Post a reason why the person above would appear in the evening breaking news

[kurrginatorX]

Trapped in a never-ending loop of Blue's Clues episodes.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Too clever for their own good.

Trapped in a never-ending loop of Blue's Clues episodes.

...finally! Somebody who recognized my username for what it is.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Too clever for their own good.

Turned out their thinking chair was used by the CIA as a torture device.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Turned out their thinking chair was used by the CIA as a torture device.

Streaking down Fifth Avenue during rush hour.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Tom: Well, Trisha. seems like local boob Deckard is at it again.

Trisha: How so, Tom?

Tom: He claims he can melt the ice and snow piled up in the city. According to Deckard, he will eat hot peppers and Lima Beans, allowing the gas to build within him, then melt the snow with his odoriferous emanations.

Trisha: Surely something like that will cause a hole in the ozone layer.

Tom: I don't know how true that statement is, but please, don't call me Shirley. Up next, Nancy Pelosi shows us her autographed photo of Moses.

 

[Mr_bogey]

Reeks of serial killer.

 

[kurrginatorX]

The Invisible Man is at it again. sadly, he couldn't be reached for comment.

 

[DeckardNYC]

The Invisible Man is at it again. sadly, he couldn't be reached for comment.

He's locked in s portable toilet

 

[Polranny]

He's locked in s portable toilet

He forgot to set the snowshifter's alarm

 

[kurrginatorX]

He forgot to set the snowshifter's alarm

Local man captured tonight as he went about the city on his dragon (a stick horse with dragon head taped to it) attempting to cut people with his sword. All authorities have been able to get from him thus far is "I'm Game of Thrones."

 

[DeckardNYC]

Local man captured tonight as he went about the city on his dragon (a stick horse with dragon head taped to it) attempting to cut people with his sword. All authorities have been able to get from him thus far is "I'm Game of Thrones."

Florida Man strips naked to escape arrest, gets tased in scrotum. See https://news.yahoo.com/shoplifter-tried-escape-cops-stripping-145034369.html.

 

[BadAmy]

Florida Man strips naked to escape arrest, gets tased in scrotum. See https://news.yahoo.com/shoplifter-tried-escape-cops-stripping-145034369.html.

All those bodies were finally found.
Under that deck.

 

[tallladiesman]

All those bodies were finally found.
Under that deck.

arrested for lewd behaviour in a church

 

[DeckardNYC]

arrested for lewd behaviour in a church

Caught peeping into second story window...without a ladder.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Caught peeping into second story window...without a ladder.

Crotchety old man accosted by street toughs. More at eleven.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Florida Man arrested at airport security with loaded concealed .45. I mean, who doesn't know?

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Tried to drive without his wallet.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Tried to drive without his wallet.

Used their outdoor voice indoors, despite explicit instructions not to by their parole officer.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Stole enough toilet paper to last him 9000 years.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Stole enough toilet paper to last him 9000 years.

Was finally apprehended and charged with kidnapping Josh Dela Cruz, or whatever the fuck his name is.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

Assuming I’d even think about kidnapping Josh. I would never.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Assuming I’d even think about kidnapping Josh. I would never.

Apprehended in a sting operation involving producing movies of Josh Dela Cruz, or whatever the fuck his name is, in scandalous three-way with Blue and Periwinkle.

 

[Jada59]

Apprehended in a sting operation involving producing movies of Josh Dela Cruz, or whatever the fuck his name is, in scandalous three-way with Blue and Periwinkle.

He's growing peanuts everywhere. And I do mean everywhere!

 

[VoraciousValue]

He's growing peanuts everywhere. And I do mean everywhere!

Proved once and for all that Diet Dr. Pepper tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper.

 

[letsusethethinkingchair]

First human to fly without an airplane or wings.