrug>

 

[Trekka]

It's Fabulous Friday! National donut day for those that care.

What do you care about on Lit? What matters to you? If we were to scroll through your post history would we be able to tell? What would you leave Lit over? Do you intervene?

So many questions, so much time...

I think my post history clearly indicates that I care about the Grateful Dead, coffee, glitter, cupcakes, breath play, and the whereabouts of IHC at any given moment.

I leave Lit when I get too busy or stressed to be a decent cocktease.

I intervene if the ratio of comedic value to character assassination is favorable.

 

[NeonSubtlety]

I think people would see that literotica is an outlet for me, more than anything else. It helps me think in a way I don't normally...and it gives me a prompt to write when pretty much nothing else does. I also like connecting with people here on the subject of music.

For better or worse, I've kind of separated myself from connecting with people on lit on a personal level. It's bittersweet. But, it's for the best. And, lately, it doesn't feel like it takes much effort -- people have really stopped approaching.

In the end, I'm thankful to have this place as a means for expression, even though everyone else seems to be using it for more meaningful purposes. It is what I've allowed it to be.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Since Papa Chained is off doing god knows what... OR WHO... I am going to ask a question.

Today's topic is persistence. What are your thoughts? When someone is persistent towards you... Do you like it? Is it annoying? At what point is it annoying? Or are you flattered by a bit of persistence?

How about you? Are you persistent? Or do you have a "let the bitches/dicks come to me" approach? Why do you choose your approach? Does it vary?

Inquiring minds...

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'm flattered by persistence and it often intrigues me when it's directed towards me. There is a line there though where in becomes irritating/stalking - especially when I am not interested in them.

I can be persistent, but only up to the point where I feel that my intentions have been clearly expressed and understood. Sometimes you have to be persistent to get through the general fog of modern life. However, once I feel I've gotten through, or I've been clearly told the attention isn't persistent, I will let it go.

Professionally though I can be persistent to the point of relentless - that's a different environment and there, sometimes, you have to pursue clients or people fiercely and break through the resistance to achieve your desired goal, whatever it happens to be.

 

[ChainedUp]

The ole "which method works best" approach. I think it's a huge "depends" and it really requires an interpersonal skill set to read subtle and not so subtle clues. Some people love to be chased, others love to chase. Some would rather make the first move others are turned off by it.

Repetitive cock pics that are not responded to, I don't think persistence is going to work. Someone who replies consistently, persistentance just might be the ticket. Someone that replies in a more leisurely fashion, probably doesn't like a constant stream.

There's an "I didn't reply to your PM because" thread out there, perhaps perusal through that might offer tips.

As for me, it's all about the person and the attraction. If it's relatively strong and mutual, persistence and patience would be my approach. There's some pretty cool cats around here, and if you make an legitimate effort it most likely will work out.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Repetitive cock pics that are not responded to, I don't think persistence is going to work.

I see... You are wise, oh ye hoarder of the cock pics.

 

[Trekka]

Someone that replies Ina more leisurely fashion, probably doesn't like a constant stream.

who doesn't like a constant stream?!