Favorite Online Pickup Lines

[cookiejar]

More Midieval Lines

I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.
Can I hose down your doublet?
Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.
You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
Come up and see my scrolls.
You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.
They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.
My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.
Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.
When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched.

 

[cookiejar]

Beavis & Butthead Pick-up Lines

Uh, hey baby.
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..
Would you like carry my books for me?.
I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..
My lips are registered weapons.
I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..
If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine..
If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..
Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
Uh,...what?
Hey, baby, do you want me to take off my shorts?

 

[michaelmt1]

The most common pickup line I have heard latly is

"Is that really you in your AV"



Mike

 

[rosylady]

Re: this might be a stretch.................

not really a pick up line per say...........but I just marvel at all those people who are many, many miles away from someones request...........those responses like:

"Oh baby, if only you were in my country..........

"If you ever get to Alaska, look me up.........

"Let me see if my passport is current.....................

always cracks me up..................

greybeard

LOL thanks greybeard (may I call you grey?) those are funny.

 

[rosylady]

Re: Beavis & Butthead Pick-up Lines

Uh, hey baby.
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh huh huh huh..
Would you like carry my books for me?.
I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..
My lips are registered weapons.
I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree..
If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like a sex machine..
If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..
Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?.
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
Uh,...what?
Hey, baby, do you want me to take off my shorts?

Pssssssst Cookie, I posted these already, lol

 

[rosylady]

Re: PICK-UP LINES FROM PRINCE CHARLES

* "Wanna hold the royal scepter?"

* "Put a flag over my head and do it for England."

* "Ever done it with an outdated historical anachronism?"

* "If you think my ears are big..."

* "Come upstairs with me and I'll make you the Princess of Wails!"

* "Care to join a family of inbred freaks?"

* "Would you like to sit in a giant bowl of eggnog with me?"

* "Why don't you lose that hayseed you're with, Hillary?"

* "Let's put the bucking in Buckingham Palace!"

* "I've got Big Ben in my pants!"

LOL Cookie, you have to tell me where you find all these.

 

[rosylady]

Re: More Midieval Lines

I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.
Can I hose down your doublet?
Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.
You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
Come up and see my scrolls.
You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.
They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.
My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.
Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.
When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched.

Cookie I personally love all these medieval pickup lines.
That was my favorite subject in High School. (Medieval History)

 

[rosylady]

The most common pickup line I have heard latly is

"Is that really you in your AV"



Mike

But, But, But...........is it? (LOL)

 

[rosylady]

what a coincidence! Charles and I share the same birthday- next thursday, Nov 14.

Happy Birthday sirhugs!!!!!!

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/hb93.gif

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/hapbirt.gif

 

[sirhugs]

Happy Birthday sirhugs!!!!!!

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/hb93.gif

http://www.uselessgraphics.com/hapbirt.gif

thanks

today's special fave online pickup line

"wanna blow out my birthday candle?"

 

[cookiejar]

