Lord Pmann Wants to Discuss Weird Sex Stuff

[OrdinaryPerson]

Pie- that’s a myth that is perpetuated by a movie. Unlike vaginas, pies are solely for eating, not fucking. I’ve never fucked a pie.

Cake- I’ve never fucked a cake but the same rule applies, although I believe the most fuckable cake is tres leches. Which, if you fuck it long enough, it’ll be cuatro leches.

Women’s underwear- you can’t really fuck them. You can use them to masturbate. But not fuck.

A box- not as good as a shop vac. It has sharp edges and there is nothing there once you slide your dick inside. It does not feel good.

A bowl- I’ve never fucked a bowl. But I can’t even wrap my head around the bowl fucking logistics.

A pillow- this is the best choice on your list. It’s fuckable, but it just lays there.

Paper- no. Maybe origami. But not just a plain sheet of paper.

Shop vac > all your suggestions

But none of my suggestions can rip off my dick

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Haha. Oh god. I’ll have to think of the next audio.

But OP… your interest in my stories makes me think I’ve finally found porn that you like. You’re welcome.

Yes... like....

 

[Lord Pmann]

But none of my suggestions can rip off my dick

I assure you, a shop vac won’t rip off your dick. Trust me. It’s not even a problem.

 

[SassySheDevil]

But none of my suggestions can rip off my dick

The imagery of the dick meeting the paper and trying to fuck it does provide a gory image. - paper cut galore.

 

[hotwords229_A]

early 2000s Nokia phones

WHAT?!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

WHAT?!

The aerials were a nice touch

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Damn, wanted to hear Lord Pony Man's story, but it looks like it's gone - or is it in another thread?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Damn, wanted to hear Lord Pony Man's story, but it looks like it's gone - or is it in another thread?

Which one?

He has dozens of stories

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Which one?

He has dozens of stories

The most recent one where someone gave him the Brittany Spears side-eye gif as a reaction.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The most recent one where someone gave him the Brittany Spears side-eye gif as a reaction.

https://voca.ro/11Hm1SwusWYL

It was in another thread. But it's not entirely relevant to that thread, so I posted the direct vocaroo link up there ^^^.

This was the thread where it was originally posted.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/women-post-porn-that-you-like-here.1608565/page-2#post-98744678

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

https://voca.ro/11Hm1SwusWYL

It was in another thread. But it's not entirely relevant to that thread, so I posted the direct vocaroo link up there ^^^.

This was the thread where it was originally posted.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/women-post-porn-that-you-like-here.1608565/page-2#post-98744678

"Meth mouth Mollies" is one of my favorite phrases ever. Everyone has that one friend, and if you don't know who it is, I have bad news for you.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

"Meth mouth Mollies" is one of my favorite phrases ever. Everyone has that one friend, and if you don't know who it is, I have bad news for you.

We call them edentulous because we fancy

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

We call them edentulous because we fancy

Bougie

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Bougie

Hardly.
It's just cunning linguistics

 

[Lord Pmann]

"Meth mouth Mollies" is one of my favorite phrases ever. Everyone has that one friend, and if you don't know who it is, I have bad news for you.

The funny thing is, I kind of thought I was the weirdest of all my friends. The one who liked the odd porn… I never thought he was freaky at all. But lo and behold, he was freaky AF.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

WHAT?!

 

[Lord Pmann]

View attachment 2342719

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Hardly.
It's just cunning linguistics

I've heard it both ways.

The funny thing is, I kind of thought I was the weirdest of all my friends. The one who liked the odd porn… I never thought he was freaky at all. But lo and behold, he was freaky AF.

Yup. After more than once of having all eyes glued to me, I learned to shut up.

View attachment 2342719

I mean, it's probably the most dependable option.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I mean, it's probably the most dependable option.

Still fucking mine from 2003

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Still fucking mine from 2003

Buttons add just that special feel

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Still fucking mine from 2003

That vibrate setting is next level

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

That vibrate setting is next level

I'll give ya a call whenever you'd like.
To be helpful, of course.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

So, today I learned I haven't shoved nearly enough random objects up my ass

Apparently, I haven't either. Who knew.

I’m a big fan of ass play, but I can’t think of a single random thing I’ve shoved in there. I started with a finger (not mine) and worked up to all the normal things (dicks, toys, tongues.) I have a large variety of toys and regularly try new ones. With all of those options, why would I want to even try the random object route?

To this day I don't know why I went with that option. There were easier options that didn't involve that.

Oh, oh, I know this answer!

Your brain gets cloudy af when you’re horny

 

[hotwords229_A]

With all of those options, why would I want to even try the random object route?

New hobby, Masturbation Art?

 

[SassySheDevil]

New hobby, Masturbation Art?

You and Pmann and default will be posting masturbation pictures?