Projection v/s Reality

[nh23]

Cathartic, isn't it?

yep..

 

[stickwork]

yep..

In fact, your av captures the feeling.

 

[RJMasters]

I'm done.

Are you sure? Or are you just retreating until your next opportunity.

My bet is the latter.

Typical bully behavior. You get confronted with a 1 ton truck of reality check and truth dropped on you and suddenly its a circular argument and so...you're done?

Well I'm not done.

In fact I think there are quite a few people here who are not done. They are sick and tired of the constant BS of you and Bunny playing tag team bitches every chance you get.

I can't blame you for the choice of others to leave, but I can say that without a doubt your's and Bunny's behavior of late is the "reason" why people are making that choice.

If you honestly feel like your only recourse around here is to act like a bitch, then why not go and find a place where you don't have to be one? If your answer to that is because you think you have a right to be here and will do whatever you want, let me remind you that isn't exactly true. Regardless of your own personal opinion of Cat and whether you see her as a hypocrate or worse is entirely besides the point that she is still the moderator of this forum and is charged with the responsibility of the over-all welfare of the board and its members. When people in the double digits are PMing her and telling her they are so unhappy/angry with this "I am a bitch, deal with it attitude" as the source, it is no longer a personal matter between you and Cat or Bunny and Cat......do you get that? It becomes a forum problem.

People have tried to talk to you. Have asked you. Have confronted you. Pleaded with both of you. Tried reasonsing with you and have appealed to your sense of human decency to stop the fucking buillshit but you don't listen, and your answer is you don't care. What's left?

Catalina's rant was right on target. There's just no excuse for it.

 

[Rosie_Riveter]

..........

 

[minx1]

Are you sure? Or are you just retreating until your next opportunity.

My bet is the latter.

Typical bully behavior. You get confronted with a 1 ton truck of reality check and truth dropped on you and suddenly its a circular argument and so...you're done?

Well I'm not done.

In fact I think there are quite a few people here who are not done. They are sick and tired of the constant BS of you and Bunny playing tag team bitches every chance you get.

I can't blame you for the choice of others to leave, but I can say that without a doubt your's and Bunny's behavior of late is the "reason" why people are making that choice.

If you honestly feel like your only recourse around here is to act like a bitch, then why not go and find a place where you don't have to be one? If your answer to that is because you think you have a right to be here and will do whatever you want, let me remind you that isn't exactly true. Regardless of your own personal opinion of Cat and whether you see her as a hypocrate or worse is entirely besides the point that she is still the moderator of this forum and is charged with the responsibility of the over-all welfare of the board and its members. When people in the double digits are PMing her and telling her they are so unhappy/angry with this "I am a bitch, deal with it attitude" as the source, it is no longer a personal matter between you and Cat or Bunny and Cat......do you get that? It becomes a forum problem.

People have tried to talk to you. Have asked you. Have confronted you. Pleaded with both of you. Tried reasonsing with you and have appealed to your sense of human decency to stop the fucking buillshit but you don't listen, and your answer is you don't care. What's left?

Catalina's rant was right on target. There's just no excuse for it.

Completely spot on in every way RJ.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Wow.

I had no idea all this was happening on the forum. I tend to just flit about and post here and there without joining up the dots like this. I also don't hang out in the cafe much so people's personal friendships and alliances often pass me by.

It's a shame to see so much bad feeling here. I had no idea Cat was receiving complaints or that there was such friction going on.

 

[nh23]

Are you sure? Or are you just retreating until your next opportunity.

My bet is the latter.

Typical bully behavior. You get confronted with a 1 ton truck of reality check and truth dropped on you and suddenly its a circular argument and so...you're done?

Well I'm not done.

In fact I think there are quite a few people here who are not done. They are sick and tired of the constant BS of you and Bunny playing tag team bitches every chance you get.

I can't blame you for the choice of others to leave, but I can say that without a doubt your's and Bunny's behavior of late is the "reason" why people are making that choice.
No
If you honestly feel like your only recourse around here is to act like a bitch, then why not go and find a place where you don't have to be one? If your answer to that is because you think you have a right to be here and will do whatever you want, let me remind you that isn't exactly true. Regardless of your own personal opinion of Cat and whether you see her as a hypocrate or worse is entirely besides the point that she is still the moderator of this forum and is charged with the responsibility of the over-all welfare of the board and its members. When people in the double digits are PMing her and telling her they are so unhappy/angry with this "I am a bitch, deal with it attitude" as the source, it is no longer a personal matter between you and Cat or Bunny and Cat......do you get that? It becomes a forum problem.