More Midevials

That's a nice chastity belt you're wearing. My blacksmith friends and I can help you out of it.
Honest, milady, it will help clear up the pox marks.
Is that a knife in you're armor? Or are you just happy to see me?
Hey baby, King Arthur isn't the only one with a big round thing. How 'bout coming up and waxing mine?
Looks like my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?
It's not the size of your sword but what you can do with it.
Been there, slain that.
Your hovel or mine?
Pestilence makes the heart go wander.
How'd you like to ride my stallion? He's well trained for battle!
Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my longsword in action?
Every second of every our of every day is like a thousand knives of fire stabbing me in the heart. I long for thee incessantly, so much that mine sorrow seems without surcease. My alliteration is small comfort next to the warm gaze of thine azure eyes. I carve the comfort of thine embrace like some lost child cold and alone in the dark....So, you wanna !@£$%
You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?
I like the cut of your jib.
My goat bite is no longer infected, so would you like to dance?
If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle.
How about going out with a guy who doesn't have the plague for a change?
Wizard: You know, my hat isn't the on ly thing that's pointed.
Mlle. Darc, thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my polearm whilst I attempt to light thy fire?
Do you practice safe hex?
You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you?
Oh yea baby- black plague, leprosy, or scarlet fever- honey, I've got the cure for you.
You is know that chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.
I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like to see my breaststroke?
I bet you would look nice in some maternity armor.
Wench: what's that sound? Knight: that's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding.
You hit on me harder than the black plague!
Why storm the castle when we can make our own
The first time I saw thee, I felt as if my stomach had been raided by beautiful fire breathing dragons. Uh..in a nice way of course.
Excuse me, Milady, would you have a place where I may sheath my longsword?
Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact "The Miller's Tale?"
You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!
Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?
I most certainly am King in bed! Shall I prove it to you?
So...been to any good hangings lately?
Don't worry . . . if you kiss me, I won't turn into a frog.
"Why, I once speared 10 of them with a single thrust.
Don't believe the rumors you heard about me . . . the Bubonic plague didn't affect the important parts.
Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.
They say a knight is always as hard as his armor.
I hath done combat with many a beast, but I must confess that was the tightest situation I have ever been in.
How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled with lus.. er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.
If the stars in the sky were as beautiful as the eyes on thee, then they'd be really pretty.
Milady you can ride my horse. I must tell you, he's a wild one!
Would thoust be interested in viewing mine buttshaft?
I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er... PUNISH me, now won't you?
If quietus you make, I'll bare my bodkin for you.
C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.
I'd rather be beheaded than be denied a date with you. -- JDW
Sword fighting is like _everything_ else : it's all in your thrust.
I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!
Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?
I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?
No, I'm actually a wizard. Want to see my crystal balls?
Darling, these Trojans are rather painful...We may need some oil for this armor.
I might have lost most of my limbs in battle but I've still got one left.
You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you?
Hey, baby, wanna chain my mail?
My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.

 

[michaelmt1]

But, But, But...........is it? (LOL)

Have you follewed the link in my sig line ? yep its me.



Mike

 

[rosylady]

Have you follewed the link in my sig line ? yep its me.



Mike

Not until you mentioned it. Nice pics.and I was only kidding, I knew it was you. LOL

 

[michaelmt1]

Not until you mentioned it. Nice pics.and I was only kidding, I knew it was you. LOL

Thanks




Mike

 

[Guest]

thanks for this thread i needed a good laugh tonight

my two cents worth:

Pickup lines for computer geeks
- Nice Set of Floppies!

- Hey, how 'bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.

- I'd like to play on your laptop.

- Need me to unzip your files?

- If you were an ISP, I'd dial you all day long!

- I'd like to boot up your PC!

- I'll bet my hard drive is the biggest you've ever seen!

- I've got a 21 inch... (monitor)

- I'd get a T3 to watch your streaming video...

- Your homepage or mine?

 

[rosylady]

thanks for this thread i needed a good laugh tonight

my two cents worth:

Pickup lines for computer geeks
- Nice Set of Floppies!

- Hey, how 'bout I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU.

- I'd like to play on your laptop.

- Need me to unzip your files?

- If you were an ISP, I'd dial you all day long!

- I'd like to boot up your PC!

- I'll bet my hard drive is the biggest you've ever seen!

- I've got a 21 inch... (monitor)

- I'd get a T3 to watch your streaming video...

- Your homepage or mine?

Heck no problem, we all need a good laugh sometimes. I also recommend List of top tens...play along. and hot tub and dirty jokes.

 

[rosylady]

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."

 

[rosylady]

Here are the "Late Show" Top Ten "Survivor" Pickup Lines, as presented by all 16 "Survivor: The Australian Outback" castaways on Thursday night's "Late Show":

10. Michael: "That fire I fell into wasn't nearly as hot as you are, baby."

9. Rodger: "If you don't eat for 6 days, I start looking like a young Paul Newman."

8. Mitchell: "Forget the tribe, my pants have spoken."

7. Kel, Kimmi, Alicia, Deb, Nick, Jeff, Amber: "We'll eat anything."

6. Maralyn: "Mad cow makes you sick, but Mad Dog makes you feel good."

5. Tina: "Is that an immunity idol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

4. Jerri: "Don't worry. Producers just made me look like a psychobitch in editing."

3. Keith: "It wasn't the editing."

2. Elisabeth: "If you show me your Ogakor, I'll show you my Kucha."

1. Colby: "Ever done it in the back of a Pontiac Aztek?"

 

[cookiejar]

AUSTIN POWERS PICK-UP LINES

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)....Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

3. Nice legs...what time do they open?

4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher,have you seen one?

9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on Earth tonight.

10. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

11. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

12. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

13. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

14. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

15. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

20. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

21. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

22. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

23. My name is Austin ... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

24. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

25. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

26. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."

27. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

28. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

29. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

30. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

31. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

32. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

33. Do you sleep on your stomach? no..........? Can I???

34. Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.

35. I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

 

[cookiejar]

Pick Up Lines For Grocery Store Check-out Clerks

Pick Up Lines For Grocery Store Check-out Clerks

"Will that be paper, plastic, or me?"

"Would you like me to carry that to your car or your bedroom?"

"I'm really a billionaire. I just work here part-time to you know, kill time."

"We have a strict 'no melon squashing' policy here but for you we'll make the exception."

"I'm checking you out. Oh yes I am."

"You're looking for the condoms? The ones in aisle six or in my wallet?"

"We usually don't accept returns here, but I'm hoping you'll come again and again."

"Let me show you where I keep the sausage here."

"Are you Winona Ryder? You seem to have stolen my heart."

"I can tell from your selection of bulk items that I'm just the guy you've been looking for."

"Are you a member of our savings program? No? Just put your name and phone number right here..."

"Let's go see what we can melt in the frozen foods department."

"Can I get a price check on my heart?"

"I'd like to show you my blue light special."

"Clean up. Pants aisle."

 

[rosylady]

Re: Pick Up Lines For Grocery Store Check-out Clerks

Pick Up Lines For Grocery Store Check-out Clerks

"Will that be paper, plastic, or me?"

"Would you like me to carry that to your car or your bedroom?"

"I'm really a billionaire. I just work here part-time to you know, kill time."

"We have a strict 'no melon squashing' policy here but for you we'll make the exception."

"I'm checking you out. Oh yes I am."

"You're looking for the condoms? The ones in aisle six or in my wallet?"

"We usually don't accept returns here, but I'm hoping you'll come again and again."

"Let me show you where I keep the sausage here."

"Are you Winona Ryder? You seem to have stolen my heart."

"I can tell from your selection of bulk items that I'm just the guy you've been looking for."

"Are you a member of our savings program? No? Just put your name and phone number right here..."

"Let's go see what we can melt in the frozen foods department."

"Can I get a price check on my heart?"

"I'd like to show you my blue light special."

"Clean up. Pants aisle."

LOL, where do you find these girl????

 

[rosylady]

15 Pickup Lines by Shakespeare

15. How about a little Puck?

14. Of course, "Romeo and Gertrude" is just a working title. I might be persuaded to change it for you, M'Lady.

13. Et Tu, Cutie?

12. Shall I compare thee to a brick outhouse?

11. If I whispered in thine ear that thou hadst a body of beauty unknown but to the heavens, wouldst thou hold it against me?

10. Wouldst thou care to join me in forming the beast with two backs?

9. My heart, it pines, as my trouser's tent.

8. Without thine companionship, dear lady, I fearest I would spend the evening with pen in hand, if thou knows what I mean.

7. Hey, Baby, can Ophelia up?

6. Is this a dagger I see before me? Nay! I'm merely happy to cast eyes upon thy beauty!

5. Greetings to you, fair sailor.

4. But soft, what light through yonder trousers breaks?

3. Wouldst thou away you to Motel 6 with me?

2. O! Prithee, sitteth upon my visage, and perchance to let me divine thy weight.

1. Do me, or not do me. THAT is the question!

 

[rosylady]

Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines

1. "I'm down here"

2. "Just because I've got bells on my shoes, doesn't mean I'm a sissy."

3. "I was once a lawn ornament for 'NSynch. Want to meet them?"

4. "I can get you off Santa's naughty list."

5. "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys."

6. "I'm a magical being. Can I try to make your top and bra disappear?"

7. "No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over at Keebler."

8. "Get an eyedropper of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man."

9. "You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig."

10. "I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners"

 

[biggbear8]

rosy

bump hehehehehehehe

 

[rosylady]

Pick-Up Lines to use on Woman Engineers

1. I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.

2. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.

3. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.

4. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.

5. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.

6. Wanna come back to my room? ...and see my 266Mhz Pentium II?

7. How about you and I go back to my place and form a covalent bond?

8. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.

9. You're sweeter than glucose.

10. We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.

11. Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between you and me?

12. Wanna see the programs in my HP-48GX?

13. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.

14. Isn't your e-mail address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com

15. You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!