Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[Taegul]

His orgy parties are even more popular than ever in this era of "social distancing".

 

[DeckardNYC]

His orgy parties are even more popular than ever in this era of "social distancing".

Man chokes on lollipop on sidewalk, crowd practices "social distancing" until 7 year old steps up and performs Heimlich Method and saves his butt.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Picked all the tulips, pissing off Miss Vicki

 

[DeckardNYC]

Picked all the tulips, pissing off Miss Vicki

Broke the world record for eating the most Sour Patch Kids in one hour.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Broke the world record for eating the most Sour Patch Kids in one hour.

that's not that far fetched, deckard

Claimed he was taken away by the dream police. His friends later learned it was a cheap trick for attention. more of a baseless lie?

 

[DeckardNYC]

that's not that far fetched, deckard

Claimed he was taken away by the dream police. His friends later learned it was a cheap trick for attention. more of a baseless lie?

so now you should be Sour Lara! Ha ha ha ha

Never actually read or saw Dr Zhivago.

 

[_valkyrie_]

Every year, dozens of Litizens gather at the gates of the inconspicuous home of one so-called DeckardNYC, engaging in the immemorial festivity of throwing rotten cabbages into the yard. This tradition has absolutely no historical background or actual purpose.

 

[profindis]

Every year, dozens of Litizens gather at the gates of the inconspicuous home of one so-called DeckardNYC, engaging in the immemorial festivity of throwing rotten cabbages into the yard. This tradition has absolutely no historical background or actual purpose.

As a new age cult leader.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Sold a fake sword to the wrong person.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Was trapped in a green box and hauled away to storage

 

[johnnieblue44]

Was trapped in a green box and hauled away to storage

Exposed her tits to a grocery store stock boy in an effort to exceed the limit of only two rolls of toilet paper.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Exposed her tits to a grocery store stock boy in an effort to exceed the limit of only two rolls of toilet paper.

This just in: Johnnie Blue, 44, a bagboy at Whole Foods, was arrested today for sexual misconduct when he attempted to make a customer bare her breasts for free tissue. More as this story develops.

 

[DeckardNYC]

This just in: Johnnie Blue, 44, a bagboy at Whole Foods, was arrested today for sexual misconduct when he attempted to make a customer bare her breasts for free tissue. More as this story develops.

Florida Man arrested for selling fake cures to COVID-19.

 

[profindis]

For violating a full-quarantine order invoked in NYC, and jumping on a flower bed hard from the deck above!

 

[DeckardNYC]

For violating a full-quarantine order invoked in NYC, and jumping on a flower bed hard from the deck above!

Banned for not knowing everyone left NYC in the 24 hours after the QT came into effect.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

banned? wrong thread deckard but then these threads really all look alike

He was hatched from an eagle's egg live on camera as the world watched

 

[DeckardNYC]

banned? wrong thread deckard but then these threads really all look alike

He was hatched from an eagle's egg live on camera as the world watched

Arrested for hiding 4,000 rolls of tp

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

Arrested for hiding 4,000 rolls of tp

He held a Covid19 party and had the nerve to invite the govenor of Kentucky. The govenor actually showed up, did his Mister Rogers's shame/pep speech, and now Deckard is on the "Healthy (alone) at Home" bandwagon.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

He held a Covid19 party and had the nerve to invite the govenor of Kentucky. The govenor actually showed up, did his Mister Rogers's shame/pep speech, and now Deckard is on the "Healthy (alone) at Home" bandwagon.

Won second prize in a beauty contest, and the whole $10.

Made the news because the winner was caught deep-throating the judge when she was supposed to be getting crowned.

 

[Shynaughtyguy69]

Attacked at a dungeons and dragons gathering by star wars fans thinking he was a rogue Jawa.

 

[Shynaughtyguy69]

Sexy woman arrested for distracting train conductor causing large crash. All passengers ignored their injuries and pursued this mystery woman. $1,000,000 reward for her capture $1,500,00 if you get her in cuffs.

 

[DeckardNYC]

You can cuff me anytime you want babe, no charge

(Next poster can skip me, I just had to chime in lol)

Patient zero of the second wave -- QT craziness....

 

[VoraciousValue]

Patient zero of the second wave -- QT craziness....

Ass fucked every governor who still hasn't issued a stay-at-home order.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Refused to leave the beltway.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Announced a sequel to The Killing Fields.

Refused to leave the beltway.

Technically, we're not supposed to leave the state right now. How exactly that would be enforced is another question.