People have tried to talk to you. Have asked you. Have confronted you. Pleaded with both of you. Tried reasonsing with you and have appealed to your sense of human decency to stop the fucking buillshit but you don't listen, and your answer is you don't care. What's left?

Catalina's rant was right on target. There's just no excuse for it.

No one has begged or pleaded with me to do shit. No one has even said anything to me. I can't speak for Bunny. Here's the thing, if you want someone to sit around and blow sunshine up you're ass..it's not going to be me. I speak my mind. Is the truth not better especially in some of the situations we deal with in this lifestyle? I talk to quite a few people privately from Lit and not one of them have told me that my behavior is unacceptable. Honestly most of them have told me that they agree with a lot of the things that Bunny and I post. If they don't say that publicly then I can't help that. The things I said to Cat needed to be said. I disagree with you there. They are opinions not only held by myself, but others I have talked to. I was just sick of it and finally stated my opinion. You don't have to like it anymore than I like yours.

 

[A Desert Rose]

You can line up all your "my friends don't like Catalina or ADR or whoever". It doesn't mean a thing.

This isn't about liking or not liking Catalina, or how many people here support or don't support you and your friends. That's not the point RJ or Catalina or anyone else has been trying to make.

I can't believe some of you can't see that.

This whole thing is very sad. Life is so short and to be this bitter and mean at such a young age, really does sadden me. I'm sorry for the way things seem to be falling apart in this forum.

 

[intothewoods]

Wow, I knew there was some tension, but I didn't realize it was this much!

I'll tell you this much for free - I'd prefer some of this just get aired out, because the indirect digs around this forum seem to fan the flames and not help things. I look at those posts and think, wait - does it mean this? Does it mean that? Me? Her? Who? And then I just shrug my shoulders and move on, slightly annoyed. If it's personal, PM the person. If it involves the forum, let's hash it out.

I'm surprised to learn cat's PM box is full. I really am. I'm used to intraforum fighting, and while I find it lame, I usually ignore it.

I like Bunny, nh and cat. I've seen people attack each of them in a rather mean-spirited way at times, and I've tried to speak up in some way when that happens. I don't like mean. I think you can slam someone's argument against a wall with full gusto without being mean. But I'm sensitive like that.

Oh, and before I go on. I'm not at all perfect. I've sometimes jumped to conclusions and posted a pissy post instead of thinking it through first. I'm not proud of it. I did it to ADR once or twice because I had it in my head that something she said meant x, y or z (I don't even remembernow) and so I was bitchy. She PM'ed me, quite graciously, and I was really glad she did. It helped me pay better attention to how I communicate. Communication is kind of my life's business, so I really hate it when I fuck it up and act like an asshole.

I've also tried to make jokes to lighten up a thread before and sometimes it fails and reads really mean. That sucks - I feel awful when I do that. Mean people suck! It's a silly little saying, but I kind of believe it, frankly.

Anyway, now for some constructive criticism. Bunny and nh - I wish both of you wouldn't fly off the handle as much as you do, each in your own way. It is obnoxious, and both of you are capable of better. And you both have shown that as well, so just, you know, cut it out, will ya?

cat - I respect you and your posts. I like to read what you have to say, and I find your life experience pretty darn interesting. I also think your posting style does read somewhat condescendingly at times. And no, it's not just about disagreeing. It's, for example, responding to a serious challenge to an idea of yours with "lol." It irks me every time, although hey, it's tough to read tone on a message board. So I do take it with a grain of salt. You sometimes say things in a way that sounds like, it's too bad you can't live my life. I know you don't consciously intend that, but there's a hint of it there.

On the other hand, to nh and anyone else who gets that worked up over cat's "condescension" - why does it bother you that much? No, let me rephrase. That shouldn't bother you that much. Speaking as someone who occasionally gets a bug up her ass over a perceived slight, let me tell ya, if it's bothering you that much, it's a you and you thing, not a you and cat thing.

Finally, it's always important to be reminded that someone has it worse than you. Because someone always does. I have spent days woe-is-me-ing about my divorce, and then I remind myself, shit, look at me, I have a good job (I do not struggle like some single moms out there, and I am so very thankful for that) that I actually enjoy! And still provides me a flexible schedule to spend time with my kid! That is so rare! And I met a man who is awesome - I may get remarried! How nuts is that? I was boohooing in therapy the other day a bit (while also doing some good work, but still) and my therapist said you know, nobody died! Yep, I fucked up in my life and I take responsibility for that, but nobody died. Not the best note to end on perhaps, but there you have it.

