Please help!

[curiouswife19]

Alright i need some advice my husband has been pushing for a threesome or even like a couple/couple trade off for about a year now. Sexually, i am pretty much up for anything, however, my husband is the only man i have done any sexual acts with at all. And im the only woman hes had sex with because we met at a young age. I would love to fulfill this fantasy for him, but im apprehensive about it for a few reasons...we live in a tiny little town, im afraid i might get jealous, and i am worried about std.

 

[koalabear]

do it for yourself not him...and yes std's are everywhere...

 

[curiouswife19]

More concerns, yet interested in the idea

I would like to try it, theres just the little things that nag at me. Iam very much a thinker, he the doer. Another concern of mine is self image. I had a baby 4 months ago and ihave since lost 36 lbs but i would like to lose 20 more, and im thinking who else beside my husband could possibly find me attractive?

 

[Annicka]

Speaking as an older woman - and concerned only for you...

You are pretty young and newly married. I would worry that you both haven't had the time or life experience to bring others into your sexual world yet.

Granted, I don't know the circumstance - whether your marriage is truly happy and able to withstand that kind of pressure, especially with your misgivings.

And while it's nice to do things to please the one you love, in this instance you both will be affected by the consequence.

Tread lightly, young one.

 

[Cathleen]

Koala is right about protecting yourselves and to give the idea a lot of thought - together as well as alone.

Spend time with google to learn about the 'mechanics' of finding another couple or single. But even more importantly set up some agreed upon guidelines; what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to playtime. Is this a one time thing? What do each of you expect from the experience? What about the next day, eg. 'buyers remorse'? What impact might this have on your marriage, sense of self, etc., etc.?

There is a ton to consider before opening your marriage to others and to your most intimate relationship. You might want to check out some of the threads here (The Blank Manual on the How To board) for some good info (on tons of things).

Don't jump into anything quickly unless you're prepared to lose what's more important than a 3some, IMHO.

 

[Cathleen]

Speaking as an older woman - and concerned only for you...

You are pretty young and newly married. I would worry that you both haven't had the time or life experience to bring others into your sexual world yet.

Granted, I don't know the circumstance - whether your marriage is truly happy and able to withstand that kind of pressure, especially with your misgivings.

And while it's nice to do things to please the one you love, in this instance you both will be affected by the consequence.

Tread lightly, young one.

So well said.

Welcome to Lit both of you.

 

[koalabear]

on a side note:...the baby is now the number one priority in both your lives, or should be.

 

[whalee]

listen to Annika....she's very wise woman!!

 

[CockLuvnCUTIE]

You have a 16 week old newborn? Most parents of such small children are too tired to satisfy each OTHER... much less find a third, or another couple.

I'm asking myself "why now"? What's going to change if you wait six months, or a year? Not to sound like a cliche, but putting it off for a while might be more titillating than jumping into it now when so much is going on in your lives.

Once you do this, it's done. You can never undo it. If you have questions or doubts, it may be easier to live them than it will be to live with the consequences if you rush into something you're not fully committed to. Understand, I'm not saying it's a bad idea, only that you're not unwise to give this plenty of thought.

 

[jhe1950]

Alright i need some advice my husband has been pushing for a threesome or even like a couple/couple trade off for about a year now. Sexually, i am pretty much up for anything, however, my husband is the only man i have done any sexual acts with at all. And im the only woman hes had sex with because we met at a young age. I would love to fulfill this fantasy for him, but im apprehensive about it for a few reasons...we live in a tiny little town, im afraid i might get jealous, and i am worried about std.

Speaking as an older man, and well acquainted with the lifestyle, I would suggest filing this idea indefinately. You can, as already suggested, find ample information about how to start it and ground rules for how you as a couple wish to participate in it. My advice comes from experience, and oddly I've found from both my own and others that the lifestyle is more successfull with older couples who not only mature as individuals but also as a couple.

The search for a suitable partner(s) alone can be at least a frustrating adventure, but enterring a world where reality overrides fantasy can end up disasatrously. At you age the idea of being together for a long time is purely relative. In reality you haven't been together for much more than a honeymoon.

By all means don't eliminate any discussions about the possibilities, but for now and the forseeable future I'd limit them to just discussions. If, (and this is entirely random), you feel the same way five years down the road, then redouble your research, be prepared for the frustrations leading to your first encounter, follow your rules, and good luck.

 

[curiouswife19]

Thanks guys.

I just want to thank you All very much for your input, as well as confirming my innermost thoughts on this idea. I suppose becausewe are still young he wants this, but i would much rather build and add to our own relationship rather than bring someone else into it, and its special to me also that hes the only man i have ever had any sexual experiences with. Also as oneof you said, i am very wrapped up in my beautiful little girl right now, and dont care too awful much about anything else.

 

[Annicka]

Enjoy your daughter. They are young for only a few moments it seems.