Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[SirConradPeckereye]

Leaving necklaces everywhere.

Had breaking news that 'the points don't matter' which he said at the conclusion of his 'Cleveland Rocks' solo.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Was dressed too formally.

 

[Baseballcoach43]

The jaguar was spotted by a woman who was in the middle of her own worst childhood memories and panicked. The woman managed to capture the jaguar with her smartphone and filmed it. The jaguar moved towards her as she filmed. The ambulance arrived 30 minutes later to no avail. Jaguar 1, panicked woman 0

(Created with predictive text, mostly)

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Cheating during a game.

 

[ABiGuy84]

Stalking Drew.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Stealing birds.

 

[ShaneoD]

Broke into the local library

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Forgot to wear a shirt.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Forgot to wear a shirt.

Had a restraining order placed against them to stay more than 100 yards away from Drew Carey and more than 30 miles from the Cleveland metropolitan area.

 

[Razzyricho]

Breaking news; Man walks into zoo and executes an elephant, last seen casually leaving the zoo, wearing pyjamas

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Flashing.

 

[Taegul]

Stealing cars from the local Jaguar dealership?

 

[Deadbed1968]

Exposing himself at a convent…

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Not smiling.

 

[ABiGuy84]

Riding a Donkey on the Interstate

 

[curious_slut]

Getting stuck while climbing the d of the Hollywood sign

 

[ABiGuy84]

Getting stuck while climbing the d of the Hollywood sign

Who told you?


Offering to blow a cop instead of a ticket, but they where a stickler for the rule of law.

 

[curious_slut]

Who told you?


Offering to blow a cop instead of a ticket, but they where a stickler for the rule of law.

I'd rather pay the ticket lol.

Busted for attempting to steal the crown jewels.

 

[ABiGuy84]

He flashed them at me, what was I supposed to do?

Trying to be like Stripperella.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Too busy collecting birds.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Too busy collecting birds.

Claims Drew Carey's penis can cure cancer.

 

[Anastasia1999]

Claims Drew Carey's penis can cure cancer.

Caused a Forest fire when he threw that big cigar out of the getaway car window.

 

[base10]

Caused a Forest fire when he threw that big cigar out of the getaway car window.

She’s discovered to be a descendant of a Romanov princess

 

[RideFl71]

She’s discovered to be a descendant of a Romanov princess

He was selling knock off ties.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Got lost.