 

[intothewoods]

You can line up all your "my friends don't like Catalina or ADR or whoever". It doesn't mean a thing.

This isn't about liking or not liking Catalina, or how many people here support or don't support you and your friends. That's not the point RJ or Catalina or anyone else has been trying to make.

I can't believe some of you can't see that.

This whole thing is very sad. Life is so short and to be this bitter and mean at such a young age, really does sadden me. I'm sorry for the way things seem to be falling apart in this forum.

I agree with much of this post, especially this, just generally. I don't feel I know nh or Bunny well enough to know if they are mean or bitter, but life is truly so short and it's too short to be either. Just take that for what it's worth, and not as a personal attack.

 

[A Desert Rose]

ITW: And as I recall, I got pissy with you once, too over a post I misunderstood or misread. I apologized for it and you, too, graciously accepted. ;-)

It's not that hard to say "I'm sorry". It's not hard to say you misunderstood something or made a mistake or jumped to the wrong conclusion. It's actually a mature thing to do and it shows character.

It would be a dull place if we played nice all the time with each other and patted each other on the back constantly. It would also be disingenuous. No one here is promoting that.

What they are asking for is a little civility and common respect. Dare I say, maybe just being polite.

That all seems to be sadly lacking here, of late.

 

[Netzach]

1. Any time you think someone is an idiot and you come along with both guns blazing to tell them what an idiot they are do you REALLY expect them to thank you? I do. Everyone in this thread, thank me. (snort)

2. (xyz number of people back me up in PM) is lame. And I see both/all parties doing it. It's just lame internet argument behavior.

3. I just tough-love-tell-it-like-it-is seems to be lauded in some people and treated as cuntish when other people do it. I call serious bullshit on this.

I find this entire thing horribly disappointing.

ETA: this is not a response to the post directly above me.

 

[A Desert Rose]

1. Any time you think someone is an idiot and you come along with both guns blazing to tell them what an idiot they are do you REALLY expect them to thank you? I do. Everyone in this thread, thank me. (snort)

2. (xyz number of people back me up in PM) is lame. And I see both/all parties doing it. It's just lame internet argument behavior.

3. I just tough-love-tell-it-like-it-is seems to be lauded in some people and treated as cuntish when other people do it. I call serious bullshit on this.

I find this entire thing horribly disappointing.

ETA: this is not a response to the post directly above me.

I love you for dealing with my paranoia so well...

LOL
Thank you.

 

[serijules]

Basically what it comes down to is when a number of people over a number of threads tell you, either directly or subtly, that you are being <insert adjective here>....it's probably true. Even if you don't INTEND the behaviour to come across that way, it's probably true.

If you choose to ignore those hints and comments as to how your misbehavior is affecting the forum, then don't expect to be a respected member of it.

And no, this is not directed at ANY particular person. It's directed to all of us, myself included.

We all want to be respected members of the forum (with exception of the trolls, but they don't count). If we didn't, we simply would not be here. Putting about airs of "not caring" how you come across is going to eventually make people not care to know you or anything you say at all. Just like you wanted.

It's very possible to be honest, even blunt, without being rude. I hope I managed it here...if not...well, damn! lol

 

[Netzach]

Finally, it's always important to be reminded that someone has it worse than you. Because someone always does. I have spent days woe-is-me-ing about my divorce, and then I remind myself, shit, look at me, I have a good job (I do not struggle like some single moms out there, and I am so very thankful for that) that I actually enjoy! And still provides me a flexible schedule to spend time with my kid! That is so rare! And I met a man who is awesome - I may get remarried! How nuts is that? I was boohooing in therapy the other day a bit (while also doing some good work, but still) and my therapist said you know, nobody died! Yep, I fucked up in my life and I take responsibility for that, but nobody died. Not the best note to end on perhaps, but there you have it.

I used to think that till I got sick and started talking to enough people who have it worse than I do yet, and still none of us were the guy with 12 inches of intestine left. And some who had it better than me and were all "I can't take an asacol it's SYNTHETIC!"

