Why lie about the little stuff?

[MissTaken]

BTW, which of us has wonderful body image? And, if someone compliments us honestly, because they think so, are we not heedless and cruel to denigrate their compliment? But, I digress....this is about honesty!!!!

Guilty as charged.



Oh and with the skirt issue? I have learned never to ask questions for which there is no right answer.

 

[mbb308]

Guilty as charged.



Oh and with the skirt issue? I have learned never to ask questions for which there is no right answer.

Your learned wisdom is becoming impressive.

Somewhere in memory is a story of something my mother put me through on this topic, but, for the life of me, I can't pull it up. The hard drive is getting full.

 

[spankableBelle]

Have you ever had someone tell you they were doing something adn couldn't be on line, only to find they have been posting?

Oh yes, have had this happen many times.

Why lie?

Because it's easier to play the game.

One little lie tells me to be wary.

Understood. Me too.

Add that to suspicions that that someone has had two lit id's and he denies it.

Yep, know where you're comin' from with this one, too.

Why lie?

Because the games are much more fun for them.

Sometimes I think that I am simply too trusting and an easy target. However, there is no reason to lie.

Me, too. Am with you all the way on this one.

When you say you care, are you lying as well?

It's been my experience, that yes, they are lying.


Am I the only one who has been subjected to such misleading behavior?

Ummmm...nope.

~smile~ Miss T...are we on the same wave length, again?

 

[mbb308]

Re: Re: Why lie about the little stuff?

~smile~ Miss T...are we on the same wave length, again?

It would seem that there are several of us in this boat.

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Re: Re: Why lie about the little stuff?

It would seem that there are several of us in this boat.

Nice to be amoung such delightful and charming company, though...

 

[PassionsEcho]

To hide behind a lie so that you don't have to face repercussions for your own acts is cowardice. To hide behind a lie to protect anothers feelings...well that's a hard one. While a lie is lie, can one be considered to be lacking integrity if they only lie to spare anothers sense of self worth? Me? I will choose to lie if the truth may hurt another and I will only do so if the truth can not be told in such a way as to evade imparting hurt.
Two names on Lit? Another hard one. If one is hiding behind a name to be devious and hide their actions from someone that may not be too happy to see them wandering then yes I feel it is wrong. On the other hand, what if one chooses to hide behind a name so as not to hurt someone they had been close to at one time and that closeness no longer exists. I for one would not want to see someone I cared about moving on. In time yes it can be accepted, but at first it can hurt nonetheless. Is it wrong to hide behind another name to spare further hard feelings between two when something is over?

 

[mbb308]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Why lie about the little stuff?

Nice to be amoung such delightful and charming company, though...

I have that feeling also. Let's keep coming back, shall we?

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Why lie about the little stuff?

I have that feeling also. Let's keep coming back, shall we?

this one shall, yes...~smile~

 

[mbb308]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Why lie about the little stuff?

this one shall, yes...~smile~

Likewise, but have to wrap up tonight. Laundry day tomorrow, and helping a friend move. Hot as hell here, too, so these will be warm chores.

 

[spankableBelle]

Likewise, but have to wrap up tonight. Laundry day tomorrow, and helping a friend move. Hot as hell here, too, so these will be warm chores.

Understood...~smile~ shall i prepare some lemonade for you tomorrow?

 

[MissTaken]

Belle?

Guess I like your wavelength!

 

[mbb308]

Re: Re: Why lie about the little stuff?

Understood...~smile~ shall i prepare some lemonade for you tomorrow?

Thank you - a kind gesture. This time of day is reserved for coffee, however, and lots of it!!!

 

[spankableBelle]

(yawns) ~smile~

morning...lemonade later in the day, then mbb

And Miss T...i like yours too...thank you...

 

[MissTaken]

Is it wrong to hide behind another name to spare further hard feelings between two when something is over?

No. I might even consider the same action in an extreme circumstance.

Good question though?

Lying to avoid hurting someone, is it okay?
When is it okay?

Now, mbb, black coffee please?

And PassionsEcho? I do love your avatar!

 

[Jonnyray]

I think sometimes that maybe we are conditioned to lie to spare others feelings (re: do i look fat in this?), and sometimes its a pattern that I see people get caught in. And its stupid little things...

 

[MissTaken]

I think little lies to save feelings were once okay with me.

Perhaps I am growing up when I say that I really need and want honesty.

Tell me I look awful? I will try to do something about it.

Tell me I am a lousy cook? I will order out.

Tell me I give great oral? I will believe you and do it again.



See, the truth will motivate me more than a lie will.



However, perhaps that is just me.

Besides, when someone lies to spare my feelings, I find that insulting as if to say, "Since I don't trust you to handle the truth, I am gonna lie." This isn't high school. At least for me, honesty is what works.

 

[mbb308]

I think little lies to save feelings were once okay with me.

Perhaps I am growing up when I say that I really need and want honesty.

Tell me I look awful? I will try to do something about it.

Tell me I am a lousy cook? I will order out.

Tell me I give great oral? I will believe you and do it again.



See, the truth will motivate me more than a lie will.



However, perhaps that is just me.

Besides, when someone lies to spare my feelings, I find that insulting as if to say, "Since I don't trust you to handle the truth, I am gonna lie." This isn't high school. At least for me, honesty is what works.

