Has the "Bear vs. Man" conundrum made you reconsider your writings?

[nice90sguy]

Until it was too late.

Disappointed in your lack of bear puns, a whole vein of wildlife-related puns has been opened up here

 

[enbiji]

Disappointed in your lack of bear puns

It's a grisly subject.

 

[nice90sguy]

Phew... I was worried that the AH was starting to get to you

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

Their point was that the man-vs-bear question wasn't really meant to be literal, that it was designed to help others - men in particular - understand why (some? many? all?) women feel nervous in the presence of men.

Agreed here, on what people should take away from the report.

There are women in my world who unfortunately feel this way. It affects everyday decisions for them, both professional and personal. So it’s not a fringe or hypothetical use case.

As for whether it should influence erotic storytelling? It already does. We just don’t acknowledge it.

 

[MillieDynamite]

What's your favorite kind of bear? Black, Brown, Polar, Grizzly, Grizzly-Polar hybrid, Kodiak, Andean, Panda, Sun, Sloth, Teddy, or Chicago?

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

What's your favorite kind of bear? Black, Brown, Polar, Grizzly, Grizzly-Polar hybrid, Kodiak, Andean, Panda, Sun, Sloth, Teddy, or Chicago?

you forgot Koala, my personal fav.

I’d gladly face one down in the woods.

 

[nice90sguy]

Just don't try to steal their eucalyptus leaves

But they're not bears, like all the other native ozzie animals, they're marsupials

 

[MillieDynamite]

There were dozens I didn't include. Yeah, Koala be cuties.

you forgot Koala, my personal fav.

I’d gladly face one down in the woods.

 

[AchtungNight]

Without reading anywhere near the whole of this thread it has made me appreciate two things

1) too many idiots take metaphors literally

2) the majority of men are ignorant ****s when it comes to understanding and comprehending the genuine fears women have just living, working and socialising amongst men on a daily basis.

Women can be the same way towards men. And yet we can’t separate them if we want to keep enjoying the benefits of their interaction. :sigh:

Favorite bear- mama bear as my ally when I’m in trouble. I don’t like being on the receiving end of such trouble of course.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You talking about again, @AchtungNight behind my back right in front of my face?

Women can be the same way towards men. And yet we can’t separate them if we want to keep enjoying the benefits of their interaction. :sigh:

Favorite bear- mama bear as my ally when I’m in trouble. I don’t like being on the receiving end of such trouble of course.

 

[AchtungNight]

You talking about again, @AchtungNight behind my back right in front of my face?

What can I say? I’m in need of positive attention. Hope your laughter is that.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

Well, this thread went the usual AH direction-- completely off the rails! Circling back to @BobbyBrandt 's original post, I'm curious what the question is, for purposes of stories. Is the question whether, when writing stories, the fear that many women have of encountering a strange man is something that should be taken into account? That appears to be what the OP is getting at. Once again, as we always seem to do, we deviate into discussions about what things are like "in the real world" and whether someone else's view of that is reasonable. But I think the original question was whether the fear women have of strange men is something that should be factored into stories.

I think the answer, as it always is, is that it depends on the story. What are the circumstances? What's the situation? What is the female character like?

Many of my stories involve people pushing boundaries and taking risks, such as engaging in public nudity. That's the kind of thing that raises OP's issue, because it involves women making themselves vulnerable. Being mindful of common fears is a way of lending verisimilitude to a story, as well as erotic tension. On the other hand, if there's too much fear, it might spoil the fun of the story. I'm working on a story where a woman is naked in front of men who are clothed, and it's an issue. If I dodged the OP's issue entirely, then I think the story wouldn't be as realistic and I would get some eye rolls. I'll probably get eye rolls anyway. But my purpose in writing an erotic story is not to minimize eye rolls. I write knowing that people have wildly different ideas about what's plausible.

There's no right answer. It depends on the story.

Yes, you are correct in that my objective was for authors to consider how the general fear of the male gender implied by this "study" could impact their inspiration for a story or the character dynamics, conflict/resolution, or story arc. Naturally, it would be story and subject dependent.

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

Just don't try to steal their eucalyptus leaves

But they're not bears, like all the other native ozzie animals, they're marsupials

I can see why they elected to identify as bears. Being a Koala Marsupial doesn't have the same ring to it.

 

[lustychimera]

What's your favorite kind of bear? Black, Brown, Polar, Grizzly, Grizzly-Polar hybrid, Kodiak, Andean, Panda, Sun, Sloth, Teddy, or Chicago?

 

[SimonDoom]

Yes, you are correct in that my objective was for authors to consider how the general fear of the male gender implied by this "study" could impact their inspiration for a story or the character dynamics, conflict/resolution, or story arc. Naturally, it would be story and subject dependent.