And I don't find any solace in that anymore. I found better reasons to feel grateful for what I have than I might be one of the unlucky bastards who don't have it. I think it's more useful to say that your scars are real and just as earned as everyone else's. And everyone else's are just as real as yours. Nobody knows anyone else's suffering.

My Grandfather got one thing right.

"If you threw everyone's troubles down in the ring, and you could pick up someone else's you'd look and you'd look and everyone would still pick up their OWN."

 

[Netzach]

Basically what it comes down to is when a number of people over a number of threads tell you, either directly or subtly, that you are being <insert adjective here>....it's probably true. Even if you don't INTEND the behaviour to come across that way, it's probably true.

If you choose to ignore those hints and comments as to how your misbehavior is affecting the forum, then don't expect to be a respected member of it.

And no, this is not directed at ANY particular person. It's directed to all of us, myself included.

We all want to be respected members of the forum (with exception of the trolls, but they don't count). If we didn't, we simply would not be here. Putting about airs of "not caring" how you come across is going to eventually make people not care to know you or anything you say at all. Just like you wanted.

It's very possible to be honest, even blunt, without being rude. I hope I managed it here...if not...well, damn! lol

Yeah that.

 

[ltnsfr007]

BiBunny's post about being painfully shy....when i noticed she tries to project the image of being such a BITCH made me wonder how many other of us overcompensate for our insecurities to the point of it being quite obvious. Like for instance i'm very personable and friendly because it conceals that i'm actually very private and untrusting of others, aloof and wary. Like when i was amazed that so many were "shocked" ~gasp~ that someone was offended by thin remarks when they splash nude images daily of themselves on the internet....ah DUH! i think IMO it's obvious "that's why" they posted images of themselves constantly because "they were" so insecure about their looks.

Everyone feel free to ignore me and pretend this doesn't apply to you...the rest of us have you figured out anyway


pet

COUGH COUGH

 

[SubKekiLee]

Basically what it comes down to is when a number of people over a number of threads tell you, either directly or subtly, that you are being <insert adjective here>....it's probably true. Even if you don't INTEND the behaviour to come across that way, it's probably true.

If you choose to ignore those hints and comments as to how your misbehavior is affecting the forum, then don't expect to be a respected member of it.

And no, this is not directed at ANY particular person. It's directed to all of us, myself included.

We all want to be respected members of the forum (with exception of the trolls, but they don't count). If we didn't, we simply would not be here. Putting about airs of "not caring" how you come across is going to eventually make people not care to know you or anything you say at all. Just like you wanted.

It's very possible to be honest, even blunt, without being rude. I hope I managed it here...if not...well, damn! lol

YEAH! very well put!

 

[intothewoods]

I used to think that till I got sick and started talking to enough people who have it worse than I do yet, and still none of us were the guy with 12 inches of intestine left. And some who had it better than me and were all "I can't take an asacol it's SYNTHETIC!"

And I don't find any solace in that anymore. I found better reasons to feel grateful for what I have than I might be one of the unlucky bastards who don't have it. I think it's more useful to say that your scars are real and just as earned as everyone else's. And everyone else's are just as real as yours. Nobody knows anyone else's suffering.

My Grandfather got one thing right.

"If you threw everyone's troubles down in the ring, and you could pick up someone else's you'd look and you'd look and everyone would still pick up their OWN."

I think sometimes one needs to get over it, and sometimes one needs to reflect. I also agree nobody knows anyone else's suffering. I don't mean it's always important in a finger wagging kind of way. Both just work for me.

Most importantly, like seri said, you can be blunt, you can be assertive, you can speak your mind while generally being polite and respectful (I say generally because obviously if someone called me a kike, I probably wouldn't respond with, pardon me, but that offends me).

 

[the_pet]

This thread was about Bunny being a bitch? Boy I must have been half asleep when I posted, because that one flew right over my head. I wouldn't have participated if I'd caught that. I thought this was about defense mechanisms and the difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us. That'll teach me to read the thread better in the future.

Well actually i was not trying to discuss whether BB was a bitch or not but more rather the image we project to protect ourselves and how it's perceived and if others had their own revelations about the subject. For instance i use to have the same "I'm a bitch, don't fuck with me, i'm so tough and in control" chip on my shoulder kind of personality but it was to hide how scared and vulnerable i felt. That was years ago in my twenties and now in my (mmmff) i can see how thin this veil was and remember all the people who saw right through it, friends and foe alike. This was not a discussion of whether or not BB is a bitch.