Bravo!!! A couple of cranky old men who were willing to tell me the truth several years ago, the truth about my and my lifestyle, probably saved my life and assuredly spared me much needless suffering. They hurt my feelings terribly (I was awfully over-sensitive), but they made me take a deep introspective look at myself, and offered me a way out. I am profoundly indebted to these two, and the equally crotchety cuss who is my mentor now. In hindsight, I wouldn't have had it any other way, but it hurt at the time. The truth was a great motivator, as it turned out.

We aren't ready to hear the truth until we are ready.

Honesty without sensitivity is brutality. If the situation isn't life-or-death, or close to it, some sensitivity is in order. Being too sensitive with the person who's behavior is killing them may aggrevate the problem. It's a judgment call for the person who has to do the telling.

The answer to "Do I look fat in this," and "Am I drugging myself to death," may be the same, and, I submit, require different degrees of sensitivity in the answer, more in the former, and less in the latter.

My opinion - my experience.

Am coffee'd out, but could get up for some lemonade after my house-warming to-do this afternoon....

 

[1sexylady]

I saw this thread and read the whole thing.... I find I don't like liars and I try not to be one... I have been lied to recently and it hurt me... I decided not to get mad at that person because I feel that person has to live with the fact they lied... The only person they are really lieing to is themselves...

I speak on threads like I would speak in r/l...except when I am kidding around in the Sandbox or Brats threads that is for fun...But if I send a hug or kiss or wish someone a happy birthday I mean it from the heart...

If I get a pm from someone I tell them the truth... my age or height or if I am married or not... I speak from the heart...maybe that is why some people find it so easy to lie, there is no heart.

If I don't think that skirt looks good on you I will say...it is not my taste but if you like it fine... I don't look for popularity, and I don't have to be told I am liked or loved or cared for...if I am, they show it with what they say or how they act... I would much rather be respected and have a lot of real friends then to be popular and have false friends...

I spoke about the Sandbox, which Miss Taken started and I kind of took over and I pmed her because I saw the word Troll on the bottom of her sig... I thought, gosh I enjoyed the Sandbox so much I didn't think of whether or not I hijacked it... So I asked her if she minded... That was out of respect for her...

I am not a perfect human being and I make mistakes but I do try to learn from them... So tell me the truth and we can be friends, lie and I will forgive you but never forget that you did....

Oh one other thing I think alot of what is said here was very well done....

 

[Ukin]

I think little lies to save feelings were once okay with me.

Perhaps I am growing up when I say that I really need and want honesty.

Tell me I look awful? I will try to do something about it.

Tell me I am a lousy cook? I will order out.

Tell me I give great oral? I will believe you and do it again.



See, the truth will motivate me more than a lie will.

You look good

I don't care about your cooking..I can cook

I am sure that you give good oral

Lie next to me, not to me

 

[Playtimes fun]

Bravo!!!!

Keep it coming people.... I have been reading thru a number of threads the past week and this is one has the most genuine inspired comments of all. I too was hurt by someone trying to spare my feelings. In the end I still love the person very much but in effort to spare me the trust I had in the persons truthfulness is has been compromised.

Another cup of starbucks..........

Marty

 

[cocksRloved]

This is a good thread. I don't like people who lie at all.

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, cockrloved and welcome to Lit!

AS you can seem anything goes.

From serious discussion to serious play

Enjoy!

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Bravo!!!!

Keep it coming people.... I have been reading thru a number of threads the past week and this is one has the most genuine inspired comments of all. I too was hurt by someone trying to spare my feelings. In the end I still love the person very much but in effort to spare me the trust I had in the persons truthfulness is has been compromised.

Another cup of starbucks..........

Marty

Teasing me with Starbucks, are you?

There once was a thread concerning "Can you love without trust?"

Lies destroy trust.
Can you love in the presence of lies.

Of course, once the love is there, it is always there.

Can you fall in love without trust?
No. Never. Not sincerely.

Just a thought from the top of my head

 

[manofsteel52]

Re: Re: Bravo!!!!

Teasing me with Starbucks, are you?

There once was a thread concerning "Can you love without trust?"

Lies destroy trust.
Can you love in the presence of lies.

Of course, once the love is there, it is always there.

Can you fall in love without trust?
No. Never. Not sincerely.

Just a thought from the top of my head

Here's another variation on this question.
As I stated earlier in this thread, I've been frequenting boards online on and off for over ten years. Seen a lot.
I've watched people form relationships, seemingly instantaneously... madly in love... lifelong friends... soulmates... whatever.
I've also seen many people (and most on here are included to some degree or other) who are just looking for a good time... fun & games... fantasy.

My question is, at what point and to what degree do you owe someone total honesty in this environment??

An environment where nothing is necessarily what it seems, and in most cases, the only way you know someone is from their perspective, and only as much as they are willing to share?

 

[MissTaken]

Very Hard Question

Personal choice.

I would suggest telling the truth or declining to answer.

Players are here, there and everywhere and until you can recognize someone's perspective on their time on the net, be cautious.

If you are a player, it would be great if you did so with soem sense of respect for other's feelings. Explain your intent on the internet and go from there.

It isn't an easy question as we know there are player's who can't or won't say what thier interest is.

Ahhh I think I need to think about this one some more