You got the usual thread derailment treatment. I'm somewhat guilty in that regard, so sorry about that. I didn't think it would go sideways quite as much as it has. It's an interesting issue and perfectly appropriate for discussion in this forum, but as usual we're talking about bears instead of people or stories.

What's YOUR answer to the question that you raised?

 

[KeithD]

What's your favorite kind of bear? Black, Brown, Polar, Grizzly, Grizzly-Polar hybrid, Kodiak, Andean, Panda, Sun, Sloth, Teddy, or Chicago?

Smokey the

 

[AchtungNight]

Were-bears are cool too. Any bear is cool if they act good, I guess.

 

[KatieDoes]

All I have is glib advice and the fact that I am a friendly helpful stranger with a smile. If you are not inclined to trust me based on that, I am glad to stop helping you. I will get back in my car and drive off, let you take your chances with another hopefully friendly man or bear as you prefer. I am part of the solution, not the problem. You can either accept me as an ally or not. I can't make the decision for you.

If your trust in others is so fragile your default response is to accuse them of being a bad guy and mock their choice of favored fictional characters among other things... maybe you're not part of the solution either. Might want to muse on that.

This question has nothing to do with a woman needing help. At no point in this question was the situation posed as a woman (or man) needing help in the woods and having to choose between seeking help from a random man or from a bear.

The question was:

If you are hiking alone in the woods, which would you rather see? A bear? Or a strange man?

It’s a weird projection you’re putting on this wherein the woman is desperate for help and needs a man to rescue her and fill her tank, so to speak. Even though your stellar man hero wouldn’t require repayment by access to her body, you certainly allude to it being the next logical step.

Women can just hike. We have boots and everything. A woman existing in the woods is not a woman who needs a man to rescue her from hiking.

 

[AchtungNight]

Not necessarily, yeah. But if she does need help, I am the kind of man who will be there for her. I guess I need to be seen as such a knight.

It's also a weird projection when you cast a strange man to be an abusive asshole no matter what. We can agree nobody needs such people, I hope.

 

[KatieDoes]

Bears can really mess you up. Here's an entire Youtube channel dedicated to bear attacks for anyone that needs nightmare fuel, and it has quite many stories of accidental encounters.

I watched Grizzly Man during the lockdowns and Tim Treadwell's story is something I cannot get out of my head. The horror he and his girlfriend endured is the stuff of nightmares. I'd much rather take my chances with a stranger in the woods, than a 500lb animal that can eat someone alive.

Now Google Junko Furata

 

[KatieDoes]

Not necessarily, yeah. But if she does need help, I am the kind of man who will be there for her. I guess I need to be seen as such a knight.

It's also a weird projection when you cast a strange man to be an abusive asshole no matter what. We can agree nobody needs such people, I hope.

No one is casting anyone as an abusive asshole

Women are endangered by men. The top cause of death of women under 45 is men. I’m sorry not sorry if the reality that women must be cautious of men makes your feelings hurt. I somehow find myself more concerned with actual physical danger that women face daily than I am with making men feel more comfortable about it.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

It's also a weird projection when you cast a strange man to be an abusive asshole no matter what. We can agree nobody needs such people, I hope.

No one in this thread has done that. Not one of us. That is all you.

 

[EmilyMiller]

@AchtungNight - in my limited dealings with you, I think you are most likely a good guy. But someone who wants to be a knight needs to know when the fight is not about him, his honor has not been questioned, and he needs to - frankly - back off.

The more you make this thread about you, the more common cause you have with the out and out misogynists and trolls on it, which just tarnishes your knightly image.

I wouldn’t bother to post here if it wasn’t important. You are better than this.

Emily

 

[AchtungNight]

@AchtungNight - in my limited dealings with you, I think you are most likely a good guy. But someone who wants to be a knight needs to know when the fight is not about him, his honor has not been questioned, and he needs to - frankly - back off.

The more you make this thread about you, the more common cause you have with the out and out misogynists and trolls on it, which just tarnishes your knightly image.

I wouldn’t bother to post here if it wasn’t important. You are better than this.

Emily

Thx. That’s all I needed to hear.

 

[lovecraft68]

@AchtungNight - in my limited dealings with you, I think you are most likely a good guy. But someone who wants to be a knight needs to know when the fight is not about him, his honor has not been questioned, and he needs to - frankly - back off.

The more you make this thread about you, the more common cause you have with the out and out misogynists and trolls on it, which just tarnishes your knightly image.

I wouldn’t bother to post here if it wasn’t important. You are better than this.

Emily

I don't think I can find a word to describe the irony of YOU telling someone they're trying to make a thread about them.

You don't control the forum, and I think last week you learned that people are catching on to your bad behavior.

And stop talking about misogyny. It's real, it exists, its exists here, but when someone who has helped perpetuate it calls it out, it falls flat. When you call it out to act like a victim, and therefore get the thread to be about you, it also takes the meaning out of it.