I hope all this makes sense. I'm a big people watcher and human behavior fascinates me. I thought many responses were very thought provoking, to include yours, and i appreciate all those who took the time to explore this with me.

pet

 

[Caitlynne]

Well actually i was not trying to discuss whether BB was a bitch or not but more rather the image we project to protect ourselves and how it's perceived and if others had their own revelations about the subject. For instance i use to have the same "I'm a bitch, don't fuck with me, i'm so tough and in control" chip on my shoulder kind of personality but it was to hide how scared and vulnerable i felt. That was years ago in my twenties and now in my (mmmff) i can see how thin this veil was and remember all the people who saw right through it, friends and foe alike. This was not a discussion of whether or not BB is a bitch.

I hope all this makes sense. I'm a big people watcher and human behavior fascinates me. I thought many responses were very thought provoking, to include yours, and i appreciate all those who took the time to explore this with me.

pet

Thanks. That was how I saw the discussion. I appreciate you taking the time to share your reasons.

As to the self-proclaimed "bitches" in this thread. I want to share something about the Internet. It takes absolutely no strength, courage, talent or intelligence to place your fingers on the keyboard and type out insults. You can call yourself a bitch. You can even explain that this bitchiness is a product of a 'defense mechanisms', but truth be told, when 'others' observe it, it's just plain ol tiresome.

What is really happening here is a lack of appreciation for the medium we're all interacting in. This is text. We can't read any body language, any voice cues, anything at all, other than the words on the page and the past words on past pages. And yet, some think they know the inner most workings of the psyche of people who are here. Amazing. The hubris of it all is absolutely astonishing in fact.

This petty back sniping is disruptive to discussions. We come here to interact with each other and discuss stuff. If this has now become the kinky General Board, then I'll be moving along. My life is too short to play games with people who don't know how to go out into public and act their age.

I don't care who is a real bitch or who is only playing at being a bitch, BUT if that is the personae you've chosen to display here, so be it. Just don't be surprised if people begin to shun you. While proclaiming your bitchiness sounds tough, it is a role that eventually leads to isolation. Being outspoken and direct has consequences. Please don't be whining when they come to pass.

 

[the_pet]

COUGH COUGH

..hey no comments from the peanut gallery, arn't you supposed to be surfing?!

 

[00Syd]

I used to think that till I got sick and started talking to enough people who have it worse than I do yet, and still none of us were the guy with 12 inches of intestine left. And some who had it better than me and were all "I can't take an asacol it's SYNTHETIC!"

And I don't find any solace in that anymore. I found better reasons to feel grateful for what I have than I might be one of the unlucky bastards who don't have it. I think it's more useful to say that your scars are real and just as earned as everyone else's. And everyone else's are just as real as yours. Nobody knows anyone else's suffering.

My Grandfather got one thing right.

"If you threw everyone's troubles down in the ring, and you could pick up someone else's you'd look and you'd look and everyone would still pick up their OWN."

That is an incredible pearl of wisdom.

 

[BiBunny]

Are you sure? Or are you just retreating until your next opportunity.

My bet is the latter.

Typical bully behavior. You get confronted with a 1 ton truck of reality check and truth dropped on you and suddenly its a circular argument and so...you're done?

Well I'm not done.

In fact I think there are quite a few people here who are not done. They are sick and tired of the constant BS of you and Bunny playing tag team bitches every chance you get.

I can't blame you for the choice of others to leave, but I can say that without a doubt your's and Bunny's behavior of late is the "reason" why people are making that choice.

If you honestly feel like your only recourse around here is to act like a bitch, then why not go and find a place where you don't have to be one? If your answer to that is because you think you have a right to be here and will do whatever you want, let me remind you that isn't exactly true. Regardless of your own personal opinion of Cat and whether you see her as a hypocrate or worse is entirely besides the point that she is still the moderator of this forum and is charged with the responsibility of the over-all welfare of the board and its members. When people in the double digits are PMing her and telling her they are so unhappy/angry with this "I am a bitch, deal with it attitude" as the source, it is no longer a personal matter between you and Cat or Bunny and Cat......do you get that? It becomes a forum problem.

People have tried to talk to you. Have asked you. Have confronted you. Pleaded with both of you. Tried reasonsing with you and have appealed to your sense of human decency to stop the fucking buillshit but you don't listen, and your answer is you don't care. What's left?

Catalina's rant was right on target. There's just no excuse for it.

