for fun: Very Real FAQs

[The_Fool]

*Slaps Forehead*

The best question ever from the pubescent male era:

"Do you think she fucks?"

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

*Slaps Forehead*

The best question ever from the pubescent male era:

"Do you think she fucks?"

To which the universal answer was: Her mother did.

RF

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Honey, what does "ERASING HARDDRIVE IN PROGRESS" mean?

and the last thing you ever hear from the infamous Black Box that you find after a plane crash:

"What's this button for?"

 

[gauchecritic]

How much?

You may experience a small amount of 'pressure' (dental for pain)

Are you watching this?

Yes, I've looked everywhere for it.

If I come in there...

There's nothing wrong, honest

Hi, I'm George Foreman

What's my name?

Do you know who I am?

Well it says size 12

I'm afraid we don't have the facilities

What's that for?

You need next door

Not there, there.

Take one, three times a day

Squeeze it harder

I love when you do that

Where did you learn to do that?

Gauche

 

[pixiesjuice]

Are we nearly there yet?

&

why? over and over

 

[Quint]

Did you do what I asked you to?

What the hell were you thinking?

Where do you come UP with this?

What made you do that?

Why can't I be like that?

Why didn't I think of that?

Who cares?

What hole did you crawl out of?

You available?

You need some money?

You have any money?

"My acorn is missing. Did you take my acorn? You owe me a new acorn."

 

[Wills]

All of these pertain to Christmas Tree lights

Did you plug them in?

You just need to connect that, oh what happened?

Where did you put the spares?

Are they supposed to have flames?

Who said they were suitable for outdoors?

Is the fairy supposed to do that?

Didn't it say on the box?

Why have the sreet lights gone off?

How many volts are needed to kill a squirrel?

Where's Wornoutkeyboard and Horny? (or whatever his name was)

Will's (Who's electrical incompetence has brought International recognition)

 

[Guest]

 

[Quasimodem]

Ever see one of these up close?

Are you allergic to penicillin?

Alright, which one of you was driving?

On which level did we park?

Now, are you ready for the bad news?

Who came up with this idea?

Did you read the instructions?

Where did you put the instructions?

Can anybody follow these instructions?

Am I supposed to have these pieces left over?

 

[mtnman2003]

two tries.........

Do you swallow..........

And

What the hell does "whatever" mean?

Mtn

 

[Guest]

Where's Wornoutkeyboard and Horny? (or whatever his name was)

I love this question, Gills. I can't remember his name either but I like Horny, and I really miss Worn.

Perdita

 

[destinie21]

If we're inquring on missing persons I'd like to know

Where the hell is MlledeLaPlumeBleu


My vocabulary is suffering in her absence

 

[Guest]

Dest, Le Bleu is in music school trilling away. I'm presuming we'll see her again at the xmas/semester break. I miss her dearly, she's my hunnypen

Perdita

 

[RenzaJones]

Can you have casual sex in an evening gown?

I wonder if the Mrs. Will notice if I borrow her shoes?

Where's your wallet

Want to go dutch

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Gee, you sound angry - is it that time of the month?

 

[Guest]

What news on the Rialto?

 

[Quasimodem]

Ever hear of knocking?

Where you born in a barn?

How do your feet get so dirty in clean socks?

Who put the milk carton back in the fridge empty?

Why don't you drive closer to the speed limit?

He: (in car) Listen! Do you hear that noise?
She: (in the night) Wake up! Do you hear that noise?

He: (in car) Do you smell gasoline?
She: (in the night) Do you smell smoke?

She: Where's the fire?
He: Where's the remote?

 

[TheEarl]

Oh, you didn't?
Please tell me you didn't?
Why did you do that?

The Earl

 

[Vincent E]

Originally posted by perdita

Paper or plastic?
Paper inside plastic.

Did you want fries with that?
Yes, fries with everything.

What are you going to be when you grow up?
Circus clown.

Where the hell is the remote?
Shoved between the cushions on the sofa.

What is the meaning of this?
Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes, baby.

Do you promise to love, honor and obey?
Nope.

Do you want an attorney present during questioning?
Screw you, copper.

How much?[/]
As much as you can spare.

How much have you got?
Not nearly as much as I thought I had.

Where were you when I needed you?
Over there, near the bar.

Is that your real color?
No, but the doctor told me that it would go back to normal as soon as the infection goes away.

Are you going to eat that?
I've never said no to a free meal.

What am I?
My mother siad that if I can't say anything nice I shouldn't say anything ... bitch.

What am I—chopped liver?
No, I'd say you're more like corned beef.

Is it safe?
As long as you use protection.

Who are you?
The man your mother warned you about.

Who am I?
You're my, ah, wife, yeah that's it. and we have sex six..seven..twelve times a week. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Who do you think you are?
I think I'm the boss. I think I'm the guy who signs the paychecks around here. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. No? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Just who do you think you are, anyway?
Okay, you caught me. I'm the janitor.

Am I my brother's keeper?
That depends on the laws in your vicinity.

You and whose army?
A bunch of the black helicopter mob in the Pacific Northwest, actually.

Who gave you the right?
The Supreme Court, the Founding fathers, and my two best friends: Smith and WEsson.

How're you doing?
I've been better.

How in hell are you going to fix that before they get back?
I'm not. I'm going to blame it on you.

Can you?
Yes.

Will you?
What's in it for me, baby?

Will you, please?
Get on your knees and beg for it like the dirty little slut you are, baby.

You want to put it where?
- No, I'm not going anywhere near this one.