Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because...

[AnhedonicDementic]

All of the pussys are going to sleep beside me

 

[mnbreastluver]

Sorry darling we can’t have sex tonight because I accidentally cut my dick off while chopping cucumbers and now have to go to the ER. I did make you a “Clone A Willy” before all this happened so your on your own. Sorry again.

 

[fathom7]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because . . . .

we are not even in the same state, let alone room. Sheesh. I mean really. What were you expecting -- like we could stimulate one another remotely? Good gracious.

 

[FortybutNice]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because . . . .

I’m saving myself for a bigger and better cum later.

 

[SoulAssasin247]

I am a virgin and pure

 

[Taegul]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because the French maid outfit is at the cleaners and I left my crotchless Spider-man costume at work (hired a new secretary, had to train her...) and I'm just not in the mood for Vanilla tonight.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because on Wednesdays, we wear pink and you're wearing a hideous puke green vest.

 

[Beardpositive77]

Hahah, so many excuses from my ex that I could give here....

"Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight, because I actually have zero sex drive and think all sex is dirty, and only had sex with you before to get you to marry me..."

 

[Jada59]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because there are too many fireworks elsewhere.

 

[Wkd_Macey]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight, because it's National Sex Week, and I already gave at the office.

 

[Beardpositive77]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight, because it's National Sex Week, and I already gave at the office.

lmao!

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I have to fight.

For my right.

To PAAARTAAAY.

 

[Handsonyou]

...I am a selfish bitch.

 

[Isevil1976]

Sorry darling, we can’t have sex tonight because you want it and denying you makes for more intense fun later!

 

[texou]

Because I took care of it already...

 

[KarenB59]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because of that unfortunate firecracker accident.

 

[Wkd_Macey]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight, because I'm saving myself for Mr. Wright... err, I mean, Mr. Rite... No, that should be Mr. Right... Oh - who gives a shit! C'mere

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I'm busy patching up my superhero attire and these carbon fibre shoulder pads are too big. Running to the super, hyper secret hero depot to make a change. Where did I put the receipt now?

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because a rerun of a Modern Family episode I haven't seen yet will be on soon.

 

[hotcpu]

We can't have sex because the only reason we did before was to get pregnant and I'm now done with birthing ...

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I forgot about this thread and I'm reviving it. Someone get me a defibrillator, stat!

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I'm working on getting you a promotion (sexing up your boss). He should be very happy. You might be getting more than a quarter raise this time!

 

[jmarx20102012]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because I am laying in a hotel bed on the other side of the bay, watching football on mute, drinking wine and drowning my thoughts with headphone music.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Sorry darling, we can't have sex tonight because not only you sound like a pterodactyl, you're also a polydactyl. Nope.

 

[Taten]

Sorry darling we can't have sex tonight, because I'm just not feeling it. Really it's not you, it's me.