Ok, RJ. You and I have spoken several times via PM about the matter, and you have been kind to me approaching you out of the blue about it when you didn't have to be, which is why I'm going to (try to) give you a thoughtful response.

After speaking with you (and others) and realizing that perhaps I have been too abrasive in my delivery, thereby obscuring my point, I've done my best the past few days to sit on my hands when I have been tempted to do otherwise. It upsets me that you have been nice in "private," so to speak, and we appeared to bury the hatchet, and then you turn right around and blast me again in public. In looking back over my posts in this thread, I'm not sure where I have been so offensive.

I find it interesting that had it been me who started this thread with an initial opening sentence like "X is a [insert random word here]" without that person's permission, I'd have been crucified. This is not a jab at the_pet because I really didn't mind the initial question, as she was just taking something I'd said on another thread and using it as an example. But when it almost immediately turned into yet another attempt to provoke me, it annoyed me. The double standard here is...interesting.

I further find it interesting that if all these supposed people have a problem with me that absolutely none of them have said a single word to me about it. On one hand, I'm inclined to say, "If you can't stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen," but on the other hand, I can be quite reasonable if one wants to be honest with me via PM or whatever. I may be a lot of things, but I have, at least, always had enough backbone to state my piece if I had a problem with someone or something without having to either whisper behind their backs about it or ride in on the coattails of another. "Free speech" means that even I am entitled to my opinion, and each one of you are entitled to call me an asshole, if you so desire. My PM box is always open for each of these folks, and I'll treat anyone who has the balls to confront me directly with respect, even if I don't agree with their assessments. What I object to is the obvious baiting that I have chosen up until this point to ignore and the childish piling-on now that the forces have been rallied, so to speak. I know that I'm quite unpopular, but I will say what I think, even if everyone else disagrees.

1. Any time you think someone is an idiot and you come along with both guns blazing to tell them what an idiot they are do you REALLY expect them to thank you? I do. Everyone in this thread, thank me. (snort)

2. (xyz number of people back me up in PM) is lame. And I see both/all parties doing it. It's just lame internet argument behavior.

3. I just tough-love-tell-it-like-it-is seems to be lauded in some people and treated as cuntish when other people do it. I call serious bullshit on this.

I find this entire thing horribly disappointing.

ETA: this is not a response to the post directly above me.

I agree with this entire post, the bolded part most of all. Thank you, Netz.

And cat...cat, cat, cat.

I have seen attempt after attempt from you this week to provoke me, which I have ignored to the best of my ability. I PM-ed you about it, and you ignored me, which is your prerogative, of course, but let it not be said that I didn't give you ample opportunity in which to confront me directly.

I almost blew up on you, but I decided it wasn't worth the damned effort. Your antics say more about you than I ever could. I invite you to take a long, hard look in the mirror. It's a shame that the board software won't allow us to place moderators on our Ignore lists.



Again, my PM box is open for anyone who wishes to engage me further.

 

[serijules]

I know that I'm quite unpopular, but I will say what I think, even if everyone else disagrees.

I don't think you are quite as unpopular as you think. There are quite a few times I've seen you reply to a post with your hackles up and I read it and wonder why you get so defensive and start with the "I'm a bitch" stuff. You've even done it a few times in reply to posts or replies I've made to you and what to me was a great discussion all the sudden turned into having somehow seemingly upset you. So now I kind of avoid replying to anything you say because this reaction confuses me and as someone who likes to avoid confrontation....well, that's how I avoid it with you.

I've never SEEN you be a bitch that I can recall, but I can recall many times where you have started or ended a post with the "I'm unpopular/I'm a bitch/No one cares what I say/Shrug" type of response. It's hard to feel comfortable interacting with you because of THIS, not because you are unpopular or bitchy.

You have a lot of good things to say, interesting topics, experiences, etc...but I feel like you don't even give people a chance to appreciate them because of that "uber bitch" defense.

Hope you don't take this as an attack or any such thing, I'm just hopefully trying to share the impression I get as someone who doesn't know you very well but well, WANTS to. I'm reminded of that old adage that goes something like "if you go into a task assuming you will fail, you likely will". If you keep insisting and portraying yourself as a bitch when you really are not one...eventually everyone is going to simply assume you are without even trying to get to know you and that would rather suck

Unless of course, that is what you want...which is what this whole thread was about. I kind of doubt it though, which is why I'm hoping this post is taken in the manner I intend it in.